Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

“It’s too cold”

Posted by MyLaowai on Saturday, January 26, 2008

Where I live:

A. Concrete tower with no insulation (the normal situation).

B. It is snowing outside.

Problems I currently am experiencing:

1. When I turn on the electric heaters, the circuit breakers kick in.

2. When I turn on the A/C unit, it refuses to supply hot (or even warm) air.

3. When I use the gas-fired water heater to have a shower, it shuts off after three minutes, and takes up to ten minutes to restart.

Why are these problems occurring? Simple. “It’s too cold”.

Think about that for a second – “It’s too cold”. Just think it over for a moment. What the fuck is wrong with a society that doesn’t question the basic assumption that heating systems should malfunction when it is cold?

Er, so sorry if this sounds all neo-colonial and Western-superialist, but isn’t that exactly the fucking time when you need heating to work? I have three, independent, systems for getting some heat in my (overpriced and uninsulated) home, and none of them work because “It’s too cold”.

I’ve had it. I really have. Blood will be shed this day, so help me God I’ll do it.

In the words of T.E. Lawrence: “No prisoners! No prisoners!”

6 Responses to ““It’s too cold””

  1. PiPi said

    You live south of the Yangzi river. Why do you need heating? The great powers that squat above the gilded throne declared those south of the great river to be living in temperate areas and in need of air conditioning during summer only. This is winter, it’s not cold down here and you don’t need heating. Put an extra jumper on and think of the comrades up in Heilongjiang province who are dealing with really cold weather. Thinking of them and their great sacrifice shall only make you feel warmer. Stop being so bloody selfish you soft skinned Laowai. Think not what this great country can do for you but what you can do to fuck this great country up.

    Open a window and breath in that pure, crisp, sulfurous winter air and remember – it could be worse. Though I can’t fucking imagine how!

  2. Hunxuer said

    The beauty of owning vs. renting? A heat capable a/c in EVERY freaking room that can crank it up to a toasty 30 degrees.

    And…super hot heat lamps in the bathroom so when you step out of the shower…bathed in warmth…ahhh….

    But I digress…I am writing to you from Hawaii at this moment.


  3. MyLaowai said

    @Hunxuer – If there’s one thing I hate more than a smug git, it’s a smug git who is in Hawaii. I shall be preying to the Volcano Gods tonight, that you get yours.

    Did that sound at all like envy?

  4. The floor heating fucked off today, so we called the management office.
    Knobbie comes and get’s it going again somehow, but not without commenting that ‘it could stop again anytime, because it’s too cold’.

    In China this makes perfect sense of course. Alone for the fact that it doesn’t. 5000 years and still developing, eh?

  5. BJD said

    I refer the honorable MyLaowai to “On How I Fisted Gong Li” at Sinocidal. Reports of -26 in Urumqi – I’d have been freezing my knackers off. As it is I’m all cozy in bed, just five minutes from a proper supermarket and fifteen from the Peak District.
    I say knock off your landlord’s lower mandible with a big fuck-off wrench.

  6. Neddy said

    So far I have been able to avoid winters in China by hopping from there to Oz, and back again on seasonal basis. If I don’t manage to do that the next time round, you may have to hold a wake for me – “northernish” Liaoning may not be Siberia, but it surely ain’t “south of Yangtze” !

    A note: Here is a good one about things working (or not) – a post on Froogville: It’s a funny old world.


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