Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

Bang Out Of Order

Posted by MyLaowai on Monday, February 27, 2012

News Headlines for China last week:

Following the recent riots in Guangdong, it’s important to remind ourselves that not all Chinese people are stereotypical thieves and arsonists. The vast majority are drug dealers and rapists.

Wang Xiansheng now has to travel 5 miles every day for fresh water, 7 miles every day for food and 10 miles every day for medicine for he and his family. This is because the daft bastard and all his mates torched the local convenience store, KFC and Medical Centre and now he has to walk to Dongguan for his breakfast.

Riots in Henan last month caused over £1 million worth of improvements.

The MyLaowai Foundation just fostered a Chinese kid.
All three cans hit him right on the back of the head.

They’ve had to change the script for the pantomime ‘Jack & the Beanstalk’ in Hefei, Bejing, Chengdu, Shanghai, Changsha, and Shenzhen. Apparently, the giant couldn’t smell any Englishmen, only Chinese peasants.

Finally, it has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters. They are putting some Persil in to stop the yellows running.

One Response to “Bang Out Of Order”

  1. Kenny said

    Ok, that is officially funny. Shooting yourself in the foot seems right at the time, but you have to live with the long term effects.

    But seriously. I do feel for the plight of the peasants (mostly farmers) in China. Their young people running off to the cities (factories for export goods) to make a living, while local corrupt bureaucrats line their own pockets with sweetheart land deals.

    Their backs have been bending under that load for a while. It is not surprising that a few snap once in a while.

    …but that snapping is getting more frequent.

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