Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

‘Super Typhoon’ Muifa – My Arse

Posted by MyLaowai on Sunday, August 7, 2011

The Chinese have been calling it a ‘Super Typhoon’. I call it ‘a normal day at the seaside in any normal country’. But, as usual, the international press have been buying into the story – hook, line, sinker, rod, reel, fisherman, and pier. The dozy, lazy fucks.

230,000 people evacuated in Zhejiang province alone? Really? Seems a lot. But wait, because didn’t the so-called ‘Super Typhoon’ strike on a weekend? When all the kids were home from school? Oh yes, so I guess the kids that didn’t go to school could be considered to be ‘evacuated’. I mean, if you were a lazy fucking reporter who likes Communist Party headlines, that is.

Thirty-five fishing boats missing? Try ‘a few fisherman were at the KTV getting their knob scrubbed and the rest were arrested by the Japanese Coast Guard for illegal fishing’. But hey, another good headline, right?

Seventy-five flights cancelled out of Shanghai? True, actually. But I know for a fact that wind speeds at the airport in question were barely sufficient to fly a kite. Makes for a better story if we just use the Communist Party line though, right guys?

“Stock up on emergency supplies of food, water, and cash in case of storm-related power outages,” we are told. Well, that happens every day in China. Power outages are as common as people shitting on the footpath. But not because of storms; because of the need to keep thousands of empty buildings fully lit at all times in an attempt to keep from losing face.

It’s bad enough that the Chinese are scared of their own shadows, and terrified of the prospect of any rain cleaning the dirt from their filthy bodies. It’ s far worse when Western news agencies report the same old tired headlines without bothering to check their facts. It’s disgraceful when they are content to re-use decades-old footage showing the same bunch of soldiers building the same sandbag dykes in the same overflowing rivers.

I’m writing this from the worst-affected part of East China, and I’m doing so from my balcony, whilst sipping a gin & tonic. Wind? A very mild, cooling breeze. Rain? Nope – and although the Aston did catch a few drops during the night, it wasn’t enough to wash the dust off, so my coolie had better get a move on and wash the thing properly if he doesn’t want another beating.

‘Super Typhoon’ my arse.

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8 Responses to “‘Super Typhoon’ Muifa – My Arse”

  1. dasi said

    So, another thing we have in comon with China: power shortages. And propaganda. Sure hope you’re kidding about the beating.

  2. dasi said

    Just in case ydk there are other places with power shortages, i.e. wannabee commie copy cats, unfortunately. Hope you enjoy your gin & tonic a lot! and forget about the beating.

  3. […] excerpt from here […]

  4. “Chinese are scared of their own shadows, and terrified of the prospect of any rain cleaning the dirt from their filthy bodies.”. How is it that they frantically chase a lone fly or mosquito from their food yet deep throat chopsticks and then stuff them elbow deep into the communal heap of semi-dead animal before us all. Is it just me or does this seem illogical?

  5. […] The chinese communist party likes to control, so much so, that it can be creative with the news. The following is an excerpt from mylaowai.com who exposes the folly of the red mouthpiece. Read the entire post to get a feel for what it means to live in the land of the lost, a country who never stopped erecting walls or barriers, but what can you expect from people who spent over two millennia toiling over the last one. excerpt from here […]

  6. Hans Dampf said

    All i can take from this: You have an Aston? Pics! :D

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