Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

The Leveling Effect of Modern Communism

Posted by pipilaowai on Sunday, October 5, 2008

I have decided to become a communist. It appears that I will never reach the pinnacle of my ambitions to be financially independent and above the law by taking part in the Capitalist rat-race and working for someone else, so I’ve decided to switch sides and join the real Rats-race. I’m going to use my many years of military experience and join the Peoples Liberation Army so that I too can become one of the privileged elite. That’s the great thing about communism – it’s fkn great if you’re up top, propped up and top dog. I live to serve and be served but don’t try and be like me – Know Your Place, Comrade.

Ok, ok, so I will never be accepted into the ranks of the PLA elite. I fact, It’s unlikely that I’m even fit to wash their dishes in their mess halls due to the fact that I’m ethnically impure and not born to serve the Handy ones.

However, what I can do is “masquerade” as one the “privileged members of the People’s Liberation Army”. Yes that’s right, Privileged! These are the same Privileged Members who are above the law and answer to no one except the other Privileged Members of the PLA. These are the cunts who drive on the wrong side of the road, cut up traffic at will, run red lights, totally ignore all traffic control and police, park where they want and generally act in a Peoples Liberation Privileged Army sort of way and in fact, ‘look at me, I’ve got a white number plate’ sort of way. Not only are they Privileged Members, they also have funny sounding Horns and are not shy about using their Horns in public.

I am going to get myself one of these (see below) – one of the fast and expensive ones – and I’m going to masquerade as one of the Privileged Members. In fact, let’s not call it ‘masquerading’ – let’s call it ‘aspiring to be’…

Traffic police said, “over half of speeding drivers either cover up their plates or use a fake plate, the chances of capturing them is next to nil!”

Speeding drivers in south China are getting clear away thanks to machines which switch the numbers on their licence plates in seconds, state media said.

“More than 50 percent of cars caught on camera for speeding and other offences either cover up their plates or use a fake licence plate,” a traffic policeman in the Guangdong city of Yangjiang was quoted by the Beijing Youth Daily as saying, “our chances of capturing them is next to nil.”

The price of the remote-control device starts at around 800 yuan ($115), while a more advanced apparatus with the ability to flip over the numbers in less than three seconds costs more than double.

“The era of covering up the licence plate by hand has passed,” a driver surnamed Zheng told the newspaper.

“It’s really convenient and economical too,” a salesman who specializes in such devices in the provincial capital of Guangzhou was quoted as saying.

In April, Xinhua news agency reported that China had confiscated thousands of fake military vehicles and number plates in a move to crack down on citizens masquerading as privileged members of the People’s Liberation Army.

In years past, Chinese counterfeiters have used fake military vehicles to ship bootleg cigarettes and other goods, previous reports have said.

– Photo and text from Asianoffbeat

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6 Responses to “The Leveling Effect of Modern Communism”

  1. MyLaowai said

    “In years past, Chinese counterfeiters have used fake military vehicles to ship bootleg cigarettes and other goods, previous reports have said.”

    Yeah. And some of those vehicles (and their drivers) were the genuine PLA thing.

    It’s an open secret that virtually all serious crime in the country is PLA or CCP controlled. You want to be a part of that scene, you gotta deal with the Party Boys.

    Thugs and goons is about right.

  2. Hunxuer said

    Hey now…hey now!!! If it weren’t for our friends in the PLA, PSB and Wujing just think of how dismal sales would be for VW (the Touareg), Mercedes (S-class or ML) and Porsche (Cayenne)!

    Hmmm…interesting correlation that the most Nazi-like organizations favor German products!

    Anyway, in answer to these connected boyz and their right to abuse power, I like how locals are getting creative: covering number plates with cammo cloth to avoid speed cams and tollbooth collectors or outright taking off of plates and tossing them in the back. Very, very commonplace now and I’ve seen traffic cops NOT ticket plateless cars probably for fear that they might offend a “big wig”…

  3. I’m easy with anyone’s love for VW, Mercedes, and Porsche. Maybe it suggests some quality awareness after all.

  4. Neddy said

    I have something here for you from chinasmack.com; no quote necessary, the title is enough:

    “Nanjing Traffic Officer Dares To Stop A Military Car”

    http://www.chinasmack.com/pictures/nanjing-traffic-officer-dares-to-stop-a-military-car/

  5. That traffic officer is brazen, shameless and unpatriotic. If China isn’t achieving unification of the motherland at an early date, bad elements like him are to blame. The military’s business is the motherland’s business, and there is no time to lose.

  6. Tony Brown said

    I don’t know If I said it already but …Hey good stuff…keep up the good work! :) I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,)

    A definite great read..Tony Brown

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