Wang Bei, 24, a former contestant on Super Girl, China’s version of American Idol, died on November 15th during “facial bone-grinding surgery” in Wuhan. Official reports cite an “anaesthetic accident” as the cause: “Wang’s jaw suddenly started bleeding during the procedure, blocking her windpipe and causing her to suffocate.”
Yeah right, do you believe this? I didn’t, so with my usual apathy and luck-lustre approach, I began ringing my contacts at her hospital. Chinese nurses are very obliging, especially when they know you have photos of them with you in the KTV where they worked during their training.
Lead Surgeon, Wang Hung Lo, couldn’t resist his natural impulses after he heard that the reason for her surgery was to increase her mandibular extension so she could please foreign judges as much as their Chinese counterparts. He had to sample it for himself whilst she was unconscious, an act routinely performed in KTV’s across the country nightly. Unfortunately, he choked her, the anaesthetic having shrunken her thorax. He can be found at his usual job of janitor at the local bathhouse. He regularly moonlights as a plastic surgeon.
“It’s just like taking out the trash”, he said when I interviewed him. “You peel the skin back like removing the bin liner from a soggy waste basket, then scrape on the bone just the same as scraping week old phlegm off the sides of the bin. Easy work. I get my mum to stitch them up afterwards, she is famous for her embroidery.”
However, the real tragedy is that I had advised her to not worry about the mouth, a tight fit is a good fit, but rather she should get a boob job, as, like the vast majority of Asian women, she was as flat as an airport runway. You can ignore my advice, but be aware there will be consequences.
Wang Bei. China’s Superbint.