Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

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What have the Laowai’s ever done for us?

Posted by MyLaowai on Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Some foreigners say China not great! Ha! China most great since ancient times. China have five thousands years history. You Laowai only exploit poor China, try to keep us from our rightful place as World Hegemon. You’ve bled us white, you bastards. You’ve taken everything we had, not just from us, but from our fathers and from our father’s fathers and from our father’s father’s fathers. What we need you Laowai for, huh? What have Laowai’s ever done for us?

What? Oh, yes, concrete. And glass. But apart from that, what have Laowai’s…

What? Oh yes, baths and showers. Of course, and public sanitation. But, apart from that…

Okay, okay, and public libraries and parks and swimming pools and schools. And hospitals, naturally. What did you say? Oh well, wine and beer, of course wine and beer, that goes without saying, doesn’t it? And yes, street cleaners and paved roads, I’ll admit to that. Fair enough, really. But apart from that, what have…

Yes, all right, fair enough. Carrots and potatoes and apples and grapes. And cats, of course cats. We all love the taste of a good cat kebab, don’t we lads? But… What did you say? Literature? What are you talking about, literature? China has a proud history of literature, including four great novels.

Really? You can’t be serious? Shakespeare had dozens of books? And the West has thousands of great writers and poets? Are you serious? Well, yes, I’ll grant you that four novels does seems a little weak. Okay, so Laowai’s gave us proper literature, but apart from… Right, fair enough, and children’s books. Obviously. But, apart from that…

What do you mean a legal system? We still don’t have one of those, so we should be blaming the Laowai’s. And what are you talking about, peace? Stopping us from invading our neighbours is an interference in our internal affairs. Bloody and damn Laowai’s!

A working calendar? Really? Is that where it came from? The 24-hour day, too? Well I never… Hmmm, firearms? S’pose so. The wheel, really? Pottery? From Japan you say? Rice cultivation? Honestly? Weaving too, huh? Decent architecture and construction techniques and bridges and art and cities and public order and firemen and police and public entertainment… Okay, I’ll accept all that. Right, yes, bread. Obviously bread, it isn’t like we’d come up with something like bread on our own, is it? Knives and forks? Goes without saying, that does. Telephones and electricity and television and tall buildings too, I know. Hong Kong and Shanghai and Tsingdao and the Forbidden City? Laowai’s built those from scratch? Really? Why did they just give those places to us and walk away, then? Oh, I see. What was that? Religion and a system of counting!

All right… All right! But apart from concrete and glass and baths and showers and sanitation and public libraries and swimming pools and schools and hospitals and wine and beer and street cleaners and paved roads and carrots and potatoes and apples and grapes and cats and proper literature and children’s books and the beginnings of a legal system and an imposed peace and a working calendar and the 24-hour day and firearms and the wheel and pottery and rice cultivation and weaving and decent architecture and construction techniques and bridges and art and cities and public order and firemen and police and public entertainment and bread and knives and forks and telephones and electricity and television and tall buildings and Hong Kong and Shanghai and Tsingdao and the Forbidden City and religion and a system of counting… What have the Laowai’s ever done for us?

What? Oh, a proper language, yes… Shut up!

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74 Responses to “What have the Laowai’s ever done for us?”

  1. MyLaowai said

    Trousers? Shirts? Socks and shoes?

  2. Slap2tickle said

    Deodorant? What’s that?

  3. Chinese Netizen said

    There are only two countries on Earth: Zhong Guo and Wai Guo

    Therefore we Zhong Guo folk have someone to blame things on, laugh at, point fingers at, act superior to, mutter under our breaths about, grab and draw a crowd when we lose face after getting our asses kicked for being arrogant pricks and then demand money from…

  4. ZH said

    this is messed up.

    china got stuck about 300 years ago. they feel bad about it. but really, chinese literature, for one thing, goes back a couple thousand years, without any huge ‘dark ages’ gaps filled with nothing but christian navel-gazing insanity. they were writing sensible philosophy, mathematics, and engineering texts more than a thousand years ago, stuff we (laowais, no apostrophe) only caught up on about 3-400 years ago.

    china didn’t learn to make pottery from japan. that’s just stupid.

    and to think that the West has “imposed peace” on China is also kind of retarded.

    i guess all the other stuff is kind of true, though.

    • Chinese Netizen said

      China invented F1, NBA, Premier League Football and Super League Rugby 2,675 years ago, too.

    • MyLaowai said

      Haha! China got ‘stuck’ 300 years ago? Hells bells man! China never really got started, at least not once the initial thrill of having ‘invented’ fire and eating with two sticks wore off. They’ve been stuck in a cultural Stone Age ever since.

      And don’t start on literature or pottery or any of that other pink-spectacled nonsense. I stand by what I said, and fortunately my history books are not printed by the CCP Publishing House, as yours seem to be.

      Reality bites, bro.

      • ZH said

        you started on pottery and literature, didn’t you? i mean, weren’t chinese people writing novels, biographies, textbooks, and histories before most europeans even had written languages? and printing these with machines? i don’t see how this qualifies as a cultural stone age. and throwing in junk like “china got pottery from japan” makes it sound like your history books are printed in tokyo. or that you’re just pulling stuff out of your ass.

        maybe 300 years is too recent. 400? at what point did western culture become more advanced (in salient respects) than chinese? okay, 400 years ago, max. if I had been leading the field for all of human history, only to crap out and let someone else invent electricity and internal combustion engines, i’d probably get pretty defensive about it too. a little peace and understanding, bro.

      • MyLaowai said

        In reply:

        No; No; No; Jomon; Incorrect; Yes; No; Celtic / Basque (~4,000BC); You didn’t; Why?

        I think that about sums it up.

        Do you homework, Sparky, if you want to play in my sandpit.

      • Joe Unlie said

        Why should he do his homework; you clearly haven’t. If you want the straight dope, forget about what the Chinese publish- read this:

        http://www.nri.org.uk/science.html

        I suppose Cambridge University is under the control of the CCP, too…

      • MyLaowai said

        Cambridge under the control of the CCP? Not very likely.

        That said, consider the following names:

        Kim Philby
        Donald Maclean
        Guy Burgess
        Anthony Blunt
        John Cairncross
        Robert Stewart

        Communism had it’s hooks into Cambridge and Oxford.

      • Joe Unlie said

        Damn! Cool list. I should study these guys more…

    • MyLaowai said

      This would be the same Joseph Needham who was so beloved of the CCP and North Korea? The one who held, shall we say… ‘unorthodox’ views of history? The same chap who went on record as telling lies in support of international Communism?

      Say no more, lad.

      As I said, do your homework if you want to play here.

      • Joe Unlie said

        I’m aware of those, but- Cambridge University made him a fellow and sponsored his work. I’ve never heard anyone write a rounded refutation of him, either. Just because bastards love your work doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

      • MyLaowai said

        Hells bells man! His own biographer did that. Never mind that everything he published was word for word taken from Chinese ‘experts’, and most of his collaborators in his projects were openly or closet Commies.

        You are what is known as ‘half-educated’. This is the most dangerous kind.

      • Joe Unlie said

        “Hells bells man! His own biographer did that.”

        I’ve read “The Man Who Loved China”, and he never did anything of the sort. Needham’s work still remains unsurpassed. Likewise, spreading lies for International Communism is no worse than spreading them for International Capitalism- at the end of the day, they’re all pigs. And commies are more entertaining pigs, at least.

        “Never mind that everything he published was word for word taken from Chinese ‘experts’”

        That doesn’t mean they’re wrong.

        “most of his collaborators in his projects were openly or closet Commies.”

        That doesn’t mean they’re wrong either.

        Again, if you can’t accept the authority of CAMBRIDGE FUCKING UNIVERSITY, who can you accept? Show me a better historian with better credentials and academic standing, and I’ll believe you. But playing by your own rules, you’re the one who is losing here.

        “You are what is known as ‘half-educated’. This is the most dangerous kind.”

        Nope, you’re just not willing to accept when you’re beaten by your intellectual superiors, fenwai. ;)

        (Arguing with you is a most amusing way to spend my tea breaks, when I’ve read everything in this week’s AToL and The Economist… but really, you could make it a bit more difficult.)

  5. Slap2tickle said

    Chinese Netizen, I must dispute your claim about Chinese inventions, I’m sure China invented them more than 3,000 years ago, around 2,675 years ago China was sending unmanned probes to the moon to map it.

    • Chinese Netizen said

      They invented match fixing and ref bribing 2,500 years ago. They also invented sucking at football as a nation not too long afterwards.

      • Slap2tickle said

        I thought match fixing was a British invention, or was that football hoodlums?

      • Sinosceptic said

        Nope, sucking at football was invented by Scotland and exported to China by Wee Willy Wang from the Chinese takeaway in Edinburgh’s Grassmarket. Of course, they then ‘reinvented’ it and proudly claimed it as their own.

  6. Shanghaijed said

    we gave them padded bras – and those great “fuk me” stiletto boots that the hotties in Shanghai wear in winter

  7. justrecently said

    Another honeypot for unstable Chinese nationalists. You are going out of your way to keep them happy, Mother Teresa. I’m sure 0112337, by that or any other name, will express his heartfelt thanks very soon.

    Really? You can’t be serious? Shakespeare had dozens of books? And the West has thousands of great writers and poets?
    China invented Lu Xun. And Mao Zedong, another poet of worldwide recognition.

  8. Slap2tickle said

    Famous Chinese people seem to have a mortality rate attributed to them that can only be rivalled by viral pandemics.

  9. Scoobydo said

    The Chinese did actually invent the gun.

    A strange thing for such ‘peace loving’ people to do.

    They also invented the toothbrush in 1497.

    Other inventions are thin on the ground.

  10. MyLaowai said

    “They also invented the toothbrush in 1497.”

    I’ve heard the claim made before, naturally. It’s not strictly true, but hey, let’s give ‘em this one, shall we?

    Mind you, it isn’t like any Chinese person in history have ever actually used a toothbrush. Ever.

  11. 0112337 said

    On the topic of Laowai’s contributions in China, let me tell you all a true story about the job market there. You might be surprised. A friend of mine, who is Italian, got into her head that she wanted to take advantage of the booming economic development in China. She had an undergraduate degree in economics from a prominent university, but instead of landing the dream job in investment banking she wanted, she could only find an entry position at a mediocre firm. Unsatisfied, she started reading stories about China and about how Laowai kids who could not find better work in their home country got associate positions overseas purely because of their foreign expertise.

    So she applied to Beida or Peking University (PKU), the Yale of China, for the masters program in economics. Hoping that with a local masters degree, and fluency in many European languages and Chinese she would be able to do better. I told her she was crazy. No bank in China will ever hire a Laowai at the associate level for domestic business at this point. Imagine the awkwardness when she goes out to represent the firm and speaks to local CEOs and CFOs.

    Friend: “Ni Hao, Mr./Mrs. X, I am Y from Firm Z. Pleased to meet you….”

    CEO: “Ni Hao…”
    (thinking to himself): “Oh a Laowai…! Interesting, Firm Z must be out of their mind. They are hiring foreign greenhorns to do business now? This is an insult. Are they playing with me? What am I supposed to say to her? What is it like in Italy? Where are the best tourist attractions? What kind of pasta is the best? How can I find a really good bottle of Chianti?”

    But no, she wouldn’t listen and she went ahead with her plan and graduated with the masters. Nobody would hire her. Most Chinese firms have not reached the stage where they are looking abroad for expanding their operations.

    At last she found one, small bank A, as a secretary. Her job was to brief the associates at the office on the best European restaurants and wine stores in town. She is contemplating about going into the entertainment industry. Girls there make ALOT, so much so that after a year or two in some of the most prominent spas they could retire and drive ferraris.

    • Chinese Netizen said

      You forgot to tell your friend that in order to secure a decent job in a state owned entity such as the B of C, one may need to give a very large, heavy “Hong Bao” to the manager to help his decision making process…

      She could always become the white faced novelty whore for some up and coming Shanxi coal mine entrepreneur.

      • 0112337 said

        Chinese Netizen, you are not Chinese. Stop using the fake title. You don’t give a Hong Bao to your boss you Laowai. That’s an insult. They don’t need the Hong Bao. You give Hong Bao to your kids, the kids of your relatives, and to your younger relatives. This was the norm 10 years ago. Nowadays, if you are a girl, you go to bed with them.

        If you want to suck up to your boss with gifts you give cigarettes, good alcohol, food, or something else valuable if you are in the countryside. In the cities you give top French wine, Olympics entrance tickets, tickets to operas, concerts, shows…etc. I have even heard someone gave a Rolex before.

        “She could always become the white faced novelty whore for some up and coming Shanxi coal mine entrepreneur.”

        European whores are not a novelty in China anymore. There are a lot of Eastern Europeans and Russians working there. They make ALOT, on the same level as a banker and probably more. But their job really is heavy duty. Without going into the details, lets just say that their service is…um…worth that amount. Most sane, sensible girls would not do it.

        My friend was telling me that at one location he went to there were East Asians, Latin Americans, Europeans, and Africans. The last of which was purely for exotic appeal. The pimp at the brothel asked the Africans to dress in leopard skin and growl like tigresses.

        And yes, those Shanxi coal mine bosses have ALOT of money. Calling them millionaires would be an insult. Those guys usually buy entire trains of BMWs for personal use. One of my friends is a coal mine boss, for his father’s 69th birthday, he bought 16 brand new BMWs just so that he could use them to form the number “69″ on the front lawn. He gave the cars to his relatives after the celebration.

        People in the cities are very, very rich today. Don’t be fooled by the lower per capita wage rate in US dollars or euros they report in the western media. Yes, the conversion rate is low right now, but the buying power is the same. 1 yuan has more or less the same buying power in China as 1 dollar in the U.S.

      • Sinosceptic said

        “Chinese Netizen, you are not Chinese. Stop using the fake title” – Although this has nothing to do with me, I’m bored and so… You’re not a numerical sequence either, but you take great pride in attaching yourself to that nom de plume. If people had to really stick with ‘names’ that were fitting and appropriate then you’d be logging in and posting as ‘dumbass virgin’, but you don’t. Now, shut up kebab fodder!

      • Joe Unlie said

        “1 yuan has more or less the same buying power in China as 1 dollar in the U.S.”

        Not even close. A bowl of Lanzhou Lamian isn’t going to cost you $7 in the US, nor would a plate of baozi at a restaurant cost $12. Cheap shirts aren’t $70-100. If you pay $500 for a suit in the states, it won’t immediately fall apart (though I’ve got a closet full of 2000 kuai jobs that are made about as well as $2000 bespoke suits in New York, so that’s probably true enough.) A QQ doesn’t cost $40,000… etc. Shit, if that were true I’d import my car from the states… I could probably squeeze 150,000 RMB out of it here…

        Nope, 1 RMB only has the buying power of a dollar when you’re purchasing manual services… healthcare (if you’re comparing to costs in top urban areas in the US with no insurance)… or DVDs.

      • 0112337 said

        Ahh…you are right Joe. I haven’t gone back for about five years now and I am already falling behind on the times. Things change every year. There’s pretty serious inflation now. But to answer you, consider this.

        1. A bowl of Lanzhou Lamian is not going to cost you $7 in the states. That’s because the places that make them are runned by shady, illegal Chinese immigrants (mostly from Wenzhou or Fujian) in Chinatown trying hard to make a living. They don’t sell quality, they sell price, and they don’t pay tax since they don’t accept credit cards. But then again, how much do you pay for a Big Mac meal at Mickey D’s? Food prices are pretty close. The government there has tried hard to make sure of that.

        2. Don’t eat at those places that sell you baozi for only 12 Yuan. That’s too cheap, they are probably not clean.

        3. Ok, I agree with the shirts. As for the suits, you gotta to know where to get them. I bought some prime Valentinos for about 1,500 Kuai a while back. I was very happy. They were probably made from excess material from the factories. See, what they do is this. They tell the foreign firms they need 9/8 of the actual amount to make the suits for export. The firms send them all of the 9/8, they make the quota production and then pocket the 1/8 for internal revenue. They take it, make more of the same suits according to the original Italian designs, and then sell it in the domestic market at knock-off prices labeling either “Valentino” or something else. It’s a win-win situation at home. They make pure gain, and the consumer benefits. You and I get the 1000-2000 Yuan suits on Valentino’s expense.

      • 0112337 said

        Any random person you find on the streets of Beijing who’s not a migrant worker has at least 100,000 Yuan in his bank account.

        Kids in the cities today will tell their parents to not drive them to school if the family car is a Volkswagen Santana. They would rather take the city bus than be humiliated by their piers whose parents drive Audi A6s and A8s, BMWs, Cadillacs, or Mercedes.

        Yeah, like I said, what you Laowais don’t understand is that today’s China is exactly Britain at the beginning of the industrial revolution or America in the 20s. It’s the wild, wild East where the rich live and act like emperors and the poor are happy they have just enough to eat. Great tycoons and money families are in the making. Chinese versions of the Rothschild/Carnegie/Morgan success stories are happening right now. They are building their empires.

  12. MyLaowai said

    I’ll tell you another story about Laowai’s getting work in China, Mr. Archimedes.

    A bloke I know from Britain (which is the only nation that is Great, mark you) was hired for a job in China on the basis of a very impressive C.V. He signed the contract, sold up his home and assets, and moved out here. He was met at the airport by someone from the Chinese company holding up a sign with his name on it. He approached the Chinese person, gave his name, and thanked him for coming to pick him up. The Chinese person blanched, excused himself, made a few quick phone calls, and then returned to tell my friend that there had been a mistake, that there was no job available for him, and that he should go home.

    Of course, with hindsight, it was obvious to my friend that few Chinese companies want to have a black person working for them. Imagine the shame, right?

    You lot really take the cake when it comes to being bastards.

    • Joe Unlie said

      He apparently forgot the part about sending photos with resumes.

      Ah, this is another thing I like about China… no stupid *&*&! “equal opportunity” employment. They want a woman? They hire a woman. They want a man? They hire a man. They want a certain age? They make it a requirement. Race? Same deal…

      • MyLaowai said

        Yet for some reason you ain’t allowed to specify that you don’t want a Chinese person for any task. Nor are you allowed to hire a Tibetan or a Uighur, in preference to a Chinese.

        Your arse is for pooping, Sparky, not for talking out of. Learn the difference.

      • Joe Unlie said

        Actually, I’ve seen many job offers looking specifically for “foreign hires”, so that’s obviously not the case.

        And who wants to hire a Tibetan or a Uighur?

        Bah, you just don’t know how to enjoy being a bastard well enough…

      • MyLaowai said

        “And who wants to hire a Tibetan or a Uighur?”

        I do. Actually, I prefer anyone to a Han. That’s one of the ways we keep theft and corruption to a minimum.

      • Joe Unlie said

        What? You want to hire people who are THE BEST at theft and corruption! That’s how you learn and up your game at it, old chap!

        Uighur and Tibetans suck at it. I came to China to learn from the masters.

    • 0112337 said

      MyLaowai,

      In your friend’s case, it’s probably because the company had a specific purpose in mind. Because of the vast pool of highly qualified labor force, firms in China can choose what or who they want largely without restraints. You sound like as if you are some kind of business owner in China so you should know.

      The company probably wanted to hire a white Briton for some specific purpose. Take the advertising industry for example. Up to about 5 years ago, Chinese companies like to hire white people and dress them up like scientists to sell the companies’ stuff on TV. This is tapping into the people’s ignorance. Since most Chinese (until 5-2 years ago) never went abroad, they have no idea what Europe or America is like. They always thought that Europe and America were supposed to be technologically advanced. Hence, having a Laowai scientist approving the domestic product had some kind of psychological shock appeal.

      Africans and black people, on the other hand, are associated with the jungle. Again, up to 5-2 years ago, many Chinese people still think that much of Africa is the jungle. When they hear the word “African”, they think of savages in lion skin chasing after zebras and giraffes. It doesn’t matter if this black guy is from the heartland or Europeanized in England, the stereotype still remains.

      That’s why they wouldn’t hire the African for that specific role I mentioned. Chinese firms today are much more profit oriented than racist. They don’t care if the guy is black, white, red, or blue. As long as he could earn lots of money for the firm they would hire him. On the other hand, he would not be hired if there’s even a slight chance he would lose money for the firm.

  13. Slap2tickle said

    With no disrespect to MyLaowai’s friend, but all any of us can really do here is something in entertainment, because that’s what they think of us foreigners no matter where we come from or the colour of our skin, something to point, shout at and laugh at. It makes the Chinese feel better to belittle others because of their own inadequacies.

  14. justrecently said

    Joe is good evidence that you don’t need to be Chinese to be a fenqing.

  15. MyLaowai said

    ‘Joe’ my boy, by your own admission you are a young man with limited education from a hick town, who came to China because it was your best prospect for employment. That’s fine with me. You also proudly claim to be both amoral and a supporter of Communism – again, that’s your choice.

    But, by your own admission, you have very little knowledge of China and the Chinese, having spent very little time here.

    You are someone who has an opinion, and you are welcome to bring that opinion to this forum, no matter how misguided or offensive others may find it. But for your own sake, please do be advised that many of the regular posters here have considerably more experience in business and with China than you do. I know for a fact that a handful of my regulars here have nearly a hundred years of combined “China experience’ between them. That counts for something.

    I’m not saying that you, or any other person teaching ‘oral English’, is unqualified to speak here. What I am saying is that you would be well advised to listen when your elders are speaking, instead of giving it the verbal as a matter of reflex. Brash arrogance is not a charming quality in the young, nor is loud-mouthed ignorance.

    You have a chance to expand your knowledge. Don’t waste it on expounding your ignorance.

    • Joe Unlie said

      As I said in a previous post, I’m not an English teacher; and frankly, you can’t do much to expand my knowledge. I may be from a hick town, but I have a BA and an MA from decent universities in the states, and am probably the most well-read person I know in my age group; I’m hardly of limited education. If I want to heckle, I’ll come here- if I want to expand my knowledge, I’ll learn from my employers, spend time with other long time expats, or read blogs like The China Beat, Peking Duck, or other works by experienced China hands with more sympathy, or books by authors like Peter Hessler, John Pomfret, Mark Leonard, Robert Lawrence Kuhn, et. al. None of the aforementioned people feel the need to hate everything about their host country or bite the hand that feeds them- and none of them are without criticisms. Pandalickers? Hardly. Yet pretty much none of the long time expats I know agree with what you’re saying here, and many whom I’ve shown this blog to think that you’re nothing less than an arrogant asshole.

      So no, you don’t get to heckle and then ask me to play nice- this web site is apparently devoted to bringing the hate, whereas there are many others that are busy shedding light. You have nothing to teach. I’ve got a world of better teachers for that.

      Anyway, it’s fun to argue with you, because I have an unpopular opinion, and I like to state it just because it sets people off. Yet that’s the same thing you’re doing here. You shouldn’t get angry when someone decides to come by and throw it back at you. That’s why you’re gonna draw trolls.

  16. MyLaowai said

    What can I say? I’m just a big ol’ softie, at heart.

  17. Joe Unlie said

    Anyway, what really bothers me is that the foreign community seems to present two options when it comes to dealing with China:
    1) Oppose the Chinese at every step
    2) Cuddle up to the Chinese and play poodle.

    Guys, we used to run Shanghai. If we’d all collaborate and beat the Chinkies at their own fucking game, we could run this place again. But we’ve lost the ruthlessness; either we kiss up to the chinkie massa, or we smugly show off our moral superiority. Let’s get together and TAKE BACK OUR FUCKING CITY! Why should we let them boss us around, when we could boss them around?

    • 0112337 said

      Son, you are in China, OUR turf. If we wanted, we can lynch all of you petty crackas’ confederate country style right there and there is nuthin’ y’all government can do ab’t it. How much is the great United Villages of America in debt to China now? Who is in control of congress now along with the Jews? We got y’all by the pocketbooks, where it hurts the most…lol…

      Remember the British Paki that got shot for smuggling heroin? It could be you. We don’t offer protection for foreign assholes. You are not equal before the law. In fact, the police would probably encourage hate crimes. They can’t handle all of you animals as it is.

      What do you say we teach the kind Chinese people of Shanghai a little something about your villages’ confederate history huh? Juice it up with some nice pictures of good ol’ southern lynchings, with them big, thick, burnin’ crosses and hanging field niggers for the public amusement and entertainment of all the petty, in-bred farmers? Good folks who can’t stop fucking their sisters? What do you say we have them reenact it on you huh? Wouldn’t that make you feel right at home…

      Now you just run along now boy…try and scratch out a living like the poor inbred Yank that you are and don’t talk about things you don’t understand.

      • Joe Unlie said

        Nope, I’m not in China (god forbid!), I’m in Shanghai. This is Waiguoren turf. We owned this land until Mao came and ruined the party, and if we weren’t such idiots we’d have taken it back by now.

    • Sinosceptic said

      Joe – you just came across and finally proved to me that you are a bigger (racist) asshole than 0112337 and that takes some doing. At least he sounds educated and (reasonably) stable, although he slipped and lowered himself to your low-life standards and proved he is a real Chinese with his use of the word ‘Paki’.

      • Joe Unlie said

        How am I doing anything our host doesn’t do? He’s got an entire blog devoted to hating the Chinese! I just dropped a comment- telling him to put up or shut up. ;)

      • 0112337 said

        Pakistanis and Chinese peoples are good friends. Pakistanis who go to England and then come back with 9 KILOS of heroin is a stupid, bold, Paki who clearly lost his mind after being europeanized.

        Yes, shoot him. I would shoot him myself. If any of you want to join the ranks, I would happily shoot you too if I had the chance.

        为民除害

        Mr. Fenwai the Highlander,

        Yes, you are right. Five years in the U.S. is too long. I am becoming a bit of a racist myself now. The American disease is spreading onto me.

      • Sinosceptic said

        @ the dumbass numerical sequence – MY FKN ARSE!!! I’ve travelled a lot of the world and without a shadow of a doubt, the Chinese people in general, are the most racist people I’ve EVER met, and not to forget the growing mob of supremacists. You Sir are an idiot, and a naive one at that!

    • justrecently said

      I might come back to the title of this post: What have the Laowais ever Done for Us? For one, one of them is providing the Chinese people with this benign blog (it takes some resources to read it from China, of course). That’s a friendly service, and nothing hateful. Besides, it’s made for people like you, too, Joe. Hopefully, you can read it, and profit from it personally during your life in China, or Shanghai.
      On the other hand, I have little hope at that. Once 0112337 and you realized that this isn’t trash after all, but premium internet content, you wouldn’t feel attracted to it any more.

      • 0112337 said

        Mr. linear thinking Nazi,

        Are you really that German to believe Chinese people today don’t know what’s going on in their country? That they are brainwashed and need YOU Europeans to save them, to see the light? Why do you think our country is your Nazi Germany during the 30s and 40s? Where did you see the parallel?! The military parades? The neat, disciplined, goose-stepping soldiers? Hu Jintao standing on Tiananmen giving the speech? The angry outbursts of fenqings on cyberspace? Just because my country is getting stronger doesn’t mean we will follow your nation’s barbaric path in seeking lebensraum. A strong military does not equate to foreign invasion. That’s the GERMAN solution not the Chinese one.

        Fool, everybody in China knows what’s going on. The young and the old. If you have ever been to China or if you can read Chinese you will realize that although we criticize our country on every level, all the time, we will NEVER allow a foreigner to criticize our homeland. To us, you Laowais will always be guests. We compete in giving our best and most valuable things to you when you come to us as a sign of hospitality…so as to not lose face among our piers. But if you criticize us, don’t be surprised that we curse back at you. And if you are like the petty Americans who tries to humiliate us or split our country, we will DESTROY you by all means.

        When you visit another person’s house, you do not curse at your host, criticize his taste in furniture or decorations, spread rumors about/sleep with the man’s wife/the wife’s husband…that shows your poor education and lowly character. If you don’t like him or his house, you can leave and not ever talk to him again. That is your right. But you have no right to try and change him or his house. If you do, he has every right to curse at you (if he is a nice person), or DESTROY you.

      • Scoobydo said

        “We compete in giving our best and most valuable things to you when you come to us as a sign of hospitality…

        0112337″

        WTF?

        Is this some sort of parallel universe China that this chap is referring to?

        Its quite unlike the real one.

      • MyLaowai said

        Phlegm – the gift that keeps on giving.

  18. Sun Yat-Sen said

    0112337′s use of his overly contracted, pseudo American English just shows how uncomfortable he feels as a Chinese and just how much he would have liked to be born an American.

    • Sinosceptic said

      Snorts and Chuckles.

    • Scoobydo said

      Didn’t they have a Chinese website a few year ago that asked Chinese people if they could choose, would they choose to be born Chinese?

      97% of Chinese people wouldn’t choose to have been born Chinese.

      It got pulled quickly by the CCP.

      Chinese people are under no illusions as to what China is.

      Its only natural that young Chinese males can’t resist the urge to defend China.

      Its also natural that they can’t get out fast enough.

    • 0112337 said

      If I don’t write in his village talk, could our friend average Joe the American cowboy understand? Guys, you have to keep in mind that most Americans can barely read. They are basically a mob of wild, ignorant, self-interested, semi-illiterate, petty, agressive farmers.

      Scoobydog, you don’t understand China at all.

    • Scoobydo said

      “Scoobydog, you don’t understand China at all.”

      I understand you.

  19. Kurlis said

    This blog is very informative and educational.

    Thanks everyone for posting.

  20. MyLaowai said

    Did you know that the Olmec invented the compass 1,400 to 1000 BC?

  21. MyLaowai said

    Of course, to be fair, the Chinese claim to have invented fire in the Middle Ordovician period.

    • Scoobydo said

      I once knew a Chinese man who claimed that the Chinese had invented chairs.

      • MyLaowai said

        I’ve heard the same claim. Odd, considering that the vast majority of Chinese prefer to squat on their haunches. It’s a long-held truism that the best way of knowing whether or not you’ve been in China too long, is when the footprints on the toilet seat match your own shoes.

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