Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

Spank Da Booty

Posted by MyLaowai on Tuesday, February 10, 2009

What’s more fun than a Wet Pussy?
Why, Spanking Da Booty, that’s what.

Last year saw more Wet Pussy Awards given for services to the Chinese Communist Party than any previous year, and quite frankly every recipient was a deserving winner. But what about those amongst us who have done good? There have been a great many diligent and enlightened citizens of the world who have done a great many good deeds in the service of humanity, and I for one feel that their efforts should not go unrecorded.

Starting with the fine and upstanding young man who lobbed a loafer at Premier Wen Jiabao. I liked that a lot.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not in favour of chopine-chucking in general. Hell, getting into wingtip warfare with China could turn out to be a horrible mistake – not only are most of the world’s shoes made in the Chinese Worker’s Paradise, they are also cheaper and, when worn by Chinese peasants, far stinkier than anything that we in the hygienic West can produce. So, no, I’m not advocating an unrestrained brogue-lobbing frenzy at all.

Nor am I rejoicing that the man known throughout Red China as ‘Grandpa’ Wen (but throughout the rest of the world as a monster) found himself shod by a student. Not that he didn’t deserve far worse – one doesn’t get to be the Premier of a major Communist nation without knowing where a hell of a lot of the bodies are buried. A firing squad I would have cheered at, but a shoe? It seems so inadequate, somehow.

What I am celebrating, though, is what that shoe meant. It was a symbolic slap in the face to the entire Chinese Communist Party, those butchering bastards who have for so long terrorised over two billion people at home and abroad, invaded numerous other countries, and murdered well over a hundred million civilians. It was the first time any of them have ever been publicly called to account, and it was done beautifully.

It was also an ironic reply to the laughter that came from China when the President of the United States of America had an item of footwear thrown at him last year, and I’ve always been a lover of irony.

So, to Martin Jahnke, the brave student who stood up and was counted Hero amongst Heroes, I salute you.

And to Wen Jiabao (and by extension the Chinese Communist Party), I say:

You’ve Had Your Booty Spanked.

2 Responses to “Spank Da Booty”

  1. Neddy said

    All good and well, but there’s a blemish on our shoe throwing hero’s reputation: He missed! You may say it’s human to err, but I say (with apology to JR, aka “Grandpa Wen”): Bloody Germans, can they do anything right?

  2. serdolik said

    The translator at me simply disgusting, has re-read the text 3 times, but sense up to me and has not reached… I so have understood – the big boss have convicted with a spot on a boot, and and here what that ” damp киска – pussy “? Yes, all таки – языковый the barrier is that that… It is necessary to learn the Chinese language, and then already English… Only, for God’s sake – do not think that I scoff, whether that… I and the truth have understood nothing. But all – is very interesting…. Thanks….

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