Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

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Sex Trip to China? Forewarned is Forearmed

Posted by MyLaowai on Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Guest-Post-Xmas

Hi, single foreign boys and men coming to China. Some simple rules:

1) Yes, you will get lied to. Hourly.

2) Tell them you have no money, house or car. Bye-bye gold-digging whores. So many of them.

3) Tell them you never plan on leaving China. Winnowing the escape artists. So many of them.

4) Survive these, then ask them “And what do your parents think of this?

And if you make it through all of this (down to about 0.001% of available females by now)…

5) 2 out of 3 new AIDS infections in China come from heterosexual sex…

Your brother in legs…

– DaBizzare

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9 Responses to “Sex Trip to China? Forewarned is Forearmed”

  1. Chinese Netizen said

    And emphasize that in addition to spending the rest of your life in China, you’d like to get the full-on China experience in a place like Gansu, Qinghai or Guizhou.

  2. 0112337 said

    And what is the reverse logic of this post?

    It seems, and I bet this applies to a lot of the Laowais reading this…no matter how hard they try, good Chinese women simply won’t fall in love with them.

    I wonder why this is…

    It seems La Bizarre is an epic failure of a man.

    • Jeff said

      Hey fibonacci,
      I guess from your perspective nothing beats a seventy y/o man in a park encounter.
      smoke ’em if ya got ’em.
      We’ll pass thanks.

      • 0112337 said

        Fucktard, since you want to know…

        That comment by Mylaowai, was about something I might have posted on some random site a long time ago, while drunk, which then got transferred to whatever he was referring to. Probably back when I was a freshman in college, I don’t remember.

        Back then I wanted to see if I was gay, so I went to Dongdan Park in Beijing to test. I was walking around in the dark on to this little mound with a pavilion on top, where gays hook up, and there was this old guy from Dongbei that really liked me. He stalked me from the shadows all the way to the top and told me he wanted to make out with me. I escaped before he could do anything.

        That experience freaked me out. I thought they cured gay people in the 50s and 60s, during that old guy’s era where they strapped gays to wooden beds and used Pavlov effect shock therapy. Apparently not. I also realized I was not gay.

        Does that answer you?

      • MyLaowai said

        something I might have posted on some random site a long time ago, while drunk

        Try January 10th, 2012.

        And I thought that when you were a freshman in college, you were a combat medic saving people in Tiananmen Square? At least, so you told us…

        Anyway, these days aren’t you supposed to be a multi-millionaire investment banker who owns factories in latin America or something? I’m surprised you have the time to chase after old gay guys in Dongdan Park.

      • 0112337 said

        Then it’s not the same person. Someone else was pretending to be me.

        Seems like I am getting a following already on your blog eh…Laowai? And a talented group of devoted hater Laowais too~! Determined to wreck my reputation.

        This can get very very interesting down the road…I wonder what else these cowardly haters will make up.

        Let me know. I will learn about it from you in the future.

      • Jeff said

        Hey 0112337,
        you are a busy guy!
        So you are latent gay boi? no problem.
        Beijing can get a bit lonely for you then. You shuold try the HK gay scene. you might like it better.
        or maybe you’re looking for something more “Tom of Finland” looking eh champion?
        would never have guessed you were a medic….. You like enemas?

  3. TheHansTheDampf said

    dont dilute the bloodlines….

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