Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

Yes We Can!

Posted by MyLaowai on Thursday, January 1, 2009

Winner, China Blog Awards, 2008

Best overall China blog for the year 2008 is Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

We did it, and I am exceptionally pleased to be saying so. And what’s more, there are a few people I’d like to thank:

Chinalyst, obviously, for hosting this award again. It’s a fair bit of work and she does it well. She also has a fairly readable blog herself, so do yourself a favour and read it from time to time.

You. You lot must have been clicking away at the voting counter so hard your mouses mice controllers have melted. Just don’t blame me for your carpal tunnel syndrome. I actually didn’t get many chances to vote for myself, so it really is appreciated that y’all picked up the slack for me. Thanks once again.

And, of course, China. Without you, old friend, I’d never have found the inspiration to carry on. Throughout this last year, whenever I’ve found myself out of inspiration, you’ve been the one who butchered Tibetans, or who gave more weapons to Sundanese and Zimbabwean despots. It was you who brought out the best in me, even as you brought out the worst in your own people. It was your propaganda that helped me to reach these lofty heights during the most awful months of this year, when all there was to see / read / hear was the Genocide Olympics. And it was your own fenqing, your darling sons and daughters of the New Cultural Revolution, who provided me with so much mirth in the form of hollow threats. So it is most of all to you, China, that I dedicate this poke in the eye award.

And so where now from here? It’s been a good contest, and as I said, I’m exceptionally pleased with the outcome. So pleased in fact, that it seems a pity to let it all end here, with just a JPEG to remember it by. So this is what I propose, and I do most sincerely hope all of you get behind it with the same enthusiasm you showed when voting for me:

We get Top Gear – the BAFTA, multi-NTA and International Emmy Award-winning BBC television series – to come out to China and do a special here. Please write to the lads, and beg them to come. You can now say with a high degree of confidence that the winner of the China Blog Awards is on his knees every night praying for it to happen.

Don’t Delay – Write Today!

The online contact form can be found here, at the bottom of the page. Alternatively, write to them at:

Top Gear
Zone B, Energy Centre 2nd Floor, BBC Media Village,
201 Wood Lane, London W12 7TN

If enough of us write, they’ll be bound to notice. Can we pull it off? Yes, We Can!

Thank you.

In other, related, news… Thanks also are due to those of you who were kind enough to write a Guest Post during the year. If you have something to say, and you possess the ability to say it with reasonable grammar, please drop me a line at MyLaowai@gmail.com.

22 Responses to “Yes We Can!”

  1. Neddy said

    Congratulations. I was itching to be the first one to say it here.


  2. MyLaowai said

    Second! Oh… Wait.. Yes.

  3. MyLaowai said

    ‘A dry martini,’ he said. ‘One. In a deep champagne goblet.’

    ‘Oui, monsieur.’

    ‘Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it’s ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?’

    ‘Certainly, monsieur.’ The barman seemed pleasant with the idea.

    ‘Gosh that’s certainly a drink,’ said Leiter.

    Bond laughed. ‘When I’m … er … concentrating.’ he explained, ‘I never have more than one drink before dinner. But I do like that one to be large and very strong and very cold and very well-made. I hate small portions of anything, particularly when they taste bad. This drink’s my own invention. I’m going to patent it when I can think of a good name.’

    He watched carefully as the deep glass became frosted with the pale golden drink, slightly aerated by the bruising of the shaker. He reached for it and took a long sip.

    ‘Excellent,’ he said to the barman, ‘but if you can get a vodka made with grain instead of potatoes, you will find it still better.’

  4. Neddy said

    You are (as you must know) on CN Reviews now… all I can say is that any publicity is a good publicity at this point.

    You took the trouble to compete, and you won. So why don’t you rub everyone’s noses in it: To your trophy, you added “Winner 2008”. Why stating the obvious, when it really is an “Overall Best Blog Winner” award. This award did not exist last year, so the point needs to be driven home.

    Another thing: The General Blog category was where you entered the competition. And the 2007 General Blog winner was Sinocidal. Makes kind of sense to me.

    I thought that the martini toast thing may please you, but myself, I am a single malt scotch whisky fanatic. Still, what do you think of this?

  5. MyLaowai said

    Me likes it, Neddy. Me likes martini dry.

  6. Grats Man, Grats.

    Time to ‘cock the picky’ methinks.


  7. justrecently said

    Just to remind you that it is time for an inspiring speech.

  8. Oops, shit, fk and damnation. That ‘picky’ above should be ‘pinky’ – it’s only a picky if you’re a Chinese Taxi Driver.

    Time to ‘cock the pinky’.

  9. Mylaowai: your blog is
    continuous stream of hate and insults with zero analysis on the subjects it claims to care about. The owners of Chinalyst seem to have no problem with this and don’t even add a disclaimer to the announcement congratulating Mylaowai on the win.

  10. MyLaowai said

    Hmmm… Yep. That sounds right.

    Alternatively, perhaps a sense of humour would help this poor guy. Either that, or a full frontal lobotomy. Either way, I suspect that the problem is with him.

    I further suspect that, were the Wet Pussy Award to make a comeback (with a new pussy, of course), he would be an award winner himself. For a blogger who claims that “It’s only since I came to Shanghai in 2001 that I found a music scene I liked again, one based around DIY culture and not sending tapes to A&R men”, he sure does have a lot to say.

    And this: “We’re also transcending the blog by talking about it while in it. Now we’re one more level ‘out’ of the onion skin thingy. We are now commenting on blogging by blogging.”

    It’s guys like this that are ruining Europe for the rest of us. Damn Commies.

    Whatever. I’m about to have a martini and look through his blog in more detail, hoping for inspiration for my next post.

  11. LaoLao said

    Congrats on the win. Did you get the cheque by post yet? ;)

  12. MyLaowai said

    More to the point, did all of you who voted for me get your cheques yet?

  13. Let me guess. ‘The cheque is in the mail’. :)

  14. Neddy said

    And I was hoping that the “50 cents party” aspect of this affair would remain, mercifully, hidden! Well, since the shit hit fan already, let’s sweep it up, and sell it as a fertiliser…

    On another tune: Just came back from
    Correct me if I said anything wrong there.

  15. MyLaowai said

    No, if you said what you wanted to say, then you said it right.

    I’m all for people saying what they think.


  16. Neddy said

    Oy, thank you, kind sir! But my occasional mumblings are hardly ever meant to seek other people approval. While sometimes I do invite other’s input, usually it’s that I get cranky, and talk to myself. A perfectly harmless peccadillo, so long as it does not degenerate into arguing with myself, and losing those arguments!

    Anyway, my mind is elsewhere already. Some blogs now debate latest essays by Bao Tong, and his subversion of myths about Mr Deng. I like the mental picture of Deng Xiaoping being pushed through that “door to the world” kicking and screaming, instead of opening it. Ok, this is no news to most of us, both in China and out of it, but the timing, the timing when all the bastards congratulate each other…

    I hope people will remember and pay homage to the little butcher (Mrs Neddy’s words) on the 20th anniversary of “that which never happened”.

  17. Neddy said

    Re #14 & 16: Still, I appreciated the Stranded Mariner’s comment: “Somehow I sense a lot of sour grapes hanging too high.”

    Too right!

  18. Re comment #9 and ‘Andy Best’ – PREMIER ASSHOLE!! Just thought I’d say that to make me feel better… I hate cunts.

  19. MyLaowai said

    Careful dude, he and all his mates (two of them, one of which is a shelia, both of which are radical arty types) will threaten you with artistic language if you aren’t careful!

  20. Eric said

    Congrats! Now that you’ve won, it’s finally time for that titty bar!

  21. MyLaowai – He’s a Scouser, he’s too thick to have mates and his first – and only – girlfriend is/was related to him.

    Little Scouse girl says to her mummy who’s washing the dishes with bare hands and using Fairy Liquid – “Mummy, what soft hands you have”.

    “That’s because I’m only 15 darling” mummy says.

    One the subject of Fairy Liquid – Isn’t that like erm…, American Beer?

    PS – did someone mention titty bar?

  22. […] through a timely endorsement.  Meanwhile, another “Friend of Yan” captured the overall title.  (Side note: Both of these bloggers used “Yes We Can” in thier victory […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: