Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

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Archive for July, 2007

Fine Speech, Sir!

Posted by MyLaowai on Monday, July 30, 2007

This is a speech given by Senator Frank Wolf, who sits on the House Appropriations Committee, State and Foreign Operations Subcommittee. The speech was delivered July 17th, 2007.

“Imagine a country where factory workers have no workplace safety, labor or environmental protections and are required to work 80 hour-weeks for no more than $110 per month to produce goods for export.

“Imagine a country which boldly supplies missiles and chemical weapons technology to countries that support or harbor terrorists.

“Imagine a country that oversees a network of espionage operations against American companies and the U.S.

“Imagine a country which tortures and imprisons Catholic bishops, Protestant church leaders, Muslim worshipers, Falun Gong followers, and Buddhist monks and nuns just because of their faith and systematically destroys churches and confiscates Bibles.

“Imagine a country which has a thriving business of harvesting and selling for transplant kidneys, corneas and other human organs from executed prisoners who are thrown in prison with no trial or sentencing procedures.

“Imagine a country which maintains an extensive system of gulags – slave labor camps, also known as the “laogai” – as large as existed in the former Soviet Union that are used for brainwashing and “reeducation through labor.”

“Sadly, none of this is imaginary. Such a nation exists. It is the People’s Republic of China.

“Sadly, too, that’s just part of the list of egregious actions.

“In 2006, the Chinese government arrested 651 Christians that we know of. Currently China has 6 Catholic bishops in jail and another 9 under house arrest. Renowned human rights advocate Rebiya Kadeer has watched from exile as the Chinese government arrests and beats her family members in her homeland.

“Late last year, western mountain climbers captured on videotape a horrifying scene: Chinese police shooting from their North Face tents at a group of Tibetan refugees crossing Nangpa Pass. A 17-year old Buddhist nun was killed and several others were wounded.

“There are some who assert that human rights are something that should come once stability has been attained. They say that protection of human rights comes second to attaining economic power and wealth. We must reject that notion.

“During the debate over granting China permanent normal trade relations status, proponents argued that economic liberalization would lead to political liberalization in China, that exposing China to the West’s ideas and values would lead them to play a more constructive role in the international community, and that the U.S. and other industrialized nations could influence China through economic activity to better respect the rights of its citizens to fundamental human rights and the unfettered practice of their faith.

“Instead, we have seen why the protection of basic liberties should not come second to economic growth. The China of today is worse than than the China of yesterday, or of last year, or of the last decade. China is not progressing. It is regressing. It is more violent, more repressive, and more resistant to democratic values than it was before we opened our ports to freely accept Chinese products.

“And now, in addition to all of the horrible things the Chinese government does to its own citizens, it does to other countries’ citizens as well. It poisons children in Panama, the Dominican Republic, and Australia, with toothpaste containing an industrial solvent and prime ingredient in some antifreeze. This toothpaste was marketed under the brand name “Mr. Cool.”

“Some 1.5 million wooden toys in the Thomas the Tank Engine line of children’s trains were recalled after manufacturers discovered that the Chinese-made toys were slathered in lead-based paint, a substance that is toxic if swallowed.

“China continues to send American consumers adulterated and mislabeled food products, including prunes tinted with chemical dyes, dried apples preserved with a cancer-causing chemical, scallops and sardines coated with putrefying bacteria, and mushrooms laced with illegal pesticides.

“Food and Drug Administration inspectors who traveled across the world to investigate the recent mass poisoning of U.S. pets stemming from tainted pet food from China arrived at two suspected Chinese factories, only to find the factories had been cleaned out and all equipment dismantled.

“On June 28, the FDA banned the import of five types of farm-raised shrimp and fish from China because they are so contaminated from unsafe drugs in China’s polluted waterways.

“A recent NPR story described how garlic from China outsold garlic grown in California for the first time last year. China began dumping garlic at U.S. ports below cost in the 1990s. Hefty tariffs kept the garlic imports at bay for a few years, but since 2001, imports of Chinese garlic have increased fifteen-fold.

“Several Fourth of July celebrations in my district, including in my hometown of Vienna, Virginia, included malfunctioning fireworks that injured 11 people, including children and an infant. These fireworks came from China.

“Some 450,000 imported tires were recalled from Foreign Tire Sales after it was discovered that the Chinese-made tires were sold without a critical safety feature that prevents the tread from separating from the tire. A blown tire can cause the driver of the vehicle to lose control of his or her car and crash.

“China is one of the world’s leading producers of unlicensed copies of goods ranging from movies and designer clothes to sporting goods and medications. According to the Motion Picture Association of America, 93 percent of DVDs sold in China are unlicensed copies. The MPAA, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and other industry groups say that despite stricter Chinese enforcement, product piracy is growing amid China’s booming economic expansion.

“China is building a new coal-fired power plant every week and within a year will be the biggest source in the world of greenhouse gases. It is building factories and infrastructure all over the developing world, but we have no solid data on China’s plans or programs. A recent editorial in The Washington Post reported that World Bank experts estimate that toxic air and water in China kill some 710,000 to 760,000 Chinese each year.

“During a recent visit to Sudan, Chinese President Hu Jintao promised to build a new palace for the Sudanese president, Omar al-Bashir, despite Bashir’s role in orchestrating the ongoing genocide in Sudan’s Darfur region. This is in addition to the recent Amnesty International report that China is selling weapons to the Sudanese government, which are then being used to kill and maim innocent civilians in Darfur.

“China bullies neighboring Taiwan, repeatedly threatening to launch missiles from the mainland for Taiwan’s refusal to accept China’s claims of sovereignty over the democratically governed territory.

“And despite all of these abhorrent acts, China was still awarded the honor of hosting the 2008 Olympics. The Olympic Games: an event designed to lift up “the educational value of good example and respect for universal fundamental ethical principles,” according to its own charter. Does China’s behavior sound like a “good example” to the rest of the world? Or that it is reflecting “fundamental ethical principles” that all nations should aspire to?

“Amnesty International reports that the Chinese government is rounding up people in the streets of Beijing that might “threaten stability” during the Olympic Games, and is detaining them without trial. Human Rights Watch reports that the Chinese government is tightening restrictions on domestic and foreign media, in an effort to control what information leaks out about China’s repressive and violent nature during coverage of the Olympics.

“China has even gone so far as to claim it will “force rain” in the days leading up to the Olympics, in order to have clear skies for the Games. They intend to fire rocket shells containing sticks of silver iodide into Beijing’s skies, provoking a chemical reaction that will force rain – despite mixed reviews on the soundness of this science.

“China s desperation to conceal its true character leading up to the Games smacks of the Nazi bid for the Olympic Games. Analysts are likening the 2008 Beijing Olympics to the 1936 Olympics, in which Nazi Germany soft-pedaled its anti-Semitic agenda and plans for territorial expansion, fooling the international community with an image of a peaceful, tolerant Germany under the guise of the Olympic Games.

“Like the Nazi regime in 1936 Berlin, the Chinese government is preparing for the Olympics by hiring U.S. firms to handle public relations and marketing for the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

“Where is the outrage over China’s unacceptable behavior? The facts are before us. The United States can no longer say that things are improving in China

“But China would have America and the world believe that is the case. China has hired a number of large lobbying firms in Washington, DC to push China’s agenda with the U.S. government. Documents from the Department of Justice show these lobbyists as having a significant presence on Capitol Hill, including almost 200 meetings with Member offices between July 1, 2005 and December 31, 2006.

“America must be a country that stands up for basic decency and human rights. America must speak out on behalf of those who cannot speak for themselves – men and women who are being persecuted for their religious or political beliefs. Our foreign policy must be a policy that helps promote human rights and freedom. Not a policy that sides with dictators who oppress their own citizens.

“Next time you make a purchase, and you see the words “Made in China,” think of the poisoned toothpaste, the contaminated food, the polluted waterways and airspace, the exploding tires, malfunctioning fireworks, the human rights abuses, and the intimidation of religious leaders. Remember that China poses a threat not only to its own citizens, but to the entire world. American businesses have an opportunity to capitalize on China’s failure to protect the safety of its food exports. American businesses should seize this opportunity by reclaiming their place in the global market. The United States government and American consumers must be vigilant about protecting the values that we hold dear.”


Thanks to A True Chinese Renaissance for the report.

Posted in Annexed Territories, Censorship, China, Corruption, Environment, Human Rights, Media, Olympics | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Michael Chang, Wipe Your Nose

Posted by MyLaowai on Friday, July 27, 2007

Pop Quiz: Who is Michael Chang?

a – A washed-up tennis player who is liked by everyone’s mother

b – A Chinaman living in the USA, on the payroll of the Chinese Communist Party, who occasionally writes unpaid articles for Asia Times Online, in the ‘Speaking Freely’ section.

c – All of the above

The correct answer of course, is ‘c’, though the character referred to in this post, is the one in ‘b’.

Michael Chang (real name is something probably unpronounceable) writes lovely little opinion pieces from time to time. His latest one, entitled ‘Let Us Now Praise Hu Jintao‘ (bless his cotton socks), is a real doozy. If I might be so bold as to quote from it:

[Hu] is a man of few empty words, preferring to let actions speak for him… He mingle[s] well with peasants, factory workers, retirees and students. He has been called “elder brother Hu” by millions of Chinese Internet users, a nickname denoting a strong sense of camaraderie and bonding; it is a genuine rarity in Chinese politics that the nation’s president can be identified as a “brother”.

Internationally, Hu has paid state visits to several dozen countries, lavishly doling out economic assistance without strings attached, signing trade agreements based on mutual needs, and offering technical assistance, especially in infrastructure construction, without getting involved in local politics. In some poor countries, especially on the Africa continent, he was hailed as a new descending “messiah”.

Under Hu’s administration, ably complemented by Premier Wen Jiabao, the reputation of China has soared to new heights. Never before in the history of mankind has a nation been under such tight scrutiny and attention by the rest of the world community, targeted for international intrigues and plots, mingled with jealousy, propaganda, innuendo, and outright lies about the Hu-Wen government, its policies, directions, and accomplishments.

… Even in its heyday, the US couldn’t muster such an awesome display of prestige.

Seemingly oblivious to the fact that Hu Jintao is known as the ‘Butcher of Lhasa‘ by the Tibetan people for his deeds there, Mister Chang goes on a bit more in this vein, and waxes poetic indeed on the great victories Hu Jintao enjoyed in dealing with the SARS epidemic, the 2003 Hong Kong crisis, the Anti-Secession Law (which targets Taiwan), and the Harmonious Society that is China. The best bit, however, is this:

Under Hu’s and Wen’s leadership, China’s international standing has reached a new plateau, winning new friends and admirers. Its status as a responsible stakeholder has been certified time and again… China has earned the title of worldwide infrastructure builder… the facts remain that the Hu-Wen government has fundamentally changed the world’s view on China and changed the world as well, something that is truly unprecedented in the history of mankind.

Michael Chang, I hereby award you the MyLaowai Handkerchief Trophy, with which you can wipe the poo off the end of your nose. I’m even throwing in some sunscreen, to prevent you getting burned by the sunlight streaming out of Hu Jintao’s arsehole.

Michael Chang:  Twat.

Posted in Lies & Damned Lies, Propaganda | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »


Posted by MyLaowai on Sunday, July 22, 2007

First there was MSN Messenger, which was wonderful, because it gave Chinese office employees a reason to go to work. It also opened up an entirely new avenue for IPR theft, which of course is always a good thing here in China. The problem though, was that MSN Messenger was a foreign product, and therefore out of the control of the Party. So along comes QQ, the Chinese copy, which is obviously far better because it isn’t foreign. It still permits graft, has native Pinyin (Chinese language) support, and best of all automatically blocks anything the Communist Party deems dangerous.

Recently, some Chinese hackers located a document within the QQ installation package. The file contains over one thousand words, most of them in Chinese, which will be blocked by the service.

Owned by Tencent, QQ is China’s most popular Instant Messenger service. On a regular basis, tens of millions of users use their service. Because of its high traffic volume, it is technically much harder to build in the key word filtering mechanism on the server’s end. Instead, Tencent sneaked in a filtering program file in their installation package at the client end. When a client installs the QQ2003 software on their own computer desktop, a program file, called COMToolKit.dll, is automatically included. This file contains all the forbidden keywords, which will be automatically blocked when the client runs QQ. About 15% of the words are sex related, the rest are all related to politics. About 20% of the words are Falungong related, including [master] and [disciple]; about 15% are names of current officials and their relatives; about 10% are words used in the liberal political discourse such as “democracy”, “freedom”, and “dictatorship”; and about 5% are related to certain nationalistic issues, such as [defend Diaoyu Island], [Sino-Russian Border], [selling out the country] etc. About 15% of the forbidden words are related to anti-corruption, such as,[smuggling], [public fund]) etc. Other censored words include names of dissidents, writers, and intellectuals, and names of certain foreign publications.

The full list is below. Please note that it is no longer in text format, due to the adverse effect this has on my ability to view my own blog in China. Therefore, it’s a Hi-Res JPG. Download and view to see the list.

Thanks to China Digital Times for the list and heads-up.


UPDATE: Want to know which words are blocked? Check This Out!

Posted in Censorship, Human Rights, Media | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

Cardboard Buns

Posted by MyLaowai on Sunday, July 22, 2007

A Story Of Delicious Chinese Food

As you may have heard, there was a story about a factory in Beijing that was using softened waste cardboard instead of pork as filling in its buns. The story hit the big time, then the Party decided to label it a hoax, and arrested the reporter who filmed the story.

Now, I’m not saying the story was true or not. I don’t know, I wasn’t there, and I never eat those horrible Chinese buns if there is anything else to eat (like an old boot, for instance). I will point out that cardboard as food is not a new thing in China, and indeed it was served up to prisoners a few years ago when food was scarce. Further, whilst the story may very well be a hoax, there’s this report from the Beijing TV Life Channel, on the ‘Degree of Transparency’ report:

Although the Beijing “cardboard buns” were proclaimed to be a fake news item, our reporter went out yesterday to the worksite at Number 13 courtyard in Shizikou village, Taiyanggong town, Chaoyang district and found out that the place was on full alert. Neighbors said that the place was occupied by small production outfits that made fake tobacco, fake wine, lousy-quality food and lunch boxes. But since the landlord had good connections at the town government, they always managed to pass inspections.

During the news gathering yesterday, our reporter was assaulted by unidentified persons. When the reporter called the Taiyanggong town government, the official stalled for time while calling the worksite director to warn about snooping reporters.

At the scene yesterday, our reporter observed that there was a high level of security outside number 13 in Shizikou village. There were uniformed security guards as well as unidentified men keeping watch.

When the reporter asked a cleaner where number 13 was located, the cleaner was immediately warned by a man not to talk. When the men found out who the reporter was, one of them came up to push the reporter around while threatening: “If you dare to go in, you better be careful that someone will beat you up.” The reporter called the Taiyanggong town government for assistance. The town deputy party secretary named Huang said that he does not know about what is happening. When the reporter asked the town government to send someone as company, the deputy party secretary said that all their party cadres are in meetings and therefore nobody can be dispatched. He asked the reporter to go by himself. He said that they would inform the village and the reporter can call the police if he feels that his personal safety is at risk.

When the reporter returned to Number 13 courtyard in Shizikou village, a woman told him that the town leader had just telephoned to warn them not to let any reporter in.

Frankly, I long ago stopped trusting anything I heard in this Godawful place, and since Chinese food is about as healthy as eating a dead rat wrapped in a mouldy blanket, I reckon cardboard buns would be better for you. Anyway, an independant experiment was conducted to see whether cardboard could be made to look like pork, and here is the result:

In each photo, one half is filled with pork, the other with softened cardboard. Which is which?

Mmmmmm….. Delicious.

(Thanks to Roland for the photo’s and news report)

Posted in Food, Media | Tagged: , , | 5 Comments »

Want To See My Nipples?

Posted by MyLaowai on Sunday, July 22, 2007

This post relates to the recent case against Oiwan Lam, who is fighting an indecency ruling by the Obscene Articles Tribunal for posting an artistic photo of a topless woman that she found on Flickr. If the ruling is upheld she could face a fine of up to HK$400,000 and up to one year in jail.

If you live in Hong Kong you will be aware of the latest uproar over how the Television and Licensing Authority (TELA) and Obscene Articles Tribunal (OAT) operate. At the Hong Kong book fair this week, a book depicting a classic French painting of Cupid kissing Psyche on its cover was nearly withdrawn from the Hong Kong book fair because TELA inspectors deemed it indecent.

Several media-related decisions by the Obscene Articles Tribunal in the 1990s have resulted in much confusion and criticism. The following three appeals lodged by the now defunct Eastern Express newspaper vividly illustrate the kind of unreasonable and unacceptable interference that the OAT could have on the daily operations of the media (Eastern Express Publisher Ltd v Obscene Articles Tribunal [1995] 5 HKPLR 247). In ruling on the appeals, a High Court judge sharply criticized the OAT saying, “These cases have, in my view, involved a great deal of waste of time, money and valuable resources.”

The first appeal concerned an OAT determination in 1995 that an advertisement in Eastern Express depicting Michelangelo’s statue of David was indecent. The OAT maintained that it was not appropriate for the newspaper to publish a photograph of a statue of wholly naked male body with the penis fully exposed. In allowing the appeal by Eastern Express, the High Court judge noted that he had never, until then, heard any sensible person suggested that the statue of David was indecent. He considered the OAT conclusion as “totally incomprehensible” and one which could not have been reached reasonably given that the advertisement was published on an inside page of a serious English-language newspaper and was clearly intended to be read by normal, reasonable adults.

– Yan Mei Ning, Hong Kong Media Law: A Guide for Journalists and Media Professionals

Well, if showing your nipples is what it takes to upset those bastards, then I’m game for a fight. Behold, netizens, and be amazed, as I expose my nipples for the benefit of the underaged public:


(Thanks to Rebecca MacKinnon and Roland Soong for the heads-up)

Posted in Censorship, Pornography | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

The Emperor’s Old Clothes

Posted by MyLaowai on Thursday, July 19, 2007

Chairman Hu Jintao and Premier Wen Jiabao were discussing what to do about the rising tide of civil unrest in the country. They had almost come to the point of admitting that there was nothing they could do except send in the Army again, when Wen had a brainwave!

“Hu,” he cried out, “why don’t we go on a tour of the country, disguised as peasant farmers. That way we can blend in with the common people and learn what they are really thinking. As Harmonious Communists it will give us great Political Correctness.”

Hu thought it was a wonderful idea, so they dressed themselves up in peasant garb, with shiny trousers rolled up above their knees, shirts that may once have been white but which was now yellow and stained, an old and poorly made double-breasted jacket apiece, slip-on shoes, and thatched rice-paddy hats to top it off. They also got themselves a small and very dirty pig and tied a rope around its’ neck as a leash, to complete the disguise.

And off they went into China, to be amongst their people.

The first day out, towards evening, they espied a ramshackle tea house near the edge of a small and humble hamlet. “Ah,” said Hu, “the perfect place in which to mingle with our people.”

They both shuffled up to the counter, at which was slumped an old peasant.

“Ni hao, comrades,” muttered the old peasant. “Cup of tea?”

Hu and Wen, feeling that a cup of tea would be just the thing, assented.

Shortly afterwards, an old woman entered, looked around, came up to the pair, and then studied the pig carefully. After some time she lifted up the pig’s tail, had a good look, then shuffled out the door into the evening. Hu and Wen exchanged mystified glances, then went back to their tea. Some minutes later, a peasant worker entered, ambled up to them them, glaced at their faces, then looked down at the pig. After a moments contemplation, he lifted the pig’s tail, took a close look, then ambled out again. This process was repeated again and again, and each time the two great Leaders grew more and more puzzled.

“Excuse me,” Hu finally said to the peasant currently lifting up the pig’s tail, “what are you doing? All night our comrades have been coming in, lifting up our pig’s tail, then leaving. Is this a traditional local custom?”

“No.” replied the peasant, “I was just investigating the rumour that in this ‘ere teahouse, there was a pig with two arseholes.”

Posted in You're Joking? | Tagged: , | 6 Comments »

This Is Your Life, Wang XianSheng. Part 2.

Posted by MyLaowai on Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Part 2 in a 3-part series on the life of Wang XianSheng, an ordinary citizen of the People’s Republic of China.

When last we saw Wang, he had, at the age of 27, just become a father. His wife, with whom he has a loveless relationship, was alone in the hospital and Wang was spending his misbegotten gains on a KTV hostess.

Wang’s life is a good one: he has an apartment (which he shares with his wife and parents), he has a television (everyone needs a hobby), and he has a son (so no more pressure from his parents in that department). He also has a job at a State-owned company (which allows him to earn a significant under-the-table income), and he has a mistress on which to spend it. Yes indeed, life is fine for Wang XianSheng.

The next few years are fairly uneventful for Wang. His wife is unable to find a new lover, so she continues to act the good wife at home, and keeps her normally sharp tongue in check. His parents spend their days taking care of his son and doing the housework, so he is spared the bother of having to worry about the chores, and his KTV hostess finally agrees to have sex with him. Wang installs her in a nearby apartment so that he can spend the evenings with her, instead of having to deal with his family.

Behind the scenes, though, trouble is brewing. His wife, from the first day of their marriage, has been slowly siphoning Wang’s finances into her own secret account. She, of course, sees this as only natural and if she ever thought about it, would argue that it’s the duty of every wife to do so. Nevertheless, she is a long way along the path of being able to leave Wang, and she has begun to press him to buy her a second apartment, as an ‘investment’. His mistress, too, is plotting for control of Wang’s finances, and has started to suggest that he should divorce his wife and put the apartment into her own name. Wang of course, hasn’t the courage to leave his wife, and hasn’t the integrity to stay. Although things could well continue on like this for some time, a confrontation is almost inevitable at some point.

Wang is thirty two when his father dies of a heart attack. This unfortunate event opens a wholly unexpected can of worms, as before the body is even cold, several of his uncles and cousins start squabbling for control of the assets, including the apartment. This is the beginning of a family feud that will last years, and although Wang will eventually win control of the apartment and ninety percent of his late fathers’ assets, it will be a pyrrhic victory.

Thirty four and Wang’s mother is diagnosed with gastric cancer. The doctors prescribe lots of different Chinese medicines for her, including anti-cancer herbs, qi (chi) tonics, blood-vitalizing tonics, and phlegm-resolving herbs, but nothing seems to help. Wang is told that she might need Western radiation treatment, which will be expensive. This requires a great deal of thought, as Wang is about to buy a car. A car will certainly show everyone he is a big man in the world, but on the other hand, his mother does do all the housework and raises his son for him. Eventually, Wang decides to beg some money from a relative for her operation, thus ensuring a win-win (two wins) scenario for himself.

Wang is thirty seven when the foreigner moves into his apartment building. Really, this is intolerable! Why can’t the foreigner go back to his own country? Wang quietly starts a one-man campaign to have the foreigner evicted, but he is unsuccessful. And fortunately so, as his wife points out to him one night, for his son is at school now and some free English language tuition would certainly be useful. Wang agrees, and asks a friend (who speaks a little English), to enquire as to whether the foreigner can give free English lessons to Wang’s son. The foreigner politely declines, and Wang is incensed – who does this laowai think he is, anyway? Doesn’t he know that Wang is an important man? China should be for the Chinese, and Wang vows to have the last word on the subject.

Thirty eight, nine months later, and Wang gets his last word, when he tells a friend in the Public Security Bureau that this foreigner regularly invites prostitutes back to his apartment. In fact, the foreigner is living with his Taiwanese girlfriend, but that all ends when the police knock on the door one night. The end result is that the girlfriend dumps the foreigner, who is asked to leave the country with a big red ‘Prostitution‘ stamp in his passport. Wang celebrates with a prostitute of his own.

Forty two, and Wang’s mother dies. Wang is devastated – how dare she? Wang has spent all his life caring for her, and now she leaves him with a son to raise and housework to do! Wang has never loved his wife or son, has never had real friends, and even his father was just a person who was there, but his mother, the only person he has ever trusted has finally, in the end, betrayed him. The fucking bitch. Who will look after him now? Two weeks after the funeral Wang’s mistress, seeing her chance, delivers an ultimatum: leave your wife and give me the apartment, or else. Wang, furious and unable to cope with the pressure, beats his mistress and tells her she is finished. Later the same day, he beats his wife and son, too. He is a big man, and nobody should dare to threaten him!

Forty three now, and things have settled down again. His mistress has left him for one of her other lovers, but Wang doesn’t care – she was getting old, there are plenty of other fish in the sea, and he has just had a promotion. Wang has been put in charge of approving applications for certain licenses. As a result, he can now earn more through graft every month than some of his colleagues earn in a year.

The next eight years are good for Wang. His son does well at school and then college, and though Wang isn’t sure exactly what his son studies, it is enough that he can boast of the boy’s success. His wife is still with him (having lost a lot of money gambling at the mahjong table, she can no longer afford to leave). And of course, he has the ‘respect’ of the community.

And it all ends for him one morning in August. At seven forty five in the morning, Wang XianSheng, aged fifty one, dies of a heart attack. Wang leaves behind a twenty four year old son and a forty seven year old widow. He never knew his son, never loved his wife. Wang XianSheng never had a true friend, never knew trust. He did not marry for love, nor ever understood the concept. He did not travel to other countries, and he never understood anything about the people who live there. He never thought thoughts that were truly his own. He never appreciated art or poetry, never understood philosophy, never read a book for pleasure. And though he spent virtually all of his life in the company of others, he lived out his existence completely alone.

Wang was not unusual, there are nearly a billion and a half other people just like him. He was a product of his society, and this was his life.

Part three coming soon…

Posted in Wang Xiansheng | Tagged: , | 11 Comments »

Strange Deformations

Posted by MyLaowai on Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Inbreeding is breeding between close relatives, whether plant or animal. If practised repeatedly, it often leads to a reduction in genetic diversity, and the increased gene expression of recessive traits, resulting in inbreeding depression. This may result in inbred individuals exhibiting reduced health and fitness and lower levels of fertility.Results of inbreeding:
Inbreeding may result in a far higher expression of deleterious recessive genes within a population than would normally be expected. As a result, first-generation inbred individuals are more likely to show physical and health defects, including:

  • reduced fertility both in litter size and sperm viability
  • increased genetic disorders
  • fluctuating facial asymmetry
  • lower birth rate
  • higher infant mortality
  • slower growth rate
  • smaller adult size
  • loss of immune system function.

(source: Wikipedia)

China has had, for the last 3,000 years, a population that seldom bred outside the confines of the village. Added to this, has been an ongoing program to cull from the herd any individuals that were, well, individual. Anyone who acted with independence – Chop! Anyone who showed courage in the face of Confucian ‘Authority’ – Chop! Anyone who had their own ideas about how society should be – Chop! The results of this culling program combined with the reduced size of the gene pool (now believed to be a small gene puddle), not to mention artificial genetic manipulation via environmental poisoning, are clear to anyone who travels outside the major cities: all kinds of weird and wonderful birth defects, low life expectancy, reduced variety in individuals.

I’ve seen the One Legged Man (who nonetheless sported three feet at the end of his one leg), whole tribes of Six Toed Dwarves, thousands of large facial moles sprouting luxurious lengths of hair, and vast quantities of birthmarks that make Mikhail Gorbachev’s inkspot look like a mere freckle.

All that pales, however, in comparison to the sight that greeted me yesterday: The Oddly Breasted Munchkin.

So, there’s this girl. She’s fairly short, not bad looking, otherwise indistinguishable from the sweating masses, except in one respect – her breasts are too low. Now, I don’t mean that they sagged, I mean that they were too low. Call me an old-fashioned kind of guy, but I reckon that having your breasts start at the bottom of your ribcage cannot be a good thing. Everything else was right – good cleavage, nice shape – but the altitude had me muttering “Pull up! Pull up!”. It was, honestly, something that I never expected to see and I hope I never see again.

The Chinese have a word for all these weird mutations. They call it ‘lucky’.

I think there’s something in that for all of us.

Posted in China, Environment, You're Joking? | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »

The Best Rant Ever

Posted by MyLaowai on Sunday, July 15, 2007

I received this as a comment on one of my posts. The spam filters caught it, oddly enough, which is a pity, because it really is classic stuff. It’s so good, in fact, that I gave it a page all to itself.

It starts off well, with this:

You white people capitalizing in China are fucking crazy. You fail to recognize the historical pattern and you will suffer for exploiting the Chinese:::
– Death Valley borax mines abused the Chinese and great misery befell them.
– The fisheries on Monterey’s Cannery Row exploited the Chinese badly. Cannery Row remains a rebar-studded, uncompleted eyesore for decades as a clue.
The gods are preying on you and using the evil company you work for to accomplish this. Everytime you exploit the Chinese you are losing time and priveledge on the other planets.

Asians are the gods most favored race. It is evident in their uniformity. It is evident in their cultures.
The gods place high barriers to entry for (some) Asians into the United States. This is yet another good example of reverse positioning, for the gods are really trying to protect those whom they grant favor upon.
There are no barriers to entry for Latinos.
When white people capitalize or exploit Asians they incurr and one day will be punished. This includes Chinese buffet restaurants, so prevalient in disfavored cities and the Southern United States, for the gods hate these people and want them to incurr.

The gods still make effort through the Chinese government to protect the Chinese people. We hear about it in the United States, their Manifest Destiny/reverse positioning is used to label it “human rights violations”, paving the way for cancer that is democracy.
Much as we saw in the United States regarding matchmaking, midwivery, female conservative dress and other topics, this tactic will slowly deteriorate this protection until China is completely infested with Westernization.

But then he really gets into his stride. Check out this:

The optimal ascention senario is when parents depart Earth with their young children BEFORE their minds are posioned by this society.

And this:

If I had my mind this thing would have been great. The gods are motherfucking control freaks, evident with the Italian boot.
More importantly they are CHEATERS, exhibit degenerate charecteristics and display no integrity.
Most importantly they positioned this so as few disfavored would be receptive as possible. The fact they set these “have-not” families up for their fall supports it.
Because of the weight, because of the height, because of Damien Omen, because of isolation, because of anal penetration, because of repression, because of exploitation, because of minimization I will NEVER EVER invest in this trillion-year-old filth that runs the show.
When you know you are going to lose you stay out of the fucking casinos.
I hope your worst nightmares befall you. I only wish I could do it to you.
How many heterosexual casual sex encounters does it take to equal one anal sex incident? 25?

Anyway, this guy seriously needs help. I’m talking the kind of help that only comes from expensive Harley Street surgeons, or possibly 9mm nickle-jacketed aspirin tablets. This guy not only has lost the plot, he threw away the entire script. Oh yeah, the wheel is spinning but the hamster is long dead.

So let’s all have a laugh at his expense, shall we? The full 10,246-word rant can be read here. Enjoy.

Posted in China | Tagged: | 3 Comments »

Yingsel, The Tibetan Antelope

Posted by MyLaowai on Thursday, July 12, 2007

Plagiarised from Yingsel 2008…

My Name is Yingsel.

I am a Tibetan Antelope.

I am known as YingYing in China and I was chosen to be one of the mascots for the 2008 Olympic Games.

I am announcing today that I have left the Chinese Olympic Team.

I can no longer stand to be used as a tool of propaganda by the Chinese government. It has been using me to cover up its violent and brutal oppression inside Tibet.

The Chinese authorities hope that by including me, a Tibetan antelope, in their public relations around the 2008 Olympics, that they can fool the outside world into thinking that Tibet is a part of China and that Tibetans are happy and prosperous under Chinese occupation.

China hopes a successful Beijing Games will mask the true nature of their authoritarian rule.

I’ve gone into hiding because it is not possible for me to speak out against the Chinese government safely as there is no freedom of speech in Tibet or China.

I call on all Tibetan antelopes, Tibetan people, friends, supporters and governments of the world to help me in my quest to restore human rights and freedom in Tibet.

Bod Rangzen. Tibet will be free.



Posted in Annexed Territories, Media, Olympics | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »