Happy America Day, Or Something
Posted by MyLaowai on Sunday, July 4, 2010
How have you been? Your mother and I often worry about you, in fact we have done ever since you threw your toys out of the pram and left back in 1776 over what was, let’s face it, a fairly minor incident. Something to do with not liking your tea, as I recall. Still, you’ve made do with a rather dreary imitation of coffee since then and, as you seem to enjoy it, I guess that’s what counts.
I heard you were to play in a soccer tournament, congratulations. I’m not sure exactly when it is, but if you play sport the same way as you play war – wait until half time, see which team is winning, and then join in on their side – then we all have no doubts you’ll do wonderfully!
Auntie Popadopalopalopalopalous has been a bit unwell recently, it seems she followed the advice of a doctor who turned out to be a bit of a snake-oil salesman, but fortunately she’s amongst people who care about others and we’re sure she’ll pull through eventually.
Anyway, we hope you are well and that adolescence isn’t treating you too unkindly. Any time you need some advice from your older brothers and sisters, or from your parents, please do feel free to write. And remember to play nicely with the Q’uran children – their parents are your landlords, after all. Oh, and before I forget, your mother has asked me to remind you to wash your hands after playing with little Wang Xiangsheng – you know what a dirty boy he is!
Right then, must dash. Here’s your present – unwrap it when you get home. Happy birthday, America. Grow up soon.