Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

Dishonest Landlords

Posted by MyLaowai on Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Further to a recent post concerning dishonest landlords in Shanghai, this is the follow-up…

As is usual, we paid a sizeable deposit when we took the place. We liked the location, and the apartment itself wasn’t too bad. The price was a bit high, but we accepted it.

Then, a few weeks ago, there was a bit of a slump in the local stockmarket. The same week, our landlady called and said that the rent was going up by 40%. Well, we have just moved out, and suffered the usual inspection before getting back our deposit.

The landlady (who brought with her a group of ‘friends’), discovered some damage – a chip was missing from an interior door. Photo below:


That wee nick, dear reader, cost me 6,000 RMB, in addition to the usual additional charges such as extra money to pay bills, etc. This, in a city where the average monthly income is just 1,400 RMB. The mind boggles.

But wait, was it really 6,000 kuai for a nick in a door? Of course not. The reason that was given, after all the ‘discussions’ had taken place? By not respecting the door, we had caused harm to the feelings of all the Chinese people.

We had caused harm to the feelings of all the Chinese people.

I shit ye not.

For what it’s worth, this particular landlady only rents to foreigners. So, if you’re looking for a place in Shanghai, and you’re concerned that this evil piece of shit may become your landlord, send me an email and I’ll give you all her details.


5 Responses to “Dishonest Landlords”

  1. Really makes you think, doesn’t it?

  2. I hope you realize that ‘Chinese people’ is a contradiction in terms.

  3. shuggie said

    “I hope you realize that ‘Chinese people’ is a contradiction in terms”.

    Totally accurate observation – by definition, the word “people” implies some level of mental functionality which in reality is not present in most of them.
    The situation with this sub species is that it performs its various quasi human functions in a brain syphlis ridden state of fear, self-loathing and insecurity.
    The “causing harm to the feelings of Chinese people” knee-jerk response is overwhelmingly an expression of their innate inferiority complex in relation to the rest of humanity. At the end of the day and in spite of their 5000 years of “culture”, these toads have been playing catch-up to humanity on both an individual and and collective basis even before the whores of Babylon; so whether screwing you over for 6000RMB or just bawling “Loawai” in your face, for them it’s like the ultimate Chinese wet dream come true.

  4. FOARP said

    Man, why do you have to give the whole ‘Chinese aren’t people’ argument? It makes what is a good blog hard to stomach. Meantime, did your landlord actually say that you had hurt the feelings of the Chinese people or are you just yanking my chain? Fuck it, if someone had told me that whilst I was over there I think I might have just smacked them clean in the chops and then booked a ticket on the next flight out, because that would have been a clear message from god to get my arse home!

  5. MyLaowai said

    Hi there FOARP, thanks for the comment. Because you make a fair point, here’s where I stand:

    1. I didn’t write “Chinese aren’t people”. True, there may be times when I feel that way, but I didn’t even hint at it in this post. That was written in a comment left by a reader, and I don’t censor comments – censorship is, in my opinion, worse than almost anything that can be said.

    2. Yes, my ex-landlady actually did say that I had hurt the feelings of all the Chinese people. That was the reason she used to rob me blind. I am most certainly NOT yanking your chain on this one.

    3. If I had been in this one by myself, then she would have taken a short drop with a sharp drop… right off the balcony. The three ‘heavies’ she had with her would have followed her. Unfortunately, I wasn’t alone with her – Mrs MyLaowai was there, too. The ex-landlady’s husband is a Shanghai Government official, and, as the renting party, had a copy of Mrs MyLaowai’s ID card – and yes, they did threaten to make life hard for her if I didn’t pay up. I ain’t happy about it, but c’est la vie (incidentally, his job is Security-related, so he is not allowed to rent to foreigners, not that I can use this against him).

    4. Whilst I hate this place, and most of the people in it, I’m not ready to leave yet. My reasons for coming here were good reasons, and those reasons still exist today – believe me, when I am ready to leave, I shall do so with all due dispatch!

    5. God doesn’t send messages to people here. That would be a clear violation of Order No.5 from the State Religious Affairs Ministry. Hell, I heard that they even tried to shoot down Santa for overflying Chinese airspace.

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