Merry Christmas. Again.
Posted by MyLaowai on Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Right, so it’s Christmas time back in the civilised world. Lucky you. I imagine you are enjoying being with people who don’t want to steal everything you own and then expel you. Or who don’t look at your pets with recipes in mind. You may even have received gifts, or have given them away yourselves. I can only imagine how nice that must be. What’s the weather like there? Winter or summer, I bet you can at least see the far side of the street without the smog getting in the way, right? Of course, it’s not easy for everyone at Christmas time – many families will have people in the armed forces away, for example. But look on the bright side: at least they are not about to go to war with Japan / the Philippines / Taiwan / Vietnam / India / Malaysia / Australia / the United States.
In China of course, everything is wonderful. The glorious Party and the magnificent and ancient Culture of mighty China lend, as always, a certain special majesty to anything and everything, and nothing is more improved by exposure to Chinese culture than poorly Western rituals that are a mere shadow of truly important Chinese festivals. Like, um, the one about eating dumplings. Or the other one about eating other dumplings for a different reason. Oh yeah, We All Love China. There’s a special word for how much we all love China, and that word is ‘Bollocks’ [note to censors: ‘Bollocks’ means ‘masculine’, sort of].
I wish I was in Taiwan.
Merry Christmas from all of us here at MLHQ. You, our readers, we do love. We’ll try to spend more time with you all next year.
Wo Shi Laowai - Wo Pa Shui 
Long Long Time Been Here said
Are these girls MLHQ staff?
MyLaowai said
Depends on how one defines ‘staff’… :)
alltrue said
if that is your staff my english friend then i will make love to all them within 1 day :-D. everyone of them is more of a woman than 100 chinese sick female iphone high heels zombies.
alltrue said
chinese women also smell so bad out of their mouth. u ever wake up beside one? uh….uff.
penguincadi said
I’m almost sure, @Alltrue, that you woke up with a slut who had swallowed white something from you and in the meantime passed HIV or hepatitis B to you. Are you feeling okay now, guy?
alltrue said
yep real women not chinese zombie females.
Chinese Netizen said
“We’ll try to spend more time with you all next year.” Will hold you to that!!
Long Long Time Been Here said
I second that, been very busy these last 6 months msyelf.
@Alltrue: you forgot the messed up teeth thing…
bg8s said
Unanimous. MLW is a poet…
Reblogging it. Incredibly fking funny.
penguincadi said
If you WERE on Taiwan, you might be one of the dead victims of the rampage knifer on the subway car. I’m serious.
Funny Rant by Mylaowai « Understanding China, One Blog at a Time said
[…] Right, so it’s Christmas time back in the civilised world. Lucky you. I imagine you are enjoying being with people who don’t want to steal everything you own and then expel you. Or who don’t look at your pets with recipes in mind. You may even have received gifts, or have given them away yourselves. I can only imagine how nice that must be. What’s the weather like there? Winter or summer, I bet you can at least see the far side of the street without the smog getting in the way, right? Of course, it’s not easy for everyone at Christmas time – many families will have people in the armed forces away, for example. But look on the bright side: at least they are not about to go to war with Japan / the Philippines / Taiwan / Vietnam / India / Malaysia / Australia / the United States. Continue https://mylaowai.com/2013/12/25/merry-christmas-again/ […]