Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

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Why?

Posted by MyLaowai on Saturday, September 15, 2012

What the fuck is it with little towels, Chinese people? Why do you all seem to have this irresistible urge to carry small towels, often tied around your wrists? It’s a mystery to me, it really is. A friend suggested that little towels were a reflection of the dick sizes of the people who have them, but he can’t be right, because then we’d be talking about what is generally referred to as ‘lint’. Another friend suggested that you Chinese needed them to wipe the sweat from your brow, but that can’t be it either, as no one has ever observed any of you working hard enough to break into a sweat. And we know you don’t use them as handkerchiefs, because if you don’t clear your noses with a snort onto the street, then you excavate the contents of your skull with your fingers (is this what you mean by ‘brain drain’?) So what is it? I really, really would like to know.

And while we’re on the subject of things I’d like to know, why is it you are never without little plastic bags of food? Well, I use the word ‘food’, but this is really stretching the definition of the word to it’s fullest possible extent. At any rate, for the sake of moving the discussion forwards and all the rest of that corporate bullshit, let us assume on this occasion that the stuff you are forever putting into your gaping maws is food, and then you can address the larger issue of why? Why? WHY? It cannot be that you are hungry, can it? Do you really need to always be carrying this stuff around in little plastic bags in case you are faced with a natural disaster or emergency, like not having eaten for forty minutes, for example? Mrs MyLaowai will start eating snacks even as the pizza delivery guy is knocking on the door, and when questioned, will state that she is starving. Starving? When the pizza delivery guy is knocking at the door? Seriously? She can’t wait fifteen seconds longer (and bear in mind, it’s been a less than a quarter of an hour since she last ate)? I’ve seen Chinese people cry when forced to delay a lunch break for fifteen minutes, and quite frankly, that’s worse than pathetic. What is with you lot and food?

Timekeeping, that’s another little point I should like clarification on. More precisely, your complete and utter lack of any ability to keep time. Hey, I know the Spanish are very consistently late to the point of tomorrow, and the Italians to the point of never, but they are aware of this and consider it a great freedom (yet remain puzzled as to why their economies are in the toilet, but that’s another subject altogether). I am also (painfully) aware of the German obsession with being precisely on time to the nanosecond, even when all they will do when they arrive is scratch their balls and be unhelpful, but again this is something of which they are aware. You Chinese are just not aware of time at all. Watches are just expensive jewellery for you, aren’t they? Even your horrible, grating language seems to have no tenses – everything is always “now”, without any conception of what happened before or what will happen next. I have never – never – had a Chinese arrive on time for anything. Hell, most times you people don’t even arrive at the right place, let alone the right time. I have a theory about this, that you are unaware of a thing we Laowai refer to as ‘consequences’. Consequences means that if you do something, something else might happen. A good example would be balancing my expensive crockery and crystal in a precarious pile (after failing to wash it properly), and then being surprised at the expensive-sounding noise coming from the kitchen twenty minutes later, and being further surprised – staggered, even – at the mess you see the next time you walk past the kitchen, and even later expressing shock at the cuts that have magically appeared on the feet of the next person to walk into the kitchen. This is consequences, and you clearly have not the faintest concept of them. Could this be the source of your magical power to find time incomprehensible? COULD IT?

I won’t, for now, do more than touch on the subject of sleeping, and your need to sleep for every second of the day you are not putting food into your traps. Nor will I devote much time enquiring into the mystery of your aversion to soap or water or toothbrushes. And I really haven’t the heart to start a discussion on why you’ll spend ten times longer telling me all the reasons why something can’t be done than it takes to just do the fucking thing in the first place.

But why, really why, are you just so fucking inept at everything you do?
Moving in straight lines, for instance…

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41 Responses to “Why?”

  1. Stuck in Beijing said

    So very true! I’m still impressed when my Chinaman wife comes to the right apartment building after shopping. After all, we have only lived in the same building 7 years (the first 4 years I received many tear-laden phone calls to go and collect her as she was lost).

    Don’t even get me started on her “genius” brother, who I call “Wilbur.”

    • MyLaowai said

      haha you got that right mate. My no-good Laowai mates, clients, etc can all find my home on the first attempt with a single text message or phone call to guide them, a feat not one local has ever emulated.

    • Huax said

      You’re shocked that only the retards associate with subhuman whites? All of the good women prefer men with actual dicks, unlike whites, who have the smallest in the world.

  2. Long Long Time Been Here! said

    Sigh………. and it wont change for at least the next 5000 years…………

  3. Roelof Wagner said

    http://sphotos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/c99.0.403.403/p403x403/421606_366841366725041_1451889099_n.jpg

  4. Jeff said

    I see them always eating dried vacuum sealed organic “debris” and usually has a strong Ammonia (NH4) or uric acid smell.
    I walk out of the office when they (my local staff/colleagues) open a packet of preserved (f’ked?)”lizzard gizzards”.

    they so much of this rubbish they’re urine must be thick with poisons (explains China smelly toilet syndrome?)
    When My GF has a whiz and forgets to flush (she washes her hands) I see the bowl full of dark orange liquid.

    This can not be good for the kidneys and liver!
    Whats wrong with an apple? a celery stick? A good ‘ol Chiko roll?
    No ……we have to have fermented dried lizzard gizzards soaked i ammonia and uric acid seasoned with chilli and dill, vacuum selaed in Xian – sold to you 3 years later at a convenience store where the summer storage temperature is higher than that of a black car at the kmart parking lot on a heatwave day with the windows closed under the sun.

    ++++They (the lil’ stinkers) think its only the milk thats got the problem …….hahahaha!++++

  5. RG said

    Good to have you back. Seems to me like the Chinese language is too imprecise to give proper directions. Everything is always “那边“ or “这边” and that simply is not going to cut it when trying to explain location. I’ve never heard someone use cardinal directions in Chinese when telling someone where to walk or drive.

    • Long Long Time Been Here said

      Probably because they want you to get lost……… I’ve never had directions in China and successfully arrived at my desired destination first time.

  6. 0112337 said

    Mylaowai, let me put on my ‘Serious Hat’ and explain why these things happen, from an objective, unbiased, perspective. I am quite certain you know the answers to these rhetorical questions already, but is simply playing cute by feigning naivete. No matter…I am writing this for the Western yokels reading this that really are naive…for the higher ideals of ‘World Peace and Understanding’.

    1. Little towels. I don’t know anyone in Beijing that still carry these, although I believe this might still be the case in the outer provinces. This phenomenon probably started during the communist times, and was the Chinese people’s misinterpretation of British people’s habit of carrying a handkerchief. Up to about 10 years ago, most Chinese people have an idealistic, romantic view of the West, thinking that it is still how it was in the 1700-1800s, where the men are romantic, dignified, and gentlemanly, with a sense of honor, well mannered…even, and the women are well behaved and virtuous. This behavior is considered GOOD in China, and so, since Chinese people have this misconception that this IS THE WEST, it attempted to imitate the western customs of those days, including the handkerchief.

    However, most Chinese’s understanding of the West came through the lens of crude Soviet Bolshevism, thus, the manicured handkerchief carried by 1800s’ British lords, manifested in the form of the utilitarian towel.

    Now, I believe people in the outer provinces are just too stupid to realize they don’t really need that towel. They think they MIGHT need it for something, thus they carry it with them, to be prepared for that 1 in a 1000 chance.

    2. FOOD. The reason for this phenomenon comes from two facets. For one, the majority of Chinese 45 and older today experienced extreme hunger in their lifetime. When they were young, there was no food. Milk, eggs, cake, butter, and other nutritious foods didn’t even exist in most kids’ dreams. Even white flour, used to make 烙饼 and noodles are beyond the reach of most people. Sure, most of you won’t understand this, since even after World War II, Europeans still had SOMETHING to eat. You, Mylaowai, you miserable sniveling little shit, probably had as much cake to eat as you pleased growing up. My older German friend, who was a child right about the end of WWII told me that during those times it was easier to eat meat than vegetables in Germany. He and his family ate beef nearly every day. Compare this to China before 1950, it’s not unheard of to see the ground stripped of grass and trees stripped of bark in a 3 km radius outside a town in the outer provinces. Many people died of hunger, many children watched their parents, siblings, best friends, die of hunger right in front of their eyes. Some also watched their beloved parents die right in front of them so they could save the last bowl of rice soup for their children. The destruction after WWII, foreign embargoes, along with the madness stirred up by the uneducated communist bandits in power during the last century caused what could have been a limited food shortage to last for nearly a century. Whereas western Europe rebounded from the destruction rather quickly, China did not, and the hunger crisis became an indelible trauma on the collective Chinese psyche.

    The other facet is that food and culinary culture is much more developed in China…something similar to how sex/animalism is explored in much more depth in the ‘West’. During ancient days, Oriental and Western culture took on divergent paths in their interpretation of maintaining good health. The West, worshipped the athletic physique, linking it to the divine and perfection. In the thought process at the time, being healthy means exercising and attaining that divine physique, thus being in communion with the Gods, who are perfect. However, in the East, the philosophy was that good health is attained through eating, Through the natural accumulation of various nutrients and ingredients from nature, since the core of oriental philosophy lies in the aspiration of the harmonic unification of Man, Nature, and Universe. Thus, when an ancient Chinese man asks the question, “how can I be healthy?” He doesn’t think in terms of how HE can change himself, but how he fell out of place with the nature harmony that exists in nature. Thus, overtime, a culture and a medical system took shape where the central philosophy is that all sickness and ill health is the result of bodily imbalance, which deviated from the natural celestial harmony that exists in nature. The way to ‘sort out’ this imbalance was by eating different things that counterbalance the system. Eventually, this philosophy developed into a very well developed culinary culture, and a very gluttonous people. Eating was no longer a means to maintain good health, but simply for pleasure.

    3. TIME and INEFFICIENCY. This phenomenon, I think, is the result of communism during the last century. Most workers grew up in a time when it was the custom for managers to coax workers to work through gentle persuasion, where it was the duty of the manager to not only produce for the state, but also 做思想工作 for his workers so they will continue working. Any other method would be un-communistic, or exploitative, which equates to evil/capitalism…haram. When this combines with the traditional confucian beliefs of seniority and respect based on age, it becomes very hard for a younger manager to try to motivate an older man to work efficiently for him.

    However, all that is changing now of course, since China is becoming capitalistic. People go for money now, the previous social belief of ‘performing one’s duty’ is no longer there. But people did not learn the responsibilities that come hand-in-hand with the capitalist system. In capitalism, people pursue money, but everyone also understands that this is the result of a transaction. Money for labor, if I take your money, I must deliver a set amount of labor equal to the monetary amount given.

    This part..unfortunately…has still not sunk in yet in the minds of many communist era educated Chinese. They now realize it’s stupid to not want money for labor, to be a “Lei Feng”, but they don’t have in their mind yet the realization that they must also do work, or simply refuse to acknowledge it by harking propaganda they learned during their youth during the communist times. They would say, “I can’t be exploited!”

    The other aspect to this is, since China’s labor protection laws are inadequate, the workers know that if they don’t watch out for themselves nobody will. This, overtime, evolved into a culture of laziness and incompetence among work units. This is also why a lot of Taiwanese companies have very effective teams. The smart Taiwanese managers give their workers the best healthcare packages, and the best benefits, knowing this will raise their costs. But they also realize that in the long run, putting in short term costs will equate into more efficient teams. Most Chinese managers, unfortunately, are still operating under the ‘Walmart Model Mindset’, not evolved yet to look at long term gains, stuck in short term undercutting each other.

    The last aspect to all of this is no Chinese will work as hard for a foreigner manager knowing that they are being exploited by foreigners. The communist propaganda machine has engineered a psychological aggression/resistance trigger-response mechanism to this situation in the minds of most Chinese people.

    • Long Long Time Been Here said

      Is your serious hat a green hat? I wonder if there is bitterness there.

    • Jeff said

      “no Chinese will work as hard for a foreigner manager” – first decent thing 0112337 has said in a while

      I agree with this point. working for someone is to be exploited, this is where you sign a contract agreeing to pay rewards for your services. – exploitation! How I use the services (I make billions of dollars) is nothing to do with the employee. the employee has agreed for a set reward to do his/her job.

      and yet my Chinese friends say working for foreigners is an easy life! then on the other hand they whine and complain (@double the salary and half the work time)
      not to mention “QQ” time overlaps!

      • 0112337 said

        BULLSHIT…Aussie.

        Everybody in China knows work is tougher, regulations are tighter, foreign bosses are Nazis. Do you let workers sleep during the afternoon? I thought not.

        Your friends are not Chinese.

        And YOU, little fuck, should thank whichever God that threatens you with destruction, that He/She/It placed you in China during this decade. Had you been in Africa instead, the brothers would fucking rape your ass.

        FUCK YOU and other sniveling Bitches like you that’s complaining while making more money than your countrymen can dream of.

      • Dw i'n licio coffi said

        Yes, Chinese workers sleep in the afternoon because they have to clock on at 6am and can’t leave till 10pm. Foreign companies only require you to be there to work, not to be part of the office decor.

      • 0112337 said

        Now, we shouldn’t imagine things just for the sake of winning a point, should we?

      • Dw i'n licio coffi said

        I might have exaggerated but the point stands. Chinese bosses think that for a few thousand JMB a month they own you. They call you up on days off to tell you to be in a meeting asap, or they just turn up at your door expecting to be able to whisk you off at the drop of a hat.

      • 0112337 said

        Are you a businessman?

        …Is this surprising, or are you just being hypocritical? Oh wait…wait…I forgot, you must be from Europe, where the accepted work culture…is to not work at all…which also explains why there is the comedy in Europe with the various state level clowns twirling head over ass over the debt crisis.

        Do you know how it works here in the U.S. for kids that just got out of school? Non-paid “internships” at the office; where the kid is forced to do ALL the basic bitch work, doing raw research, data entry, stapling binders, making cold calls (being cursed at from the other end), bringing in coffee, listening to all sorts of shit from everybody in the office, and all of that must be done with a smile. Most of them are on temporary contracts, or no contract at all (at the crook shops), which means the employer can fire the kid at any time AND give them no benefits, so if…say…they got hit by a car and is hospitalized, the doctors will first put him out of danger, and then let him wait out in the back and slowly die if he doesn’t have insurance coverage, or he doesn’t have a rich daddy with deep pockets. Only recently with Obamacare has this problem been alleviated…somewhat.

        That’s the new “business model” for a lot of smaller finance firms here, all of them American. At the place I used to work a while back, which is a true blue blooded WASP shop, we had a few kids do that. They all graduated from top schools too, and we worked them like slaves, sometimes from 9-10 in the morning to 2 in the morning till they literally dropped, and they were not paid. When they showed signs of wear and tear, which happened after about 5-6 months, we just fired them and told them they didn’t fit the “culture” or some other bullshit and got a new batch. Heck, with the financial recession outside and the millions of naive suburb/village kids moving into the city, who don’t know a thing about business, hoping to “break into IB”, it’s not hard to find new people. For every IB slot open, there are at least 100 people fighting for it here.

        In China, there are at least 100 people fighting for ANY job, and China is a developing country with developing labor laws. Even still, given that, most Chinese employers PAY their workers, especially the highly educated workers.

        My buddy at Deutsche Bank regularly goes into the office on Saturdays and Sundays to work for an hour or two. His boss never forced him to, sure…but his boss also doesn’t need to remind him, directly, that there are plenty of people out there on the job market who is willing to show more “passion, interest, and enthusiasm” for their job.

        Bottom line, you worthless lot are double standard hypocrites. Moreover, you don’t have the right to have a disenting point, because you are a guest in a foreign nation making profits off of your host nation. It is through your hosts’ generosity and kindness that you had the opportunity to make that profit. Instead of thanking your host, you are picking faults? Do you understand by blood, you are not Chinese and never will be? Because deep down in your soul you don’t ‘feel’ the same way we ‘feel’ on certain things which is that intimate connection, developed through thousands of years of agrarian culture, shared only among fellow Chinese. Mind you, this may even be different among Chinese people of different regions, such as the North and the South. You are not one of us, and will never be one, as such, you are like an invited guest, should you find fault with the hosts’ family? It’s not even your house, why are you picking faults? If you don’t like the place, why do you stay there? China is not Europe, we don’t believe in freedom/chaos and multi-culturalism. We believe in orderly, structured, civilized central rule. We believe that democracy will ultimately lead to a society where there is no sense of right or wrong, a society in total chaos and disintegration.

        You can ask any Chinese person, and if they are willing to tell you the truth, they will tell you the same thing. Look at Europe today, it’s so free that in many places there is no longer sense of right and wrong. Everywhere is in decay. If you want multi-culturalism, chaos, or freedom or whatever you want to call it, then you can find that in Europe or the United States. Go there. But if you believe that is right, and forced it on the Chinese people, telling them or hinting that they are backward for not seeing that it is good, then you will be killed, and rightfully killed. Make a healthy start today by realizing that other ancient civilizations did just fine without western ideas and tools for thousands of years, and that the West did not reach prominence until about 400-500 years ago, with the successful integration of science into society.

        The Laowais on this site are like a thieves remarking about how it is inconvenient or ‘unlawful’ for a family to set up a house alarm.

        Don’t you see how ridiculous this is? Don’t you think they should be killed?

      • 0112337 said

        Haven’t you learned your lesson with that shit storm in the Middle East? Arabs, deep down, believe that religion, the state, and society should be one. When this is the condition, they are happy. They will not be happy no matter how much Russian porn, French perfume, British beer, or whatever materialistic accessories of Western freedom you heap onto the Arabs. Deep down, they want their Allah. This is the humanistic law of their society, if you infringe upon that, you will die, in various ways, such as suicide bombing, 911, whatever…

        Likewise in China, the humanistic law of society is order, nationalism, filial piety, and unified centralized, paternal rule. If you infringe upon this, with advocation of dissenting voice, nonsense activities/chaos/freedom, free sex, whatever else nonsense you fools come up with, you will also die, in various ways. This is not so apparent yet, because 1. The Chinese people haven’t really figured you worthless lot out yet, like I have. 2. The Chinese people have a centuries old culture of hospitality and friendliness toward foreigners. This is considered the traits of a great people. However, I think as China gets more connected with the rest of the world, more Chinese people will eventually reach the same conclusion as I have, which means…

        Your death will be imminent.

      • Dw i'n licio coffi said

        Multi-culturism doesn’t work. I never said it did. I don’t believe in free sex and have only ever had sex with my Chinese wife. I think Chinese are just as addicted to sex as anybody. Sex for the Chinese is a typical repression/obsession dichotomy, or whatever psychologists call it. You can’t surf any Chinese web sites without getting bombarded with naked women, even just reading the news on Baidu. Change the subject as usual. Why don’t I leave? I told you before, because of child abduction laws. Leaving China would mean either abandoning my child or abducting her and doing time when caught. Change the subject again, why not? Invent straw men as usual. Makes it easier to hate us.

        The people who can’t get by in their own country rarely come to China. I don’t think that’s a very representative stereotype, and from my experience, would be a minority. In fact I don’t think I’ve met any laowai here that would be dole boys back home. Dole boys don’t go anywhere, they haven’t the balls. That’s just a stereotype invented by 小人 to make themselves feel better.

        There is no such thing as Chinese blood. You said it yourself once. We’re all human. Now you change position as expedient. Why do you think Hong Kongers hate mainlanders and call them dead locusts? What happened to blood ties? But then again, it’s all change the subject with you and argument from authority with you 50-centers. You’re not Chinese so you’ll never understand BS. Yeah yeah yeah whatever. Changing the subject again. I’m sure if a white child was born and brought in China by Chinese parents, it would react the same as any other Chinese. Like my daughter for example, Chinese mother, baomu, kindergarten, elementary school, but she doesn’t look Chinese at all, more like a Mediterranean. Still, wherever she goes, she gets fed up of hearing “foreigner, foreigner.” Inside she’s completely Chinese but is never accepted as such, not that I want her to be. Chinese say things like “her language is English but she can speak Chinese as well.” They don’t think we could speak Welsh or some other language. Oh, and to preempt another of your assumptions, no I don’t communicate with my wife in English. I’ve never spoken to her in English.

        Besides, many of the things I complain about with regard to China are the very same things the Chinese complain about, but I’m also aware of the freedoms I enjoy here that I don’t back home. But I’m supposed to be a guest so should say everything is hunkydory. No it’s not. It’s because of their own complexes and neuroses. If I was African they would react completely different to me. I’m a guest am I? So I can just go into a shop and take goods without paying for them, can I?

        No. I don’t sponge from the Chinese. They are not my host, but my prison guards. All my money comes from my home country. I wouldn’t do business with the Chinese in China, it means getting ripped off. I’m helping the gov import money and pile up more foreign reserves.

        It’s you that sponges from the US and whine till you’re blue in the mouth about whiteys. If you weren’t in the US you’d be tilling the land in Anhui province, without so much as an ox to draw the plow.

        So with you it’s all change subject, change position as expedient, and invent straw men to attack. That’s why I call you a 50-center.

        Everywhere is in decay man. Just the Chinese are trying their best to hide it, which is just kicking the can down the road.

        “Make a healthy start today by realizing that other ancient civilizations did just fine without western ideas and tools for thousands of years, and that the West did not reach prominence until about 400-500 years ago, with the successful integration of science into society.”

        What a load of patronizing textbook crap! How’s about seeing things in less black and white terms? What’s it got to do with anything anyway? The Greek and Roman Empires were achievements and then came the Dark Ages, then the Renaissance, sort of like two steps forward, two steps back before that. What, do you think I should invest all my money in China because it’s touted as an “ancient civilization”? Should I start feeding my babies sugar water, take up spitting and force my children to overeat because China was an “Ancient Civilization” and that’s what they do in China? I really don’t see what relevance it has to anything? Textbook 50-center.

      • Dw i'n licio coffi said

        So hospitality is barely tolerating foreigners and whispering behind their back about how inferior they are? Is that the traits of a great people?

      • Dw i'n licio coffi said

        And you, 01123557, have never been a woman so you don’t know what it feels like to be a woman, and never will, and yet one day, I’m pretty sure you plan to share a domicile with a woman? I hope you’ll remember that you are a guest in your wife’s presence when that time comes, and remember you’ll never understand her, because that kind of thinking is a recipe for failure in a relationship. This is why so many marriages fail or end up sexless, because men don’t bother to educate themselves in how women think and assume they’re pretty much the same as men, just with tits. I’ve been married 13 years and did educate myself, and turned my marriage around, from cold and sexless to sizzling and passionate and getting better all the time. That’s why I say you’ll probably end up as a “nice guy” in a sexless marriage.

      • Dw i'n licio coffi said

        Look, 0112357, to put the record straight, I don’t hate the Chinese. The way they act is pretty much the way people from my own country act in many ways. Their reaction to westerners is pretty reminiscent of how Europeans react to Americans, and I’m sure it’s symptomatic of an inferiority complex. Europeans often say Americans have no culture and all sorts of things, meanwhile they listen to pop and rock music and generally consume American culture in great quantities. Yes, rock music came from the US, because it evolved from Jazz, which I love and it NOT a simple musical form or manifestation of a low-level culture. I personally believe Americans have innovated much great culture whereas China, often touted as a country with a great cultural tradition, really has very little to offer the world in terms of culture, except perhaps its cuisine, which is just one among many, not the culinary apex it’s touted to be. I don’t agree with MLW’s views. but I enjoy a bit of humor. Besides, MLW’s wife probably doesn’t spread her legs for him either.

        I don’t want to change the Chinese and neither do I think the so-called Chinese Model offers anything new to other countries. Investment-led growth is not a new concept – a model that failed many times before (Brazil, USSR, Japan), so it would be nice if they could remember that when they next try to lecture me on the benefits of the Chinese way, or try to asphyxiate my 1.5 year-old child with a massive mouthful of fish.

        You are being too sensitive – another 50 center trait. Yeah, OK, you’re not a 50-center, but you exhibit many of their traits in terms of inability to present a convincing argument, wandering off topic, straw men and other fallacies.

        But are you saying China doesn’t need the west? It’d be pretty interesting to see China without cars, computers, western medicine, western architecture, jeans and other trappings of western civilization. Let them boast all they like about inventing paper, I don’t care what they were like in the past. But I’d like to see how you’d feel if the local Mafia government stole your house and beat you up for trying to protest, if your father hadn’t moved to the States, that horrible place the Chinese/Europeans all despise but all want to emigrate to. It’s a funny old world isn’t it?

        Heddwch, brawd!

      • MyLaowai said

        As far as I am concerned, any culture that can invent the martini has something to offer the world.

      • 0112337 said

        1. “Why don’t I leave? I told you before, because of child abduction laws. Leaving China would mean either abandoning my child or abducting her and doing time when caught.”

        I don’t know, because I don’t have a hybrid kid in China. Why didn’t you bring your wife to England before you had the kid? You should have planned ahead. I always try to.

        2. “The people who can’t get by in their own country rarely come to China. I don’t think that’s a very representative stereotype, and from my experience, would be a minority. ”

        Do YOU believe that? Really??

        3. “There is no such thing as Chinese blood. You said it yourself once. We’re all human.”

        I retract that statement. I used to think that Chinese is defined by language and adoption of confucian ways. But now I think there might be something that’s hereditary…from the comments I see, or maybe Europeans are just so different. Because there’s no way you can understand our perspective, it seems, because our collective experiences over the last few hundred years, which is ingrained in our unconscious, are so fundamentally different.

        Now I really believe this.

        4. “If I was African they would react completely different to me. I’m a guest am I? So I can just go into a shop and take goods without paying for them, can I?”

        The difference is not African or European, which is the European perception, but dark skin vs. light skin. A dark Chinese will get different reactions than a light skinned Chinese also. Does a woman with big boobs gives you the same reactions as a woman with small boobs?

        Back in England, when you go live in a host’s house, you just take goods without asking? Really..?

        5. “No. I don’t sponge from the Chinese. They are not my host, but my prison guards. All my money comes from my home country.”

        You may not, for one reason or another. But many do, and I have seen plenty that, as soon as these monkeys get off the boat/plane, they went straight for sanlitun or wudaokour in my city, thinking the place is Bangkok.

        6. “So with you it’s all change subject, change position as expedient, and invent straw men to attack.”

        You are right. I wasn’t taking it too seriously, but I will later…if you want me to.

        7. “It’s you that sponges from the US and whine till you’re blue in the mouth about whiteys. If you weren’t in the US you’d be tilling the land in Anhui province, without so much as an ox to draw the plow.”

        HA~~! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

        Now here I am serious. Let me tell you the truth. The U.S….is built by businessman, and as such, they will not let anyone in unless they know this person will contribute greatly to the country. Don’t give those cheap, crass, ignorant village traders that much credit.

        Do you really think the immigration officers in China will let a random farmer in Anhui to come to the U.S. in the 80s??? Really?? Does that make business sense??

        Why do you think the U.S. is so keen on keeping out the Mexican farmers? Why do they all come here illegally not legally?

        If an immigrant comes to the U.S. legally, they already lost in the bargain. Most don’t know. I can go on about this for hours with you.

        8. “Everywhere is in decay man.”

        I don’t agree. Africa is booming, and China is still growing, despite what you see on the street.

        9. “What, do you think I should invest all my money in China because it’s touted as an “ancient civilization”?”

        Maybe you shouldn’t, because maybe you don’t understand China and Chinese.

        I made a few investments, and made quite a bit of money.

        10. “Should I start feeding my babies sugar water, take up spitting and force my children to overeat because China was an “Ancient Civilization” and that’s what they do in China?”

        It’s marvelous how you ‘Westerners’ never fail to look at the bad things in China huh? Miraculous…like…genetic…

        11. “So hospitality is barely tolerating foreigners and whispering behind their back about how inferior they are? Is that the traits of a great people?”

        They were very hospitable in the beginning, but then a number of you ruined the image, such as constantly telling them the bad things you see, and trying to instill democracy/chaos. This made a lot of people angry.

        12. “This is why so many marriages fail or end up sexless, because men don’t bother to educate themselves in how women think and assume they’re pretty much the same as men, just with tits.”

        HA~! This is funny. Do I come off as that? Do you think I think a woman is a a man with tits??

        I am against free sex, having sex with multiple partners, and abnormal sex…such as…well you know what I am talking about…it started in the west.

        There is nothing wrong with making love with your wife. That’s great! Do more of that, as long as it’s consensual. I am also very happy for you, to hear that your marriage is sizzling.

        But I hope your relationship with your wife is not that typical one you see in Shanghai, where you are 65, and your wife is like 24.

        Understand I am not against mixed marriages. As long as it’s consensual, go for it. But what I am against is those bastards that come and sleeps with everybody, rapes, or engage in abnormal sex. They should be castrated.

        13. “Yes, rock music came from the US, because it evolved from Jazz, which I love and it NOT a simple musical form or manifestation of a low-level culture.”

        Most of American arts came from African Americans, who weren’t considered Americans until the latter half of the last century.

        Jazz evolved out of the blues, which is low level folk culture, first from black slaves who were taught to sing out their troubles, as a way to cure it.

        I see your point, but please understand, other than New England, California, and the deep South, there is really no culture here in this country. That’s at least 70% of the landmass.

        I don’t consider rap culture.

        14. “China, often touted as a country with a great cultural tradition, really has very little to offer the world in terms of culture, except perhaps its cuisine, which is just one among many, not the culinary apex it’s touted to be.”

        It’s not superficial, not like in Europe and America, where it’s designed for shock value.

        You don’t understand it. Trust me on this one. Most people today, even Chinese people, are not smart enough to truly appreciate the culture of the ancients.

        15. “Besides, MLW’s wife probably doesn’t spread her legs for him either.”

        I think MLW’s wife constantly owns this man. That’s my take.

        16. “I don’t want to change the Chinese and neither do I think the so-called Chinese Model offers anything new to other countries.”

        Good, I think you are truly one of the minorities among the foreigners there.

        17. “But are you saying China doesn’t need the west? It’d be pretty interesting to see China without cars, computers, western medicine, western architecture, jeans and other trappings of western civilization.”

        Like I said, the west gave the world two things. 1. the idea of using gadgets to simplify life. 2. Incorporation of technology into life, politics, economics, and law. This made your civilization very powerful 200 years ago, but because you don’t have a sound social philosophy to govern you brutes, you went out and killed everybody else.

        18. “But I’d like to see how you’d feel if the local Mafia government stole your house and beat you up for trying to protest, if your father hadn’t moved to the States, that horrible place the Chinese/Europeans all despise but all want to emigrate to. It’s a funny old world isn’t it?”

        1. You can’t give perfect justice to 1.3 people. That’s just impossible.

        2. My father, like many immigrants, didn’t know what it’s really like here until it was too late. If he had the choice to choose again, we wouldn’t have come.

        I am serious.

      • 0112337 said

        It was good to get to know you Coffi. You are a good man. I want to apologize for my first post to you on another thread. Maybe that was rude.

      • 0112337 said

        And Coffi, it’s funny how you are going through the EXACT same phase my family went through in the beginning. I call this the “grind stage”. Bend or break, a lot of the Laowais here, I imagine, may be in this ‘grinder’ situation right now.

        My mother, a once highly influential, highly educated, and celebrated professor of medicine, used to look outside the small window of our rented basement apartment in New York everyday, at the low flying airplanes that passed overhead every 10 minutes, dreaming about boarding on one so she could go back to China. She could not find work, because, although she knew more about her science than any bullshit American doctor out there, seen more patients than any of them, she can’t practice again without re-certification, which will require her to relearn everything she knew in latinized english. Going through medical school here again. That was too hard for her, at her age, when we came to the United States. So she was a homemaker for 10 years.

        She would tell me she hated every American outside, thought everyone of them was like a prison guard, preventing her from success. She despised them, and despised the cheap, crass, uneducated village trader culture here. Those times were tough.

        But then at some point we stopped fighting, because we realized our actions were irrational. We can’t leave America, because my father was too stubborn to be enlightened, and so we moved on to trying to understand and accept American culture, to learn to see the best aspects rather than picking out the worst. Now my family is doing quite well here, and my mother has her own practice and is a professor at her medical school again.

        Looking back, from hindsight, I think the real problem was culture. We were comfortable with a certain way of life back home in Beijing, back then in the 80s. A sort of socialist soviet/russian way (yes, Russian because of copying from the USSR) of life mixed with Chinese characteristics. That entire world view, philosophical system, was completely incompatible with the American world view. From a thought process starting point, it was antithetical. Whenever this happens, when there is such a strong clash of cultures, there will be suffering. Because you are asking someone to delete at least hundreds of years of social construction in the unconscious human psyche, and asking that person to merge with the mainstream’s unconscious. That’s a form of torture.

        And we fought hard against it, belittling the host country’s people around us, finding every single minuscule fault we can spot, and we were quite bitter. In fact, we almost went crazy. All the while never truly acknowledging the source of the problem, that it was US, not them, US. It was not the Americans’ fault that we were stuck there, but it was my father’s fault because he was too stubborn to realize the truth, that it was better back home. Because we loved him, we never wanted to put the blame on him, or force him to change. Yet all the while, we put the blame on others, and as I can imagine made quite a few American’s lives miserable.

        We always cheered when the Chinese team beat the American team during the Olympics, or when we read about how some Chinese politician made an ass of an American politician on the newspaper. Those were some really ugly times which I try to forget.

        And what is even more hilarious, was that we tried to change the Americans around us, so they could be more like us, and we would feel more comfortable. In school, I converted a few stupid kids to communism. To this day, those guys are still avowed communists, and has taken up positions in politics. How ridiculous and selfish is that??

        However, after we stopped fighting this country, and made an effort to look at its brighter side, a lot of doors were opened which helped us.

        It is amazing to me that fate will have it, that 30 or so years later, you people will be going through what we went through just 30 years prior. What a sea of change~! I was just talking with a few Chinese investors a few weeks back, they were invited to the U.S. by local mayors/officials to invest in U.S. projects. They were talking about how shocked they were. 20 years ago, they were taught how to attract foreign capital, but none of them would have thought, 20 years later, they would be invited by others to invest in their country.

        So here is my advice for survival. Be realistic. The more you fight and blame the Chinese people around you for whatever reason, the more bitter and crushed you will be. It’s not their fault that you are there. It’s also not their obligation to change, because you are there. However, you guys have it slightly easier because the Chinese people are much more hospitable than Americans, they actually changed their ways a bit to accomodate you. But don’t expect them to change completely. Your standard of propriety is not theirs, and will never be completely.

        What you can do however, is two. 1. Leave the country in some way, or 2. Adopt the ways of the people there. Try to see the good aspects rather than the bad, or you will suffer forever. You might even get cancer. The local people will not change, although they will miss you and try to make you happy, because it’s the culture, they probably wouldn’t remember you after 1 year when you left. You will just be another Laowai that came by.

        That’s my take.

      • MyLaowai said

        Option 3: Don’t become a cunt like the vast, overwhelming majority of ‘people’ all around you.

  7. 0112337 said

    But then again Laowai, don’t you realize your post is a reflection of your own ineptitude as a manager?

    诸葛亮会呼风唤雨,无中生有,灭掉曹操的千军万马,你呢?

    听说过中国的俗话,“腿瘸赖地不平吗?”

    • MyLaowai said

      And why are all Chinese sayings so rubbish?

      • 0112337 said

        Because you, the Laowai, can’t understand it.

      • Jeff said

        These “Chinese sayings” have a very long history, many are pointless for today’s language needs.
        WHere many European languages adapted and changed due to technical influences of other cultures – Chinese hasn’t cahnged much in near 2000 years.

        Chinese culture and science nearly stopped developing under Ming and Qing dynasties. After gun powder it was all over.
        During the 1700s and 1800s all the important discoveries for Medicine, Chemistry, Physics ( electricity, magnetics, particle theory), lightbulbs, refrigeration, internal combustion engine. ALL European!
        take these out of China and they all stave in misery.

        Something that is missing in Chinese Philosophy Arts and Sciences since the beginning is LOGIC.
        In the west , Logic philosophy science and art was used since ancient Greek times. (a short discontinuity during the dark ages,)

        Famines
        Irish potato famines
        Stalin induced famines on Ukraine
        after World war 2 – in Germany meat? wow! vegetables? wow!

      • 0112337 said

        Rambling Nonsense. Go back to Australia.

  8. vanoc1 said

    Hey ther fuck for brains. I’m helping to restore a national wide youth program here in Freedomland, to better the lives of children. What have you been doing except being a fuck for brains. That’s what I though…..

    • 0112337 said

      Your grandfather has been working tirelessly moving capital from the dark ‘freedom’ (?) hinderlands to the land of the light. Also he has been inviting key Chinese investors to the hinderlands for potential acquisitions so they can help the savages obtain their happy meals each night, so their children can maintain the strength to masturbate and go to your programs.

      你地。。。明白, little one?

  9. 0112337 said

    After further thought, your grandfather has realized an important point, and wishes to make it known.

    I encourage all horses and monkeys reading this post to go out and go animalistic on as many Chinese girls as you can. The younger and the prettier the better. Especially in college. Go on, fuck them, and then dump them and please let them know.

    Chinese people have a mental problem,even when it is plainly obvious, to an American, that the first tier Chinese cities are in every way better than ‘Western’ ones, they still want to go out and take a look outside, no matter how bad it is. Some 脑残 would rather eat foreign pig shit than have shark fin or swallow nest.

    Therefore, for the sake of the Chinese people, I encourage the wild donkeys and the jungle monkeys here to go out and jungle fuck like there is no tomorrow. Do us all a favor, and educate these 250s, fucktards….

    Do the right thing, be a Lei Feng and sacrifice yourselves. Make a public spectacle, for the evolution of the PRC, a beating afterwards at the station is for the advancement of an entire group of people who clearly have had too good a life, too little suffering, and have become all fucktards.

    • vanoc1 said

      How’s your street shitting child?

      • 0112337 said

        Don’t have one yet.

        But when I do, I will train it to shit solids and go for the garden.

        If she is a girl, I will have her piss standing up, aiming for the tallest tree trunk while lifting one leg up and shouting, “OUT~!” at the top of her lungs.

        If I succeed, I will teach you my methods…

  10. Truly when someone doesn’t understand then its up to other people that they will help, so here it takes place.

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