Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

Happy Meaningless Festival! (*)

Posted by MyLaowai on Friday, May 29, 2009

Here in China, we’ve just celebrated another meaningless nationalist festival, the world-renowned Duanwu Festival. This is a traditional and ancient Chinese festival that was first celebrated in the PRC in 2008, which makes it a bit like all those ancient pagoda’s that are five thousand years old yet were not to be seen when I first arrived in this Godforsaken place.

Duanwu – there’s a story there. The Chinese have started calling it the Dragon Boat Festival, probably because this is a festival that occurs at the same time in other countries such as Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Macau, and they want to steal the glory. Of course, Dragon Boat Festival translates as longzhou jie, and means simply having a bit of a paddle on a river, whilst duanwu means solar maximus festival. This just goes to show that you shouldn’t believe most of what you read in the fashion magazines, most of which are written by fuckwits in any case.

As with all Chinese festivals, this one involves what the Chinese like to call ‘delicious food’. This ‘delicious food’ goes by the name of Zongzi, and is made from pus-filled bandages wrapped in bamboo leaves. They are supposed to be thrown into the river to commemorate the fact that a poet once threw himself into the river after being caught at treason, but over the years some people have actually been known to eat them – the lesson here is to not be fooled into thinking that you can actually eat something in China merely because someone tells you it is ‘delicious’. Other popular activities on this day include hanging a little bag filled with ‘medicine’ (twigs and grass) around your neck, trying to stand an egg on it’s end, and writing magical spells. All of which makes it pretty much the same as any other day for most Chinese people.

Anyway, all this is besides the point. I know there’s probably a Falling Cow in this somewhere, but instead I want to tell you a bit about what I’ve been up to recently. Obviously, I haven’t been blogging: I have been on my summer hols! That’s right, I’ve been travelling the length and breadth of this magnificent land, scouring it for news and stories. I thought I’d share with you good people a few of my favourite photo’s, the one’s that show the very best this nation has to offer, both ancient and modern. Check these out (my apologies for the slight haze, which I’m assured is not pollution):

Shanghai at Night

A scene from the famous Bund in Shanghai, at night. Note the brilliant neon lights.


Great Wall

The Great Wall of China continues to attract millions of visitors from around the world. Many parts of this wall have been restored recently. You still can’t see it from space, though.


Forbidden City

The Forbidden City is yet another famous place in China. This imperial palace was built during the period of 1406 to 1420 by foreigners. The Chinese now claim it as their own.


Dazu Rock Carvings

Listed as a  UNESCO World Heritage Site, the Dazu rock carvings are a series of works of religious significance, and are therefore banned in China. These exquisitely carved sculptures were created in the 7th century A.D. The carvings are located in Dazu County on a steep hillside.


Temple of Confucius

This complex located at Qufu in Shandong Province contains the temple, cemetery and family mansion of Confucius, philosopher, politician and educator, of the 6th & 5th centuries BC. The cemetery contains Confucius’ tomb and the remains of more than 100,000 of his descendants, most of whom had expected to live a lot longer than they did.


Leshan Buddha

The Leshan Grand Buddha was badly damaged during the Cultural Revolution, by foreigners according to propaganda, but has now been lovingly restored by the careful application of pink concrete. A must see if you have absolutely nothing else to do.


(*) Post title stolen from TaiTai, of Sinocidal fame.

Please note that this post took nearly four hours to put up, which just goes to show the lengths we China bloggers must go to to get around the censorship in China.

9 Responses to “Happy Meaningless Festival! (*)”

  1. Hunxuer said

    Why is it with their grand and glorious 8 zillion years of history, culture and exquisite cuisine that all their festivals come up with SHIT “delicacies”???

    Honestly, as stated above, if you want a grasp of real “Chinese” culture then go to the nation of Taiwan or the bitch slave administrative regions of Hong Kong or Macau (though they too, HK and Macau, are very rapidly getting crushed under big daddy CCP and are losing their “Chineseness” for this recent 60 year iteration of “culture”).

  2. justrecently said

    Thanks for your final note which seems to inform me that WordPress is now blocked again in China.
    Btw, you forgot to put up a photo of the big, grey, stone-carved Elephant (The Dowager Empress) on the Forbidden City’s pinnacles.

  3. Ned Kelly said

    I’ll bet if you labeled any of those grey squares “Tank Man” it would be blocked in China.

  4. MyLaowai said

    Ain’t no ‘if’ about it, Ned. I’ve been blocked for a long time now.

    Besides, Tank Man was long ago arrested, interrogated, tortured, beaten, and finally executed on the personal orders of Chairman Jiang Zemin (the monkey-faced guy who used to wear the dodgy suit and pretend he could dance).

    Tank Girl, on the other hand, now that I could get interested in…

  5. Hunxuer said

    By the way, the poor private that actually drove the tank that TM was blocking? He got F U C K E D up after the TAM “incident”. For not running TM over.

    Seriously…got some inside scoop on that one.

  6. Ned Kelly said

    Ah, if only Richard Burger had been the “foreign editor” of China Global Times in 1989, the Chinese Propaganda Department could have shown the world a more fair and balanced view of the massacre.

  7. Ned Kelly said

    By the way, is anyone taking bets on whether the English edition of China Global Times will publish a retrospective on the Tienanmen Square massacre this week?

    So much for the fantasy of Western PR agents reforming China’s propaganda organs from within.

  8. MyFenwai said

    Better than celebrating the birth of an illiterate half-Jew to some “virgin” (lying prostitute) by exchanging overpriced plastic-wrapped corporate garbage hocked by kike merchants to all their mindless nigger-hating/loving goy slaves in America.

    I think the purpose of celebrating Christmas in America is to make people forget Thanksgiving, a disgusting affair where Americans take off work (i.e stop killing brown people) to serve up warmed over roadkill as a pretense of culinary ability. They celebrate the backstabbing and subsequent total annihilation of the intelligent and beautiful peoples who used to populate the Americas, the same peoples who took in the white American’s savage, unwashed and mildly retarded ancestors with open arms.

    It’s very ironic. This is like white people telling the daughters they molest to be grateful for daddy’s erectile dysfunction (all that red meat causes problems). Elizabeth Fritzl would know.

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