Wo Shi Laowai – Wo Pa Shui

This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

The Olympic (Pre-) Opening Ceremony

Posted by laolaolaowai on Tuesday, August 5, 2008

You see, at the end of the day, the French are as bad as the Chinese.

All of the Chinese people will be taking great glory that the Olympic Games have returned to the motherland where they originated, and the opening of the game will be on 08/08/08 at 08:08:08 .

Or not.

That’s right. The Olympic Games will officially begin on 08/06/2008. Period.

If you’re a Chinese citizen and you’re reading this, put down your jiaozi and call your Congressman.

That’s right. The Chinese Government lied to you. You, the renmin. You see, those sneaky Laowai have intentionally sabotaged China’s ______ up party by scheduling events early.

I know, I know, this is quite a surprise huh? Can you believe it? The government of China bowed their head and gave in to the Laowai. The CCP capitulated and allowed the IOC to start the Olympics early. It was perhaps, punishment, for blocking the Laowai Media (LMing’s) access to the internet. Or it could simply be an oversight on behalf of the Beijing Olympic committee. Or maybe, just maybe it was Al-Qaeda…

In either event, I am quite happy that at least 99.9% of the sickeningly smug look of satisfaction on the face of the CCP will shine through the egg on their face in Technicolor when they have to admit to the Chinese people that the Olympics begin with a football match (invented in China), unheralded, on 08/06/08 in a shitty little countryside village.

Reference: http://en.beijing2008.cn/schedule/

So, you the renmin, have meibanfa.


10 Responses to “The Olympic (Pre-) Opening Ceremony”

  1. Neddy said

    Nice one. But it took me a second to figure out the “08/06/2008”. The American date format (M/D/Y) is the most illogical of them all. Of course us smug European civilised bastards favour D/M/Y, but even the reverse one (Chinese Y.M.D.) makes more sense; at least it is computer-friendly. End of rant…

  2. MyLaowai said

    And what is it with the 9th of November anyway?

  3. Neddy said

    Uh, “9th of what?” Who cares… Sometimes, I just enjoy a bit mindless banter which does not attract any of those retarded trolls. Enjoy the moment; it never lasts long.

  4. Hunxuer said

    I feel lied to, cheated on, reneged upon, violated. Oh…par for the course?

    OK, I feel better now.

    ~”Jia You” (last words heard before a sauna girl got the fist rammed up her…)

  5. Neddy said

    Just came across this memorable Olympic quote (it’s actually a double-barrelled one)

    “I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but there’s a sports event happening soon in China. It’s called the ‘Olympics’… [and] …from the frantic security tightening around town, you’d think Osama Bin Laden was coming to officially open a new Mosque.”


  6. LaoLao said

    Hey! Thanks for the post Mylaowai!

    I apologize for the date Neddy, maybe I should try and get it changed.

    Hiya Hun!

  7. Hunxuer said

    Hey boyz. Glad to see you alls over heah!

  8. justrecently said

    “You see, at the end of the day, the French are as bad as the Chinese.”
    The French? Shenme?

  9. Heiney said

    My God…
    Looks like some of the old Sinocidal gang are still alive and kicking in the blogosphere!

  10. LaoLao said


    kicking…hmmm. um no.

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