My Wet Pussy Award – August ’08
Posted by MyLaowai on Sunday, August 31, 2008
Poor China. It seems that no matter what it does, it’s wrong in the eyes of the Evil West. Poor China has long been the victim of foreign aggression, foreign discrimination, foreign conspiracies, foreign trade restrictions, and foreign media reporting. Poor China, indeed.
But hang on a moment. Poor China? Hasn’t China in fact been a net beneficiary of bias in all of the above cases? Foreign aggression, for instance: Since the country was founded in 1949 following the Communist Terrorist victory over the legally elected Government, China has invaded or initiated wars with East Turkestan, Tibet, Korea (against the UN), India (twice), Vietnam, Taiwan (Yachen, Quemoy, and Matsu Islands), Burma, and Russia, in the process nearly doubling the size of the country. They have sponsored terror in places as far-flung as Cambodia (Khmer Rouge), Peru (the Shining Path), the Philippines (New People’s Army), and India (Maoist Communist Party), not to mention supporting materially and financially people such as Osama Bin Laden. As for trade issues, China has long been known for an apparent inability to abide by any international agreement or treaty (take for instance the Treaty of Shimonoseki, in which China ceded Taiwan in perpetuity, and which China unilaterally abrogated). Or the opium trade, in which the Chinese Government was the primary force behind the growing, production, refining, selling and exporting of the narcotic substance (but for which the British were blamed when they, too, sold a little in order to try to restore the trade imbalance caused as a result of the Chinese Government’s reneging on international trade agreements). As for discrimination, I feel quite comfortable in saying without any hesitation whatsoever, that there’s no one on earth quite like the Chinese when it comes to discrimination. Really, there isn’t. Hell, I had a three-year-old (!) toddle up to me a couple of days ago whilst I was minding my own business, say “Wai Guo [foreigner]” to me, and try to spit on my foot (in response I picked up the little bastard with my left hand, and with my right gave him a smack on the arse so hard his grandchildren will be bruised, thus confirming that we foreign devils are not to be trifled with). And as for media bias… well, more on that shortly.
What has all this to do with Wet Pussies? In case you were unaware of it, Communist China has just hosted the Summer Olympics. For anyone who missed it, they were given this great honour by those wettest of pussies, the International Olympic Committee. It seemed an opportunity too good to pass up on – we in the West give them this opportunity to prove themselves ready to join the community of nations, and they in return promise to start acting like adults and not kill quite so many of their own people. And that was the deal, make no mistake about it. We in the West kept our side of the bargain…
In a way, it was a marriage made in heaven: the IOC, long known for being one of the most corruptible organisations in the world on the one hand, and on the other, Red China, probably the most brutal dictatorship in human history. Each on their own was utterly beyond contempt, and yet together they seemed to give each other such credibility – no wonder that Jacques Rogges was always so keen to meet his commie buddies in the KTV at Zhong Nan Hai.
Ah, Jacques. What a bastard you are. A lying, crooked, corrupt appeaser and in general terms a complete twat of the first water. I’d dearly love to award you this Wet Pussy Award for services to the Chinese Communist Party.
But unfortunately, I can’t.
Because, you see, there’s an even more deserving recipient, and that would be the Western Media, those same people who are so regularly accused of showing unfair bias against Poor China.
Oh sure, there are a few journalists and reporters who do know their topic, and who are not afraid to write the truth. Sadly, though, they are few and far between. For those of you who might read this, please understand that I value you all the more for it.
Let’s just go back to my opening remarks, shall we? When, in all those events, did China ever get the caning it so richly deserved from our media? Somehow, they’ve always managed to squeak through smelling, if not of roses exactly, at least not like the dogshit that they are. For hundreds of years they’ve had the benefit of doubt, they’ve been the poor underdog who just needed to be given a chance and a little encouragement, the child who always got let off lightly when he didn’t play well with others. And then they got the Olympics, and the harsh glare of the international media spotlight was upon them. And we let them off the hook again!
“Greece won the gold medal in doping”, said Jacques Rogges, and his words were faithfully reported around the world. But, how many reporters mentioned that the Greek athletes in question had had their dietary supplements laced with steroids, quite deliberately, by the Chinese company that produced them?
“Keep politics out of sport”, cried the Chinese Propaganda Ministry, and the media picked up the tune. How many reporters mentioned, even in passing, that China had boycotted more Olympics than any other nation in history?
“Protest Zones have been established in Beijing”, announced the Chinese Security Services, and the media loved it. Very few made much of a deal about the fact that not a single protest was ever approved, and that many of the applicants were taken directly to a slave labour camp for re-education.
Rogges again: “For the first time, foreign media will be able to report freely and publish their work freely in China. There will be no censorship on the Internet.” And our media loved that one. Well then, why didn’t they use the opportunity to exercise their new-found freedom, and report on the plight of the millions of people who are currently in Laogai slave labour camps for Re-education Through Hard Labour, and who are quite outside any legal system. Or report on the vast number of people who were sent to live in the countryside, so as to hide Beijing’s true squalor from the gaze of any Olympic visitors? How many reports did you read quoting stories of horror from the lips of Tibetan victims of torture and oppression? How many Uyghur’s were interviewed for their views on the illegal Chinese occupation of their country? I didn’t read a single report highlighting the fact that the face on the money is that of Mao Zedong, the greatest murderer in all of human history, who was proudly responsible for the deaths of more people than Hitler and Stalin combined? Did you just happen to miss that one, did you, media hacks?
Western Media, you are the people we trust to give us the truth, and who are, by dint of the sacrifices made by our forefathers, in a unique position to be allowed to do so. You have let us down again. You have conspired to support China once more at the expense of the truth, and for this you deserve nothing less than this Wet Pussy Award.
Oh yeah, and in case anyone thought I’d forgotten it, here’s yer Pair of Tits for August, while I’m at it:
Wo Shi Laowai - Wo Pa Shui 
justrecently said
I think you are too China-focused in this case. I mean, do you really trust any media to give you the truth in every case? Most of the coverage of the Seoul 1988 was mealy-mouthed, and so was coverage of the 1978 soccer championship in Argentina (while the military junta was still running the country). Besides, I’ve seen Western media reporting a lot of bullshit before – not because they were slanted or government-controlled like in China (which is worse), but because they were sluggish (which is no good either). Whenever a paper or station just cuts and pastes “press releases” from corporations, we should be on our guard.
Greetings from Europe (where Berlusconi is currently creating his own concept of press freedom).
MyLaowai said
I agree that the Free Press are not only lazy and inept when it comes to China. I totally agree.
But I’m living in China, so that’s my focus right now, and besides, the Wet Pussy Award is not awarded for services to Berlusconi, but for services to the CCP.
Graham said
Can’t disagree with your general outrage at the crimes committed by the CCP and the problems China has faced and still does face but should the Olympic games really be about giving the international media the chance to sink the boot in? You can certainly argue for more in depth coverage of China in the Western media but I would disagree that the Olympic Games is the time to do it. There are various evils in the world and various regimes of questionable nature that should be investigated and exposed, but can’t we just take two weeks every four years to focus on the things we agree about and appreciate? Seems to me like it’s a rare opportunity to celebrate the beauty of a culture and a message of unity as opposed to ostracising and insulting it.
MyLaowai said
Thanks for the input, Graham. I appreciate you taking the time to let your feelings be known. I probably needn’t point out that people in China get re-educated for that.
You raise some questions. Here are my replies:
Yes, Wrong, No, and The Olympics Weren’t Held In Japan, They Were Held In China.
So, let’s agree to disagree on this. But thanks for making your point, even so.
Have a wonderful day.
Graham said
I see, so let’s all use the opportunity to create further rifts between China’s people and the west to score a few political points.
You clearly have some problems with the CCP (and understandably so), you also clearly have some issues with Chinese culture in general (or it’s apparent lack thereof in your own words). If you were truly concerned about bettering China’s situation then how does discouraging exposure to the international community serve that aim?
China is changing, albeit slowly. That’s largely due to its people’s gradual exposure to foreign ideas and culture. The Olympics is a good chance to help facilitate that.
But of course everyone here is a brain washed barbarian in a country with no redeemable qualities whatsoever. I get it.
justrecently said
No offense meant, Graham, but your view of China (that’s largely due to its people’s gradual exposure to foreign ideas and culture) looks somewhat condescending to me. If there are Chinese people who have a problem with a blog like this one, the problem really lies on their side of the fence. Don’t be overprotective.
China and all other countries are exposed to each other – that’s no one-way street.
MyLaowai said
I’m sure, Graham, that you are a decent, well-meaning chap. I suspect you also don’t really understand China all that well. There’s no shame in that – most of the people we elect to deal with the Chinese Communist Party on our behalf also don’t understand China all that well.
However, I am a believer in the ability of most people to learn, and it is my hope that you will take advantage of this opportunity to do so.
To set the record straight, I am not in any way concerned with bettering China’s situation – to the contrary, I consider China to be the single largest threat in existence to world peace and the continued evolution of civilisation. If they had their way, we would all be Tibetans.
China’s problem, and our problem too, is that China isn’t in fact changing in any meaningful way – they may have been shown how to build nice shiny skyscrapers, and their emperors now wear suits instead of dresses, but socially there hasn’t been any substantial progress since Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di set the standard for how a brutal dictatorship ought to be run back in 221 BC, when China was founded. The current Dynasty has only succeeded in being more efficient and ruthless.
Thanks again for your input, please feel free to reply in whatever vein you wish.
Regards and best wishes,
Professor MyLaowai.
justrecently said
Graham: be assured that I view China much more positively than Professor MyLaowai. However, I wouldn’t take anything concerning “change” for granted. Many people view China’s political system as autocratic rather than totalitarian now – but what I see is a dictatorship that tries to adept to changing times to avoid a loss of its political monopoly. And the way many Chinese patriotic students have reacted to criticism that doesn’t endanger their country’s security at all should be food for thought abroad.
Professor Dr Dr h.c. Justrecently
Graham said
In response to the good Dr your main issue seems to be with a lack of change at the Government level and I couldn’t agree with you more. Don’t mistake my defence of China as a defence of the CCP. They are scum and I don’t see THAT changing any time soon.
The change I am talking about is exactly the type of change that is needed if the country will get rid of these arseholes. It’s a change within the people. From my experience talking with many of them a great deal are beginning to realise the problems their society faces precisely because they have had exposure to other ways of life. That’s not supposed to sound condascending, but one of the best ways of keeping a society in the dark is by keeping a society in the dark. Dictatorships tend to maintain power this way.
MyLaowai summed up his defeatist attitude rather succinctly when he said he is in no way concerned with bettering China’s situation. Fortunately for the Chinese it’s not him who has to be concerned, just them.
MyLaowai said
Unfortunately for them, actually. Because no way would they be capable of improving their lot on their own, and I for one have no interest in helping them to improve their lot to the point where it isn’t just the peoples of Tibet, East Turkestan, Mongolia, India, Korea, Japan, Taiwan and Vietnam who need be frightened.
Defeatist? Not at all. I’ll fight to the very end to stop that happening.
Scum the CCP are, you hit the proverbial nail square on the head with that, but you could slaughter the entire Party membership today and replace them all with a random sampling of ordinary citizens tomorrow morning, and by tea time you’d be hard pressed to spot the difference. The Chinese themselves know that this is the way things have always been here, and practically every serious intellectual in the country’s history has made that point (and not seen much of a problem with it, in most cases). The Communists are bad, very bad, but all they did was take something that already existed, and refine it to the point of near-perfection (when seen through the eyes of a genocidal, xenophobic madman, anyway).
I’d love to be wrong about all this, I’d truly love to see an actual, positive change for the first time since the Legalists decided to start the worlds most extensive and longest lasting human culling program (anyone with a brain or a backbone – chop! chop!). And if that day comes while I still have breath in my body, I swear by the Lords of Kobol that I’ll eat my own hair.
Fingers crossed, chaps.
Neddy said
That’s better, Graham!
Except maybe you read into MyLaowai’s words what you THINK he says, not what he actually does say. Practise the art of comprehension, please, not only of the post, but also of (say) comment #7. Defeatism? Hardly, unless you yourself confuse 1.3bn people with the CCP. What I read in MyLaowai’s post is the anger with that part of ‘free’ media blinkered with their infatuation with the ‘China miracle’, to the point of forgetting to call a spade a spade! THEY are undermining everyone’s effort to improve anything in China. Not me, not MyLaowai.
Yes,I have heard of virtues of ‘engagement’. But how does ‘appeasement’ or ‘sucking up to’ sound to you? And where is the dividing line? Keep in mind, not many common Chinese read this blog; we are exchanging our thoughts here, and are very unlikely to hurt their feelings, whatever that means.
Mind you, I do not speak for MyLaowai, I speak for myself. Arguably, I am the resident redneck of this blog, and I HATE China because I LOVE some people who have no choice but to live there – my family, their friends. I try to be optimistic for their sake, but I am not blind to the fallacy of ‘changing China’… there are some very serious flaws in that society, that make the CCP’s dominance possible. Yes, the change must come from within, but the way ahead is much longer and complicated than you may think.
Anyway, welcome to the club of the disoriented in the Orient.
P.S. MyLaowai – You beat me to it; yes, I know I am a slacker! But no matter; I still need to speak for myself…
MyLaowai said
One of my best mates anywhere is a Chinese guy from a poor province. He’s smart, hard working, honest, and exceptionally well educated (and self educated, obviously). Which is why he thinks I’m a bit soft on China. He thinks that Bush should have invaded this place instead of Iraq (oddly, I heard the same thing from a taxi driver a while ago – how weird is that?).
Mrs MyLaowai tends to agree with what I say, too, although she puts it in less confrontational terms – and she’s born and raised here.
Sadly, neither of them will ever be able to achieve their full potential in this society, because it’s the society itself that is the problem – not merely a handful of butchers in Beijing.
Graham said
Thanks Neddy I’ll work on my comprehension.
Perhaps you’ll join me by noting that my original reply agreed that the case can easily be made for stronger exposure of the CCP’s activities in the Western media. Certainly not arguing against that, simply that the engagement you spoke of must be a part of the process if the necessary change is to come from within.
Seems we all agree that it would be desirable. What we seem to disagree on is whether it’s possible. I not only think it’s possibe, but inevitable, however long and complicated the road may be.
Neddy said
Graham,
My quip about comprehension was not made in a derogatory way. I meant it literally, and in a straight way. The thing you need to comprehend here, is that no matter which way we may speak, all of us here have actually contributed to this ‘engagement’ on a personal level, face-to-face, day-to-day basis. That is all we can do. We cannot engage with the ‘Chinese people’ as a collective entity. And our leaders (and our media) cannot do it, either, the things being what they are. They are only ‘engaging’ the ’emperors’. Sure, a degree of engagement is alright there, too; better then outright belligerence. But the only way it can work is to ‘speak softly, and carry a big stick’. Anything else is bullshit, and will help no-one, least of all the Chinese.
Keep in mind that no-one wants an all out conflict, but if the world needs China, China needs the world even more. Alone and isolated, they are nothing. And if we do not want that to happen, we better draw a line between engagement, and toadying.
As for the issue of CCP culpability versus the very fabric of Chinese society at large (never mind the CCP’s role in destruction of the same), that’s a topic worthy of a Phd thesis. But it is a reality, whether or not you are willing to see it. As MyLaowai put it (#10):
“…you could slaughter the entire Party membership today and replace them all with a random sampling of ordinary citizens tomorrow morning, and by tea time you’d be hard pressed to spot the difference…”
The problem is not insurmountable, but it is much deeper that you think. Do me a favour: Learn.
Graham said
haha thanks Neddy, I’m all for doing favour’s for strangers so just for you I’ll endeavour to learn. You could help of course, by actually telling me something new.
“The problem is not insurmountable, but it is much deeper that you think. Do me a favour: Learn.”
This, of course, assumes you know how deep I think the problem is. I don’t think I’ve given any indication of this in my posts, so unless you know me personally I’m curious as to how you have such an intimate knowledge of my thoughts. The alternative is that you’re simply posturing in a bid to make your own opinions sound more credible.
Look I agree with you on pretty much everything. The problem is extremely complicated and extremely deeply rooted in the culture. In my opinion the growth of the middle class in China coupled with greater exposure to the international community will inevitably change that culture. You can disagree with me, but don’t accuse me of being ignorant just because you do so. At the end of the day you have about as much knowledge of what will happen as I do. It’s difficult for anyone to predict.
However, in my rather humble opinion, a new generation of Chinese students are being educated abroad and are obtaining first hand exposure to liberal democratic societies. Sure, not all of them will be sympathetic, but a great deal will return to China with a broader experience which will be passed down to their children and so on. Coupled with rising wealth and in turn an expanding middle class eventually the challenge to the CCPs tyranny will be made. Like I agreed, the problem is deep and it is complicated, but while the change may come slowly it will come.
It’s no coincidence that 19 of the 20 richest nations (by GDP) all maintain some form of democracy. The exception is China.
What we do not want to do is play into the CCPs hands by discouraging the common people from viewing the international community with an open mind. The Chinese are a proud people with a beautiful culture. Learning about it, understanding it and engaging with it (as opposed to engaging with the CCP) will further strengthen trust in the people and a willingness to reciprocate that engagement. I think the Olympics was a good opportunity for that.
justrecently said
I think you have a point – OK, half a point – about China and the international community, Graham. Only half a point, because involvement or exposure can lead to a diversity of good or bad results. You say this yourself; but I think if Chinese people studying or living in places like mine have no good reason to tell us what to do.
Example: on this city’s main railway station there is an innocent small shop which featured a poster of some Tibetan monks on a rollercoaster until this year (an outdated Coca-Cola commercial, and it was a nice picture). Some Chinese students found reason to take offense from it – the rest of the story is here – see links inside the post. The whole protest thing was probably quite a nuisance for the staff of the shop, and it wasn’t worth the fuss. The poster had been there for two or three years, and all of a sudden, some people took issue. Personally, I think that’s not smart. I’d have left the shop and its staff alone with my complaints.
People who are unable to take that easy will definitely also take issue with outspoken blogs, but let’s not confuse what should be our problem and what should be merely the problem of some easily offended people.
I’m moderately optimistic about how things will develop between China and the West, or China and the world, but I’m taking nothing for granted. I think that the European upper classes knew each other pretty well across all borders before ww1 and ww2 – but we still had the wars.
If I’m supposed to be as considerate about “national feelings” as some patriotic students seem to expect, I suggest that they go and climb a tree. I’ll observe the standards I accept for myself. If these happen to be their standards, too, so much the better. If not, criticism is welcome. But I’ll never bully people who haven’t even made a statement themselves.
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