Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

2015, Hurry Up!

Posted by MyLaowai on Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Well, it’s been a busy year. And it was a busy December for myself and Team MyLaowai as well. The rest of them have all buggered off to more civilized parts for Christmas, so it’s just me left to run things for now. And although I’ve been busy, the factory has been a bit quiet so I even gave the dregs of humanity that call themselves my “workers” a day off for Christmas – well, a mere six hour shift, with an extra bowl of rice for lunch.

We did have a visit last week from a Japanese client, whose company is also a supplier for various parts we use. The “workers” were given clear instructions as to how to behave when he arrived for the obligatory factory tour, but I’d gotten wind that a potential rebellion was in the works, so I went prepared. Upon his approach, they were to take two paces back from their workbenches, bow to him, and stand respectfully and in silence until he had passed by. The first one didn’t bow, so she immediately joined the unemployed. The second one also didn’t bow, so he joined his former colleague in the walk of shame to the front gate. By the time we got to the third workbench, discipline had been restored, and my client had had his faith in me renewed. And the shift leader bowed so far he almost bloody nearly hit his head on the floor, so he got a Christmas bonus. So, a job well done.

Now, you may think that tough. But it isn’t all roses for me, you know. For instance, the Aston has been in the shop for a service and new tyres, but the tyres have so far taken over two weeks to arrive and they aren’t here yet. Oh yes, sure, I have a loan car (the shop owner’s Jag), but it just isn’t the same, and for the first couple of days I actually had to use the company van to get to work! So, don’t come moaning to me about how hard my employees have it.

Anyway, the MLHQ girls are also off on their Christmas Hols, so I didn’t have a picture for you this year. Sorry about that, but I did manage to find this one of Julia. She’s a single Russian girl on a dating website, and she looks to me to be just the sort of stocking filler you are all no doubt wishing Santa had given you instead of that pair of socks from your mother.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of you from me, and the entire MyLaowai Team.


9 Responses to “2015, Hurry Up!”

  1. Spaniard said

    lol** happy new year from your Spanish fan mylaowai. long live catholic Spain and down with the english protestant pirates. I am kidding…(luv your blog) :-D ¡Feliz Año Nuevo!

  2. Spaniard said

    the chick on that pic reminds me of my english ex…she was hot ;-)

  3. Willi T said

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Email sent….

  4. Tex said

    I’m still waiting for the movie of ‘The Life of Wang’

  5. Chinese Netizen said

    Keep fighting the good fight!

    • MyLaowai said

      Still have plenty of ammo, trouble is the trigger finger is getting tired…

      • Spaniard said

        Our english pirate is starting to get lonely in fucking dirty china. He is even posting at wtdevflnt.wordpress.com now (twice in a row!!). Should we be worried about MyLaowai now? Is he depressed in beautiful China? Our ol’ english pirate is maybe suffering a food poisoning? (impossible! China has the greatest and cleaniest bio food in the whole universe! No human flesh, feces and pig anus included! The great leader Kim Xi-Jinping guarantees it!) Yeah sure. Forget the chinggg..ese, Mylaowai. Grab your fucking money for Gods sake and leave that shit hole. I did it long ago and I have never regretted leaving the sick man of Asia and its sick so called (non existent) “culture” and great clean air (smells great from 10 pm to 10 am) and shit food (always good for an hour long diarrhea). Jesucristo, I really don’t miss that hole. I swear. China is doomed, mate. I love Japan now ;-). Take what you can and leave. You are welcome on my Finca. Hasta luego :-).

      • MyLaowai said

        wtdevlnt is a subscriber who occasionally re-posts things from here on his site. Not me.

        Wish I was in Japan too…

      • Spaniard said

        wtdevlnt has a great blog. he mostly quotes articles from news sources (i.e. wantchinatimes and others) with a short own intro text. his blog seems to be more lively than yours and the comments there are great and very true.

        everything he writes about beautiful, clean, innovative, cultural, courteous, civilized, smart, clean, great, super great, glorious, whiter than whites, brave, honest, moral, superior, creative china is true. i love his blog too.

        keep up the good work pirata. keep fighting. and write more often. china is the land of depression, corruption, prostitution, shit, cancer, cannibalism, death, deceit, lies, thievery, failure, inferiority complex and “cultural” revolutions. the middle toilet is an anachronism. sick to its core and doomed to fail.

        leave it for the sake of your health guys. and i mean all of you expats. china is what it always was: a coward and primarily a parasite feasting on the world’s resources (i.e.wasting them to produce shit products) and on your own stupidity. oh and don’t touch death and blood sucking narcissistic psychopaths aka chinese “women”. you have been warned…

        Good luck MyLaowai :-)

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