Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

What’s that buzzing?

Posted by MyLaowai on Friday, December 12, 2008

I’ve got a bit of a bee in my bonnet. I’m feeling peevish, irritable and testy. Or, put another way, acrimonious, cantankerous, captious, cranky, cross, crotchety, fractious, grouchy, grumpy, ill-natured, mean, ornery, out-of-sorts, pertinacious, querulous, splenetic, and tetchy.

For the benefit or those who only speak Microsoft English, this means I’m pissed (a phrase which means ‘drunk’ throughout the civilised world and even in parts of Australia, and the fact that I’m sober isn’t helping any).

It isn’t because ChinaDaily has this headline:

Ethnic Chinese tipped as US energy chief

Secretary of Labor Elaine Lan Chao will go out with the Bush administration next month – but there is likely to be another ethnic Chinese in the US Cabinet.

Comment: It is very gratifying to know that the new American administration has chosen one of us the Chinese to be a member of the government at the White House.
This shows that the Chinese people have genetic wisdom and endowed with natural intelligence and they are in public offices all over the world from north to south and east to west.
Cheers and congratulations Nobel Laureate Chu…!

And it isn’t because the lead story in every paper in the nation is:

Experts debate China’s role in Somalia mission

Chinese military strategists and international relations experts are debating whether China should dispatch its navy to the troubled waters off Somalia.

The debate was first kicked off by Major-General Jin Yinan of the National Defense University, when he told a radio station last week that “nobody should be shocked” if the Chinese government one day decides to send navy ships to deal with the pirates.

[…]

China has never dispatched any troops for combat missions overseas.

Comment: Chinese Liberation Army should exercise more abroad, because it is important to play a more energetic role in international affairs.Furthermore, China has not military combat for a long time, which is not helpful to miltitary [sic] capacity of the Navy.

No, it isn’t either of those ChinaDaily articles. It’s bloody CNN, and their bullshit, emotional appeals to the good people of the world to visit their website and get ideas for helping the poor sick people of North Korea, Sudan, Zimbabwe, Burma, and just about everywhere else a brutal dictator has his people by the short and curlies.

Fine. Play it your way. Help these people. Send money and food and medicine and whatever the hell else your charitable heart can suggest. Try to ignore the fact that your donations go directly towards propping up bastards like Robert Mugabe, General Than Shwe, Omar Hassan, and Kim Jong Il. Try not to think about the fact that, even if you did save thousands of people, they’d never know it was you, and would never thank you if they did. Definitely don’t think about how their children will grow up hating your children. So yeah, go ahead.

Alternatively, you could try addressing the problem directly, and shooting the motherfuckers who are in charge of the whole god-damned mess and who never seem to get called out. What’s that? You’re not squeamish, are you? What do you mean, we can’t just shoot people we don’t like?

Why the fuck not? We don’t hesitate to kill their civilian populations by the villageful. Why not just simply earmark a single JDAM to the task, and blow these evil cunts into small, sticky pieces? Try to think of any collateral damage as bonus points. Their people will thank you for it, trust me.

And here’s the real kicker: Just who is it that keeps these evil, sadistic butchers in power? Look at that list again, and see what they have in common, in terms of their friends… Which nation supports them all militarily, financially, and politically?

Correct. Grow some balls and earmark one of those JDAM’s for Beijing, chaps, while you’re at it.

And now it is time to get pissed drunk. Merry Christmas, bah humbug!

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6 Responses to “What’s that buzzing?”

  1. justrecently said

    acrimonious, cantankerous, captious, cranky, cross, crotchety, fractious, grouchy, grumpy, ill-natured, mean, ornery, out-of-sorts, pertinacious, querulous, splenetic, and tetchy.
    (I know what cross, grumpy, ill-natured and mean means.)
    Btw, South Africa has probably started rethinking their policy of non-interference in Zimbabwe since the cholera has started coming across the Limpopo River. They could live with refugee camps, but I never expected that Bishop Tutu would suggest removing Mugabe by force. I guess he’s going to beat Bobby up with the big cross he’s wearing.

  2. FOARP said

    Well, it is a bit of a rare occurrence compared to “Ethnic British wins post in *Insert former British colony here* . . . .

  3. Neddy said

    More on China’s role in Somalia mission. I suggest you read FOARP’s latest: “Amazing!” about how the
    “ingenious Chinese crew managed to fight off a band of machine-gun toting seadogs with beer bottles” (TimesOnline link included).
    Enjoy. And share any jokes you can think of.

    http://foarp.blogspot.com/2008/12/amazing.html

  4. justrecently said

    Methinks the pirates should be very afraid now. The Chinese navy invented the powder. Besides, they know how to deal with fishermen with poor legal incomes.
    They’re doomed.

  5. MyLaowai said

    It just proves that even the Chinese don’t want to drink the pathetic watered down piss that passes for beer in China.

  6. Eric said

    This shows that the Chinese people have genetic wisdom and endowed with natural intelligence and they are in public offices all over the world from north to south and east to west.

    Oh, this is good! Fantastic! People believe this shit too!

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