Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

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An Open Letter to All English Students in China

Posted by MyLaowai on Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Guest Post

Dear Student,

So you want a Laowai to be at your beck and call to help you improve your English? Yes, I came to China just so I could devote my life to licking your butt and helping you every way I can. What will you do to help this friend in return? Oh, teach us Chinese? Come on, WAKE UP.

#1: You want a private Laowai tutor? It’s 150+/hr. A Chinese tutor for us, at most, is 50/hr. What qualifications do you have to teach us Chinese? Oh – NONE. Is your English even good enough to DREAM of being a tutor for us? No.

#2: How many THOUSANDS of Chinese people give us the same ridiculous offer every day?

#3: You want a penpal? Look outside China. Oh yes, a few problems with that:
a) Your government blocks many of those websites in case some foreign scum dares to talk about the (non-existent, of course) problems your country has.
b) Much to your amazement, very few Laowai have got ANY time to talk with a person from your xenophobic backward country. Oh yes kiddies, scream blue murder all you like, but for god’s sake, me and my buddies here (in China) have to do without electricity or water for sometimes days on end. My workmate here lives in the “second best community in this city”. His home here is worse than a slum in America. At least said slums have the water, telecommunications, and electricity INSTALLED in the fricking walls and not draped around the outside. The list grows on. You have LITTLE to offer us, and we, even if it’s just our native language, have much to offer you.
#4: You wanna improve your English? Pay for a tutor. Oh, sorry – you want it for free? Visit my blog and knock yourself out. And when you do, be very thankful I bother to spend any time giving away my vast experience for FREE! What do you give away for free of any value? Huh? Oh yeah… NOTHING.
#5. Don’t go trying to chat with me every time you have 5 free minutes. I don’t have free time, I am a dedicated teacher and spend my time developing materials that I place on my blog (or in my school’s text books) that MANY people can benefit from. I will happily block you if you try. Why spend my precious time on just one person? I’d rather spend it helping thousands.

You claim the people around you only speak Chinese. Bloody hell, what about your classmates in your English class? Hell, what about you!!! You ALSO speak Chinese every day! Why don’t you try speaking English to your classmates and encourage them to do the same? Sure, it might be BAD English, but any practice is better than NO practice!

I hope to see you actively participating in a chat group. I really do. Because most of you ignorant bastards want to learn English but don’t want to participate. As I don’t know you at all, this means you haven’t said ANYTHING in our group of any note whatsoever. I also reckon that this entire conversation is above your head. For the next few weeks, work with your Chinese friends to comprehend this letter. That will help your English no end, and I haven’t had to waste a single minute on you, other than this message which I will share with the ‘world’ (= China, you folks really have trouble believing there is more to the world than your precious homeland) to help offset the waste of time that I know it to be.

Oh yes, I can hear more screams of protest at this latest statement. “We are almost the biggest economy in the world.” Lets examine this in detail:

#1: Your GDP PER CAPITA is woeful. It’s only big because you have 1.6 billion peasants running around trying to buy clean water, untainted food and a dogbox to live in. And failing.

#2: Your innovation capabilities are almost non-existent. You specialize in R&D: Ripoff and Duplicate.

#3: If you were to actually be able to account for REAL expenditure, you would be (by far) the largest economy in the world. Unfortunately, graft, bribe, deceit and fraud aren’t actually counted in the GDP, let alone whores, KTVs, street vendors and the like. You don’t just cook the books, you eat them as well! [note from ML: in fact, prostitution does account for some 15% of GDP, and is the only state-owned business making a profit]

You call me “good friend” and you haven’t even read this article. You know NOTHING about me. You aren’t my friend, and most likely never will be. Acquaintance? Maybe. Friend? You Chinese love to call anybody your friend, your brother etc, but am I really? Did you help me this week? Last week? In the last year? Christ. My friends look after me, worry about my problems and try to help me. An unknown student begging for free English practice is NOT my friend at all. To make it even more insulting to us, I know that many ethnic Chinese English teachers suggest (demand) their students make foreign friends so you can send us class surveys, correct your homework and so. Sorry, no go mate.

I love this country of yours, but I am so fed up with people expecting me to do something for nothing when I have to pay inflated prices for everything. Who will pay my rent if I spend all day being your private English tutor gratis? We can go back to an old quote and paraphrase it a little. “Ask not what a foreigner can do for you, but rather, what can you do for a foreigner?” Peace out little sibling.

Da Bizarre
Experienced, QUALIFIED Foreign Teacher

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72 Responses to “An Open Letter to All English Students in China”

  1. Waterychestnut said

    meeeiiooow!

  2. If you replace all related occurrences of

    “students” into “desperate dudes”,
    “laowai” into “me as a hot woman” and
    “learn English” into “try to get into my pants”.

    It’ll make an equally good article.

  3. SPAIN EUROPA said

    English, English…haha. The most spoken (“western”) language in the world by native speakers is SPANISH. At the end the Spanish Empire left its mark on this globe, although it finally lost its Empire (War between the Spanish Kingdom and USA) in 1898. This is just for your record, dear anglosaxon friends. So, don’t overrate your ENGLISH soooo much ;-D.

    • Chinese Netizen said

      Que?

    • Nips Are Great said

      I see you’re posting in English.

      Faulty Towers was great.

      • SPAIN EUROPA said

        Nips: Hehe! I love Faulty Towers and “Manuel”. I laughed my ass off! What a shame that they don’t show it anymore on TV…Hope to catch a DVD on Ebay some day…

    • chin said

      But English is still the most spoken/understood language in the world if you don’t count Mandarin and Cantonese as one language. What does native speakers have to do with anything? When people do business worldwide they usually do it in English. People in alot of different countries such as India and Germany often learn math in English in schools.

      • Harold said

        Because it is teached everywhere in schools and because it is simple in its structure and easy to learn. Anyone can speak simple english in a couple of months. For Europeans it easier to learn it because English adopted manz expressions and words from Latin, French, German and Spanish. And vice versa!

      • picard said

        dont forget portuguese and french mon amie!

  4. SPAIN EUROPA said

    BTW: I love your post. It is great and so true!

  5. Someone thinks this story is fantastic…

    This story was submitted to Hao Hao Report – a collection of China’s best stories and blog posts. If you like this story, be sure to go vote for it….

  6. Spaniard said

    SPAIN EUROPA: You are right, but the wars with the English Pirates are over. ;-D.

    Even so, you anglo-saxons survived our great Empire for 50 years (and the Germans…), I agree with the post here. You are right and you write the truth! Can you believe that this chinese stone-age people think that every white person is an ENGLISH speaker? Dios, I enjoy to reply in Spanish to them and watch their desperate faces. I speak SPANISH and they think it is FRENCH!!! And they even think it is Italian!!! Damn this fucking stupid idiots in this country. Beijing: You are doing a GREAT job with the education system. It is unique in the world. Only Nazi-Germany can match your skills.

    Regards,
    An European (Spaniard).

    • MyLaowai said

      It’s even better when Chinese people meet someone who is Greek, mistakenly assume he is French, fail to communicate in pidgeon French hua, and then assume that the Greek guy (who has just told you in Chinese that he is Greek), is another arrogant Laowai who doesn’t want to help you with English.

      Sheesh!

      • Spaniard said

        It is so fucking true what you say. And sorry for the word…Someone must have told them in their fucking (and sorry again) chinese pidgeon school that all fucking (sorry again) laowai speak fucking (and sorry again) english. I know, we are all waiguoren from the only second country in the world called “waiguo” (hi, north-american brothers), and we all speak ENGLISH…what do we (Spaniards) reply? I will tell ya now: Fuck ya. (sorry again).

        A Spaniard and big Fan of Mylaowai.com.

      • justrecently said

        Do they speak English or Spanish in Gibraltar? I could look it up on Wikipedia, I guess, but thought I’d ask here anyway.

        As for language courses, the only real way is to pay for them – even if it is youteachmechineseIteachyouenglish, and the money goes there and back again. Only by paying, you can make sure that you’ll be taught the language you want to learn.

        That’s strategic.

      • SpaSpaNiNiard said

        Justrecently: I am glad you mention that furuncle on Spain’s ass. They speak spanish and english there, the same goes to the argentinian Malvinas in the South Atlantic. Just for your record. No idea if it will be the case in 5-10 years time. Since decades (centuries…) there are talks between both governments to hand it over to Spain. Without cannons. We are civilized now in our EU…;-). But that is another topic and doesn’t fit here.

        As for your idea of how to handle the language theatre: You are a master strategist. Hard Cash is the solution! Yesss…

      • MyLaowai said

        I’ve been to Gib a few times – the only folks I heard speaking Spanish were the English who lived on the Costa Del Sol and who were in Gib for the day to buy cheap smokes.

        It’s a fantastic drive into the country, by the way – you have to drive across a busy military airbase in between landings and take-offs. One moment a Herkybird is blazing past, the next a Tornado. Most excellent.

    • S said

      Not only Spanish, French and Italian all sounded rather alike, most Spaniard look like spastics, a true reflection of their inbreed nature.

      • SpaSpaNiNiard said

        The famous inferiority complex of the English, when it comes to Spain, its culture and history is omnipresent until today as we can see perfectly on you. You anglosaxon beach gamba. Muahaha! Enjoy your fish, chips and oily sausages for breakfast, you jealous lamer.

      • MyLaowai said

        Oh, I totally agree. Spain has always been more than a match for the inferior English. Why, just last year Spain announced that it’s new, state-of-the-art Navy would be fitted with high-tech glass hulls, in order that the sailors may see their previous navies.

      • Alicia Bottechia said

        “The Spanish Empire lasted from the 15th century (1492) through—in the case of its African holdings—the latter portion of the 20th century” (Quoting Wikipedia). Actually, 1898 (US-Spanish War) can be marked as the final chapter in the fall of the Spanish Colonial Empire although it still holded (and still holds) territories in Africa.

        They sat very firmly in their seats as a World Power for more than 420 years. Their heritage is undeniable if we take a look to the spreading of the Spanish language and their culture.

        Suffering a decisive step back with the desastrous destruction of its fleet (together with the whole French Fleet) in 1805 at the Kap of Trafalgar by the English, and with Napoleon’s invasion of Spain in 1808 the doom fall was unstoppable. Like France in 1940 it was, although militarily strong enough to resist Napoleon, divided on the inside and therefore weakened itself, like France in 1940.

        An internal political vacuum followed and leaded to a temporary lost of power over its large american possesions, unrest and declarations of independence was the logical consequence…

        The Spanish history is highly complex and fascinating and it can’t be worked out here, but for the sake of historic accuracy, this shouldn’t be forgotten. The English shared a similar fate after the second world war…

        Grazie,

        Alicia

    • chin said

      Spanish, French and Italian do look similiar. I mean I can tell the difference because it’s not difficult as an American to see the differences. However, if you’re from a country where they don’t use the latin alphabet like China, then it’s probably more difficult. Asians in America and England and other countries obviously have people confuse Japanese and Chinese and Korean all the time. I can tell the difference because I’m not an idiot but common people in any country are.

    • 0112337 said

      Hola Senor(a)!!

      Por favor, perdon por el espanol malo. No hablo espanol para muchos anos. Solo puedo recordar un poco. Sin embargo, para responder a sus problema, por favor, sepan esto, en China, para el hombre comun, que son una herramienta del lenguaje. ¿Sabia usted piensa que tiene algun uso especial? ¿Sabe usted el idioma chino? ¿Sabe usted la cultura no? ¿Tiene alguna habilidad especial? ¿Por que el hombre sencillo que se interesen en ti?

      ¿Sabes como puedo ser frustrado cuando los latinos y espanoles se niegan a hablar Ingles aqui en los EE.UU.? Es una guerra de la poblacion! Usted y sus hijos de puta estan obligando a las personas en los EE.UU. a hablar español. Si eres obligando a los chinos a hablar espanol tambien?

      Cada vez que un espanol o latino responde en espanol, cambio mi discurso del Ingles al Chino.

      Comprender esto, el espanol es uno de los idiomas mas ilogico en el mundo. Tambien es uno de los mas mal que suena, como el sonido de las rocas rodando. Por favor, no tortura a otros, forzando su idioma diablo en ellos. Vale?

      • SpaSpaNiNiard said

        Yaya. We are Spaniards/Europeans and not Latinos. If you only know Mexicans over there, it’s not my problem and I am sorry that you get such a limited view of Spanish. What do many Americans know about Europe and the World..You are like Chinese. And you, 0112337, you really have no idea what you are talking about. Enjoy your tacos now and don’t torture us with your raped mexican pseudo-spanish.

        Anyways folks, this is getting stupid and lame. Ok, granted I started it, harhar.

        MyLaowai: Haha! Good one as always :-D

        Well, the English had their share too, I can assure you. Not that we should be proud of the misery and pain that we have inflicted on each other in past centuries…Let’s put it where it belongs: Valhalla of European imperialism/insanity. R.I.P.

        Ya, and it is true we have one of the most state-of-the-art navies and even 2 fucking aircraft carriers (why the heck do we need that costly shit and for what? To reconquer The Americas??? shhhh!) but the glass hulls are actually build in for one reason and one reason only: To watch Sardines swarms. We love Sardines, especially in tomato sauce. +Yummy+

        Ok, now i have better things to do guys. MyLaowai: I am curently reading your new post about the fire in Shanghai. Chapeaux! At least there is one in the China-Blogosphere who speaks it out. Cruel and true.

    • s said

      What is AN European ? Is is AN animal ?

      Could it be a fully qualified retard who calls himeself Spaniard ?

  7. Tang Binbin said

    Open Letter to All of enlgish Teacher in China

    Who did you think you are~~~??!! Do you know it is not so easy for a chinese to go to school or university,, we must working real hard to get to good school or university, because that school or university would have such many good english teacher experts which teaching us the english. we cannt always find that money to pay for you helping hand as teacher.

    it is diffcult for chinese。。。。。we know that foereigner teacher don’t like to be bother by us, but if chinese do not try to get more help with english, we will certain be to eliminate through competition.

    did you not understand? we know you are thus smart, or else you wouldn t pass strict exams to become english teacher in china, we aswell know tha you left high-salary job and beaitful girlfriend in west because of love the chinese cultures thus much. you must not~~ mis-understand us, we are feel very thankful for you to doing this. also we know that foreigners in china are not many, and get less and less~~~~soon maybe no foreinger left in china whatever,,we must be to be thankful for what one has、 to be happy with one’s lot.

    can you find it one’s hard to do sth. forgive us?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    • DaBizzare said

      It’s simple – save your chat for forums and classmates, let alone public English corners, school English corners and so on. By all means do send short, difficult questions to your laowai teacher, and he will usually be happy to respond with a brief answer that may require you to spend some of your own time researching more about the answer.

      For example. When you ask me, “Why is ‘which’ correct and ‘that’ wrong for “, did you ever bother to load google and search for “which vs that”?? Gosh – learning by yourself – what a concept.

      • MyLaowai said

        For what it is worth, I consider that Tang Binbin has a point. It is not easy to be a student in this country. Mind you, I also consider that, in his comment, he is missing the point of your post.

        So, I award you both marks.

  8. Mei-Mei said

    See, I could perfectly understand you’re pissed off if you were in your own country, bothered by a lot of unnerving students you’ve never asked to come over. But hang on … you’re in CHINA!! You’re earning money (supposedly a lot of it for someone who just speaks his native language and doesn’t have any other qualifications) for teaching those “bastards”. And if you can’t bear it anymore, go home for God’s sake, stop reproducing the stereotype of an arrogant and completely ignorant laowai that’s making life for us normal ones so hard and start thinking about what people mean when they tell you not mix up politics and people.

    PS: Inflated prices – that really was a good one.

    • waterychestnut said

      Anyone this bitter should just go home. That or take up a new profession. They sound arrogant and have no respect for the country they are in.

      I don’t have the same problems as the poster, It’s give and take. Some days you are the statue and some days you are the pigeon. You can’t change China and you can’t change other people so maybe this post was an expression that the poster needs to change something in their own lives rather than bitch and moan about what he cannot change.

      I’m a qualified foreign teacher too. Big deal.

      • justrecently said

        The internet would be a less fascinating place if anyone “this bitter” would simply go home. Da Bizarre, jia you.

      • Slap2tickle said

        Give and take, yes, I take the cash and then give a class, simple business, at least we give something in return unlike the Chinese that like to just take and not give..

      • DaBizzare said

        Bitter? Hard to describe someone who spends many hours every week maintaining a free English learning website as bitter. That same person also spending many unpaid hours working with students and friends to improve their English because those people return something, rather than just take take take, lie, cheat, steal & deceive. God knows I wish I could be magically granted a thousand extra hours every day in hyperspace to service the endless and infinite needs of the student population, but we have to face reality. One laowai teacher cannot hold down a fulltime job (yes, I work 35+ hours a week) AND somehow magically find the time to personally tutor thousands of students.

        There are many hundreds of students who regularly receive my assistance, because they realise the demands on my time, and merely post a succint and well-thought out question to me, and patiently wait for a reply when I have time.

        Pass the baijiu please, my KTV girl just fell asleep.

    • SpaSpaNiNiard said

      Mei-Mei, reading you, your CPC- and Xinhua polished views, I am covinced than ever that you will actually make it true:

      China To Overtake U.S.A. As World’s Biggest Asshole By 2020

      http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-china-to-overtake-us-as-worlds-biggest-assh,17277/

      0112337: Real good competitors are licking at your heels already! Do Something! (Assuming you are a national from the bilingual (spanish and english) and multicultural chaotic hot-pot nation called USA. If i am mistaken you can invite me to McDonalds. It will be the worst pun ishment you can ever inflict on me and real human beings. Really.

      • 0112337 said

        No creo en la politica, voy siempre que haya oportunidad. Pero a la luz de Shiva, destruyo hipocritas como usted y senor mylaowai.

        si vienes a Nueva York, me invito a cenar en Peter Luger.

        And you are right, I don’t know what I am talking about, fortunately, neither do you. Enjoy your sardines!!

      • justrecently said

        Claro – 0112337 no cree en la politica. Que la partida “communista” cree en la politica no es su problema, ya que él, con mucha probabilidad, es un Americano frustrado, con algos antecesores chinos. China, para él es un gran objeto remoto, algo para hacerse una paja.

      • 0112337 said

        Fine JR, believe what you will. Live in your wonderful little bubble.

        I can also be black you know, like black African, from Zimbabwe? According to Scooby, our professor, I might even be the descendent of African slaves. You never know…

      • 0112337 said

        Furthermore, what is it with you and MyLaowai’s fixation on young people and masturbation? Is this what you think all young people do these days, on their spare time? That they self fuck, every few hours? Like automatic dehumidifiers?

        With the power of Christ I command you to come out of your bubble, my son, the great Chairman Mao says, “if all that a foreigner knows about Chinese youth is that they masturbate, then that foreigner has absolutely no idea about the future of China.”

      • justrecently said

        With the power of Christ… – How can a pig try to discuss a clockwork?
        Before you command grown-up people something, you’ll need to become more consistent – it’s either Live in your wonderful little bubble, or I command you to come out of your bubble. Can’t be both.
        Fixation on masturbation is for frustrated people like you. I believe that most people – outside China – have a reasonable sex life, and I have no reason to complain about mine.
        “Future of China”? Glad it isn’t mine.

      • 0112337 said

        Sehr gut, mein Führer! I will try my best to stay consistent and fit things into a linear pattern. My points are as follows;

        1. This Mylaowai is a scoundrel for bitching about the hand that feeds him, and for being a coward by doing it in secret. He is also a pig for using this opportunity to sell merchandise. His blog is trash, therefore, he doesn’t warrant respect. Anyone can and should post farce here. Readers who believe his posts are serious and they are entirely reflective of the people there are trash as well. Why not meet trash with trash? Should you ever stick a rose on cow dung?

        2. You are a fool for coming here all the time and posting AS IF, the key words here are “AS IF”, this is an important blog. With all due respect, I don’t think you have a life, let alone a sex life.

        3. Yes, Chinese people had a reasonable sex life before they came into contact with the West in the modern era. After this encounter, everything went wrong. You are a fool to think that people in the West, Europeans in particular, have reasonable sex lives.

        4. The future of China should not be your concern. However, I seem to think that it has always been one of interest to you and to Germans in general since they perceive China to be a major world power in the future.

        You know, fuhrer, sometimes, growing up also means being able to interpret other’s hidden intentions through indirect language. Sometimes what they say may not actually be what they mean.

      • justrecently said

        Well… the tragic emphasis is on you will try to be consistent. “Sometimes what they say may not actually be what they mean” only means that “they” don’t master their own language.
        More about consistence: I think this blog is important. That’s why I’m commenting here. You don’t say what you mean: you claim it isn’t important, and you are commenting here anyway.
        China may become quite a nuiscance in the future. But its future still isn’t my future.
        I know that you are in need of a Führer. But for that, you’ll have to look elsewhere. Choose from China’s rich culture. You can have any Führer, from Hu Jintao to Li Hongzhi. Congratulations!

  9. Li Feng said

    Great post! Before any 愤青gets all uppity, please note that while in most cases we choose to live and work in Chinatown, does not mean that we are not allowed to air any grievances. It is human nature. Lets all try to follow “The Golden Rule.”

  10. “#1: You want a private Laowai tutor? It’s 150+/hr. A Chinese tutor for us, at most, is 50/hr.”

    As an economics lesson, its kind of a no-brainer (supply and demand of chinese speakers). Just one problem. Its’ more like 70-100RMB for a great one on one Mandarin tutor. Sure you can hire some guy from a small village to teach you for like 30RMB an hour, but guess what, you’re gonna end up talking like someone from the countryside. And that’s not really the point, is it? If you want to talk like a businessman/CEO, you have to pay. Here in Shanghai its not unheard of to pay 100RMB an hour.

    I know, beside the point. ;)

  11. JD said

    wak.

  12. Hans said

    Actually, I agree with the difficulty to find a qualified Chinese teacher to teach Chinese. The problem is that all the Chinese teachers are teaching in Chinese education style, which does not suit me much; it is too time consuming. I would be happily spending 200-300 RMB per hour if someone is capable of providing late night (past 9pm) or early morning (6am) lessons in a solid crash course format. This requires being on time and reliable, as well as flexible to meet my schedule.
    I am simply not a big fan of repeat repeat repeat. I speak quite a few languages and have had positive experiences with crash courses, but I am unable to find this here unfortunately.

    I think THIS is really an opportunity for Chinese teachers to make serious money if targeted at the right foreigners who have the ability and willingness to spend more on this.
    With the current market offers however, I simply do not see a valid time-value equation on studying Chinese. Please correct me if I am wrong, I’d be happy to be wrong!

  13. justrecently said

    The patterns of Chinese lessons can be unnecessarily boring, when the aim is to actually learn the language – they can even be unefficient -, and to gain some basic faculty of speech, in real standard situations, crash courses may work. But given that Mandarin doesn’t have too many syllables, learning the written characters is very helpful too. In my experience, it is essential in most cases to have characters on ones mind as a learner, too. They help to make sense of the syllables.
    The Chinese way of learning and the Chinese language are probably closely related. Foreigners can’t escape escape the treadmill all of the time either, if they want to learn the Chinese language properly.

    • Hans said

      I partially agree but I also disagree. Yes, if I want to learn writing, I will have to enter the madness at some point, but basic communication should be possible without. Chinese essentially is not a very difficult language besides pronunciation and writing from what I understand, the grammar is fairly simple as compared to other languages, e.g. Finnish, French, German etc. .

      For me, I think the writing is simply not worth it, as for all I know, I will never be able to speak fluently enough, or write good enough to be respected in a business environment. I know many foreigners here that have spend plus ten years in China and some of them speak near perfect mandarin, a bit of Cantonese and some even Shanghai dialect, but still, when it comes down to business, their Chinese is not being (wanted to be?) heard.

  14. S said

    Those who can’t do, teach. Those who can’t teach, teach English.

    Be grateful to the feeding hands, otherwise you can go home and join the dole queue.

  15. justrecently said

    Hey, stoogie – seems that you have been badly missing mylaowai’s posts, too. Be grateful to this feeding hand.

  16. 0112337 said

    你爷爷我今天心情不好,想骂人.

  17. Termishater said

    I´m not from America, in fact i I live in Sweden. As it seems you are quite an spoiled brat. If you don´t like your salary or your job just stay away from it. If you go to China of course you must adapt to their culture and not the other way.

    There will always be some laowei that will teach for a cheap penny awithout getting anything in return. Do you want to learn Chinese, well then I guess you must pay the Chinese to get to learn their language.

    Seriouslly, if U dion´t likte the country, the system, wtf are U doing there`?

    • EUROPA said

      The majority of Chinese dispise China and its system. Of course, they will never tell you that, because denying China is really a matter of “losing face” for a Chinese. Even so, you can see their real thoughts at all times. They sell their ass to leave China, invade embassies and pay everything they have to go to the “Paradise”, like Europe, South America and North America and Mars and Atlantis. They just want to go out, out out out, out of their great China. They don’t care where. Once they are out, they never want to go back. Understandable.

      You know nothing, because you don’t live here and you don’t know their tragic mentality and inner state. I promise you, if you ask chinese people if they would either choose to stay in China or emmigrate to another country (better use a Chinese to do this exciting survey, otherwise you will not get the real answers…), 99% will leave China. China will be empty. But lucky us, they cannot leave that easy….

      • 0112337 said

        Son, you want to hear the truth from Chinese people right? How they see other countries and their own? Well, here is the truth. You are half correct. Many Chinese in China want to leave because there are NO JOBS and NO UNIONS there. Hundreds of people compete for every job, no matter how disgusting or insignificant. My friends from childhood, who are masters degree holders now, compete tooth and tail for a job as a ‘carrier’ at the Ba Baoshan Crematorium in Beijing. Their job requires them to transport dead bodies to the furnace. Does this situation exist in the ‘West’ ? Will a Stanford, Oxford, Sorbonne, or I don’t know Bonn masters degree holder in philosophy or art history go work as a public bathroom cleaner or ‘carrier’ at a crematorium because of there are no other jobs available? My good friends’ whore/foot massager in Beijing has a masters degree in economics from 浙江大学 (Zhejiang University), I joke you not. She makes far more as a whore, and even that job is competitive. Not every girl can sell themselves even if they want to.

      • 0112337 said

        The problem is the majority of Chinese people in China do not have an accurate view of the ‘West’. The State controlled media, does the exact opposite of the Western media. Whereas the latter never fails to slander, belittle, twist, and antagonize China, the Chinese media never stop embarrassing itself by perpetuating the glorious achievements of the West. THAT is a fundamentally Chinese problem, a cultural one. The notion that the “monk from abroad can preach the sutras better” or in the equivalent American version, believing that the “grass is always greener on the other side.” During the 80s – 90s Chinese media always portrayed the West as this rosy, heavenly place of civilization, respect, wealth, advanced technology, and plenty. Never once did they show racism, ignorance, bigotry in America, apartheid in South Africa, muslim relations problems in Europe, and Europe’s fractious nature, etc. etc. The result is the state propaganda machine instilled a sense of inferiority in the Chinese people. The most absurd, ridiculous, and insane result of all. The Nationalist Guomindang were miserably corrupt and inept in many ways, but I doubt they will be so gauche as the communist farmers to create this effect on the people.

        So after watching a few American movies like Rambo, Titanic, some dumb fuck farmers decided they understood democracy and the West, so they tried to get out of the country in droves. But of course, western governments aren’t stupid either. They only took in the most skilled, upper crust member of the formerly dumb fuck socialist society. These fucktards then went to the West and realized they were suddenly brought down to the bottom of society, to the bottom of an unknown alien society, doing jobs they wouldn’t even consider back home in China, and being belittled by aliens. So these fucktards then become even more patriotic than the Chinese in China, and their offspring become the new generation of fenqings on the internet. It’s the most bizarre tragedy of all. Most Chinese living overseas, at least in America, despise the barbaric, low cultured, village country, and today, dream of finding a similar good job back home in China. My friends in Europe are giving me similar stories as well. They are tired of a decadent society where they see no future growth or potential in their careers.

        Chinese people leave their country because of three reasons,

        1. There are no jobs back home.

        2. They want to get a degree from abroad to make them more marketable back home.

        3. They are idealistic, stupid, uniformed, or plain nuts.

        Most Chinese people living abroad are moving back, and the story everybody is saying is that they regret not having gone back sooner to cash in on China’s dramatic rise. Hai Gui are no longer enjoying as much prestige as before. Oxford, Harvard grads abound in China today.

        In fact, things are going the other way. Many of my American friends here are taking crash courses in Chinese in the hope of being hired by a foreign financial firm that is expanding its operations in China. Many people in the industry are saying that in 50 years the center of world finance will be in Beijing and Shanghai, not London or New York anymore.

  18. kawasaki said

    MyLaowai, If U don´t like where U are, what U do, just fuck off with your complain!
    Either U are in , our you are out.

  19. MyLaowai said

    FYI, I just received this. I’m not sure if it has any appeal to anyone here, but feel free to take a look. It seems legit, and maybe some of you could make a quid out of it?

    Hey there,

    Just wanted to pass on a note about a new student created start-up that your readers may be interested in, called WeblishPal. WeblishPal is a site where overseas students looking to improve their English can connect with native English speakers across the globe. We’re currently looking to recruit English speakers (ie, university & college students in Canada, the US, and expats in China) for the site and were hoping you could help us get the word out.

    Why is this interesting to your readers? Mainly because it is a great source of income, it’s interesting, and doesn’t interfere with studies. You don’t need to be a professional teacher, just interested in helping others improve English, and earn money at the same time. There are no minimum hours required and as a teacher, the English speakers can set their own class rates and lead 30-minute conversation chats whenever they want to. Also, WeblishPal is easy, secure, and has everything in one place – to find students, conduct classes in a video chat room, and receive payment without any hassles.

    Anyways, check it out for yourself – http://www.weblishpal.com and feel free to contact me if you have any questions or are interested in more info. Thanks!

    Cheers,

    Barbara


    Barbara Tassa
    Co-Founder
    http://www.weblishpal.com
    @barbie_t
    barbara@weblishpal.com

  20. SpaSpaNiNiard said

    0112337,

    you are not stupid. You made insightful comments here and i recognize that. I am serious and I would drink a couple of beers with you at any time in China. No joke. Even so, your spanish language skills leaves much to be desired…Actually a shame for being a citizen of a bi-lingual country (USA). Do your best to change it. C’mon man. Don’t worry, they teach us english as secondary language in the EU, after Spanish and French. Europe rulez so much you know. And we will survive. But I am not sure about the USA and China…

    MyLaowai will be very amused to read this (he is the laughing third party here dudes…damn), but why you continuously piss on his face? He just sees the shit behind the firework and smiles like so many of us + he has the balls to write it down in a blog. Don’t fool yourself and stop smelling Chanel No. 5 where there is actually a pile of shit.

    Hasta luego, and try spanish sardines in tomato sauce with bread and wine. Damn, it’s really great. Forget the “latino” (do you even know what this term means? I don’t think so.) tacos, Spiderman.

    • 0112337 said

      ha, I am flattered Spaniard. I took four semesters of Spanish back in college, so my Spanish is not the best in the world. America is not officially bi-lingual yet, schools have not started teaching classes in duo Spanish and English format although government issued documents are now in both languages, more or less. I certainly foresee the United States becoming completely bilingual in 50 years, by that point, if estimates are correct, Latin Americans and Mexicans will account for somewhere around 40-50% of the U.S. population. If you or your buddies over there are still around by that point, you can simply fly over and enjoy the fruits of your conquistadors’ hard work. We will all be speaking espanol and watching Univision instead of Fox or HBO.

      Your other comment surprises me. “Smile” ? Got the “balls to write it down” ? This is the internet. I don’t understand. You and this Mylaowai can write down whatever you wish to just like me. What are you afraid of? Isn’t this what you and your culture advocate? Free expression without inhibition or shame? Without a sense of propriety? Granted that I haven’t seen anyone advertising themselves for S&M on here yet, which is good.

      Moreover, you all made a decision to racially criticize a country and its people. Should you then be surprised when they curse you back? I don’t know how to break this down further for you, it’s common sense. When you enter another country, you are a guest, and you have rules to abide by. If you don’t, your host will voice his or her displeasure.

      If this racist schmuck Mylaowai shows no respect to the country that feeds him and shames it with such vitriol then shouldn’t I, a displeased free citizen, be allowed to criticize him back to the degree that I see fit? This is reciprocity, can’t you see? He comes here, curses at my people, in order to relieve himself and so I curse him back. This is natural. Do you see something wrong here? He is displeased by his surroundings and I am also displeased by mine. We both come here to spew our trash in order to have some peace. The difference is, his is humorous and mine is surprisingly insightful.

      Unlike him, I don’t see people along racist or nationalist lines. That’s why my comments vacillate, to the dire angst of our friend the good mannered Nazi, JR. Who, I think, wants to debate with me.

      People in the end are all the same, however, the difference in the way they manifest their human nature are caused by; religion, education, occupation, the entertainment they are exposed to, and their country’s economic, political, and legal systems. These collectively create what the ignorant layman call, “culture”, as these choices evolve over time.

      If you can’t tell, I come here mostly to relax. I am not taking this seriously and neither should you.

      Talking about food and beer. I am serious, if you come to New York, check out Peter Luger’s Steakhouse and Wu Liang Ye in Midtown. There is a Peter Luger’s in Brooklyn, it’s got the best steak in town and Wu Liang Ye is simply phenomenal. Try their sizzling Sichuan scallops. Amazing.

      On the topic of beers, try “风花雪月” from Dali, Yunnan. It’s made from the waters that flowed down the Jade Dragon Mountain. The beer is crystal clear and is absolutely the best in the world. Avoid Yanjing beer from my city Beijing. It tastes like piss.

      • MyLaowai said

        As I have stated many times previously, this whole ‘race’ nonsense is the sort of mindless drivel spouted by those who believe that Homo Sapiens Sapiens actually consists of different races. It doesn’t. We are all one race. End of story.

        I criticize China on cultural grounds. I love the countries of Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore, Malaysia – all countries with a large percentage of ethnic Chinese. They have a lot of people in those countries who are ethnically Chinese, but who are not in any way similar to the folks in Han China.

        Don’t get ahead of yourself with this ‘race’ story, Sparky. China is fucked for much better reasons than that.

      • justrecently said

        That’s why my comments vacillate, to the dire angst of our friend the good mannered Nazi, JR. Who, I think, wants to debate with me.
        Angst and nazi are just your assumptions, Mr Número. But at least you can see that I’m good-mannered. Maybe you can learn from me… nope – I’m afraid you can’t.
        The way you keep trivializing fascism tells a lot about you. And yes, I do want to debate with you, but not to convince you – rather to help showing readers of these threads what alcohol and China can do to people like you.

      • 0112337 said

        Hey, on the topic of culture, here is another thought. Suppose we normalize the variables and create a world with one religion, education system, one form of entertainment, one economic, political, and legal system, there would be no more culture and no more conflict along those lines. This fool Mylaowai would then focus his time on making money rather than finding fault with his host country’s culture.

        In addition, there would probably be no more terrorist attacks. Instead of strapping bomb to themselves and blowing up the new world order of economic efficiency and comfort maximization, Islamic extremists would be rapping and they would be the new blacks’ in the entertainment world with legions of feeble minded young followers. Terrorism, as we know it, would be eradicated. People would listen and truly understand the terrorists’ message…cuz, after all…music and art are the only mediums which people can connect to regardless of their differences.

        Glory to enlightened dictatorship. The only way to sustainable peace in the world.

      • 0112337 said

        Laowai, I love the countries of Melbourne and Sydney Chinatowns as well. All countries with an unfortunate population of non-asian Australians living in them. Although the alien populations living there are sinicized to some degree, they still retained their foreign culture. In time, the aliens there will be sinicized as well, just like the residents of Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore, and Malaysia.

        P.S. Have you lived in those places before? Don’t bring chewing gum into Singapore. You don’t want to know what they will do to you.

      • 0112337 said

        By the way Laowai, I don’t think you understood the point of what I was saying before. The reason you liked Hong Kong, Malaysia, and Singapore is because those places are British. Many of the Chinese people living there believe in Jesus Christ and went through an education system that was British. They are Anglicized Chinese people, of course you would feel at ease.

        Taiwanese are half Japanese, and the Japanese have been Westernized ever since about 200 years ago. Culture shock will always be uncomfortable. Internalize the good, and keep out the bad. That’s what I do with American culture.

      • MyLaowai said

        Bullshit. How dare you tell me why I like a place or otherwise? If you didn’t hear it from me, then you don’t know. End of story.

        And while we’re at it, get your facts right and your story straight. Try the blue pills tomorrow – they might work.

      • justrecently said

        I think your blog has achieved its mission, as far as 011 is concerned, Mylaowai. He doesn’t know a great deal about you, or about other countries, but you’ve helped him to understand that China is no better than any other country.
        As far as that’s concerned, he knows even more about the rest of the world now than did Lin Tse-hsu, more than 150 years ago.
        This should count as a small milestone, and a reason to celebrate.
        Among the casualties is 011’s old hobbyhorse of comparing his motherland with other people’s motherlands and winning every time. You can’t expect him to like that.

      • 0112337 said

        Laowai, you know, there is a certain novelty to chatting with fools. Like I said, I care little about you or this blog. You and this are both trash and I come here relax. Careful of how you portray yourself though. You are starting to look more and more like a fenqing. Remember, internalize the good and keep out the bad. You are a Westerner for god’s sake. Right?

        JR, I see you have finally reached the last stage of Nirvana, total paranoia, and oblivious to what I say. If I were also a fenqing like you, this is how I would have responded to my comment,

        “Now dear, we all know you are young, so the sensible thing to do according to your esteemed Chinese culture would be to respect your elders and not speak until told to do so. Have YOU been to those countries? If not, should you be qualified to speak?”

        There, Fuhrer, how does that sound?

      • justrecently said

        how does that sound?
        If I had said that, it would suggest that I’m not aware that your esteemed Chinese culture is nothing but a fetish without any practical consequence for fenqings like you, 011. The only fethish of yours that does and will lead to consequences is your soft spot for fuhrers. And surely, anyone is free to speak – but so far, you haven’t shown your qualification to speak and to make sense. Your pretense that you care little about this blog and only come here to relax is, well, just a lame excuse for your inability to say something with rhyme or reason.

        Nirvana is quite the opposite of paranoia (and both of them are, once again, your personal assumptions). I think you are overestimating your role here.

        Feel free to have a dialog with yourself on this thread, if you need it, 011.
        But you will have to live with other peoples’ comments, too. I think the challenge of that – and the insult it poses to your inability to handle it – is what really keeps you glued to this blog. Poor little number.

  21. 0112337 said

    By the way, what does ‘Latino’ mean to you Spaniards? It means Latin Americans in the U.S.

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