Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

The Immigrant

Posted by MyLaowai on Friday, July 15, 2011

A Chinese man decides to move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He buys a small piece of land near to Mt Isa.

A few days after moving in, the friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region, but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about ten hens. Not wanting to interrupt these ‘Chinese customs’, he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drink it.

Not wanting to interrupt another ‘Chinese custom’, he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day. A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man lead a bull down the drive-way, pause, and then put his head next to the bull’s bum.

The Aussie bloke can’t handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says “Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs?

I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood, and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass, and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull’s bum, it could just about shit on you.”

The Chinese man is very taken back and says “Solly sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I doing, these Australian Customs.”

“What do you mean mate?” says the Aussie, “Those aren’t Australian customs.”

“Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me” replied the Chinese man. “He say to become true Australian, I learn to chase chicks, drink piss, and listen to bull-shit.”

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One Response to “The Immigrant”

  1. Chinese Netizen said

    And after I become a full fledged Aussie, I get hired to work back in my homeland for a big Aussie company where I will be promptly arrested for espionage and dealing with Chinese state secrets because it is so much easier for Chinese authorities to shit on their own rather than the White Man.

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