Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

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A Proper Breakfast

Posted by MyLaowai on Saturday, March 28, 2009

It’s Saturday morning, you’ve gotten up early to get things done, and you’re now at the point where breakfast is on the cards. You don’t normally have time for anything more than a cup of joe and a cigarette, so you’re really looking forward to this.

Let’s start with the bacon, shall we? Four rashers of smoked Danish back bacon, slightly crispy. Mmmmm… Scrambled eggs, with a hint of black pepper, straight from the mill. Toast, naturally, made from fresh wholegrain bread and slathered in real Irish salted butter (not that nasty margarine shite that’s made from plastic).

Then the coffee: a pint of steaming brain juice, made from freshly ground beans imported from Brazil, and laced with a generous splash of dark rum (it makes the cigarette taste even better, trust me).

And what, you might ask, does this have to do with China? Nothing at all, and that is precisely the point.

No tasteless buns filled with rat innards or softened cardboard, no salted duck eggs with rotten pickles, and no watery reheated rice, thank you Mr Wang. And while we’re at it, no bloody muesli either, so all the lesbians and filmstars can go and get knotted.

Just a healthy, nutritious, delicious breakfast.

A proper breakfast.

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One Response to “A Proper Breakfast”

  1. Mate, that’s almost exactly what I had this morning, only that I like my eggs ‘sunny side up. It was soooo good! Tasted even better in the new house :)
    You’ll have to come over for a drink, once I am back from my business trip.

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