Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

The Emperor’s Old Clothes

Posted by MyLaowai on Thursday, July 19, 2007

Chairman Hu Jintao and Premier Wen Jiabao were discussing what to do about the rising tide of civil unrest in the country. They had almost come to the point of admitting that there was nothing they could do except send in the Army again, when Wen had a brainwave!

“Hu,” he cried out, “why don’t we go on a tour of the country, disguised as peasant farmers. That way we can blend in with the common people and learn what they are really thinking. As Harmonious Communists it will give us great Political Correctness.”

Hu thought it was a wonderful idea, so they dressed themselves up in peasant garb, with shiny trousers rolled up above their knees, shirts that may once have been white but which was now yellow and stained, an old and poorly made double-breasted jacket apiece, slip-on shoes, and thatched rice-paddy hats to top it off. They also got themselves a small and very dirty pig and tied a rope around its’ neck as a leash, to complete the disguise.

And off they went into China, to be amongst their people.

The first day out, towards evening, they espied a ramshackle tea house near the edge of a small and humble hamlet. “Ah,” said Hu, “the perfect place in which to mingle with our people.”

They both shuffled up to the counter, at which was slumped an old peasant.

“Ni hao, comrades,” muttered the old peasant. “Cup of tea?”

Hu and Wen, feeling that a cup of tea would be just the thing, assented.

Shortly afterwards, an old woman entered, looked around, came up to the pair, and then studied the pig carefully. After some time she lifted up the pig’s tail, had a good look, then shuffled out the door into the evening. Hu and Wen exchanged mystified glances, then went back to their tea. Some minutes later, a peasant worker entered, ambled up to them them, glaced at their faces, then looked down at the pig. After a moments contemplation, he lifted the pig’s tail, took a close look, then ambled out again. This process was repeated again and again, and each time the two great Leaders grew more and more puzzled.

“Excuse me,” Hu finally said to the peasant currently lifting up the pig’s tail, “what are you doing? All night our comrades have been coming in, lifting up our pig’s tail, then leaving. Is this a traditional local custom?”

“No.” replied the peasant, “I was just investigating the rumour that in this ‘ere teahouse, there was a pig with two arseholes.”

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6 Responses to “The Emperor’s Old Clothes”

  1. LMFAO!!!

  2. Stranded Mariner said

    Funny one mate! Who said there was no sense of humour here?

  3. Anounymous said

    I have gotten the link to the refute story; http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2007-07/20/content-5440679.htm

    Also, Chinese rapid military buildup is another worrying sign (it usually spends on its military five times the amount of money US, Britain, and even Russia spend on their militaries) , I think you are smart enough to figure out what the Chinese government wants. Chinese government is currently using Taiwan as an excuse, but the Chinese government has a much bigger prey…after thinking about the rich foreign countries’ resources…
    Please, warn as much as foreign governments as possible… let the foreign governments know that business is not more important than safety.

  4. Anounymous said

    I have gotten the link to the refute story; I have gotten the link to the refute story; http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2007-07/20/content-5440679.htm

    Also, Chinese rapid military buildup is another worrying sign (it usually spends on its military five times the amount of money US, Britain, and even Russia spend on their militaries) , I think you are smart enough to figure out what the Chinese government wants. Chinese government is currently using Taiwan as an excuse, but the Chinese government has a much bigger prey…after thinking about the rich foreign countries’ resources…
    Please, warn as much as foreign governments as possible… let the foreign governments know that business is not more important than safety.

  5. mae said

    WALANG KUWENTA KASI WALANG PICTURE!!!

  6. MyLaowai said

    Mae, my Tagalog isn’t so great, is that as rude as I think it is?

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