Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

My Wet Pussy Award – January ’08

Posted by MyLaowai on Wednesday, January 23, 2008

There are some people who, were this the post-WWII period, would no doubt be busy explaining themselves to UNWCC (the United Nations War Crimes Commission). I refer, of course, to those people who have gone over to the Yellow Side of the Force, and who have gone out of their way to provide support, aid and comfort to the Enemy.

Now, I’m not talking about just anyone here. Not at all. Businessmen who have suppliers in China are guilty of funding the regime, but I’m not referring to them in this post. Tourists who visit Red China are guilty of providing moral support to the regime, but I’m not referring to them, either. Those of us who live here are guilty of giving the regime credibility, but I’m not referring to us, either.

I’m referring to the small group of foreigners who actively seek out ways to support the Han Regime, who publicly side with the Chinese Communist Party on matters such as invasion (and genocide) in places like Mongolia, East Turkestan, and Tibet. People who publicly offered support to the regime in the days following the nationwide bloodletting that followed the butchery of Tienanmen Square just a few years ago. A great many of these sympathisers work (or have worked) in the entertainment industry, and most show their support by simply agreeing in public with the position the Han regime takes on anything and everything: They do television commercials in which it is agreed that [the few remaining] Tibetans are very happy with their lives, they do ‘learn English’ programs in which Uighur herdsmen are forced to say that China is their country, they do the ‘look at the stupid Laowai’ entertainment shows in which Han Chinese are shown to be superior to the nasty barbarian foreigners.

Most of my readers who are familiar with China, probably think they know where I’m going with this. “Ha ha ha”, you are thinking, “you’re about to have a crack at DaShan”.

Well, young grasshoppers, you’re not quite right.

It is true that Mark Rowswell, known throughout Red China as DaShan, is as guilty as they come. As the best-known of the apologists he is an easy and highly visible target for anyone to take a shot at. Which is why I’m going to introduce to you one of the lesser-known, but no less traitorous, sympathisers…

Daniel Newham

Daniel Newham is, according to his website, “one of the few Westerners both lucky and skilled enough to study the intriguing art of Kuaiban” [which is ordinary talking in the usual way, but with a bit of a rhythmic pattern. Not terribly hard or clever]. His self-proclaimed ‘Fan Club’ boasts four members, three of which are pre-pubescent Chinese girls and the other is himself. But most of all, he does Entertainment For The Han Regime.

Check this out, and see if you can find all the things he does that are morally wrong (I stopped counting at 100):

As one of the seven comments on Daniel’s blog says:

Posting moody black and white photographs of yourself in an attempt to look better won’t change anything. You are and most probably always will be a deluded, talentless, and arrogant dick. You should have stayed at Durham.

Daniel Newham, it is my pleasure to present you with the MyLaowai Wet Pussy Award for January 2008. And we all know what ‘Wet Pussy‘ is an allegory for, don’t we?

My Wet Pussy, January 2008

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15 Responses to “My Wet Pussy Award – January ’08”

  1. PiPi said

    I, as a Barbecue Barbarian, second, third and fourth that emotion. Toss the wet pussy on my BBQ.

  2. FOARP said

    Thi guy wins my nomination for president of the United States of Dorksylvania. By the way, the creep known as Dashan’s real name is Mark Roswell, Mark Eastman is this guy: http://markeastman.livejournal.com/

  3. BJD said

    I’ve seen this cunt in action on the TV. It shames me that he is British. I think I want to stamp him to death.

  4. Hunxuer said

    Big Cow????

    Fuck…he should have killed himself years ago…

  5. PiPi said

    You know, if WordPress wasn’t blocked in China, I’d read this shit more often :-)

  6. MyLaowai said

    @FOARP: You are correct. My bad. Hell, it isn’t like I didn’t know that, but these foolish errors are bound to creep in if one writes with one hand, whilst sharpening one’s tactical knife with the other.

    Thanks for pointing it out. As a special reward you win a lifetime membership to this blog, FREE and GRATIS!

  7. Neddy said

    Sorry coming late to the party, but I was too busy spreading the word of it.

    So, all my thumbs up… err, how many is that? One, two… Anyway, thanks for the post, and I hope there’ll be more of this (I won’t quote PiPi) soon.

  8. FOARP said

    @Mylaowai – I’m so honoured! Does this mean I can now visit Club Mylaowai with my jerkoff friends, drink vast amounts of VSOP mixed with green tea and ice whilst fondling some FOB (fresh of the bus) 18 year-old girl from Anhui and then just flash my membership card like some corrupt government official?

  9. MyLaowai said

    Pretty much. Yep.

  10. FOARP said

    Hot diggity! Mine’ll be a Johnny Walker’s and tea with ice, piss-water strength if you please bar keep!

  11. Tom said

    I did a google search and then a baidu search of Daniel because I thought there would be some funny stuff about him.

    The results were pathetic. For someone who is supposed to be famous and has appeared on TV a few times, there is barely any mention of him. Just a few Chinese girls saying they didn’t like his smile.

  12. Lily Wang said

    Such a Rasist Cunt! You are.

  13. Daniel said

    Daniel is featured here:

    http://www.vipstar.cn/resume/daniu

    His first major acting roal was in ‘Toad of Toad Hall.

  14. pete said

    you are the biggest dickface i have ever come across. ofcourse we have met, but you are not intelligent or reflective enough to drop your obvious jealousy and just get on with your own life. i have momentarily forgotten your name, friend of richard, but i wish you well. just grow up.

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    blog, this blog is in fact amazing.

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