Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

The Axe Wound Trophy

Posted by MyLaowai on Thursday, May 27, 2010

There’s a lot of hand-wringing being done in the press over the fact that a few useless and emotionally crippled losers topped themselves down in Shenzhen recently. It seems that it’s becoming a bit of a fashion statement for Foxconn employees to leap off tall buildings in a single bound, and the usual bleeding hearts and pinko muppets have all taken to bleating about the inherent unfairness of society, whatever the hell that means.

MyLaowai has another take on the whole situation, and it goes something like this: Harden the fuck up.

Tsinghua University social science professor Guo Yuhua and eight sociologists criticised Foxconn in an open letter last week, saying a lack of basic human rights was the reason behind the suicides.

Really? Is that a fact, Mister Smarty-Arse Professor? Well if a lack of basic human rights leads to suicide, then why haven’t 1.4 billion other fucktards not taken long-overdue walks off short fucking piers this week? Huh? I’ll tell you why, genius: it’s because you’re talking out of your arse. The reason these blokes took the quick route to the ground floor was because they were mentally weak and probably insane.

“[Manufacturers] use the term `migrant workers’ as an excuse and pay them monthly salaries much lower than the average of underdeveloped countries, forcing them to leave their hometowns and families behind, and live a struggling life without family care and dignity,” the letter said.

Do me a favour, Sparky, shut up. Just shut up. All of us grown-ups here in China (by which I am referring to the expatriate community, naturally) have left our home towns and families behind. We all live a struggling life without family care and what’s worse, we are surrounded on all sides by a stinking barbarian horde. And as for the low salaries, well here’s another newsflash – these lily-livered jellyfish-spined misfits probably aren’t worth what they got, regardless of how low it is. Holy Crybaby Batman! If it’s that tough, nothing and nobody is stopping them from leaving their poorly paid jobs and going back to their precious home town and families.

The real problem here, is that China is filled with the emotionally weak and crippled dregs of a 2,300-year selective breeding programme designed to weed out anyone with balls, backbones, or brains. The result is what we see around us all day, every day. If a few of these rejects decide to stop wasting our oxygen, then that’s just fine with me. There’s no soul-searching required. They’ve done us all a favour by removing their defective genes from the local gene puddle.

So, please, stop with the whining already. If these guys want to push up daisies, let them. Hell, I’ll even come down there and push the ones who are a bit undecided. I’d be happy to lob their families over the parapet, too. Line ‘em all up, I say.

These weaklings don’t leave empty-handed, however, because they take with them into the afterlife the coveted Axe Wound Trophy, awarded to the useless wastrels who have done most in the service of mediocrity.

On the other hand, at least now they won’t be making as many stupid iPhones. Which is encouraging.

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45 Responses to “The Axe Wound Trophy”

  1. Chinese Netizen said

    Word.

  2. dc said

    Agreed. What people need to remember is that Foxconn has about half a million employees. Half a million. That works out at a rate of about 2 suicides per 100,000. The suicide rate for China is 14 per 100,000 and for the US its 11 per 100,000. So its really not that big of a deal. Hell, my company has 5000 employees. If I killed myself tomorrow then my company would have a ten times higher suicide rate than Foxconn. Get some perspective people!

  3. Manbeast said

    If you don’t like your job – QUIT
    If you don’t like your gf/bf – DUMP EM
    If your bf/gf dumps you – GO FUCK A WHORE

    MAN UP PEOPLE

  4. Josef Fritzl said

    breeding programme designed to weed out anyone with balls, backbones, or brains.

    Indeed, now they’re only significantly smarter, stronger, bigger dicked and braver than whites, instead of astronomically so.

    • Slap2tickle said

      I love it when Chinese people with inferiority complexes come on and try to make themselves feel better, but unfortunately it gets boring after the first few posts. I could go on forever with a huge list about all the reasons you’re wrong, but then I’d be wasting my time and intellect. You’re getting a little repetitive now Josef, do you have anything new to add that’s worthy of a read?

      • Josef Fritzl said

        Except you can’t. Keep dreaming about the Chinese having an inferiority complex- at best, they don’t even give a shit about you.

        It’s already scientific fact that the Chinese have much higher IQs, have a superior society, history and culture.

        That and white men have tiny cocks.

        A study published in the September 1996 Journal of Urology concluded that average erect length was 12.9 cm (5.08 in) (measured by staff).[6] The purpose of the study was to “provide guidelines of penile length and circumference to assist in counseling patients considering penile augmentation.” Erection was pharmacologically induced in 80 physically normal American men (varying ethnicity, average age 54). It was concluded: “Neither patient age nor size of the flaccid penis accurately predicted erectile length.”

        Hahahahahahahahahahaha

        So really now if the Chinese were the ones with the inferiority complex why aren’t any Chinese people making blogs shit talking white retards like yourself?

        And we all know you’re fucking cowards. Locking your daughters up and raping them for decades, for fuck’s sake. That isn’t even human, you sick freaks.

        You’re so goddamn inbred and ugly too, it’s amazing.

        I can spam you hundreds of pages proving that whites are genetically inferior trash. Lets start with this one:

        http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/hematologic/leukemia/statistics/race.htm

        Whites have the highest rates of leukemia. The Chinese the lowest. Want to go on?

        How about diabetes, AIDS, Alzheimer’s, life expectancy, birth defects, Parkinson’s, multiple sclerosis? The same story, you chimp.

        Now go get cancer and die like a good subhuman.

      • Slap2tickle said

        I like that you haven’t included the fact that China has had the largest explosion in Hep, AIDS and Syphilis since the 1950’s than any other country in the world. As for cancer, I’m sure if I continue living in China that there will be a strong possibility that I’ll get it, after all the milk has plastic, the meat has been pumped full of steroids and hormones, the vegetables washed and sprayed with poison and the BBQ meat is anything but mutton, but once again it would be a waste of my time to go through everything. It’s said that people who have an obsession with penis sizes are the ones trying to compensate for something that they don’t have, I don’t see any of the laowai here rambling on about their members every other post. Mate you really need some time out, I suggest that you visit a therapist.

      • Josef Fritzl said

        I don’t see any of the laowai here rambling on about their members every other post.

        More like every single post. There are at least several hundred on this blog alone.

        Oh yeah greatest “explosion” of AIDS, because it went from nearly nonexistent to .01% of the population, once foreigners started fucking the least attractive whores in the Shanghai/Guangzhou brothels.

        Once all white males in China are summarily executed, the rate will drop again.

      • Slap2tickle said

        I think you’re mixing foreigners up with migrant workers.

      • Josef Fritzl said

        Nope, foreigners are the ones spreading AIDS. White men tend to go for the assholes of Southeast Asian boys because that’s about the thing that will “feel” them, aside from cockroaches.

        Then these boys spread AIDS to illegal Southeast Asian whores in Yunnan, or share needles with foreign drug addicts, who give these needles to Uighur separatists, who stab random Han Chinese.

        That’s how AIDS came to China and continues to spread.

    • DaBizarre said

      How’s that black plague thing going anyway sonny? I mean, surely now that you’ve Ripoffed and Duplicated (R&D with Chinese characteristics) the space program, you significantly superior whores can surely overcome a little disease we eradicated oh .. hundreds of years ago.

      Oh – and congrats on the Chinese finally being able to win a single track and field event at the Olympics – for such strong, healthy people your *cough* track record aint so crash hot. A T H L E T I C S – great word.

      • Josef Fritzl said

        China crushed the US at the last Summer Olympics with a much, much, much lower training budget. Despite the fact that whites are doping, cheating, obsessed whores.

        If you remove all the non-whites from America’s “medal count”, they’d be even further humiliated.

        As for eradicating AIDS hundreds of years ago, L O L

        Not only do you have a higher rate of infection, you have a higher rate of death when you actually have the disease. This proves you are mentally retarded, delusional, and a liar.

        Go on with your routine of pretending you sleep with supermodels, pretending that your cock isn’t the tiniest, most useless waste of flesh in the world next to your brain, and that you are anything but a ungrateful, cowardly English teacher probably using Chinese goodwill to molest children in some rural minority village.

        Luckily for us, statistics say you’ll be getting some kind of cancer, or AIDS, or die of diabetes, or have your brain shrivel up due to Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s or some other disease that whites disproportionately face. When that happens, I hope you have a slow and painful death- and while you’re dying alone in a pool of your own vomit, a bitter, rageful and uneducated virgin, my words will ring through your little skull and chase you down into the same circle of hell where your ugly whore mother and drunk, worthless, inbred father will be waiting :)

  5. Untermensch said

    Haha I just love this site!

    Keep dreaming Jozef. Why do the cutest Chinese girls pick a foreigner over a sweaty, smelly, spitting, skinny piece of crap like your self?

    Oh and 1 in every 10 Chinese adults has diabetes.

    • Josef Fritzl said

      Never seen a good looking Chinese girl with a foreigner. With your low IQs and lack of culture it’s no surprise you’d think dark skinned, big nostriled Southeast Asian types are attractive.

      Then again whites have never been known for their taste… with all their sex with their daughters and with farm animals and all that.

      • Chinese Netizen said

        @Josef: What foreigners might you be alluding to? I’ve seen plenty of Japanese, Taiwanese, Hong Kongers and Koreans with some of the hottest crumpets in China that’ll sell their soul and mother for a residence in a posh serviced apartment, two way passes to a weekend shopping in Hong Kong and the use of a car once in a while.

        Allow me to end this with a haughty laugh like yours since I too think I am so funny…

        hahahahahahahaha

      • DaBizarre said

        It all must boil down to the fact that us whiteys don’t date the buck-toothed, bow-legged, boggle-eyed genetic misfits that you consider beautiful…

        Quite frankly, most of the babes I have bedded here would easily be finalists at any western beauty pageant.

      • Josef Fritzl said

        Quite frankly, most of the babes I have bedded here would easily be finalists at any western beauty pageant.

        …for the retarded

        and no, I have seen these “babes”. They are dark-skinned, ugly, wide nostriled. Definite Southeast Asian imports.

        Your tiny flaccid dick must feel bigger when you’re with them.

  6. justrecently said

    Except you can’t. Keep dreaming about the Chinese having an inferiority complex- at best, they don’t even give a shit about you. ……..
    Word count: 263. The longest comment out of seven here.

  7. Charlie_sierra said

    Careful on this one dude. This story is complex. I don’t wish death on any Chinese factory worker. Insert whatever joke you have to, and there are many, but that one’s serious. My iPhone rocks.

    Are we seriously dragging out the penis wars? You can be dumb. You can also have a small dick. It’s really bad if you’re both. Celebrate whatever talents you do have with whoever the hell will put up with you.

    On a final note, vodka infusions are awesome.

    • MyLaowai said

      Agreed except for the part about iPhone’s being awesome. Try vodka infused with honey; my recipe is a closely-guarded secret, but because we are friends…

      1-1/2 cup honey (1cup = 250mL) (coffee flower honey is fantastic)
      2/3 cup water
      1 vanilla bean (1 tsp. vanilla extract otherwise)
      1/4 tsp. nutmeg
      8 sticks cinnamon (4 large sticks)
      2 whole cloves
      3 strips lemon peel, with the wax washed off
      1 bottle vodka

      1. Bring the water and honey to a boil and carefully remove the foam.
      2. add the cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla stick and orange peel.
      3. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes
      4. remove from the heat and set aside for 30 minutes
      5. bring back to a boil and slowly add the vodka ** be very careful here **
      6. remove and strain through a fine muslin or paper filter and bottle.
      7. leave the bottle for a week in a cool, dark place for the sediment to settle. Siphon off the clear liquid

      Good heated like sake, good over ice, an all-round great Christmas drink.

      • 0112337 said

        hey, I just tried making this today. It’s quite good actually….

        Thanks for the recipe. Please feel free to post other good ones.

  8. 0112337 said

    My god, you fools are RIDICULOUS. No wonder you fail at whatever you are doing and come here to sulk. Why are you all arguing over nonsense with a Chinese teenager who is probably living abroad and likely under much pressure from local xenophobia?

    Are you all teenagers like him?

    • Scoobydo said

      More likley he is stressed out that he can’t get a girlfriend.

      Still I have noticed that Chinese men tend to be more laid back about women in comparison to Western men.

      Is that due to a lack of sex drive (1.3 Billion people would suggest otherwise) or a product of so many Chinese whores who are willing to wrap their ankles around their ears for a surprisingly small sum of money?

      Don’t get me wrong. I used to live in a street in Guangzhou which was whore grand central at various times, which I quite simply thought was a beautiful thing.

      Anyway, “Josef Fritzl” is quite likely young and skint.

      As even the nice girls say in Guangdong “No money no talk”.

      • Josef Fritzl said

        It’s more due to the fact that the vast majority of Chinese women will marry one Chinese man, while Western women spread their legs for dogs, objects, and all sorts of non-whites. They’d also all rather fuck one rich guy than some loser like you, which you resent.

    • Slap2tickle said

      He’s definitely confused with his life, Josef, if you pay somebody enough they might pretend to be your friend, or alternatively you can find a virtual friend if you haven’t already.

  9. Scoobydo said

    “Western women spread their legs for dogs, objects, and all sorts of non-whites”

    But not for you matey, hence the bitterness?

    Besides, I don’t know much about you but you certainly are not an engineer. Well perhaps a Chinese engineer. Women (if they are that way inclined) don’t spread their legs for dogs, they do it, well, ‘doggy style’.

  10. justrecently said

    On a different note, where did you leave your clustrmap, Mylaowai? (snickers)

  11. S said

    Sorry to intrude, Mr JR Mitzscherlich.

    If you are really getting ‘doggy style’ from real German women (or men – we don’t discriminate against ‘homosexualist’), then why did you still married your cat?

  12. justrecently said

    Don’t worry, stoogie. Your comment is incoherent, but no intrusion.

  13. S said

    you don’t find questions about your immoral behaviour intrusive ?

  14. justrecently said

    Oh stoogie! Why should I find your allegations intrusive? You might suggest just as well that I’m doing dogs – and it would be just another silly allegation. The point is that your guesswork doesn’t tell anything about others, but possibly something about you.
    No, I don’t find your questions intrusive.

  15. s said

    Mr Mitzscherlich

    It wasn’t my allegations, it was all over the papers and there was no suggestion that you do do dogs.

    Could it be that the reason you don’t feel intruded is beause you are not ashamed nor believed your own behaviour immoral ?

  16. justrecently said

    My name is JR.

  17. s said

    Mr JR Mitzscherlich ?

  18. justrecently said

    No. Just Recently. And the original source you are referring to is a tabloid. From the same source: a Korean marries his comfort cushion, and a Japanese marries an avatar girl.

    What Chinese people marry is usually a state secret.

  19. S said

    Germans to prove to the world they don’t marry their cat — not very convincing.

    Chinese people marry their opposite sex .. too boring to appear on tabloids or German papers.

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