Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

Christmas, 2016

Posted by MyLaowai on Thursday, December 22, 2016

I just want to start out, here and now, by saying that I’ve had a great year. Really, it’s been my best year in twenty years, no bullshit. 2016 went very well for me and in nearly every respect exceeded my expectations.

But yeah, it’s been a pretty rough year for most people in the world, I get it. And not a very nice year for human decency, or Rule Of Law, or just about any other high-minded concept you care to name. It’s been a great ride for demagogues and dictators and the angels of hate and all their minions, but none of that has played out well for ordinary folks anywhere at all, and next year is set to be fairly terrible as well. Don’t be surprised if ammo becomes a sort of de facto currency in some places, is what I’m saying.

So, this year none of my girls will be dressing up as Christmas Eve for your entertainment, and none of us will be leading with a Christmas Rant. Sorry to disappoint, but perhaps this year we should try a bit harder than usual to find a little kindness in our hearts for people we don’t feel much affiliation with. It seems like the right thing to do.

That said, I did want to talk about a problem that’s been in my thoughts: Illegal Immigrants. Bear with me, please.

One of the countries I am a citizen of, has a problem with illegal immigrants. Some people in my country are in favour of extreme measures. I am going to be referring to the largest group of illegals in this piece, so as not to be accused of painting with too broad a brush.

Many of these illegals come bearing what can only be described as an extreme form of their religion, and one that is not popular in my country. They don’t seem to feel that local laws should apply to them; that they are somehow immune and should only answer to the laws of their own home country. They are the ones that are most over-represented in political activism. They don’t make much effort to learn the local culture or speak the way local folks do, and they frequently hang out with their own countrymen, celebrating their own, obscure, festivals. People in my country are having to support these illegals with their tax contributions, and are paying the price of a housing bubble caused, in part, by legal foreign investment from these illegal immigrants’ home country.

What to do? Should we get tough on these people? Should we put up signs at the border saying they aren’t welcome? Or would that cause an international outcry and charges of racism? Currently, when these illegals are caught, they are deported after being given due legal process, but this clearly isn’t working as the long-term trend is towards more immigration from that country. And, given we do have extensive trade with that country, would we really want to put that at risk? Should we be afraid of possible military or economic consequences if we are too tough on these illegals, or should we go ahead and target their families for, say, drone strikes? Remember, these illegal immigrants make up the largest portion of the illegal immigration that my country faces. What do you all think?

I don’t know if it matters what the ethnicity of these illegals is, but in case you are wondering, they are White Americans.

Something to think about in 2017, I reckon.

Merry Christmas.

Santa Looking for Reindeer Replacements

15 Responses to “Christmas, 2016”

  1. Spaniard said

    MyLaowai, I am your favorite Spaniard. You are my favorite “English Channel 16th century English Pirate” from china: Not sure if you are still alive in “harmonious” stinky china but let me tell you a short story about a dinner with my english friends in c…: We argued about Gibraltar and why this weird furuncle still exists in the 21th century..well..since I am not a nationalist I said that noone cares if you stay on that little monkey island for an additional 1000 years. After pouring some spanish wine into them they agreed that Gibraltar should be handed over to Spain before it’s being invaded by Spanish paras and that the Brexit will create a VERY complicated situation to the “monkey rock” and it will be unsustainable…. OK!

    Concerning your latest post (gracias pirata): UK is a muslim country. It might shock you, but it is the reality. Now it is your turn. We had ours in 711 A.D. I have been to London, Dover, Folkestone and Brighton last year and well….i felt like I am in little Mecca or little India or little china or little pakistan or little ISIS…not a bad thing except little ISIS and little Mecca….and allahs snackbars.

    You know this is the price we have to pay for our colonial past, but Spain really does it better than you. We only, mostly, accept Spanish speaking immigrants from our past, wast, great and shiny empire and offer the lash to the rest.

    Why did a chinese (with broken english) in London told me: “I am an American and have a password.-…ehhh…passport from the usA and my country is also chaiina DungDong and UK is my country too” So, he is a national of 3 countries plus a chinese. Oh wonder, how beautiful is that?

    Something is wrong pirata :-(

    I will now wait for the yellow numbers and his middle wisdom…

    • MyLaowai said

      Gibraltar is lovely. Apart from the damned monkeys, that is. But at least you can still get a decent pint there, and the road in from Spain can be a little bit exciting when they have planes taking off and landing across it :)

      And actually, I liked living in Spain, too.

      • Spaniard said

        Jeje, ok good to know. :-D I have been to Gibraltar too, yes it is lovely, it’s also weird, red coats parading and monkeys laughing on the rock. it’s like the 18th century. The border is surreal and well…anachronistic..it will get even weirder when the Brexit is done because that furuncle will not be subject to EU-Shengen law anymore..oh Jesus. Don’t worry they won’ start shooting Spanish cannons like in the 17th century :-D. Only EU-cannons ;-)

      • Spaniard said

        …and talking about a decent pint..ya..I tried it as well in Gib..it was actually an Irish beer called Guinness something…it was ok and got me stoned. Spaniards prefer wine as you know, but hey, we have “Aguila” which is not a bad beer. Well, the Germans make it better ;-). I am very sorry pirata but english beer (and tea and food and and…) is just terrible and noone, I mean noone, likes it in mainland Europe.The Germans, Czechs and Poles (in that order) make the best beer in the world. Not you. Not Gib.

      • 0112337 said

        Look at how beautiful this is, a Euro-loser, self help, group-think, huddle group. A true Euro-Anonymous.

        You Europeans are PATHETIC. Still dreaming of how things were, eating off of the hardwork of your ancestors, keeping up appearances, holding airs, yet too damn lazy to go out and make something of yourselves.

        Meanwhile your bastards are doing the dirty work for you. Today, it’s the Mexicans that are doing the conquest of America via population warfare and you, that are sitting home sipping Cappuccino talking about hunger in Africa and planning out next month’s food budget.

        How laughable… keep writing Mylaowai. You know, I have been showing this blog to my Chinese friends, they LOVE it! You are writing to entertain THEM now! Keep it up!

    • 0112337 said

      Eh Perrito!!! ¿que pasa?

      I was just in your country homz! In Madrid. It was poor as HELL!!!!!

      :) :)

      • Spaniard said

        Yellow numbers is here with a great insight of Spain and Europe! Yay! I have been to China for 10 minutes and it’s a really rich and clean country and so harmonious and nice. And they even respect laws and human rights! Even organs and religions! Woooow!

        It’s so full of history, humanity, great and honest people and feces. A truly advanced society and far more advanced than any European third world country. I guess this is the reason why so many Chinese want to stay in China and hate living abroad, in primitive countries like Spain, UK, Sudan, USA, Andorra, San Marino, Canada etc.

        Yes, China is better and much much richer than Spain and Europe, I agree. China is so rich in everything, especially culture and DNA! They even own the South China Sea because it’s theirs, since ancient times. They will keep it for the next 1000 years, you’ll see. We are jealous of China’s greatness and civilization.

        Oh and China’s economy is doing so well! The LARGEST in the whole world and it’s so innovative! Why we can’t be as innovative as the Chinese? *sniff*. Without China we wouldn’t even have T-Shirts and culture in Europe! We are totally dependent of China. Thank you China, please teach us poor Europeans your great culture and your world language (spoken in 5000 countries around the world).

        I am sure 2017 will produce another 8% GDP growth for China and everything will be harmonious, as always in China. Please trust in China’s CCP stats, it’s not 1-2% growth, noooo, it’s 8% or even 28%. In any case China is the BIGGEST, LARGEST and BEST in the WORLD. This will continue for the next 5000 years. Until the big bang comes.

        We were waiting for you numbers I will now leave the floor to Don MyLaowai or Sir MyLaowai to deal with numbers because I don’t want to cause a toiletguo blood bath. He’s better than me and a much better Diplomat.

        Good luck :-D.

      • 0112337 said

        Platha Mayor and the shops around El Centro were a dump and the poor there were everywhere begging for only 7-10 Euros for a meal. People on the street dressed like people in China in the 80s and graffiti and trash were everywhere, and the woman.. oh my god..they look like fucking witches from Grimm’s fairy tales! Literally not a single pretty woman walking on the street. When I asked one what’s the unemployment rate, he told me it’s like 50-70%, even more for young people.

        Madrid! The CAPITAL city.

        And here is Perrito drinking Cappuccino, sucking on criadillas/bull testicles, talking about the hunger problem in Africa and various shortcomings in China…

        LMAO. You Europeans…

        Don’t come to our lands to steal our jobs! Stay home! SUCK on that bull testicle, and philosophize about the African hunger crisis!!

  2. Spaniard said

    Quote: “What to do? Should we get tough on these people? Should we put up signs at the border saying they aren’t welcome?”

    Get tough on your government who is driving you into isolationism (Brexit) and into the bloody arms of US-americanism.
    Easy to say for me and my people who have a different history than you (well not really; we share a lot of bloody wars and some alliances with each other (when it served our common interests ;-)) and mentality than you. Fact is: all those snackbars go north…to your island (and sweden, and germany etc.) where they see the less resistance for their allah-snacks. In Spain we stick donkey shit into their mouth and they move on, maybe you should do the same or do it like the “human” harmonious middle-shit chinese way: sell their organs.

  3. Spaniard said

    ¡Feliz Navidad!
    Merry Christmas!
    Frohe Weihnachten!
    Joyeux Noël!


  4. Spaniard said

    ¡Feliz Año Nuevo!
    Happy New Year!
    Frohes Neues Jahr!
    Bonne Année!

    Yellow Numbers: 2017 will be a terrible year for China and great for the civilized world. I am not kidding. Just wait. DOOM. I like that game. Don Sir MyLaowai: Continue your blog: We love you!

    • 0112337 said

      Vale, Feliz Ano de El Perrito a ti tambien…Perrito!! Que seas rico/perrito en el ano nuevo.

      Te Amo MUCHO MUCHO!


      -0112337 (Tu Rey, El Numero Amarillo de MAGNIFICO)


  5. 0112337 said

    And with that, gentlemen and lady, I wish you all a wonderful new year!!!

    It’s 9:00pm here, Dec. 31, 2016. The Big Apple sends its finest…Fuck You’s….to YOU!!


    – Sinceramente Tuyo,

    El Rey, Numero Amarillo de MAGNIFICO, FIRST of the world (CBE), Eroberer der Europäer, Illuminateur de l’incivilisé, labhairt babla babla, de beste,



    • Spaniard said

      I have a few and great British (one of them is a Scot) friends in China. I won’t tell you the city. In a Japanese restaurant, we were approached by a Chink and remember: we were just eating dinner and my friends (3 good friends from Britain, 1 from Japan and 1 from Bangladesh) were sitting together and they were with their Chinese fiancées and gf’s. We didn’t bother anyone. We just wanted to eat and talk and a have a social evening.

      Then a Chink came up and said “You are not allowed to have a chinese girlfriend in Chaiiina”, we ignored the brownish-yellow orang-utan. But the Chink continued to open his mouth, showing his rotten teeth…I will make it short: at the end he called 4 more of his chinkfriends and they attacked us.

      Me, my british friends, the japanese and the Bangladeshi beat the shit shit out of them. They laid on the ground and, this is not a joke, were crying like pussies and little girls and yelling: “The laowais attacked us, Chinese come help us, they hurted the feelings of the chinese people” and cried some more while covering their little dicks and testicles.

      When the police arrived he tried to falsify the incident and said that we attacked HIM, LOL. typical chinese. They chinese police didn’t buy it and left without any comment. Welcome to Chinkland, the biggest and darkest shithole of a country that ever existed on Earth.

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