Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

Liu Lin: Twat

Posted by MyLaowai on Wednesday, June 6, 2012

This one is darned good. Global Times, that paragon of Communisticalness, is reporting on a “foreign video game that vilifies China”. Go and read all about it here [http://www.globaltimes.cn/NEWS/tabid/99/ID/708499/Foreign-video-game-vilifies-China.aspx].

Well hey, it’s been about a week since all the Chinese people were offended by something or someone foreign. The wanker who is bleating the loudest, is some ugly little gobshite named Liu Lin. Seriously, is there anyone at all in China who doesn’t have a name that sounds like a bucket being kicked down a flight of stairs? Anyway, Liu ‘tiny penis’ Lin says the game that has offended him so much presents a China in ruins and negatively portrays its people. “I can’t bear it, especially the vicious vilifying of our people. They must be taught a lesson”, he whined.

The game is set in Shanghai, and depicts the city as a slum with shabby and sordid streets. Chinese people in the game are characterized as cowardly and timid, and a player’s objective is to kill them.

I wish I had invented this game. Educational and morally correct in every way, and entertaining as well – what’s not to like? You can download the demo for free here [www.kaneandlynch.com]. I’m downloading it as I write this, in between throwing pieces of trash at the coolies on the factory floor.

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9 Responses to “Liu Lin: Twat”

  1. Jeff said

    If there are any pommy bastards selling “superfunds” to expats in stupid bars pissing my money up the wall in this game I’ll pay double!

  2. justrecently said

    It was actually a CCP fan club in Silicon Valley (not in Denmark and Japan) who made this game. It is meant to remember past bitterness (in Old China) to cherish the great achievements made under the correct leadership of the CCP. (A small struggle session preceded the project, and ninety per cent of the staff were fired. Hidden Harmonies provided replacements.

    What a pity that the Global Times is always so defensive and can’t cherish the heartfelt acclaim from near and far.

    Anyway, the patriotic lawyer is targeting the wrong game – it is Smotherland now Veri Respeckted, and not Kane & Lynch.

  3. The real question is if the game is realistic ie, can we shit on the streets, hike our shirts over fat bellies, beat our spouses and trample pregnant women to get on the subway? If not then I see little cultural value in the product and agree that it does not adequately portray the spirit of China.

  4. daisy jiang said

    stupid foreigner,we hate you very much,want kill you!you hurt feelings of chinese people in this stupid game!and also you lie,notz honest6 like us chinese!china is big power in world ,you not show chinese right like in this stupid game !is lie! chinese are leaders and strong and rich and big ciliation of WORLD the best and best Number one!!! all world see now! CHINA STRONG!!!! POWER CHINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!the strong chinese!china better than you stupid foreigners!! we take you very soon!! belong to china!give the civilzation to you from CHINA!!and shanghai is best modern super city of the world!all people know!very modern!you lie foreigner,we kill you all and you the go out of china!!!

    • MyLaowai said

      Having a quiet day on the boss’s time, are we?

      Go back to work folding paperclips, there’s a good girl.

    • Jeff said

      Hello Daisy,
      Don’t think anything of it, there are similar games with peoples other than Chinese running around on the computer screen.
      Don’t be so sensitive or we might think you are English (Pommy bastards) lol

  5. jeff said

    Well I had to see for myself so I got a full copy of this game and installed it. what can I say?…At first I was shocked!
    then I thought…”fun!”
    .
    .
    when I realised I could shoot the stinky tofu man (they mix their shit with tofu and sell it on the street) I was thoroughly delighted. I will never be good at this game as I spend too much time shooting the stinky tofu man and the Mengniu executive.
    the only thing that destroys the almost Shanghai like atmosphere in this game- no electric scooters running red lights in the game!

  6. Jeff said

    THIS GaMe iS mOre fun than driving a Shanghai Taxi while high on Xtal Meth!
    hah hah!
    Only one thing missing …Skinny armed strumpets mitzing around outside Xin Tian Di !

    what we need to do is up the anti – ROBO-LAOWAI GAME ……
    “NOw I’d buy that for a dollar!”
    “your move creep!”
    “NOT 3 NOT 4!”
    ” GIVE YOU COLOUR TO SEE SEE!”
    “YOUR GRANDMOTHERS BEAR! (BEAVER?)”
    “TMDB!”
    “NIU_X!” OR “NIUBI”

    It would be very very “cow’s vagina” wouldn’t it wot old chap?

    prime directives
    1. enforce traffic law.
    2. eliminate those who cannot make sandwiches, waste time at work, smile and say yes to non boolean questions.
    3. Shoot in the head anyone who cooks sells or eats smelly TOFU
    4. Do not shoot me if I’m drunk or silly enough to do 3. just to get a decent BJ around here.

  7. vanoc1 said

    heh heh heh, my work here is done…. (Gowron). Fuck you China…. fuck you. It was certainly my pleasure directing your guys to this therapudic game.

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