You will, as you travel about the globe, notice that in every language there are words that have been ‘imported’ from other languages. This is quite normal and understandable. We do it in English all the time. There are many reasons why this happens, but in most cases it’s because the new word expresses something in a way the host language either cannot, or does not do as effectively. The new word eventually becomes part of the host language.

Chinese is no exception, and a great many words have entered their language from abroad. Many of these words were originally English. The Chinese, however, because of the dysfunctional way in which their so-called language ‘works’, are forced to use childish pictographs to represent things, and in the process the actual meaning of the words is irrevocably changed. Thus, “telephone” becomes 电话, which means “electric words”. “Animal” becomes 动物, or a “moving thing”, and “motor car” becomes 小汽车, or “small steam car”, which is ridiculous. The list is long, and sometimes the translation manages to retain some of the meaning, but in most cases it becomes something utterly meaningless.

Why does this happen? Simple: Because a primitive language that cannot easily evolve to cope with new concepts is therefore one that is unable to properly express ideas that are more advanced than it is. It cannot keep up with the times. That is why science, literature, art, mathematics, and all the rest are so poorly expressed in Chinese. It’s why their poems and novels are so childish, why they don’t understand that the stars and the sun are actually the same thing, why melamine is seen to be a nutritious and delicious food additive for the young, and so on. Crikey, they don’t even have a proper way of saying “yes” or “no”.

But at least they try, bless ’em. They don’t actually try in the way that the Koreans or the Vietnamese or the Japanese did, by reinventing their system of little pictures to make allowance for an Alphabet, because that’s what the barbarians from across the big water do, but they do try in the sense that they continue to attempt to force the same square peg into the same round hole again and again. And, sometimes it works.

However, if you listen to folks talking, and especially the young, you soon discover that this tired old method just isn’t enough – some concepts are simply too alien to the Chinese mindset to be incorporated into their ‘language’. When this happens, in many cases they simply insert the English word into the sentence. They have to, because they could never express it in Chinese in a million years. Here’s an example:

什么什么无聊的谈话无聊无聊Cooperation无聊废话什么Working Together什么无聊的谈话无聊无聊Caring无聊的谈话.

Or how about this:

无聊Healthy Food废话钞票钞票钞票钞票Being Nice To Other People房地产无聊Microsoft Excel无聊的谈话无聊无聊.

Or this one:

废话钞票钞票什么钞票什么钞票After You什么无聊的谈话Love废话房地产Personal Hygiene钞票废话房地产.

There’s still some hope, after all. I think there’s something in that for all of us, don’t you?