Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

Pychological Test for Potential Employees

To be given to all job applicants. Analysis provided below answer.

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1. Imagine you have just walked into a Chinese bus, and are shooting all the passengers.
What do you feel?

a/ Terrible sense of remorse / injustice / self-hate.
—> [Ask candidate to remove his/her rose-tinted glasses.]

b/ Sense of righteous justification.
—> [Candidate has probably been here too long. Give him/her a fly to de-wing.]

c/ A slight recoil.
—> [Correct. Remind candidate to allow for this when firing follow-up rounds.]

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2. You are facing a Chinese beggar, and a deadly cobra. You have in your possession a large-calibre handgun with just two rounds.
What do you do, and in what order?

a/ Shoot the snake, then the Chinese.
—> [Poor situational awareness. Failure to prioritise.]

b/ Shoot the Chinese, then the snake.
—> [Poor judgement of reality.]

c/ Shoot the Chinese. Then shoot it again.
—> [Correct. Assess candidate for management. And accuracy at close ranges.]

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3. Your Chinese supplier has just told you that you can trust him/her, because he/she is honest.
What is your reaction?

a/ Say how glad you are to hear it, take him/her at his/her word.
—> [Reject application out of hand.]

b/ Laugh out loud.
—> [Whilst fair enough, could be mistaken for agreement. Re-educate.]

c/ Take a photo, to put in the frame entitled ‘The Honest Supplier’, that’s been empty for the last 5,000 years.
—> [Correct. Assess candidate for Purchasing Department.]

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Assessment to be submitted with Resume / C.V.