It’s big news: little Wang Yue Yue, the “two-year-old girl in southern China, who was run over by two vans and ignored by 18 passers-by”, has died. Every newspaper and television station in the world, it seems, has picked up the story. The thing is, most of them seem to have left a few points out of their analysis…

1. Yue Yue. This means ‘Happy Happy”. What the hell kind of parents name their kid “Happy Happy”? Were they really that fucking short of ideas? Or did they just not give a shit what their kid was called as long as he/she/it could grow up and earn a pension for them? Seriously, how crap must parents be to name their loin-spawn “Happy Happy”? The mind boggles.

2. What was a two-year-old doing playing on the road? The road, where trucks and stuff go driving past. You know, where two-year-old kids could be, for example, run over. Did the parents just kind of not appreciate that two-year-olds and roads are not a brilliant combination? Huh?

3. Is there anyone in the world who believes for a single second that this doesn’t happen every day in China? If so, you are a touch naive, my friend. This is how it works: Some baby / old geezer / idiot [delete as appropriate] wanders out into a street / highway / service lane. Truck / car / taxi runs them over. Said vehicle usually drives off, with the driver not being aware of the fact the the bump in the road was made of meat because he, too, is a fucking retard like all his shit-for-brains cuntrymen, but on the off-chance that the driver does know what happened, said vehicle will stop, reverse over the now-much-easier-to-hit target in order to make sure of the job, before then driving off. After all, a dead person is cheaper to pay out for than an injured one if you are ever caught, which you won’t be, because nobody actually gives a damn about anyone else. Home of civilisation my arse.

4. If “Happy Happy” had grown up, is there actually anyone who believes that she would have been any different? No. And why is that? Because she would have been a selfish, nasty, spiteful bitch like every other person she is likely to have met. In twenty years, it could well have been her behind the wheel.

5. There is not a single fucking person in China who actually gives one single, solitary groat’s worth of shit about this. Don’t mistake the “I’ve been shedding tears for this little angel for a week now” comments for actual truth. Even the parents, now that they know they will be well-compensated and can have a shot at a boy-child, are unlikely to care much. In fact, apart from some well-intentioned but foolish laowais, the only people in China who will even remember this in a week are the retards who were driving, but in two weeks they’ll have been executed for their organs, which will leave no one. But hey, by then we’ll have another story to distract the masses from their anti-government protests.

6. “Happy Happy”? I mean, really? Jesus that’s fucked. I’m still getting to grips with how fucktarded Chinese parents are. What the hell kind of a name is that? Really?

7. In other parts of the world, even stray dogs care more about each other than do Chinese for each other: YouTube video here
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HJTG6RRN4E&feature=youtube_gdata_player]

8. Various newspapers are prattling on about how this incident has “sparked a wave of soul-searching on China’s social networking sites”. Bullshit. Chinese people have no soul, and if they did, they wouldn’t be going to the trouble of searching it. If they had a soul, it would be small, dark, and slimy. It would smell of sulphur. I’ve never even heard of a Chinese actually giving a shit about anything that didn’t happen to them personally. Soul searching? Who are you trying to kid?

9. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but sad as it may seem that some kid has died, at least now it won’t breed another generation of the Enemy. Forget the One-Child Policy, what we need in this place is a No-Child Policy, rigorously enforced for, oh, about the next sixty years or so. A great many problems will then solve themselves, especially if you are Uighur or Tibetan or Vietnamese or Indian or… well, you get the point.

10. There is a lesson for all of us in this: Don’t play with trucks.
10.1 Also,: Don’t get injured in China.
10.2 And: Give your kid a name that isn’t crap. Fuck man, “Happy Happy”? I mean, really?