Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

The MyLaowai.com Webstore

Posted by MyLaowai on Saturday, March 6, 2010

The Award-Winning Blog just got better, because now it’s for Rich Folks as well! MyLaowai now has a range of gear for you and the special Laowai in your life. See the cute heart over to the right? Click on that, and be amazed as modern technology whisks you away through the interweb pipes, and deposits you at the MyLaowai Webstore.

Got questions? Good. We like questions. But don’t trouble me with them – go here instead.

The MyLaowai Webstore – where we love you long time.

One Response to “The MyLaowai.com Webstore”

  1. RecoveredSinoholic said

    Will be back in Zhongguostan (2/11). Drunken Post-New Year rant from Greater Hualand, USA (San Gabriel Valley):

    A trip to a Chinese shopping mall (either in the U.S. or China):

    1. Spend 20 minutes scoping out potential parking spot. When one is finally found, position car like battle tank to get in spot ahead of 4 others waiting for it as well (parking lots are never large enough; they are considered waste of valuable space).

    2. Locate rusty cart with wobbly wheels, always left scattered every and any where in parking lot.

    3. Enter store. Be greeted by the familiar fragrance of dying lobsters, crabs, fish, turtles and stale aquarium water.

    4. Try to negotiate your way through the tiny aisles (aisles are, after all, another waste of valuable space!), and weave around old tottering ladies and customers comparing 5 brands of junky dishwashing liquid to see which one is a half cent cheaper per ounce. Of course, they are oblivious to your or anyone elses’ presence.

    5. Time to get in line to make your purchases. Ignore hand baskets “left in line” by shoppers who have gone back out to get something they forgot and who think that by leaving the basket on the floor they are saving their place in line.

    6. Find something to do while all the sour-faced customers (they have children so they must occasionally get laid, why do they all look so miserable?) pull out their 50 coupons apiece, and count out $5 in nickels and dimes.

    7. After finishing purchase from surly cashier, politely ask old man who is blocking you to please kindly move his cart so that you may leave.

    8. Weave cart towards exit door around all the customers who have parked their carts in your way while they raptly stare at their receipts like they are their favorite Buddhist Sutra.

    9. Get in car. Breathe deeply. Count to ten. Resist urge to run someone down as you leave parking lot and listen to the music of honking horns as drivers maneuver their cars to be the first in the spot you have just vacated.

    Happy New Year!

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