Creative Solutions Inc.
Posted by MyLaowai on Monday, June 27, 2011
As anyone with several neural connections knows, China is a land of many, err, challenges. From an under supply of harmonicas, to an over supply of river mud crabs, we need to find creative and novel solutions. However, dealing with the, err, issues here is a difficult task being that they are so multitudinous. So ideal solutions should solve several problems at once.
We warmly invite our valued readers to find some new ideas.
To get the ball rolling, I have devised a few solutions.
The Cunt Flavoured Beer Company
No, we don’t mean it tastes like Hu Jin Tao. We mean it tastes like bearded clam, fur pie, muff… This product solves two problems at once: the lack of flavour in Chinese swill, and the lack of desire in Chinese men to please their women. Investors are eagerly being sought now.
The RMB Toilet Paper Company
Reduces paper usage, removes poor quality notes from circulation thus reducing inflation as there is less money moving around. Also reminds us that anything that can be bought with RMB is probably shit anyway. Investors needed.
We were going to try and introduce Moral Sensitive Sunglasses, but the prototypes never become translucent within the mainland. Hope you can devise some more.
Wo Shi Laowai - Wo Pa Shui 
Chinese Netizen said
“黑考磕 magic colored, permanent black shoe polish” for single, lonely, uneducated, manual laboring, Chinese men in Africa building friendship and harmony with their black brethren and sistahs.
Smear a dollop of this onto your little yellow john thomas and impress the native women with plates in their lips and bones through the nose. Once the gals fall for Mr Wang of China Everrich Polyglot Construction, Mining & Holding Company, he needn’t go back to his shithole village in Jiangxi or Sichuan to try to find a virtuous Chinese girl that he cannot buy an apartment for or support a family with. He’ll stay in the Dark Continent forever, thus easing the population strains in the Motherland and having a woman that will appreciate him!
Dave in Macau said
Oooh, I could do with some Moral Sensitive Sunglasses. I’ve got a space for those on the shelf next to my Joo Janta 2000 Peril Sensitive Sunglasses ;)
Zhangzhongnan said
funny again.our teacher have good speak with us yesterday.i tell you foreigners.white race is inferior to chinese race and must be serve to chinese race.we all agree.chinese are most handsome and pures and have the big culture of all world and grow strong in short time by own power!.i finish study soon then i get rich and get white english butler for my house and white woman for my pleasure.chinese race is best.the world is chinese very soon and you serve us very soon and live chinese way the best way in world.you wait.
Long Long Time Been Here said
“Yeah, well if you could move your desk down to storage room 2b that would be great”
Love that movie!
I think Zhangzhongnan is a little high on himself. Maybe spent to many a lonely night in the netbar alone without a woman’s touch.
Zhangzhongnan said
i not go to netbar.i work hard and study and know many things about the foreigners.you make joke of me but no use.you lose at end and later you regreting.we love by heart out teachers in universirti becauyse they are chinese and very wise.not so primiteive like your teacher in your country.i speak about China.we make telephomne and car in 20 years and radio and solar and everything so much in only 20 years when great dengxiaoping open great chinese power to world.you foreigners need 100 years to develop phone. but we chinese did in 2 years. car also, and plane and high fast train,modern house, stealth fighting, go to space, best country and internet.so many things!!!.we chinese make everything more faster than you!!! you need 100 years, chinese peoples need 1 year! now you see power of China and people and party of our great harmony people and leader nation CHINA! you see?i like the race talking in my class and we seeing that chinese race is genetically superior and white race must go away because no use for world and no bring things to world. and also ugly and stupid.i look uppon all foreigners in street and proud to be Chinese and my pure best blood.chinese race also is proving: chinese get more whiter in future now.you see???see tv!!! haha, you see we are advancing.we advance in all things while you foreigners declineng and China buy your country too.then we start mixing our blood with white woman according to chinese culture and OUR ideas! to have one day our goal:chinese han race in all world with the white skin to be master and leader!this is way of China!noone can stop the CHINA!!!!!!!!!!long live The china peoples and best culture and the civilisation number 1!
0112337 said
You ridiculous, foreign, non-chinese, idiot. Are you insulting the intelligence of other foreigners who know you are NOT Chinese?
So ridiculous.
Zhangzhongnan said
i try post picture but this webpage very stupid.in our race study class we compare foreigner white skull with the chinese skull and we see many difference.the skull of white foreigner is smaller than chinese this means brain of foreigner,(the black and white and all peoples of all world) is smaller. also they more to monkey evolutionary stage than the modern and the human highest civilisation high devloping species,the chinese peoples.also we test blood of white foreigner with chinese blood and we find chinese blood is stronger and have more white celss so stronger and better than white blood.we agree all in the class: foreigner is the subhuman and inferiors to chinese.not only by blood but also by culture and inventions for world.
Long Long Time Been Here said
haha, yes I see a lot of similarities with Chinese people’s skulls and neanderthal man, as for the skin colour, I agree it makes you more superior bleaching it, why didn’t I think of that.
Long Long Time Been Here said
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you……………………………..