Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

Haibao Song

Posted by MyLaowai on Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Hey, I finally figured out where I’d seen the Chinese pavilion before – in Japan! That’s right, it’s a low-rent copy of something done better by the Japanese. Who would ever have guessed it? But there’s one thing that the Chinese certainly did not copy in their quest for Expo excellence, and that’s Gumbi, I mean Spongebob Squarepants, sorry I meant Haibao. Yup, Haibao, that lovable blue inflatable thing that tells us how to live our lives.

Seriously, never mind who came up with the idea of copying a plasticine man from 1953, never mind how much money has been wasted spent erecting thousands of the damn things everywhere, and never mind how recockulous the whole thing is. I’ve a much better thing to worry about, and that’s to do with the Expo Theme Song: Every big propaganda event must have a theme song, hopefully starring Jackie Chan and a few other washed up Communist supporters. It seems such a song was indeed created early this year, but then some no-good Japanese by the name of Maya Okamoto stole it from the Good People of China back in 1997. People from all walks of life are calling for a boycott of Japanese products (again), but the lads over at Expo HQ didn’t waste time complaining – no sir! They got right down to brass tacks and created a new and improved Expo Theme Song, starring Gumbi Haibao and a whole slew of new washed up Communist supporters. It’s a cracker, I’m sure you’ll agree, and those catchy lyrics will have your toes tapping like little tapping things.

Haibao, I think you’ll find, has finally found his destiny.

Haibao, bringing you a better city and a better life. It’s his name-Show, after all.

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3 Responses to “Haibao Song”

  1. DaBizarre said

    Wonderful. I was suffering from insomnia and this has proved to be the perfect cure. About 30 seconds in I was fast asleep. Now, the first time I used it, I had disturbing dreams involving our little blue fiend, an eggbeater and whipped cream. So, the subsequent times, I just turned the screen off and enjoyed some of the deepest sleeps I have had.

  2. Chinese Netizen said

    Eh? Expo???

    Well, regardless, I do think this “Haibao” thing looks like something that would show up under a black light at a CSI crime scene in a Chinese private sauna room.

    Thank Mao the Chinese renmin (the rich, educated ones, at least) have Jackie Chan shilling for them all the time.

  3. MyLaowai said

    Attention Vanessa Wang:

    Sixteen comments about nothing in the space of five minutes marks you as either a fenqing or a spammer. In either case, your comments have been deleted and your have been put in my special Black File Of Death.

    If you or anyone you know is Vanessa Wang, and you feel that this constitutes unreasonable behaviour on my part, please do write to me and express your thoughts.

    Thank you.

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