Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

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About Lemmings

Posted by MyLaowai on Wednesday, April 2, 2008

For the benefit of the ‘people’ over on the Chinese Forums, here is a post about lemmings. Note that this is not a post about Han Chinese, although if you choose to believe that it is, then be my guest. China might not be a free country, but this is a free blog, and the MyLaowai Central Committee has ruled that readers may interpret this post in whichever manner they like.

The Private Life of Lemmings.

A lemming is a small, weak animal of the rodent family that exists primarily to eat, shit, reproduce, and make a lot of high-pitched noises. They look rather cute from a distance, but up close their buck teeth and nasty smell is actually rather offensive. They are closely related to rats, and like rats, will eat just about anything at all (including things that other animals wouldn’t even consider food).

The behaviour of lemmings is much the same as that of many other rodents which have periodic population booms and then disperse in all directions, seeking the food and shelter that their natural environment cannot provide, because it has all been used up.

Every few years (in human terms, every couple of decades or so), lemmings mass for invasions of neighbouring habitats. Their behaviour grows ever more violent and they begin the march to conquer as much of the world as they can. Individuals who don’t go along with the herd are either killed, or trampled in the mad rush. The lemmings keep on going until they are finally stopped by natural barriers, or as we humans would say, by reality. The fact is, that the entire world really has no desire to be over-run by lemmings, and nature has cleverly arranged it so that the lemmings themselves are incapable of becoming the dominant mammal species on the planet.

It has been observed that the behaviour of lemmings whilst on the march is similar in outward respects to what we humans would call bravery, but that is misleading – if indeed lemmings could be said to have bravery, then it is the bravey of the mob. Individual lemmings are in fact notoriously weak and chickenshit, running from any and all fights with other animals. Attempts to anthropomorphise the animal are in any event flawed, as lemmings do not possess human emotions such as love, pity, compassion, or other feelings.

That said, let us not judge the lemming too harshly – after all, they are just being lemmings, doing the only thing that they know how to do.

I think there’s something in that for all of us, don’t you?

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33 Responses to “About Lemmings”

  1. Neddy said

    And I was wondering what was on your mind, telling us things about lemmings. Well, apart from, um… you know what…

    Then I went through your Top Posts, and I saw this squillion of lemming turds all over the place. Was it something you said, that hurt their feelings?

  2. MyLaowai said

    Not sure what you’re talking about, Neddy. This is a post about lemmings, not about the rantings of some schoolchildren who hate Americans.

    So, how about them Bears, huh?

  3. Call me Gui Lao (鬼佬) said

    hey gui-lao … don’t u think u are a bit too old for this ? having a bitching match with some school kids ?

    it is a reflection on you as much as on them …

  4. dont call me 鬼佬, call me stoogie said

    hey laowai, stoogie here .. mate of Mr Mariner .

    You guys are just plain nasty, you are testing me to see if u can turn me into a chinese nazi ( mr mariner is alarmed about the trend).

    This u will not suceed ( but i can’t say the same of my other younger compatriots though)… i may have moments of irrationality but i’m mostly calm cool and collected… inner peace u see inner peace..

    anyway here is poem i learned as a kid and I always remember it when my prejudice/inner demon try to get ahead of me, and I’m sure a learned man like u know this poem by heart.

    hope u find in it the strength to fight against ur own hatred (and Neddy .. would u just f*** off, u r just like one of those pricks on the sideline shouting “fight, fight” when there is a bit of stouch in the playground)

    I was angry with my friend:
    I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
    I was angry with my foe;
    I told it not, my wrath did grow.

    And I water’d it in fears,
    Night & morning with my tears;
    And I sunned it with my smiles
    And with soft deceitful wiles.

    And it grew both day and night,
    Till it bore an apple bright;
    And my foe beheld it shine,
    And he knew that it was mine,

    And into my garden stole
    When the night had veil’d the pole:
    In the morning glad I see
    My foe outstretch’d beneath the tree

  5. Neddy said

    In your dreams, stoogie, in your dreams… If I wanted a fix of stoking a free-for-all, I wouldn’t be here. That’s what the China Daily BBS is for.

    I do like your poem, however. Though I think it’s your younger compatriots (as well as some not so young) who should take it to mind, first and foremost. Actually, I’d say that here, you are preaching to the converted. I, for one, would not bother talking to you if I did not give a hoot (for mischief, I can always go to the abovesaid BBS, it is good for nothing else anyway). And when I talk nasty, couldn’t it simply be that I have seen something nasty, and speak my mind about it, because silence, to me, equals complicity? Has such an explanation of nasty foreigners’ behaviour ever crossed your mind? Can you, in fact, actually tell a friend from a foe? No, I don’t think so. Yet it does not take reading people’s mind to find out, only a modicum of critical thinking.

    Your little ‘nazi’ remark bears witness to that. One only needs to look at the Third Reich’s originals, and their alter-egos in Stalin’s Russia or Imperial Japan: It is always the powers that be, in their megalomaniac grand design, who mould their own people to their own ends, starting with the youngest. Fuelling ultra-nationalism, spreading xenophobia, keeping you too busy to think of what is being done to you, or why. No, I would not deride anyone worried about the trend. And if you care about China, you should be worried, too. Look at what happened to the three ‘examples’ above, how they ended and at what cost, and stop blaming everything on nasty outsiders.

  6. seaman's bro . . stooge said

    There are 101 reasons to justified hatred yet there is only one reason not to: compassion and understanding.

    When someone implies his missus’s kind rodent (what does it say about him for marrying one) or “pathetic little cunts with mosquito brains” (the extra words one stranded seaman), I see before me two twisted and bitter soul not some knights in shining armour.

    PS.. gtg and do some work…I’ll pen down a detail reply when I get around to it, watch this space…
    in the mean time, u can entertain urself with this little gem(just replace Western media with Mr Laowai/Mr seaman/Needy & friends:

    Who are the best friends of the CCP?

    They are Western media such as CNN and Western politicians such as Ms. Pelosi.

    The negative, one sided, and often Penthouse style “hard porn” sort of reports about China in the West easily offends a Chinese person. These reports make an average Chinese believe what Beijing told him or her that the West means harm to China just like the West has been in the past several hundred years. The strong nationalist feeling of many Chinese “inspired” and ‘strengthened” by the clumsy new coverage of Western media helps Beijing to rule this huge nation more effectively and more easily. Alas, outstanding editors, writers, and reporters with Harvard and Stanford degrees working at CCN, Time, and Washington Post! You all deserve a big medal of “outstanding communist party sympathizers” reward directly from the political bureau in Beijing!

    To be fair to the media, it might be a learning that has not happened. The media may have not learned how to deal with a highly interconnected world of worldwide TV coverage and omnipresent internet presence. Their content and delivery are both intended for a local audience. The worldwide impact may well be a side effect. Before the media learns how to behave in a global media marketplace, they have to focus on their primary local market where the primary income comes from.

    Western politicians also help Beijing to gain popular support in major ways. When Ms. Pelosi spoke out about violence in Tibet, did she express sadness and sympathy to the families that suffered tragic loss of lives and properties? Did she ever think about not to be offensive to 1.3 billion Chinese people while expressing her concerns over the Chinese government? Of course not, this was because her audience was those who elect her in the USA, not the Chinese people whose feeling was not really her concern. She may have a political need to show how tough she was too. However, It is too easy to say something aggressive about human rights and Tibet. It is a cheap shot and anybody can do it. Instead, it is extremely difficult to express strong concerns over human rights AND to make it clear that the USA wants to grow a constructive relationship with China and the USA respects and cares for the Chinese people. Compare her performance to what Mr. McCain said about the tragedy in Tibet and you will immediately notice the skillful balance and the political experience that Mr. McCain enjoys.

    It seems that some Western politicians would rather embrace extreme approaches. They either kiss up in Beijing or make dumb remarks or dumb moves that are deeply irritating to an ordinary Chinese citizen and help to drive him or her to the tune of Beijing. For example, Ms. Pelosi’s talk about “international investigation” may be insulting to many ordinary Chinese citizens and help them believe what they read in the official Chinese paper about US hostility. Every time, a US aircraft carrier “sailed through Taiwan Strait to avoid bad weather”, millions of young Chinese people become more supportive to Beijing’s plan of military buildup.

    As long as we have these super clever but very unwise politicians and strategists in DC, the Chinese Communist Party can lead the political and economic life in China forever, because our elected officials and “smart” media people are helping the Chinese Communist Party to achieve “national convergence with the central leadership of the Chinese Communist Party, especially when China is surrounded by hostile Western forces.” Maybe the CCP Central Committee is preparing a grand gala for some Western politicians and strategists as well as media gurus to thank them for their powerful and highly effective support of CCP leadership.

    Why the American or Western politicians and the media do this? They are not dumb actually. The politicians do cheap shots against China to win popular support at home. The media’s goal is to say whatever people in the West want to hear to make money. They all know clearly this is bad for the people whom they are trying to serve, but they do not really care. Well, maybe they do, but serving the people would be their secondary if not tertiary priority. Power and money must be the primary objectives.

    Democracy comes with a steep price. Myopic strategy and irresponsible political and military act to win popular support so as to hang on to power is one of the down-sides of representative political systems. While nothing in the world is perfect, these intrinsic flaws of Western style democracy have been proven to be costly, especially for a strong country that has a tendency of excessive reliance on military solution.

  7. friend or foe ...that's the question ...stooge said

    BTW, you want to know how I define a friend and foe, here it goes.

    For me and most of my compatriots, a friend is a laowai (friendly foreigners) who comes over to help us catch up with two centuries of development that we have miss out on (due to whatever reason), tell us the mistakes they made so we don’t repeat them.

    A foe is a gui-lao (foreign devil) who comes over for a bit of adventure, make heaps of money (or a little bit if they are useless) on the way, then tip a bucket of shit over our head and stirring up the inner demon in everyone here and aboard.

    This is much a choice for me as for you.

  8. BJW said

    I was on the Olympic flame protests in London yesterday – great fun.
    The whole thing was turned into a mockery, as it will be in Paris and San Fran.
    Long Live the Dalai Lama I say.

  9. stoogie said

    this guy had a dream .. and he is making it happend

    http://chinadigitaltimes.net/2008/04/the-torchbearer/

    chardonnay socialist like you dines on fine food and wine, gets a bit drunk, mutter a few dribbles about injustices in this world, have a bit of protest on the street when you feel like a bit of outing

    So what pratical things have you done to make world better ? carrying on like a pathetic 24 carret pissant?

    you really have no rights to tip a bucket of shit over other people’s head.

  10. MyLaowai said

    Really? A dream you say? There’s another bunch of peeps who spring to mind when the twin subjects of the Han Olympics and Dreams are raised…

    They’re the ones who stood with right arm raised when their nation rose up. Just like in Red China.

    Of course, the flip side is that there are a whole bunch of people who dream of kicking the Han out of their homeland, which was annexed by the Red Army a few decades ago. Those people would be the Tibetans, the Uighur, and the Mongolians. There are also a bunch of people who dream of life without the Red Threat hanging over their heads every day, and I’m not referring to just the people of Taiwan and Hong Kong, I also include most of China’s neighbors in that. Hell, ever since Hu Jintao, (a.k.a. the Butcher of Lhasa) made his arrogant little speech about China’s designs on Australia, people all over Asia and the Pacific have been rushing out to buy guns.

    Given China’s record of invading it’s neighbors every ten years or so, and exterminating the people living there (not to mention the 100+ million Chinese murdered by the Communist Party since it came to power), I don’t blame ’em one bit.

  11. MyLaowai said

    @dont call me 鬼佬, call me stoogie,

    I’m not entirely convinced that you fully understand that poem, if you are using it to defend peaceful intention. That poem actually sums up the Chinese view of the world perfectly: it isn’t something that talks about being nice at all.

    And what is that view? Hate quietly, prepare in secret, smile at your enemy and laugh at his jokes. Take advantage of his hospitality, break bread with him… Then put a knife in his back when you reckon you can get away with it.

    That’s the real danger China represents.

  12. stoogie said

    You-gui-lao … of all people, I would least expect you to be a loony left (which you are not).

    I have lots of respect for the real (non-loony) lefties, they stand on principle and speak out against injustices whether perpetuated by China, US, Israel or whoever. Whereas you are just anti-Chinese for the sake of anti-Chinese.

    You let your prejudice and hatred blinded you. You even call your wife a rodent.

    Shows what a 24 carat pissant you are, nothing more, nothing less.

    Stop carrying on like a pork chop and grow up.

  13. PiPi said

    HaHaHaHaHa – I did a post like that once, but the cute’ furry animals that I used as a subject of study were cats. It stirred up even more rancour, venom and hostile calls of ‘racist’ from all sides, but mostly from people who thought they were being clever and reading ‘between’ the lines – when in fact they were just pompous, flag waving pseudo-intellectuals from high school #47, Bit like stoogey.

  14. stoogie said

    @pipi,

    uhmmm … very funny indeed,

    this is a minority of people here who think they are clever and witty but the joke is on themself

    … who could that be ?

  15. BJW said

    Vive Les Francais!

    Another emabarrassing day for the blue tracksuited thugs and their Olympic Torch-ure.

    Next stop San Francisco.

  16. BJW said

    I have to add, those security guards looked like they were going to burst into tears on Sunday. You could see them thinking ‘Why does everyone hate us?’
    Too funny.

  17. Voice from China said

    Of course, the flip side is that there are a whole bunch of people who dream of kicking the Han out of their homeland, which was annexed by the Red Army a few decades ago. Those people would be the Tibetans, the Uighur, and the Mongolians.
    ——————

    Maybe Indian people also were and are not happy you guys occupy their homeland

    they can’t wait to kick you guys out of their homeland

    SO why you still stay at the North American land? this is called human right? for you or for Indian person? you shameful!!!!

    At the beginning, I guess you spreaded those stupid words out just because you were sick or got drunk, but now, I learn that you just need to improve yourself.

    THanks. Don’t go to China again, anyway, make yourself happier!

    If you guys DARE face the TRUTH, face what happened, face how you CNN were lying, maybe you are worth to be called “MAN”

  18. Voice from China said

    At the same time, maybe you didn’t learned this knowledge before, let me tell you: HAN people, who lived in China for thousand yrs, and always as a absolute main and major part of Chinese.

    You want to split Han and other Chinese? You just need to grow up!!

    We called: DA HAN, this is our pronunciation, means: Great Han.

    Pls remember. Thx

  19. Voice from China said

    At the same time, maybe you didn’t learned this knowledge before, let me tell you: HAN people, who lived in China for thousand yrs, and always as a absolute main and major part of Chinese.

    You want to split Han and other Chinese? You just need to grow up!!

    We called: DA HAN, this is our pronunciation, means: Great Han.

    Pls remember. Thx

  20. MyLaowai said

    @Voice from China:

    Another, more accurate, translation, would be: ‘Han Chauvinist’.

    And yes, we are all very aware that ‘Chinese’ means ‘Han’. It does not, however, mean ‘Tibetan’, Uighur’, ‘Mongolian’, ‘Taiwanese’, ‘Hong Konger’, ‘Korean’, ‘Hui’, or any of the other so-called ‘minorities’ that tha Han have enslaved or attempted to enslave over the years. Simply invading a country then claiming it has ‘always been Chinese since ancient times’ has no basis under law.

    Han xenophobia and chauvinism is no basis for ownership of another country.

  21. MyLaowai said

    @BJW: Kudos to you, brother.

  22. stoogie said

    @MyLaowai,
    you are definately right that Han xenophobia and chauvinism is no basis for ownership of another country.

    but European/White genocide/invasion DOES have basis under law, as shown in America, Australia and Canada. Just slaughter all the naives

    Errr …BJW asked ‘Why does everyone hate US?’ .. very good question…US and stooge.. the 2nd and 4th axis of evil.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7324337.stm … “World views US ‘more positively’ … got to hand it to them in the BBC, those poms really have a way with words

  23. Voice from China said

    MyLaowai said,

    ——————————————–
    Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 4:00 pm

    @Voice from China:

    Another, more accurate, translation, would be: ‘Han Chauvinist’.

    And yes, we are all very aware that ‘Chinese’ means ‘Han’. It does not, however, mean ‘Tibetan’, Uighur’, ‘Mongolian’, ‘Taiwanese’, ‘Hong Konger’, ‘Korean’, ‘Hui’, or any of the other so-called ‘minorities’ that tha Han have enslaved or attempted to enslave over the years. Simply invading a country then claiming it has ‘always been Chinese since ancient times’ has no basis under law.

    Han xenophobia and chauvinism is no basis for ownership of another country.
    ————————————-

    These words excellently explain and describe YOU GUYS ocupying Indian peoples homeland!!! Not our Chinese! so funny!

    We originated from that land, so we are so proud to say: that is my motherland, that is my HOME, my FAMILY, have you poor guys EVER can find any tiny feeling like this?

    NO, NO, NO! Becaust that is never your land, you home! So you guys never know what is a home, what is a family! Poor guys!!!

    and You know what, you guys maybe can be kicked out of the New land easily, because you only have 200 yrs history of invading and enslaving the original people there.

    So just pack and go out! quick!! leave the home for Indian people!

  24. Voice from China said

    Bye the Way, if U want to show yr respect, pls say: Thank you telling and teaching me so many new stuffs of China, YOUNG LADY!

  25. Voice from China said

    Or to say: thanks MAN from China!

    –welcome!

  26. Voice from China said

    hehe, THE LAW? whose laws? Your laws or our Chinese LAWs, or INdian people LAW?

    we are Chinese people, no way to put your laws to us!

    Indian people, I guess they will be glad to have their own independent law.

    For you, just hold you law, don’t thow them away! thousands yrs later, maybe your great law will help you not be kicked out of the earth!

  27. Voice from China said

    We originated from that great LAND, we didn’t occupy, invade other “country”, never! 56 ethnics groups live together happily!

    You didn’t feel any shameful or funny to say “invade” to other people?

    Isn’t this work perfectly describe how you white people did 200 yrs before, from Europe, the 1st MAY FLOWER went to the NEW LAND, then what you did?

    hehe, if I were you, I will go back home, quickly find sth. to cover the face, then hide at a quater of a dirty couch, thinking, thinking, thinking, then what? just keep thinking!

  28. MyLaowai said

    Perhaps you should ask some of thiose ’56 minorities’ how they feel about the subject. I know a lot of people that fall under that insulting label, and most of them hate the Han with a passion.

    Just because you can force them to wear ‘traditional’ clothes and dance for you at Communist Party Gala’s, doesn’t mean they will ever accept you in their various homelands.

  29. stoogie said

    yeh .. the Hans have a lot to learn from people like MyLaowai

    Those Europeans/whites. slaughtered most of the natives and make them a real “minority” in their own homeland. Since there aren’t many left, they aren’t able to make too much a farce to embarrass you.

    All the ones they didn’t bother to kill, just give them a swamp somewhere to live, give them a casino license and lots of alcohol.

    That would shut them up!!!

  30. Voice from China said

    MyLaowai said,

    Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 10:03 am

    Perhaps you should ask some of thiose ‘56 minorities’ how they feel about the subject. I know a lot of people that fall under that insulting label, and most of them hate the Han with a passion.

    Just because you can force them to wear ‘traditional’ clothes and dance for you at Communist Party Gala’s, doesn’t mean they will ever accept you in their various homelands.

    —————-

    Maybe you should ask most Chinese person how they feel about the subject.

    I read some news that Indian people really hate you guys with a passion

    Just because you can force them to wear ‘United’ clothes and dance for you at withe people’s Gala’s, doesn’t mean they will ever accept you in their various homelands

  31. Voice from China said

    also, don’t forget forever, the FIRST people lived on that great mainland, are HAN.

    SO use your mind to think about it.

    But you still have chance to receive some friendly welcome form Chinese people, if you are smart enough to change you mind, and accept the truth, and learn to respect other country, people and culture, not rudely to point the stupid finger to other peoples’ stuff.

    As I know, in America, if some rude peoson want to rush into another people’s family, the family have the right to shoot them.

    Even for a country? and remember for ever, also that country is not Iraq!

    In China, we have an old saying, that is: The salt I ate is even much more than the food you ate. —-means some elder person, they have rich experience, they learned from what they experienced, what they saw, what they heard, that is a kid didn’t own.

    For Chinese, long history of 5,000yrs, politics, culture, economics, arts, even wars, ancient Chinese experienced so much, and they left us huge “property”.

    what you american people experience now, we have experienced. you didn’t experienced, we also have experienced!!!

    What are you proud of???!!!

    You never got the real core of Chinese culture, even you lived in China for yrs.

    I am sorry for that, because time left you only hatred, hatred of a GREAT people on this earth.

    Chinese can last the longest time on this earth, they deserve any kind of respect.

    you can said, oh, I don’t. OK, that means the problem lie at your side, you choose close your eyes and refused to see this world.

    And, at the same time, you guys want to make Chinese look and sound wrong at the base YOUR Jounalists “hard” work, that maybe help a little, but the truth is the truth.

    So many foreign people traveled to China every day, with their own eyes and minds.

    So don’t just close your eyes and refuse the development of the world.

  32. Voice from China said

    Finally, BTW, don’t you think I also can do a great job of Jounalism? haha

  33. Neddy said

    Looks to me like a case of chronic diaorrhea, the verbal variety. You have the wrong website, ducky; China Daily does not recruit here.

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