Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

My Wet Pussy Award – May 2008

Posted by MyLaowai on Saturday, May 31, 2008

It’s a bit of a different story this month, and it took me a while to figure out how I was going to tell it. My apologies for being a couple of days late.

I have a friend who’s just gotten out of a Chinese Detention Centre. He was inside for a month, and what he went through was fairly horrific. He’s certainly not the man he was before he went in. Before I tell you a bit more of his story, however, I’d like to talk briefly about a few of the other foreigners that were in there at the same time.

There’s the guy, for instance, who made the mistake of being in a bar at the same time that a bar fight broke out between two groups of Chinese. He wasn’t involved in any way at all, but he was the one the Police picked up because he was the only customer who wasn’t a local. He was, in fact, a sailor on a container ship that had docked up the river, and this was his first visit to China. He spent every night crying and praying. He only got out when the Captain of his ship payed an enormous bribe to the prison guards.

Or the guy from South East Asia, who was picked up in a random sweep in the far west (Xinjiang to the locals, East Turkestan to the rest of the world). His crime was ‘looking like a separatist’. The local Police there, unwilling to admit they had picked up a foreigner by mistake, shipped him off to distant Shanghai. He’s been in for months, and has no prospect of getting out any time soon.

Then there’s the foreign investor whose Joint Venture partner, a corrupt member of the Shanghai Government, decided he wanted the whole operation for himself, and had this poor blighter arrested and put away.

Worst of all, the guy who has been inside for a year and a half. His crime? In the words of the guard who boasted to my friend: “He’s black, and we don’t like black people in China. We don’t want to let him out”.

None of these people – none of them – have ever been charged with any crime. None of them has, to the best of my knowledge, been allowed to see a lawyer. Their consulates don’t know they are in there. Their families haven’t heard from them. They have simply disappeared.

Which brings me to my friend.

He was in a bar with his colleagues after work early one evening, when a very large, very drunk American came over and accused his boss of stealing his drink. He was very obviously looking to start a fight. The target of his aggression offered to buy him another drink to replace the one he had lost, and the American went away after roundly abusing the entire group. Half an hour later he was back, and made to attack my friend. My friend threw up his arm to protect his face, and the glass he was holding nicked the American (but not badly, just enough to draw a little blood). After the American was restrained, my friend left quickly so as to avoid further incident, but apparently the American was able to find out where he worked and what his name was.

Several days later, my friend got an email from this American, which said “I’m gonna fuck you up”. That night, when he arrived home, the Police had set a trap for him, and whisked him away to the Detention Centre.

My friend was lucky – his girlfriend knew what happened to him. Why lucky? Because when the girlfriend went to the consulate, and the consulate went to the Police asking why they hadn’t filed the mandatory report with them, the Police denied any knowledge of the incident. They continued to deny knowing the whereabouts of my friend for a week, and when they finally admitted to knowing where he was, it took another week before they allowed Consular officials to see him, in clear violation of several international agreements. My friend was warned at this time not to say anything except that he was being treated well.

He was not being treated well, not by a long shot.

He was being subjected to intense political re-education, all day every day. No exercise, bright lights all the time, emotional abuse, you name it. He was placed in a small cell with half a dozen Chinese murderers who had also been subjected to the same political re-education, and who as a result harboured a particular hatred towards all foreigners. He ate stale rice and drank dirty water for a month. He slept on the floor. No showers, and one shave per week, with a blunt and bloodied razor that was used for the entire prison population (he refused to shave). Following the events in Sichuan recently, the guards came around and demanded that all prisoners sign a document ‘donating’ their money to the guards, for an ‘Earthquake Appeal’, and when my friend refused, the guards saw to it that all the other prisoners knew it.

My friend was not treated well. Not by a long shot.

He was released after his family agreed to pay the American 350,000 RMB (although he had originally demanded 1,000,000). That’s a lot of money.

And what about this mysterious American, the one who arranged for him to be there? Well, it turns out that this particular Yank has rather a history of doing this sort of thing to people. His modus operandi is to start fights with other foreigners, younger than himself and smaller in build, and then have them arrested. He either pays the Police a percentage or a set price, it isn’t clear which. And then he pockets the money and moves on to the next victim. A regular, old-fashioned, extortion racket. Just like in the old days.

This bastard lives in Shanghai, and has in fact been here for quite a few years. He is involved in real estate, and has a lot of local connections to help him do his dirty work. I know who this person is, I know what he looks like, I know where he works and where he lives, and I know what I’d like to see happen to him. My friend has asked that I don’t publish any of that, and I intend to respect his wishes. But I will also be hitting my knees on the floor every night, praying that this bastard gets his just desserts.

This Wet Pussy Award is for him.

Un-named Yank Bastard, Wet Pussy Award winner.

And where now are the righteous Chinese patriots, the ones who cry foul whenever China’s human rights record is questioned? I can only presume they are okay with their own Police and Party Officials colluding with this American, to extort money out of other foreigners. But hey, feel free to prove me wrong – until you do, I’ll go right on believing that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

And while I’m quoting others, here’s another one for you:

“Why is that camera off? You don’t know what you’re doing here, but maybe I know what I’m doing here. These people [the State] are risking their lives for us? I want to see what they’re going through, even if they don’t want us to. And I want other people to see it. What do you think they’re doing out there? Protecting and defending secrecy? That’s the world of Mao, the world of Stalin, the world of secret police, of secret trials, of secret deaths! You force the press into the cold, and all you will get is lies and innuendo, and nothing – nothing! – is worse for a free society than a press that is in service to the Military and the Politicians. Nothing! You turn that camera off when I tell you to turn it off! You think I give a damn what you think about me? You serve the People? So do I.”

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31 Responses to “My Wet Pussy Award – May 2008”

  1. Peter said

    Crazy shit mate. Hope you buddy is all right.

  2. I’m not trying to tease out more details than those you want to give. I understand that this is is rather dicey stuff. But as this is a matter between two foreigners, doesn’t this ever become a criminal case in America? Especially in cases that the lucky wet-pussy winner of the month and his victim are both American? Or does he always pick on people of other nationalities than his own?
    (I must say that I’m absolutely unfamiliar with this kind of constellation.)
    Anyway – don’t give more details if you feel it could be irresponsible to do so, and all the best to your friend and his family.

  3. MyLaowai said

    It falls under Chinese jurisdiction, but the Police did not act according to Chinese Law. In fact they broke their own laws, their own constitution, and international laws too.

    Of course, they made money, so they are happy.

  4. justrecently said

    Certainly an awareness-raising award.
    Found on the internet:
    “Americans doing business in China should be aware that if they become involved in a business and/or civil dispute, the Chinese government may prohibit them from leaving China until the matter is resolved. Civil cases may sometimes be regarded as criminal cases and the defendant may be placed in custody. Civil law disputes may take years to resolve. There are many cases of American citizens being prevented from leaving China for months and even years while their civil cases are resolved.”
    US Embassy

  5. MyLaowai said

    I actually know of a couple of cases where this has happened. I know the people involved in one instance.

    It’s fucked up doing business here if you are a laowai.

  6. “a corrupt member of the Shanghai Government”

    Don’t you think this is an oxymoron mate?

  7. MyLaowai said

    No, not an oxymoron, just a redundancy, like saying “more faster”. I knew when I wrote it, but wrote it anyway for the benefit of my readers in other countries who may be under the mistaken impression that the Chinese Communist Party are a real government, rather than merely the world’s largest criminal organization.

  8. Sinosceptic said

    You know, I know the guy (your friend), and I heard about the story almost as soon as it happened and your version of the story is not what I heard – not even fkn close.

  9. Neddy said

    Well, now, Sinosceptic, why don’t you simply give us your version, and allow our host to respond, if he wishes to do so? The rest of us will then make up our own fkn minds, if you don’t mind, thank you very much!

  10. MyLaowai said

    @Sinosceptic:

    Excellent news. Please give us the true story. It would be nice to hear what really happened, as to date I only have the story from the people who were actualy involved.. Fifth party opinions would be welcomed.

    Unless of course, you were chiming in on behalf of the fat yank who pays off local authorities to imprison innocent poeple for cash payouts.

  11. Neddy said

    An off-topic, brought about by aan above reference to “the world’s largest criminal organization”: Am I delirious, or is it indeed a 19th anniversary today of that which “never happened”? Either way, every day is a good day to celebrate. So repeat after me, three times: F*ck the CCP!
    Amen.

  12. Sinosceptic said

    @MyLaowai – well, it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind up so no point in me telling you any more. I’ve got no interest in ‘going public’ and telling the story as it was told on the night, by [the person concerned] no less, as he was sitting fkn stewing at home, still fkn drunk, waiting for daylight to come so he could face reality. Regular updates from [another person] were sent by sms after he was locked up. I’m sure [the person concerned] has got a new take on what happened that night now that his ass is sober enough to start twitching again. I’ve got no reason to see him put down in public, but the latest version is all watered down shite and you’re only hearing the tale weeks after the event and days after he was released from the slammer after many weeks of contemplation.

    Why would I chime up on behalf of the ‘fat yank’ – never met the asshole.

    @ Neddy – that’s all you deserved at Sinocidal and nothing’s changed.

    [note: Please, no names on this one. Say what you like about who you like, it’s not a problem, but until I hear otherwise from my friend, let’s avoid using names. Thanks. – MyLaowai]

  13. TaiTai said

    @MyLaowai: I don’t think we need the names publishing, I think you should edit the above comment.

    @Sinosceptic: play nice. See you saturday.

  14. MyLaowai said

    @Sinosceptic:

    I was aware of what was going on the entire time it was going on. I didn’t say anything during that time because I didn’t think it would be very helpful.

    Actually mate, I would have thought that you, of all people, would be sympathetic. That is, if you are the very decent chap I think you are (which I am sure you are). This guy has had a hell of a time, and some of the other poor sods in there have had it worse.

    Personally, I wouldn’t put an enemy in that place.

  15. MyLaowai said

    To clarify: although the person in question is a buddy, this post isn’t about him. It’s about this other bloke who thinks extortion is acceptable. I have it on good authority that my friend isn’t his first victim. And of course, its about the Chinese system of putting people away without trial, or representation, or access to their consulates if they are foreigners. And certainly, my friend’s case isn’t unique in that respect, nor is he the first person I’ve known to have that happen to.

  16. Neddy said

    Sinosceptic,

    Yes, nothing has changed. I am who I am, and I don’t hide it behind different web handles. Also, I don’t presume to know fkn all, don’t need MyLaowai’s clarification as to what was this really about, and do not publish personal info on a blog. So maybe there’s a hope for me yet.

    From what I hear, you are a good man to have on one’s side, but also an arrogant schmuck who can dish it out but not take it. If I managed to piss off THAT part of you, I have done something well.

    And as for that fuzzy feeling, it’s mutual. Have a nice day.

  17. Sinosceptic said

    @MyLaowai – Actually, my wife and I discussed at great length about whether or not to put the money up to get him out as soon as I heard about this. However, after consideration of the events behind it – as was told by our friend immediately after the event and in the sober hours of the day that followed (different from what he now tells you) – then I decided not to bother. If it had been a fist fight and this shit happened, then I’d have been down to Shanghai same day and called some friends to get this sorted out. I wish our mutual associate no ill will whatsoever – but the whole escapade has made me rethink things, and this story above is making it worse. I’ve got no more to say on this issue – it’s really none of my business and I’m best staying out of it.

    @Neddy – Maybe you should consider that the person who told you that I’m an arrogant schmuck (I can guess who it was) has never met me and has an imaginary axe to grind. However, in saying that, I couldn’t give a shit what you or anyone else thinks of me – it’s all names on a screen to me. I don’t have any buttons to push so I don’t know where you get ‘That part’ of me from. Anyone that knows me, knows that I can give it out, take it back and that I’m more self-critical and self-deprecating than most people. I’ve also nothing to hide behind – I’ve been blogging and commenting as Sinosceptic for over 5 years. The PiPi nom de plume was something that was given to me as part of the Sinocidal setup since it fitted into the theme. I’ve since tried to drop it and get back to ‘normal’. PiPi, Sinosceptic – nothing else out there and nothing to hide behind. Over the years, my real name, home, work and social details are freely available and anyone that has a problem with me or anything that I say or do – or if they want to share a beer of 5 – knows where to find me.

    Thank you and fuzzies all round.

  18. MyLaowai said

    @ Sinosceptic:
    Thanks for the info. What you have said gels quite well with what I know actually. I’d be interested in hearing the details you think I don’t know – but please can we take this elsewhere? This isn’t a post about our mutual friend. MyLaowai@gmail.com is a better place for this chat I feel.

    @ Everyone:
    I don’t really think we need descend into name calling and squabbles. I expect no better from our friends from Tianya etc, but really, we laowai in China all need to circle the wagons and point the loud end of the gun facing out, not towards each other. Thanks.

  19. “we laowai in China all need to circle the wagons”

    Corrals or laagers won’t work. I don’t think that foreigners will be anything more than (more or less welcome) “guests” in China until the hosts have become open-minded – or if they tell us all to leave. But isn’t the art of being a foreigner about remaining open towards ones environment? It goes without saying that foreigners should be supportive of each other when in need, but some moderate infighting among us is just normal. We come from diverse societies. As long as we maintain some civility nevertheless, I think diversity is much more convincing than uniformity. Let’s practice the former. It’s “foreign”, and it’s good.

  20. Neddy said

    Aw, bless you, Justrecently, you have a way with words! Though, on my part, the explanation is simple: A crochety old fool intolerant of them young fools! But it was just a spat. All the same, please stick around, we may need a sensible bloke here to tell us where to get off.

    Rainbows and buttercups… Err, anyone up for a comment on the next post? The one about the thing that never happened?

  21. stoogie said

    “Their consulates don’t know they are in there. Their families haven’t heard from them. They have simply disappeared.”

    “Personally, I wouldn’t put an enemy in that place.”

    How could they have? you seem to know all about them. How hard is it for you to pick up a phone and tell their consulates and families their whereabouts?

    With friends like you, who needs enermies?

  22. stoogie said

    “we laowai in China all need to circle the wagons and point the loud end of the gun facing out”

    Seriously ? How much does it plane ticket cost?

    Seems like you are at it again: making up stories and distorting facts to justify your ideological rantings.

  23. justrecently said

    Hehe. Stoogie is back. He must have missed these pages. I’m sure everyone missed him, too. What would you do with your life if Mylaowai bought himself a plane ticket and stopped blogging, stoogie?

  24. stoogie said

    @justrecently,

    man … you seem like a decent guy but somethings you do ask silly questions.

    Don’t you have a life other than sucking up to this perfidious gui-lao ?

  25. Hm… I’m not sucking up to anyone, not even to the CCP. As I said before, I appreciate many of the postings here. Just sticking around here to “expose rednecks” suggests a certain degree of boredom with real life, though. I mean, doing that once or twice can be fun. But month after month?

  26. FOARP said

    Dude, I read this in my pissed up state and was ready to pay for a ticket back to SH to beat on this twat (who I have never seen), but if it is more complicated than that, please say so.

  27. MyLaowai said

    @FOARP:

    I’d advise not coming to SH to beat on this twat. It really isn’t so very complicated, but the twat has connections and frankly what would be the point anyway?

    But thanks for the thought. Come to SH for a drink, instead. My shout.

  28. RST said

    I’ve never visited this blog before so I don’t know what is up with it but here are my impressions:

    1. This story sounds like fiction to me.

    2. The tone on this blog in general seems a bit desperate.

    3. I read a handful of the comments and posts and wonder why many of the commenters live in China as they seem pretty miserable overall. What’s up with that? If it is so bad, just leave. I certainly don’t get the negative vibe that many of you here are putting out. Maybe I need to read MORE of the site but my initial impression is that this is a place for bitching and moaning.

  29. MyLaowai said

    Maybe you also need to have lived in China.

    But yes, this IS a place for bitching and moaning. You have Ohio, we have MyLaowai.

  30. RST said

    “Maybe you also need to have lived in China.” I have. Off and on since 1996. I live in Hangzhou when I am there. Why do you assume I have not?

    “You have Ohio, we have MyLaowai”? Garrettsville, Ohio to be specific but then I am not hiding anything. Aside from you demonstrating that you know how to use Google what do they have to do with each other? Seriously, that doesn’t explain anything.

  31. MyLaowai said

    It’s the ‘on-and-off’ part that’s different. I spend time in Thailand, on-and-off. That isn’t the same as living there day-in-and-day-out-for-years. It gives one a different perspective.

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