Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

The List – Official!

Posted by MyLaowai on Friday, April 1, 2011

41 Responses to “The List – Official!”

  1. Nips Are Great said

    Peasants in the way of development.

    Oh right.

    That would be on the Easy People To Run Over With Heavy Equipment list.

  2. Chinese Netizen said

    Nosy Caucasian reporters. Okay….all reporters!!

  3. Nips Are Great said

    Well I’m writing as I’m bored as hell in chinkyland.

    This afternoon I was thinking about a local. She made funny noises whenever I put it into her. Not quite grunts but not quite squeals either. More like a dry cloth buffing a floor. She was from Peking. I write ‘Peking’ just to piss off anybody who loves pinyin shit.

    She liked ‘Man pushing wheel barrow.’ I did too. I didn’t catch any V.D. – lucky.

    I should be working but that would mean that I do everything in the office.

    There’s a dozen yellow runts here that do less than half of what I do.

    Even the boss (probably a fucking commie) is a champion nose picker.

    The locals do like to dig dig dig eh?

    And then there’s the farmer blow. There’s a guy here that can shoot his snot right into the trash can from just about five feet away. Everybody’s impressed as hell. I’d pull him up on it but he never fucking misses.

    Anything interesting Mr. Laowai?

    • MyLaowai said

      Your day has been so much more exciting than mine. All I did was fire a local for daring to touch the Aston. But to be fair, I didn’t fire his father, who also works in my sweatshop.

      I shall save firing him until tomorrow.

  4. Lily Wang said

    Ridiculous laowai. You continue to talk the shit to China.You really think you know it all…

    “Respect is earned, not given”. China earn respect in the world (olympic games!!! Expo! and also more countries do what China say!!!) for unique harmony in this world, highest decent manners and culture,and the bigger country and people, and strong state who will buy you off. You have no respect because what did you give to the world? You invent nothing and you are stupid. So you talk shit of China because you envy Chinese people of their old and rich culture in the world and very high achievements and leadership as superpower and contributour to all things in the world. You always complaining.

    You are not earning any respect for yourself, Mr.

    • MyLaowai said

      That’s a nice name, Lily. Ni Hao.

    • Nips Are Great said

      I’ve no doubt whatsoever that Lily Wang would bend over backwards and for laowai stick if there was a half decent chance of getting her lazy yellow ass out of chinky land.

      Well, even if there wasn’t a visa out of chinky land she’d still hoover foreign stick like it was a -you tiao- and ask you how you like it.

      ‘You likee me on back? Bend doggy doggy? That’s wrong hole. Oh! Ok. I likee likee.’

    • Slap2tickle said

      I’m sorry Lily, and I hope mylaowai doesn’t mind me posting this link just to emphasize why laowai don’t respect China, or Chinese men in general, or maybe the woman need this kinda treatment, I don’t know. It’s pretty sickening anyway:

      You want respect from the world, this is just one SMALL reason why you and the thugs in power don’t get it.

      • MyLaowai said

        Holy crap, Chinese society is sick beyond belief. But that said, I am so not surprised by that video in any way at all.

        After all, cowards make the worst bullies.

      • 0112337 said


        Now, as you well know, I have a reputation here, and you also know very well why I am here. I could have said what you posted occurs in all developing countries, that it is a part of society’s natural evolution. But I am not going to say that, because that doesn’t SOLVE your fundamental problem.

        The objective of my writing here is for you to UNDERSTAND, so work with me. You see, you are one of those Laowais that probably stayed in China for sometime, knows something about the Chinese people, and has, like this Mylaowai become so disillusioned with what you see that you now choose to dislocate yourself from reality and force alienation upon yourself. You choose to believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with the CHINESE PEOPLE and Chinese culture rather than perceive it as a social problem due to failures in public policy and education, AND that YOU are somehow morally, psychologically, and mentally BETTER, that you are ABOVE these people.

        THIS, laowai, is the onset of denial, a serious psychological problem. You should be careful, because it will be all downhill from here.

        TRUST ME.

    • 0112337 said

      Mylaowai, I also go by the name “Peter” in real life, which is not my “real” name of course, and here’s why I adopted an English name.

      1. The majority of westerners (yes, Europeans included) are incapable of pronouncing pinyin correctly. Try “Xu”, or “Si”, and most of you fail miserably. I do not appreciate having my name butchered by foreign tongues, it is a personal preference. I think you would too if you have to explain to every village peasant that makes an attempt at your name.

      2. The culture is too different. Chinese people and laowais live in different realms of perception. If we used our Chinese names, we assume you are on the same page as us, but…ARE YOU? I think not, therefore we do the civilized thing of respecting and adopting the host culture while abroad. Consider that.

      • Nips Are Great said

        The majority of chinks (yes, all the little yellow runts that are investment bankers deep down inside and run a world wide conglomerations) are incapable of pronouncing chinky-chink correctly.

        Peter: The name means ‘rock’ or ‘stone’. Obviously 0112337’s head is full of them.

      • 0112337 said

        Nippity Nip,

        You are a real bully aren’t ya? What’s the problem? Are you poor? Unemployed? Stuck? Here,

        Hope you feel better!!

        -The Rock

      • Slap said

        Dear Prat, there are many stages to living in China and yes one of them is denial, but I’m afraid I’ve been here too long for that, I’m probably past that stage now, and yes I have a Chinese name too. As for beating women… yes I’m also sure it happens in most countries around the world but if you want to blame it on social evolution than you’re more than welcome to, it’s a normal part of Chinese culture to pass the blame onto something else and not accept it directly as your own problem or issue. Mr Prat, it’s not about seeing “a video on Chinese social networking websites” it’s about seeing it first hand in the streets of the cities too, why would the guys get angry and beat their wives or gf’s like that, well, maybe they had an affair, that’s a terrible thing for a woman to do, but let me ask you, do the women beat the men for having multiple mistresses or affairs? The answer is a resounding NO, this is being hypocritical, do you know that word, maybe it doesn’t exist in the Chinese language, or maybe it’s in the Chinese dictionary between mistress and affair. As for the rest of your little essay, disillusioned… no, I just see the reality, something fundamentally wrong with the Chinese people, no, on this point I agree with your assessment about it being a social problem, am I here to correct this problem, again the answer is no, that’s the policy of your one party that has obtained perfect social harmony, am I better than other people that I work with or see in the street, not at all, but I do think I behave and present myself in a better way and if Chinese people respect that and maybe even one or two want to follow in my footsteps than that’s great, but I’m not forcing it on others. Everyday I get Chinese people looking down on me, that’s the industry I work in, I work with lots of rich Chinese people that are happy to look down on me while happily flouting the law because they think it doesn’t apply to them.

      • Nips Are Great said

        Nippity Nip? Is that it? I’m an unemployed bully too. How about that. I’m so hurt. I think I’m going to cry.

        I’m surprised an investment banker running an empire like yourself would have time to spend with us here in mylaowai land. But who knows? Who knows… Well in fact there’s one thing most laowais know about yellow runts, they are liars.

        Ok… Well I’m off to book several hours in front of the T.V. ’cause I’m unemployed and I’ll break that time up playing the Farm Game on the internet where you can steal from others (perfect reflection of chinks) and then I’ll go shopping and spit along the aisles before I start a fight in line. And on my way home I’ll jay walk and get into a minor accident and blame it on somebody else. And when I go through my gate I’ll be sure to gossip about the couple who had an argument last night that the whole compound could hear. Their marriage is on the rocks ’cause they’re both fucking others which is unfortunate for their nine year old girl. And when I go upstairs I’ll be sure to check the wires I’ve set up to steal electricity from my neighbour below are still good.

        After dinner I’ll go out and whore around.

        Maybe we’ll bump into each and become friends.

      • 0112337 said

        Slappity Slap,

        “…to look down on me while happily flouting the law because they think it doesn’t apply to them.”

        Isn’t that why you are in China? If the legal system was adequate and the market was mature, would there be opportunites for you? There are billions of Chinese people, don’t you think out of those billion there will be ones who are smarter and more qualified than you? Wouldn’t they take YOUR JOB?

        You can’t complain AND take advantage of the system at the same time, it doesn’t work both ways you know. Don’t you see how ridiculous you sound? That’s my definition of hypocrisy.

        I appreciate the honesty though, and welcome to China, now you are at least so much closer to understanding the locals. They hate each other too, that’s because they are largely ignorant, uneducated, and thus, unfortunately, judgmental. Welcome to the club!

        Dear Nippity Nip,

        I am a poor schmuck, so don’t you compare yourself with me. However, I was just thinking, IF you are rich, and employed, and/or mobile, it is against common sense for you to be so angry. So then, I conclude, one of those variables must be off for you, therefore, naturally, the sensible, humane thing to do would be to comfort you.

        Why do you have to be such a bully and asshole?

        Smile! Jesus loves you. :)

        I am VERY IMPRESSED you know about Farm Game.

        Keep up the good work!!

      • Nips Are Great said

        Going for the last word?

        Typical chink.

      • Slap2tickle said

        I’m sorry Peter Prat, are you trying to dazzle me with your superior intellect? It’s not working, I’m bored already.

        “You can’t complain AND take advantage of the system at the same time, it doesn’t work both ways you know. Don’t you see how ridiculous you sound? That’s my definition of hypocrisy”

        I’m sorry, I think you’re confusing me with a Chinese person.

        “They hate each other too, that’s because they are largely ignorant, uneducated, and thus, unfortunately, judgmental.”

        Looking down on people again are we? This doesn’t surprise me either.

      • 0112337 said

        Dear Slappity Slap-slap,

        No, no, no, I am not here to dazzle you. I am here to be amused THROUGH you. That’s why I am here, I mean can’t you tell, you thick block of wood? I am cynical and judgmental against everyone, white, black, yellow, red, or blue and myself sometimes as well. It’s transformative, fun, AND it confuses people. You should try it too.

        “I’m sorry, I think you’re confusing me with a Chinese person.”

        This is the EXACT attitude that makes you look ridiculous and hypocritical. Don’t you see what I mean?

        Dear Nippity-Nip Nip,

        Like I have always emphasized, I am BLACK. That’s right, a BLACK AFRICAN from the heartland. My name is Peter Kimbu Odonye the MAGNIFICENT.

        Wat iz diz CHINK bizness you fooling about? Fool?

      • Nips Are Great said

        So you’re a jungle-bunny.

        Your new name is Toby.

        Don’t doubt that local runts consider you to be no more than a talking monkey.

      • 0112337 said

        how many of you here are British or Australian? Some of these terms I have never even heard before in America. Twat? runt? Prat?

      • Slap2tickle said

        Oh, and I thought you were an intelligent and cultured know it all for a moment there.

      • MyLaowai said

        0112337 said:
        “how many of you here are British or Australian? Some of these terms I have never even heard before in America. Twat? runt? Prat?”

        They all mean ‘Chinese’.

  5. Nips Are Great said

    Isn’t this like the third or fourth tainted milk scandal since 2008.


    Where’s Juicy Lucy Wang?

  6. Nips Are Great said

    Sorry. She’s not ‘Juicy Lucy’.

    Lily…. What’s a good salacious word that rhymes with Lily?

    Does it matter anyways?

    Lily Lucy Rosie May Candy….

  7. Lily Wang said

    see how low and dirty and small you are foreigners. perfect proving for your inmorale and dirty and low culture. you insult me now because I am chinese and chinese woman. now i know more why China is the highest culture in world and why you go down. fuck you all dirty laowai and stop hurt feelings of chinese people.

    You show video of beating here, shame on you. Is not true i sure about this. Also in your country you also do same! you also do hit woman, right??? In every country this happen!!! You also do!

    • Nips Are Great said

      I put it into a local woman just yesterday.

      My tool still smells.

      Sounds like you need some salt Lily. Wash it down with your local milk.

      • Lily Wang said

        fuck you foreigners.time will come you will be servants to us, i will enjoy to kick inferior white laowai man on street and you be slave to our superior chinese people and culture,China and chinese woman.

      • Chinese Netizen said

        ahahahahahaha!!! Way to GO “Lily”!!!!

        The ultimate retort when backed into a corner and out of your league!!!

      • 0112337 said

        Foreign Netizen,

        I envision you as that cowardly bully with ugly freckles in third grade that beat up little girls and steal their candy. Is that you? Don’t you think you should change now that you have grown up?

    • Slap2tickle said

      Of course Lily lolly pop, it came from the Chinese blogs and recorded on Chinese security cameras in a China somewhere or other with Chinese men beating what appears to be Chinese women, it’s as fake as the melamine in the milk you drink (or is it eat) and the MSG you eat. Just a curious question, how do you clean your buck teeth at night, you must need a 75 joint tooth brush to get around all them nooks and crannies.

      • 0112337 said

        oh slappity slap slap, I thought your point for posting the video was that foreign men treat women DIFFERENTLY?

        Or are you suggesting that people from your part of the world is feeling a little “rough around the edges” after the economic downturn?

        Make no mistake, ah feel yu brotha. It ain’t easy being real. Sometimes yu just gotta be a bit h’pocritical. Yu know what I am saying? You just gotta make fun of some helpless little girl once in a while to make yourself feel better and superior. ah feel yu.

        Hope yu feel betta dough. Ewe Mola tuepushe na mahasidi.

      • Nips Are Great said

        Toby needs a good whipping.

      • Slap2tickle said

        Haha far from it Peter Prat. My suggestion to you though Peter Prat is not to think too much, it’s bad for your health, there was no point, not at least what you were thinking. Just one question, are you getting enough of it these days, know what I mean? Maybe you should come back to China and take advantage of the easy girls, or maybe the inadequate legal system or the lack of mature market, then maybe you could feel superior or at least adequate.

    • Rappy Pun Zelly said

      In that case, here’s a piece of news you’ll hear nowhere else except from the Mediocre Kingdom: A peasant woman nicks a shopping bag full of egret chicks from the local bird reservation to feed her pigs.


  8. Lily Wang said

    stupid ugly foreigners. soon you country an all world belong to China, then you will know real culture.

    • Chinese Netizen said

      Lily darling, you really need a good stuffing by a large Negro man who has clipped fingernails and a decent cologne, who’ll pound your head so hard against the headboard that the stars you’ll see won’t necessarily be from that orgasm that has eluded you for so long until then.

      Then you’ll know real culture.

    • 0112337 said

      Some people never grow up…

      • Chinese Netizen said

        you have problems with stealing candy from little girls and bullying, oh golden knight?

        I learned all that going to No.1 Middle School Of Beijing For Elite Cadre & Princeling Kids where I majored in backdoor business dealings, avoiding responsibility, copying for credit, advanced bullying of the weak and making people that don’t like me disappear.

      • 0112337 said

        and only Chinese people lie and blame their inherent flaws on others eh? Foreign Netizen?

        The Beijing middle schools for elite cadre & princeling kids are No.4 and No. 101 Middle Schools. Don’t send your hybrid kid to the wrong one.

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