Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

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‘Bullet’ Train Derails. Surprised?

Posted by MyLaowai on Saturday, July 23, 2011

Breaking News: One of China’s much-loved and very development high-speed ‘Harmonious‘ trains has just de-railed, whilst on a bridge. Either the train was copied badly (likely), or the rails were laid badly (probable), or the bridge was built badly (guaranteed). I am a bit worried about this event for two reasons:

1. There might be foreigners on board. That would be Bad.

2. I’ve been asked to do a regular piece for a well-known publication. I was going to call it “When Escalators Attack“, but now I may have to change the name to “When Trains Attack“, which is more topical, if not quite as snappy. I guess I could always call it “Taiwan is still safe“.

I guess someone was telling a porky when he said that Chinese trains are better than Japanese, French or German trains.

Update: Not only was the whole debacle typical of the way things are built here, it now appears that the train was rear-ended by another bullet train as well. So obviously the following driver was as good as any other driver in this poxy Land. Chinese trains: an ignominious failure, and a complete and utter fiasco from start to finish. Serves you right, Chinese people, for stealing technology you aren’t capable of comprehending.



35 Responses to “‘Bullet’ Train Derails. Surprised?”

  1. Nips Are Great said

    ” Serves you right, Chinese people, for stealing technology you aren’t capable of comprehending.”


    The word ‘chinese’ should be synonymous for thievery.

  2. Long Long Time Been Here said

    They didn’t thieve anything, they borrowed it under the GNUwetakewhatwewant license.

  3. wtdevflnt said

    Do Chinese high speed rails tailgate? Hows does one train ‘stall’ and then the other smashed into it (per official sources)? I’ve never driven a car, but driven other things and when I see an accident, my first response is to brake. of course I only drive at 100mph, but still, you’ve gotta wonder….ps. will link to your blog with its usual homespun wit…

  4. […] it. I would think that they would not allow tail gating for such massive hunks of steel. One report here (mylaowai.com), and the chinese source and the […]

  5. […] it. I would think that they would not allow tail gating for such massive hunks of steel. One report here (mylaowai.com), and the chinese source and the […]

  6. Chinese Netizen said

    Driver of the tailgaiting train was text messaging nude photos of Japanese porn stars to his buddies in other trains…

  7. Epitope said

    “Serves you right, Chinese people, for stealing technology you aren’t capable of comprehending.”


    And now the Chinese government doesn’t want “their” technology to be stolen and they are using this excuse for burying the trains as fast as possible, before one can find out the real cause for the crash ( http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/25/world/asia/25train.html?ref=world )

    “The Railway Ministry said the trains contained valuable “national level” technology that could be stolen and thus must be buried — even though foreign companies have long complained that the technology was actually stolen from their trains. ”

    Isn’t that dishonest?

  8. Long Long Time Been Here said

    Now there are unconfirmed reports that more than 40 died, of course all these reports quickly evaporate into thin air like the dead bodies or are buried deep underground like the carriages. Sad really isn’t it, there are also unconfirmed reports that the first train wasn’t stationary and might have been getting underway when it was “rear ended” by the driver behind, probably wearing 1000 degree milk bottle bottom glasses.

    • MyLaowai said

      The great irony is that folks in civilised nations look at this this and think of it as an isolated incident, without comprehending the fact that this is indicative of China at large:

      “Oh yes, how terrible, now let us move on to the next story”.

      I am truly, honestly sorry that [at least] two humans died in this. But I’ll be damned if I pretend to shed a tear because the Chinese Communist Party lost a few along the wayside in their quest for global domination.

      Fuck you, and fuck you in the wrong hole, CCP. Trains and amphibious ships included.

  9. 0112337 said

    Forget about the train. If the debt ceiling is not raised, it’s game over for the West. That’s the pressing issue. I hope Chinese investors cashed out of their U.S. investments…

    • MyLaowai said

      Congratulations! You win five mao for your attempt to try to change the topic.

      • 0112337 said

        The fact that you, as well as the rest of the Western investors are NOT responding to the issue speaks volumes to the “mob’s” stupidity. Are you still living in the early 1900s? Your, “the West”, is in grave danger of some serious economic hardship.

        Do you really think the U.S. CAN NOT default? We have only four business days left before the deadline and the U.S. congress is nowhere near reaching a consensus.

        Are you unaware of what might happen after or are you in denial?

      • MyLaowai said

        Stay on topic, or stay off the board.

      • Long Long Time Been Here said

        or is it stay on the tracks or fall off the bridge?

      • 0112337 said

        Why don’t you stay real laowai.

        Four days left, it is actually looking more and more like we are all going to get fucked.

  10. Nips Are Great said

    The reason why the Rich Investment Banker or Toby or whatever he is today can’t manage to deal with the whole Speed Train fiasco is because his commie chink masters have yet to decide on a story.

    1. Lightening – no that’s not working.

    2. Human error – no they wouldn’t want to divulge that their operators are rubbing their weeney ones while driving.

    3. Secret Japanese attack – no, that wouldn’t look good either, they beat the shit out of the chinks before.

    4. Secret American attack – no, that won’t do because then they’d have to explain how that happened.

    5. Problem with signals – go with that for a while, see how it floats.

    If it doesn’t blame it on…

    6. A goddamned loose pig got onto the tracks and the driver lost his head. “The driver tried to swerve but the rails wouldn’t budge!”

    Yesterday I got a link to the Secret Nip Attack on the train and I’d give it to you but I can’t log into my e-mail account because here in the land of the harmonica tooting monkeys e-mail is often blocked.

  11. The tone here is far too flippant for the death toll and general horror the Chinese have to put up with from the CCP. It’s all quite sad and serious, really.

    • MyLaowai said

      True, except that the ‘people’ here leap to the defence of their beloved Party at the first hint of foreign criticism. Their own blinkered xenophobia will always take first place. Any other tragedy plays second fiddle.

      I for one am no hypocrite, and I haven’t shed a single crocodile tear.

      • Hmm, though not all of them. Let me ask: do you not have sympathy on the poor fools that have been sucked in? The Party is running the biggest Great Lie in human history, and these people have grown up in it. It must be hard to keep one’s integrity (spiritual, intellectual, you name it) in tact in that kind of environment, saturated with lies. And actually if you look at the reaction now you’re seeing a vast outpouring of disgust at the CCP. That is something to encourage, because it is part of the process of the Chinese people coming to terms with what is wrong with ‘their beloved Party.’ They have to cast it off one day. Rather than reject the whole thing, I think it is better to help the Chinese people understand that the Party is not their friend and they need to get rid of it. No?

      • Bill said

        China’s history and the past 100 years show just how brutal these people can be and if they care little for their fellow Chinese, then isn’t it hard for me to do likewise?
        In addition it’s hard to have sympathy for a people who although many of them had family members slaughtered or died at the hands of party members and decisions, still worship the helmsman and the system.
        If the world continues to mollycoddle China, then they’ll never change. If more people told the unadulterated truth about this place rather than rationalizing away China’s misdeeds then China would be better off. .

      • Nips Are Great said


        Hey Matthew,

        I’ll give you a leg up.

        The Chinks don’t have any integrity.

    • Nips Are Great said

      “The tone here is far too flippant….” – sounds like a jr. high school teacher who spends time whacking off ’cause his wife doesn’t put out.

      “general horror the Chinese have to put up with from the CCP…” – tell us about the general horror Matthew.

      .”It’s all quite sad and serious, really.” – Really? You’re not convincing.

  12. Hans Dampf said

    Off Topic, but then again, i love coming here and just ranting off….

    My new challenge which I have found: Serving international clients (who expect quality) with local idiots.
    Local-> local no problem, high expectations, but lack of ability to actual tell good from bad.
    Int -> int – obviously no problem
    local -> int…. omg

    I have been in pain, i wanna fire all my staff (murder would be more satisfying by way too much trouble )

    *crying today….*

    • Long Long Time Been Here said

      Not worth wasting bullets, or the chance of cutting yourself on the knife. Though I’m sorry to break the news, you’re in the wrong place for quality unless it’s lies and cheating you’re after…. on a lighter note, there is plenty of cheap fake alcohol if you want to drown your sorrows and have liver problems the next morning….

  13. dabizarre said

    The hole thing stinks worse than my last Chinese girlfriend after a rare full weekend off to be allowed to fully sample to the full range of my…

    If lightning wiped out train one, well… train 2 is on the same power grid…

    Bury the train because of sensitive technology? Shit nigger, carry it off for recycling…

    Two dead Americans. Co-incidence? Jack F. Bi and Jon C. Ia?

    Time frame between stall and crash – but driver, station masters etc don’t have cell phones?

    The stall was SO conveniently on the 0.00003% of track that had a decent height bridge? I know this train line well, its pretty well ground level the whole way…

    The whole thing is just wrong. In a cunt-tree of wrongs, even this one stinks worse than an 18yr old KTV girl on her 3rd straight year of work-without-break.

  14. jonjonzz said

    Why do these stories very rarely get reported in the west?, also just wanted to say iv had a good chuckle at your slant on the Chinese very good I also am very curious to know what you do for a living in china

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