Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

Eye on Expo

Posted by MyLaowai on Monday, April 5, 2010

I received an email over the weekend from a reader, asking me for my thoughts on the upcoming Expo. My first thought was: “What Expo?”. Well, my crack team of researchers here at MLHQ got busy and imagine my surprise when they discovered that China is holding a so-called ‘Expo’ in May! It was quite a shock, I can tell you! To start with, not one of us had heard a thing about it, and we honestly wondered whether this was an elaborate April Fool’s joke of some sort. I mean to say, normally with these big propaganda events, the entire thing is thrust in your face like a big face-thrusting thing, but this little number slipped by, completely under the radar. Mind you, it turns out we weren’t the only ones to miss it – even the United States didn’t know anything about it until just a few weeks ago, when one of their chappies in the State Department overheard a conversation at the Chinese Embassy.

Well folks, we got busy finding out what this ‘Expo’ thing is all about, and have put together a short series of posts for you, designed to give you the essential facts.

To start with, the general theme of this ‘Expo’ is “Better City, Better Life”. And it certainly represents a Better Life for some twelve and a half thousand citizens who have been forcefully relocated to a Better City far out in the countryside, in order to make way for the various pavilions. The Chinese pavilion is, of course, going to be the most magnificent structure in the history of buildings, as it is an enormous red pyramid standing 5,000 feet high (one foot for every year of glorious history, I’m told).

However, at a Press Conference held this morning, the coolie in charge of construction admitted that he had been looking at the blueprints upside down, with the result that the entire thing is now perched precariously on it’s point. “However,” he went on to say, “the pyramid is as safe as any other building in Chinese history, so you don’t need to worry about it.” And, upside down or no, we here at MLHQ are all convinced that the pyramid is way better than anything else within fifty yards of it. Here’s what it looks like:

Expo 2010: Better City, Better Life. But just not for anyone we know. So, to all you crazy kids out there in interweb land, stay tuned for the next instalment of Eye on Expo, same Bat Time, same Bat Channel.

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8 Responses to “Eye on Expo”

  1. Chinese Netizen said

    Expo?

    I also heard something about an Asian Games going on this year in South China’s Guangzhou, but seriously, who would waste time participating in a “games” where the Chinese will win 99% of the medals with their second string Olympic teamers and chess is, yes…CHESS, is one of the “sports”!?!?!?

  2. ‘April Fool’s joke’, if it only were true. because they only last one day, and not 6 fucking months :(

  3. If it weren’t because many things in this world are possible… I wouldn’t believe what you are saying. You really did not know??? Maybe since I am in Shanghai, I am overloaded with information about this. But I haven’t met anyone before who said that did not know!!! That’s really strange. Do you read local newspapers? China Daily at least?

  4. justrecently said

    I guess you are still not explicit enough for all of your readers, Mylaowai. There’s too much between the lines. I suppose it’s either time to become more outspoken, or to keep leaving some commenters unheedingly in the dark.

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