Poor China. It seems that no matter what it does, it’s wrong in the eyes of the Evil West. Poor China has long been the victim of foreign aggression, foreign discrimination, foreign conspiracies, foreign trade restrictions, and foreign media reporting. Poor China, indeed.
But hang on a moment. Poor China? Hasn’t China in fact been a net beneficiary of bias in all of the above cases? Foreign aggression, for instance: Since the country was founded in 1949 following the Communist Terrorist victory over the legally elected Government, China has invaded or initiated wars with East Turkestan, Tibet, Korea (against the UN), India (twice), Vietnam, Taiwan (Yachen, Quemoy, and Matsu Islands), Burma, and Russia, in the process nearly doubling the size of the country. They have sponsored terror in places as far-flung as Cambodia (Khmer Rouge), Peru (the Shining Path), the Philippines (New People’s Army), and India (Maoist Communist Party), not to mention supporting materially and financially people such as Osama Bin Laden. As for trade issues, China has long been known for an apparent inability to abide by any international agreement or treaty (take for instance the Treaty of Shimonoseki, in which China ceded Taiwan in perpetuity, and which China unilaterally abrogated). Or the opium trade, in which the Chinese Government was the primary force behind the growing, production, refining, selling and exporting of the narcotic substance (but for which the British were blamed when they, too, sold a little in order to try to restore the trade imbalance caused as a result of the Chinese Government’s reneging on international trade agreements). As for discrimination, I feel quite comfortable in saying without any hesitation whatsoever, that there’s no one on earth quite like the Chinese when it comes to discrimination. Really, there isn’t. Hell, I had a three-year-old (!) toddle up to me a couple of days ago whilst I was minding my own business, say “Wai Guo [foreigner]” to me, and try to spit on my foot (in response I picked up the little bastard with my left hand, and with my right gave him a smack on the arse so hard his grandchildren will be bruised, thus confirming that we foreign devils are not to be trifled with). And as for media bias… well, more on that shortly.
What has all this to do with Wet Pussies? In case you were unaware of it, Communist China has just hosted the Summer Olympics. For anyone who missed it, they were given this great honour by those wettest of pussies, the International Olympic Committee. It seemed an opportunity too good to pass up on – we in the West give them this opportunity to prove themselves ready to join the community of nations, and they in return promise to start acting like adults and not kill quite so many of their own people. And that was the deal, make no mistake about it. We in the West kept our side of the bargain…
In a way, it was a marriage made in heaven: the IOC, long known for being one of the most corruptible organisations in the world on the one hand, and on the other, Red China, probably the most brutal dictatorship in human history. Each on their own was utterly beyond contempt, and yet together they seemed to give each other such credibility – no wonder that Jacques Rogges was always so keen to meet his commie buddies in the KTV at Zhong Nan Hai.
Ah, Jacques. What a bastard you are. A lying, crooked, corrupt appeaser and in general terms a complete twat of the first water. I’d dearly love to award you this Wet Pussy Award for services to the Chinese Communist Party.
But unfortunately, I can’t.
Because, you see, there’s an even more deserving recipient, and that would be the Western Media, those same people who are so regularly accused of showing unfair bias against Poor China.
Oh sure, there are a few journalists and reporters who do know their topic, and who are not afraid to write the truth. Sadly, though, they are few and far between. For those of you who might read this, please understand that I value you all the more for it.
Let’s just go back to my opening remarks, shall we? When, in all those events, did China ever get the caning it so richly deserved from our media? Somehow, they’ve always managed to squeak through smelling, if not of roses exactly, at least not like the dogshit that they are. For hundreds of years they’ve had the benefit of doubt, they’ve been the poor underdog who just needed to be given a chance and a little encouragement, the child who always got let off lightly when he didn’t play well with others. And then they got the Olympics, and the harsh glare of the international media spotlight was upon them. And we let them off the hook again!
“Greece won the gold medal in doping”, said Jacques Rogges, and his words were faithfully reported around the world. But, how many reporters mentioned that the Greek athletes in question had had their dietary supplements laced with steroids, quite deliberately, by the Chinese company that produced them?
“Keep politics out of sport”, cried the Chinese Propaganda Ministry, and the media picked up the tune. How many reporters mentioned, even in passing, that China had boycotted more Olympics than any other nation in history?
“Protest Zones have been established in Beijing”, announced the Chinese Security Services, and the media loved it. Very few made much of a deal about the fact that not a single protest was ever approved, and that many of the applicants were taken directly to a slave labour camp for re-education.
Rogges again: “For the first time, foreign media will be able to report freely and publish their work freely in China. There will be no censorship on the Internet.” And our media loved that one. Well then, why didn’t they use the opportunity to exercise their new-found freedom, and report on the plight of the millions of people who are currently in Laogai slave labour camps for Re-education Through Hard Labour, and who are quite outside any legal system. Or report on the vast number of people who were sent to live in the countryside, so as to hide Beijing’s true squalor from the gaze of any Olympic visitors? How many reports did you read quoting stories of horror from the lips of Tibetan victims of torture and oppression? How many Uyghur’s were interviewed for their views on the illegal Chinese occupation of their country? I didn’t read a single report highlighting the fact that the face on the money is that of Mao Zedong, the greatest murderer in all of human history, who was proudly responsible for the deaths of more people than Hitler and Stalin combined? Did you just happen to miss that one, did you, media hacks?
Western Media, you are the people we trust to give us the truth, and who are, by dint of the sacrifices made by our forefathers, in a unique position to be allowed to do so. You have let us down again. You have conspired to support China once more at the expense of the truth, and for this you deserve nothing less than this Wet Pussy Award.
Oh yeah, and in case anyone thought I’d forgotten it, here’s yer Pair of Tits for August, while I’m at it: