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Archive for the ‘Lies & Damned Lies’ Category

Christie’s To Auction Falling Cow!

Posted by MyLaowai on Monday, March 2, 2009

ChinaDaily, the propaganda mouthpiece of the Chinese Communist Party, had this to say recently:

China fights to stop sale of looted relics.

China Tuesday demanded the auction of two looted historic bronze sculptures in Paris be canceled, saying it broke international conventions.

The auction seriously violates the country’s cultural rights and interests, and hurts national sentiment, it said.

A Paris court on Monday ruled against stopping the sale of the sculptures, rejecting an appeal filed by the Association for the Protection of Chinese Art in Europe.

The heads were taken from Beijing’s Old Summer Palace when it was razed by invading French and British forces in 1860 during the Second Opium War.

“The State Administration of Cultural Heritage (SACH) has formally informed the auctioneer of our strong opposition to the auction, and clearly demanded its cancellation,” Foreign Ministry spokesman Ma Zhaoxu told a news conference.

“The Western powers have plundered a great amount of Chinese cultural relics including many precious items robbed from the Old Summer Palace. All these should be returned to China,” Ma said.

Potent stuff and, I’m sure you’ll agree, well worth further consideration. So here at MyLaowai HQ, we went to work finding out what all this hullabaloo is all about…

The Qing Dynasty. The Qing Dynasty (or Manchu) ruled China from 1644 to 1912, but the really interesting thing is that they weren’t Chinese. The Qing were in fact Russians (specifically, descended from Jurchens, a Tungusic people who lived around the region now comprising the Russian province of Primorsky Krai). They didn’t like the Chinese, they didn’t trust the Chinese, and they most certainly didn’t see themselves as being even remotely related to the Chinese, who were after all nothing more than chattel in the eyes of the ruling Manchu. They famously forced all Han Chinese men to shave the front of their heads and comb the remaining hair into a queue, on pain of death. To the Manchu, this policy was a test of loyalty and an aid in telling friend from foe. For the Han Chinese, however, it was a “humiliating act of degradation” that went against their traditional Confucian values. The order was so deeply unpopular that it triggered strong resistance to Qing rule until at least the late 1640s. Hundreds of thousands were killed before all of China was brought into compliance. As a result of this ‘Queue Order’, to this day the Chinese hold a deep aversion to queues of any kind.

The Opium Wars. In 1793, the Emperor of China stated to the British Ambassador that China had no use for European manufactured products, and that as a consequence, Chinese merchants would only accept bar silver as payment for their goods. The British and French governments eventually sought alternative payment options, one of which was opium. The Chinese Government, which held a monopoly over the growing, production, refining, distribution, and export of this profitable drug, responded by banning foreigners from the Opium Trade altogether, and seizing or destroying stocks of opium held by foreign traders.. This led to a bit of a scrap (later referred to as the First Opium War) between the East India Company and the Chinese Government, which was resolved when the Chinese Government agreed to play fair and by international rules, and signed the Treaty of Nanjing. This is generally regarded as signalling the end of China’s isolation.

The Second Opium War came about as a result of international demands that China open it’s markets to foreign merchants, exempt foreign imports from illegal ‘internal transit duties’, stop acts of piracy, regulate the coolie trade, and give permission for foreign ambassadors to reside in Beijing. The Chinese Government completely rejected all such demands, and furthermore refused to honour the terms of the Treaty of Nanjing that it had signed. That was followed by an attempt to poison the entire European population of Hong Kong. However, local bakers, who had been charged with lacing bread with arsenic, bungled the attempt by putting an excess of the poison into the dough, in sufficient quantities to be detected. Criers were sent out with an alert, averting disaster. Enough was enough, and the international community responded by telling the Chinese to play fair and by the rules, or else face the consequences. All parties then signed the Tianjin Treaty, which essentially granted permission for foreigners to travel in China, and forced the Chinese Government to pay compensation to British merchants for the illegal destruction of their property. The Chinese, predictably, did not honour the terms of the Treaty they had just signed, and insisted the British meet for ‘peace talks’. When the British sent an envoy to these ‘peace talks’, he and his entire entourage were arrested and tortured, with some brutally murdered. The international community discussed the destruction of the Forbidden City in order to discourage the Chinese from using kidnapping as a bargaining tool, and to exact justice for the mistreatment of their hostages. The final decision was further motivated by the torture and murder of almost twenty Western prisoners, including two British envoys and a journalist for The Times. The Russian envoy Count Ignatiev and the French diplomat Baron Gros settled on the burning of the Summer Palaces instead, since it was “least objectionable” and would not jeopardize the treaty.

The ‘Looting’ Of The Old Summer Palace. There are a number of competing theories one must consider here. They are:
The “I was sold these goods by Chinese officials” Theory.
The “This stuff was stolen by Chinese citizens and later sold to foreigners” Theory.
The “All foreigners are to blame for everything, always” Theory.
Personally, I tend to subscribe to a combination of the first two of these Theories, based on the testimony of my Great Great [etc] Grandfather, Captain Angus MacLaowai of the Royal Engineers. He was actually there at the time and his will made note of the fact that the items from the Old Summer Palace he left to his family (and which I today possess), were legally purchased from Wang Xiansheng, a Chinese trader in Beijing. I’ll be damned if I give back something that was legally purchased, just because a Chinese trader stole them in the first place.

Putting It All Together. So, the original makers of the items in question were not Chinese to begin with, but Manchu. The war in question was fully justified and was in fact caused by the Chinese Government not keeping it’s word. And the items themselves were not stolen or looted, but were in fact legally purchased in good faith by innocent foreigners. Christie’s auction of the rat and rabbit bronzes did not break any international agreements and the pieces’ legal ownership has been “clearly confirmed.” It all seems pretty clear to me.

What China Didn’t Mention. There’s something curiously missing from the ‘fire and brimstone’ reporting from ChinaDaily, and that is the fact that the current legal owner of the bronze heads offered to give them to the Chinese Government, free of charge. That’s right folks: Pierre Berge (partner of designer Yves Saint Laurent) offered to return the pieces to China in return for a pledge to improve human rights. That’s it, just a little promise to start behaving responsibly and treat their own people a little bit better. The Chinese foreign ministry dismissed his offer as “just ridiculous.” The Chinese Government went on to say that it demanded the statues’ return, but the French government said it received no official request from Beijing, and the sale went ahead. Berge is offering the proceeds to fight AIDS, while the Beijing-based Global Times is accusing France of “hurting China’s feelings”, as usual.

A Late Twist. A Chinese man said Monday he was the mystery collector behind winning bids for two imperial bronzes auctioned at Christie’s over Beijing’s objections, and that he made bogus offers to protest any sale of the looted relics.

Auction house owner Cai Mingchao said he made the $36 million in bids for the bronze rat and rabbit heads by telephone last week when the pieces were auctioned in Paris as part of a collection owned by the late French designer Yves Saint Laurent.

“What I need to stress is that this money cannot be paid,” Cai told a news conference in Beijing. “At the time, I was thinking that any Chinese would do this if they could…”.

Cai, an art collector and expert on relics, is the owner of Xinheart, an auction company in the southern Chinese city of Xiamen.

And Now, Another Auction. As the current legal owner of a number of items that originated from the Old Summer Palace at the time the Chinese were taught their lesson, I am well within my rights to dispose of the goods in any manner I see fit. I am offering one of these priceless family heirlooms to the New Beijing Museum, free of charge, in exchange for a pledge by the Chinese Government to improve human rights. The piece in question is a bronze that the MyLaowai Family refer to as the Falling Cow.

The ball’s in your court now, chaps.

Falling Cow Auction. Bidding Starts Soon.

Posted in China, Falling Cow Zone, Human Rights, Lies & Damned Lies, Wang Xiansheng | 9 Comments »

He Says, They Say… (Reprise)

Posted by MyLaowai on Sunday, November 25, 2007

Darfur rebels spurn Chinese force

Rebels in Darfur have demanded that peacekeepers from China pull out of the Sudanese region just hours after the arrival of 135 Chinese engineers.

The army engineers arrived on Saturday to prepare for a joint UN and African Union peacekeeping force of 26,000.

The key Justice and Equality Movement (Jem) rebel group accuses China of being complicit in the Darfur conflict.

Last month the group attacked a Chinese-controlled oilfield, kidnapping several workers.

The Jem says it wants China to withdraw its support for the Sudanese government.

They say that oil sold to the Chinese is being used to fund government operations in Darfur.

Rebels would not allow the Chinese into areas controlled by their forces, Jem leader Khalil Ibrahim told the news agency Reuters following the arrival of the engineers.

“We oppose them coming because China is not interested in human rights. It is just interested in Sudan’s resources,” he said.

“We are calling on them to quit Sudan, especially the petroleum areas.”

Mr Ibrahim did not say whether he would target the Chinese engineers.

“I am not saying I will attack them. I will not say I will not attack them,” he said.

“What I am saying is that they are taking our oil for blood.”

The Chinese engineers are tasked with building roads and bridges and dig wells ahead of the deployment of the joint peacekeeping force planned for January.

The rebels have said they would not object to peacekeepers from any country other than China.

But on Friday, Sudanese President Omar Al-Bashir said his country would only accept non-African troops from Pakistan or China.

A month ago the Jem attacked Sudan’s Defra oilfield in the Kordofan region, run by a Chinese-controlled consortium, the Greater Nile Petroleum Operating Company.

Jem said at the time that the Chinese company had one week to leave Sudan.

An estimated 200,000 people have died during four-and-a-half years of fighting in Darfur, with a further two million people displaced.


But the Party mouthpiece, Xinhua, says this:

Chinese vanguards arrive in Darfur for peacekeeping

Vanguards of the Chinese engineering units arrived in the western Sudanese region of Darfur on Saturday to take part in the hybrid peacekeeping force of the United Nations and the African Union (AU).

The 135 Chinese peacekeepers, upon arrival in South Darfur State capital Niyala, were warmly welcomed by UN, AU and Sudanese officials at the Niyala International Airport.

The Chinese vanguards were also joined in the airport by five Chinese officers who had arrived in Niyala in August in order to receive the equipment of the Chinese peacekeepers, some of which have been transported there since September.

The 140 Chinese peacekeepers will dwell temporarily in a transitional camp before the camp of the Chinese unites is set up, an anonymous Chinese officer told Xinhua in a telephone contact.

The main tasks for the Chinese engineering units include building camps, roads and airports, and digging wells in addition to some other projects in preparations for the deployment of peacekeepers from other countries.

This is the first batch of the UN peacekeepers arriving in the region to implement UN Security Council Resolution 1769 adopted on July 31, which authorizes the deployment of a 26,000-strong hybrid peacekeeping force in Darfur.

The Chinese government has exerted a lot of efforts to help resolve the Darfur problem since armed conflicts erupted in the region in 2003, including appointing a special envoy for the Darfur issues and providing a large amount of relief materials to the region.

And there is also this headline:

Engineering peace, prosperity in Darfur

And another one here, in case anyone missed the point:

Chinese peacekeepers honored in Sudan

Jeez, 1984 anyone? Brazil, perhaps?

Posted in ChinaDaily, Human Rights, Lies & Damned Lies, Propaganda | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Latest: Typhoon Krosa

Posted by MyLaowai on Sunday, October 7, 2007

From that shining beacon of truth, Xinhua (faithfully reported by AP):

Powerful Typhoon Krosa made landfall in east China on Sunday afternoon, forcing the evacuation of more than one million people…

Krosa, the 16th typhoon this year, landed at 3:30 p.m. on Sunday near the borders of Zhejiang’s Cangnan County and Fujian’s Fuding City, packing winds of up to 126 km per hour, the Zhejiang Provincial Flood Prevention and Drought Relief Headquarters said…

Krosa is expected to trigger gale force winds, torrential rains and even landslides in some areas…

More than one million people have been evacuated […] while schools, airports, expressways and shipping services in some areas have been shut down. Meanwhile, vessels have been recalled to harbor.

The tourism authorities in Zhejiang have closed almost all scenic spots along the coast, and evacuated more than 500,000 holiday-makers who had flocked to the seaside resorts for the week-long National Day holiday ending on Sunday.

MyLaowai says: Utter Bollocks. Play a new record, Mister DeeJay, this one’s crap.

For the record, Mrs MyLaowai was in one of those scenic spots. In fact, at the time of writing she is on her way back from there. She says it was “a bit rainy”. No one was ‘evacuated’, schools have not been ‘shut down’ (because they were not open anyway – National Holiday, remember?), airports and expressways are all open for business as usual, and the ferries are still running. And I’ve just about had it with the Associated Press for having the audacity to repeat these lies over and over.

News in China? Give me a break.

UPDATE (late Sunday night): Ferries in the area have now been stopped by Government order, but although there is quite a lot of rain, there is nothing resembling a major storm or typhoon. Shanghai has just a light drizzle. Thank you for your attention, you may now return to your regular programming…

Posted in Environment, Lies & Damned Lies, Media | Tagged: , , | 5 Comments »

Missing Persons Alert! Where Is Wipha?

Posted by MyLaowai on Thursday, September 20, 2007

Typhoon Wipha, easily the most devastating storm to hit China in more than a decade, slammed into Shanghai in the early hours of Wednesday morning, bringing with it 200Kph winds and torrential rain, and leaving death and devastation in it’s wake. More than two million people were evacuated, the largest evacuation in sixty years, all flights were cancelled, and more than 700 homes destroyed.

At least, that’s what the State-run media would have us believe. Oh yes, and also those lazy bastards who claim to be journalists / reporters, and who work for the Western media, who seemed content to parrot every word of it verbatim, without once ever thinking of actually checking to see if any of it was actually true.

I, on the other hand, as a mere person who was actually there, saw nothing untoward. There was a slight drizzle, tending towards light rain at times, but clearing. There was a bit of a breeze, but although one of my outside pot plants got knocked over, it wasn’t enough to prevent me lighting a cigarette outside. Then again, perhaps I just spent my entire day in the eye of the storm (an eye which, conveniently, followed me around the city as I went about my business).

So, Where Was Wipha? And where now is the credibility of the fuckwit journo’s who were completely happy – yet again – to parrot something they’d been told by the Chinese Communist Party? It isn’t like this is the first time, indeed there would be very few days I don’t see the same stock copy reprinted for the benefit of readers of the New York Times, Washington Post, most of the English papers, and the worst of the worst – CNN and AP. Even the BBC does it at times (sorry Auntie, but you do). And the day that Fox ‘News’ ever reports a fact, factually, will be the day that I eat my cardboard baozi.

From typhoons to exports, Taiwan to Government statements, there are so many falsehoods, cover-ups, and outright blatant lies told by the people and Government of China, that one hardly knows where to start – and it is all reported faithfully by the lazy arse journo’s whom we entrust with our own information supply. Sure, there’re a few out there who know their trade, ask questions, actually listen to the answers, and then report it in a meaningful way, but when it comes to China I could count them all on the fingers of one hand. It’s worse still when those same reporters actually start to invent their own stories to support what they’ve been told to write coughCNNcough. There’s an easy test, of course – when Chinese are speaking, look closely at their mouths. If the lips move, then they are telling a lie.

Anyway, having got that off my chest, I’m just going to sit back and wait for the next terrible flood in which the same village is again washed away with tragic loss of life, the same 650,000 people lose their same homes, and the same soldiers race against time to build the same makeshift sandbag dike. Not that I’ve ever even heard of anyone who has ever actually seen any of it, but hey it’s a good story all the same, right AP?

Or you could simply get your news from people who are actually there. If it isn’t too much trouble.

Posted in Environment, Lies & Damned Lies, Media | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Quotations From Bastards

Posted by MyLaowai on Monday, September 3, 2007

From the Land That Time Forgot, these quotations…

“China is highly transparent in terms of military policies and security strategy, as reflected in its commitment to no-first-use of nuclear weapons… [but] Transparency will always be relative. The key point is mutual trust.”
– Peng Guangqian

Yeah, except that China has a stated first-use policy and is internationally known for having the least transparent set of military policies and budgets on earth.

The number of cases involving foreign institutions and individuals conducting illegal surveying and mapping in China has been on the rise in recent years, according to the State Bureau of Surveying and Mapping (SBSM).

In the first six months of this year, local authorities have handled five cases and investigating five others in the Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region, Shanghai Municipality, and Jiangxi and Jiangsu provinces.

SBSM said most of these foreigners came into the country under the disguise of scientists, tourists, expeditionists, and archaeologists.

The results of these foreigners’ surveying and mapping belong to China, and must not be brought and transmitted abroad without official permission by Chinese authorities, according to the law.

Foreigners who have illegally surveyed, collected and published geographical information on China will be severely punished according to law.
– ChinaDaily

These cases involve innocent people entering positional data into their GPS handsets. Hell, it includes me, since I’ve entered waypoints into my GPS-enabled cellphone. Come and get me. .

“Organic farming is not a new thing in Chinese agriculture. We did it thousands of years ago and now we are just going back to the traditions with some modern technologies.”
– Guo Changjun

Yeah. Modern Technology. Like not shitting in the rice paddy and calling it ‘Organic Farming’.

“China consistently spares no efforts to enforce its IPR legislation with great success acknowledged by the international community… It is regrettable for China to see the United States has chosen to request the establishment of a panel in spite of China’s efforts to settle this dispute through consultations.”
– Chinese WTO Delegation

Except that China rejected consultations under “relevant WTO regulations”.

If one person has too many babies, the whole village will have their tubes tied!
One pregnancy gets the ring. Two pregnancies gets your tubes tied. The third and fourth, kill kill kill!
– Family Planning Slogans


“The reality of this country’s economic reforms is that the country, the race, is prospering. This must be extolled. It can only be extolled. There can’t be anyone who makes fun of it. People who do either have ulterior motives or they’re mentally challenged… As a Chinese director … as a Chinese actor, this point of view must be firmly entrenched.”
– Han Sanping, China Film Group Chairman


An unidentified official with the [Zhejiang] provincial industry and commerce bureau said that a thorough inspection shall be carried out for imported food products.

He also warned people to be cautious of taking foreign nourishment and avoid blind faith in expansive [sic] products.

Yeah. Better to stick to cardboard-filled buns, right?

If we are serious about protecting Chinese culture, maybe we should begin by preventing our language from being Europeanized.
– Zou Hanru, ChinaDaily ‘opinion’ writer


Foreign acquisitions of Chinese companies will be subject to stringent new checks intended to protect national economic security under a new law passed Thursday.

“As well as anti-monopoly checks stipulated by this law, foreign mergers with, or acquisitions of, domestic companies or foreign capital investing in domestic companies’ operations in other forms should go through national security checks according to relevant laws and regulations”
– From the new Anti-Monopoly Law


Foreign investors are urged to pay more attention to environmental protection and energy conservation.

“China will strengthen restrictions on foreign investment in energy-intensive high polluting and low efficiency industries.”
– Vice-Minister of Commerce Wei Jianguo

Yeah, because that’s the exclusive traditional domain of Chinese companies.

Posted in Censorship, ChinaDaily, Environment, Food, Human Rights, Lies & Damned Lies, Propaganda, Rules of the Road | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

A True History of the P.R.C.

Posted by MyLaowai on Monday, August 27, 2007

October 1st, 1949
Just four years after the end of the Second World War, the first Brave Chinese emerges from hiding under his bed. His name is Mao Zedong (lit. Hairy Fat Bastard). Unopposed by either the Government or the military (none of whom have been seen since the first Japanese tourist set foot in China back in 1937), Mao proclaims to the world:

“China has stood up! Actually, we stood up quite quickly, and now our head is a bit dizzy. We’re going to sit down again now, but we’ll probably have another go at it in fifty years or so, after we’ve had a bit of a rest.”

Mao, realising the true greatness of the Chinese Spirit, immediately orders the formation of a New Model Army* (TM) (*available only in Red), and the invasion of both East Turkestan and Mongolia. The fighting is fierce and at times it looks as though the Red Army might lose, but in the end the fact that neither East Turkestan nor Mongolia are in possession of any soldiers, weapons, or indeed anything more dangerous than a punnet of yak butter, proves to be decisive. Chinese scholars immediately discover a map showing that “…these regions have always been a part of China since ancient times”.

The new Chinese National Flag is described by Mao as representing ‘New Democracy‘, with the large star symbolizing the Communist Party of China’s leadership, and the surrounding four smaller stars symbolizing the Bloc of Four Classes: proletarian workers, peasants, petty bourgeoisie, and the nationally-based capitalists. Foreign groups such as Cambodia’s Khmer Rouge, Peru’s Shining Path, the New People’s Army of the Philippines, and the Maoist Communist Party of India, later agree that Mao was on to a good thing.

Mao, realising the continuing true greatness of the Chinese Spirit, orders the invasion of Tibet. The fighting is fierce and at times it looks as though the Red Army might lose, but in the end the fact that Tibet is not in possession of any soldiers, weapons, or indeed anything more dangerous than a prayer wheel, proves to be decisive. Chinese scholars immediately discover a map showing that “…this region has always been a part of China since ancient times”.

Later the same year, a People’s Volunteer Army* (*note complete non-resemblance to, or any affiliation with, the People’s Liberation Army), march across the Sino-Korean border in order to take part in the Aid Korea, Fight America Campaign. This, too, is a huge success, with nearly 54,000 Evil Capitalist Running Dogs killed at a cost of only a million or so Volunteers KIA.

Mao launches the Three Anti’s Movement, in which the people are liberated from the evils of money, food, and independent thought. The people, freed from their burdens, rush to work every morning in labour camps all over the country.

The last Oppressive Foreign Capitalist Running Dogs are thrown out of the (now much-enlarged-since-ancient-times) country, and their (stolen) property nationalised in the name of the Chinese Communist Party. Mao celebrates with a hundred young girls and a few young boys, and declares that “…there is no prostitution in China”. Shanghai, formerly known as ‘The Whore of the Orient’, is renamed ‘The Keen Amateur Cadre Who Works In The Barbershop Around The Corner of the Orient’.

Following the runaway success of the Three Anti’s Movement, Mao launches the Five Anti’s Movement, in which the people are liberated from the evils of money, food, independent thought, their homes, and their children. The program is a hugely popular one, with over 15,000 trained propagandists working in Shanghai alone. As many as 18,000 confessions of sin are made in the first week of February 1952, and 210,000 by the end of the first month. Some big companies voluntarily make 1,000 confessions a day. The owner of the Dahua copper company originally over-confesses to having illegally obtained 50 million yuan. His employees encourage him to confess to greater crimes, however, and he re-confesses to having obtained a staggering 2 billion yuan, a sum greater than the entire Gross Domestic Product, and nearly enough to purchase a decent steak meal somewhere in Texas.

The [insert random number here] Anti’s Movement concept works so well, in fact, that repeat performances are scheduled to be given to receptive audiences for the next five decades:

1953 New Three-Anti Campaign
1957 Party Rectification
1957-1958 Anti-Rightist Movement
1961 Re-education of Party Members
1963-1964 New Five-Anti Campaign
1964 Party Rectification
1964-1966 Socialist Education
1969 Party Rectification
1981 Anti-Bourgeois Liberalization
1982 Anti-Corruption, Anti-Economic Crimes
1983 Party Rectification, Anti-Spiritual Pollution
1983-1987 Party Rectification
1987 Anti-Bourgeois Liberalism
1987-1988 Against Bourgeois Liberalism
1989 Against Bourgeois Liberalism
1989-1992 Anti-Corruption Drive
1993-2000 Anti-Corruption Campaign

The Red Army seizes the Taiwanese-owned Yijiangshan Islands, forcing Taiwan to abandon the Yachen Islands. Mao orders the Red Army to begin shelling Taiwanese positions on the Quemoy and Matsu Islands. His order to “…fire continuously every waking moment that you are not eating” is taken seriously by his military commanders, and as many as five rounds are shot every weekday, except during National Holidays, when the soldiers are forced to work weekends as well. The Red Army eventually loses interest, after also losing well over 20,000 soldiers and almost all it’s landing craft. Mao doesn’t even notice, as he is distracted by a fly.

WAR! Chinese forces peacefully self-defend themselves against foreign aggression in Burma. The Evil Foreign Oppressors are taught a lesson by the Brave Chinese, who don’t even run away very much at all. This ‘Mass Incident‘ is not mentioned in later Chinese textbooks. Repeated Burmese demands for an apology go unreported in China.

The Great Leap Forward is announced, the stated aim of which is to enable China to quickly overtake Great Britain and the United States in the production of shoddy, unsellable goods, and worthless, unusable pig-iron. The Leap is a complete success, and forty-two million people celebrate by voluntarily starving themselves to death. General Peng Dehuai, Supreme Commander of the People’s Volunteer Army and Defense Minister, mistakenly mentions that he isn’t convinced by the economic benefits, but later comes to realise his mistake and beats himself to death in 1974.

In other news, the Red Army resumes shelling of the Quemoy and Matsu Islands, as a prelude to the invasion of Taiwan. Failing to make any headway, Mao issues a ‘Message to the Compatriots in Taiwan’, calling for a peaceful solution to the ‘Taiwan Issue’ and asking for all Chinese to unite against the “American plot to divide China”. Sporadic shelling continues until 1979.

Mao steps down as Chairman of the Party, saying that he wants to concentrate on his writing. His ‘Little Red Book’, he says, isn’t what the publishers are looking for at this time, and all the Chairmaning work doesn’t leave him enough time for any of his wives or children. He names Liu Shaoqi his successor.

WAR! Chinese forces peacefully self-defend themselves against foreign aggression in India. The Evil Foreign Oppressors are taught a lesson by the Brave Chinese, who don’t even run away very much at all. This ‘Mass Incident‘ is not mentioned in later Chinese textbooks. Repeated Indian demands for an apology go unreported in China.

WAR! Chinese forces peacefully self-defend themselves again against foreign aggression in India. The Evil Foreign Oppressors are again taught a lesson by the Brave Chinese, who don’t even run away very much at all this time, either. This ‘Mass Incident‘ is also not mentioned in later Chinese textbooks. Repeated Indian demands for an apology go unreported in China.

The Cultural Revolution, which never actually happened at all, ever, not even a little bit, we don’t know what you’re talking about, nothing to see here, doesn’t actually begin. The Central People’s Broadcasting Station doesn’t set up over seventy million hate-propaganda speakers all over the country, on every street and in every neighbourhood, and the non-existent Cultural Revolution Group doesn’t issue a statement saying:

“Chairman Mao is a genius, everything the Chairman says is truly great; one of the Chairman’s words will override the meaning of tens of thousands of ours.”

Tens of millions of young people are not there at the time. They are probably away visiting their aunts in the country or something. Millions of students don’t form gangs to torture and kill their teachers and professors, nurses and medical students don’t drown doctors in toilet effluent, not one single young person denounces his or her parents for any reason at all. Liu Shaoqi’s death is an unfortunate case of accidentally torturing himself to death and then cremating himself afterwards. Nearly three million people are certainly not brutally murdered by anyone at all, especially by the young people who are probably in the countryside visiting their aunts or something. And that’s all as it should be, particularly since those same young people would be in their late forties and early-to-late fifties today, and therefore running most of the companies and institutions in the country.

WAR! Chinese forces peacefully self-defend themselves against foreign aggression along the Sino-USSR border formed by the Amur and Ussuri Rivers, on which China claims the historic right to navigate since ancient times. The Evil Foreign Oppressors are taught a lesson by the Brave Chinese, who don’t even run away very much at all. This ‘Mass Incident‘ is not mentioned in later Chinese textbooks. Repeated Russian demands for an apology go unreported in China.

Business is booming, and a journalist, visiting at the invitation of the unfortunately-named Deng Xiaoping, reports that:

‘In 1969 the total output increased 90 percent over 1966. That increase was 100 percent over designated capacity. On this basis, in 1970 we fulfilled production 42 days ahead.”

Mao Zedong, the Great Helmsman, dies. His body is converted into a wax candle by means of Advanced Alchemy, and is put on display. Rumours that he later turns orange and has his ear fall off are greatly exaggerated. A verdict on his reign finds that he was 70% correct, and 30% incorrect. The 30% incorrect portion relates to his repeated hosting of Curry Night at Zhongnanhai, in which he would cook his Famous-in-the-World Beef Vindaloo. Lin Biao in particular had been a staunch critic of Mao’s Vindaloo’s, and refused to allow his own staff anything other than Traditional And Delicious Chinese Cuisine*

(*Ironically, Lin Biao died on September 13th, 1971, when his private jet crashed. The inquest found that both Lin’s pilots had been poisoned by actually eating Chinese food, and recommended that in future, at least one pilot eat real food, imported from the West. This led in turn to KFC, McDonalds and Coca-Cola being invited to set up operations throughout China, and Deng Xiaoping’s ‘Open Door Policy’).

On July 28th, there is an earthquake in Tangshan, killing as many as 750,000 people and destroying 93% of all residential buildings. Mao’s successor, Hua Guofeng, shows great concern for the feelings of all the Chinese people, by refusing to accept Evil Foreign Assistance.

The same year, China is admitted to the United Nations as a result of a typing error. Repeated calls for the typist to apologise go unreported in China.

Deng Xiaoping takes his place at the reins, and over a billion people spontaneously rush out and buy Deng-style suits, replacing the now-faded Mao-style suits. Deng, standing just 3 feet, 4 inches high, quickly becomes famous for his habit of chain-smoking cigarettes made from Panda skin. Panda populations plummet worldwide. Deng also orders the setting up of a ‘Birth Planning Commission’ in every town, the purpose of which is to ensure that useless girl babies no longer waste the State’s resources. Boy babies, on the other hand, are fine, just so long as people only have one of them per pair of parents.

Deng, focused on ‘Developing China’s Economic’, observes that:

“To get rich at the expense of everyone else, at any cost, by any means fair or foul, is glorious.”


“It doesn’t matter whether it is a black cat, or a white cat, as long as you can shove a stick up it’s arse, and sell it as a lamb kebab.”

WAR! Chinese forces peacefully self-defend themselves against foreign aggression in Vietnam. The Evil Foreign Oppressors are taught a lesson by the Brave Chinese, who don’t even run away very much at all. This ‘Mass Incident‘ is not mentioned in later Chinese textbooks. Despite the fact that the Red Army’s maps are 75 years out of date, that the Red Army is one of only two militaries in the world with no system of rank, that there is no air support, that they are armed with WWII-era weapons, that there are no modern logistics, communications or transport facilities, and casualties may well be as high as 75% (the Red Army later admits to a 25% casualty rate), the self-defending operation against Evil Foreign Oppressors is a complete victory. Repeated Vietnamese demands for an apology go unreported in China.

Wang XianSheng becomes the first Chinese citizen in history to look both ways before crossing the road. Sadly, this goes totally unnoticed by anyone else, thus answering the question: “If a tree falls down in the forest and there is no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?”. Obviously, it doesn’t.

Deng Xiaoping proclaims that Hong Kong is to be incorporated into China under a policy of something called ‘One Country, Two Systems’ – no one knows precisely what he is talking about, but most people in China suspect it has something to do with the electrical grid or voltages or something. Perhaps telephones. People in Hong Kong start purchasing flights to Vancouver.

June 4th, 1989
Starbucks officially opens it’s first outlet in Tienanmen Square, Beijing. Hundreds of thousands of students form an orderly queue and wait patiently for their chance to have a coffee. Fireworks to celebrate the opening of the store are mistakenly reported to be gunfire by Evil Foreign Media, NATO estimates of 7,000 deaths, and Soviet estimates of 10,000 deaths, are all cited as examples of why China is a Victim Of Foreign Aggression. Starbucks are told to relocate their outlet to the Forbidden City, where they won’t be able to cause any trouble in the future.

Shortly afterwards, Jiang Zemin is promoted to the top job. Over a billion Chinese citizens spontaneously rush out and buy cheap, ill-fitting business suits. Jiang Zemin is later credited with ‘Three Represents’, an enormous intellectual contribution to world philosophy. Put simply, ‘Three Represents’ states that the Chinese Communist Party is responsible for “…the requirements of the development of China’s advanced productive forces, the orientation of the development of China’s advanced culture, and the fundamental interests of the overwhelming majority of the people in China”. No one really understands it, but it sounds catchy all the same.

Hong Kong becomes a colony of China. Both the electrical and telephone systems get re-wired. Shares in airlines that fly out of Hong Kong go through the roof.

An Evil Cult manages to cause spiritual harm to the entire Chinese people. It is, quite rightly, banned from practising in future. Chinese leaders are praised by the Chinese media for following a correct path.

In other news, hospitals open their doors to Good Foreigners Who Need Organ Replacement Therapy.

A US Navy EP-3E, a converted airliner, deliberately and without warning initiates Air Combat Manoeuvres (dogfighting) with a pair of Chinese fighter aircraft. One of the Chinese fighters is hit by the US Navy aggressor, killing the Brave Pilot. The EP-3E is damaged, but makes it to Hainan Island, where it is carefully repaired one system at a time by Chinese technicians, and the US crew allowed to enjoy a stay at a luxurious hotel, gratis. The inflight recorders are retained by the Red Army for legal reasons.

Hu Jintao, known affectionately to his Tibetan colleagues as ‘the Butcher of Lhasa’, is promoted to the hot seat. He immediately sets about making sure that everyone is healthy, and that everyone is protected from Foreign Diseases. A few newspapers who have been printing irresponsible rumours are closed down for the good of the people, and some lawyers get what’s coming to ’em. Hu Jintao, as an avid musician, presides over the commissioning of a new ‘Harmonica Society’ – the response from jailbirds is overwhelming. The Red Army, too, is delighted, having had it’s wish-list fully granted.

‘Morally Correct’ media reporting and entertainment that is free of Evil Foreign Influences leads to a citizenry that is fully content in every way. Everyone is happy, and China becomes known as the Land Of Milk And Honey.

Posted in Annexed Territories, China, Human Rights, Lies & Damned Lies, Propaganda, Wang Xiansheng | Tagged: , | 32 Comments »

MacArthur Was Right

Posted by MyLaowai on Saturday, August 25, 2007

I haven’t written much lately. Well, I’ve been quite busy, as it happens. In fact, if the truth be told, I’ve been busier than a one-legged man in an arse-kicking competition.


Let me put it to you like this:

There are two methods to deal with any situation. They are:
A. The simple, efficient, effective way.
B. The excessively complicated, massively inefficient, hopelessly ineffective, overly expensive, time consuming, way that doesn’t work.

Which option do you think 99.99% of all Chinese would choose? B, you say? Correct. Efficient and effective methods make it harder to extort, steal, pilfer, blackmail, embezzle, defraud, filch, fleece, misappropriate, rip off, swindle act like a normal Chinese, and you are more likely to be held accountable for your lies, distortions, deceptions, fabrications, dishonesties, falsities, fibs, porky-pies, inaccuracies, prevarications, whoppers normal Chinese language statements. Which is why Chinese don’t like efficient and effective methods. Put bluntly, the vast majority of people here are as crooked as a dogs’ hind leg. They lie, cheat and steal in much the way as sheep eat grass, bee’s buzz, and you and I breathe. Hell, your ordinary Chinese couldn’t lie straight in bed. Yes, there are a few good ‘uns, but they are in a minority so tiny, and they suffer for it so much at the hands of their countrymen, that you’ve little chance of encountering more than one a year. And none at all in business.

The point of all this, is that I’m the guy who has to pick up the pieces when my customers (who are not Chinese) get shafted by the rough-sawn length of 4″x2″ timber that is normal Chinese ‘business practice’.

The thing though, the actual thing that really pisses me right off, is that no matter how badly a Chinese fucks you over, they will always consider themselves the victim when the subject is brought up. You certainly can’t hold them to account for the things they’ve promised. “Oh no”, they will tell you, with that lying mouth of theirs, “I didn’t promise. It was just a suggestion. It’s not my fault that you misunderstood. It’s not my fault”.

It’s never anyone’s fault but yours. And in a way that’s true. Anyone who gets involved in any dealings with these lying, deceitful bastards has only themselves to blame if when it all goes pear-shaped. And that applies to me, too. I know better, I understand how these evil-minded pricks operate, I see them for what they really are, and I run the risk of doing business with them. I’m buggered if I know why, sometimes.

In other news, here are just three of the other things that have pissed me off this week:

1. Someone I know works at a Consulate here in China. I won’t say which one, but it is European. I also won’t detail what I know about the relationships certain high-level people have with certain ‘Snake Head’ human smuggling gangs. What I will say, is that two Chinese illegal emigrants (a husband and wife couple) to the country represented by this consulate, returned to China for a holiday. Possibly they also wanted to see their daughter, whom they had abandoned as a baby and had been in the care of relatives for the last four years. Anyway, when they attempted to return to [unknown European country], they were stopped at the airport. So off these people went to the Consulate of [unknown European country], where they started complaining about the treatment they had suffered. The theme? They were the victims. Illegal immigrants who abandoned their child as a baby, who have had a number of good years at the expense of a foreign country, who were too fucking stupid to even get a fake visa stamp – and somehow they are the victims?

2. There’s been yet another mine disaster, in which 172 miners are admitted to have died when the mine flooded. It’s been several days now, and only a token effort has been made to ‘rescue’ the (probably now dead) miners. Officially, about 5,000 miners die every year in Chinese coal mines, but the true number is somewhere between 40,000 and 80,000 (including those who die of ‘Black Lung’ and other related diseases). At this particular mine, management have now put up a banner over the South Gate that reads: ‘Heaven is merciless, but we love you and the Communist Party loves you most’.

3. A friend of mine, who has a business here, employs a cook. The cook works in the kitchen, providing meals for the Chinese staff. Free meals. A couple of days ago, this dumbfuck cook is shuffling across the road without looking, and gets hit by a bus. This didn’t happen at work, it happened in the cook’s own time, near his home. He didn’t die, but he was injured a fair bit. His entire extended family immediately swarmed in from all over China. Not one of them went to the hospital, though. Oh no. They all went to pay a visit to my friend, the cook’s employer, and demanded compensation from him. Paid directly to themselves.

General Douglas MacArthur was right – we should have nuked this place when we had the chance. I see in my mind’s eye a great glass-floored, self-illuminating carpark, stretching from Beijing to Guangzhou, and it makes me smile happily. This week in particular.

It’s no wonder I drink.

Posted in Lies & Damned Lies | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Michael Chang, Wipe Your Nose

Posted by MyLaowai on Friday, July 27, 2007

Pop Quiz: Who is Michael Chang?

a – A washed-up tennis player who is liked by everyone’s mother

b – A Chinaman living in the USA, on the payroll of the Chinese Communist Party, who occasionally writes unpaid articles for Asia Times Online, in the ‘Speaking Freely’ section.

c – All of the above

The correct answer of course, is ‘c’, though the character referred to in this post, is the one in ‘b’.

Michael Chang (real name is something probably unpronounceable) writes lovely little opinion pieces from time to time. His latest one, entitled ‘Let Us Now Praise Hu Jintao‘ (bless his cotton socks), is a real doozy. If I might be so bold as to quote from it:

[Hu] is a man of few empty words, preferring to let actions speak for him… He mingle[s] well with peasants, factory workers, retirees and students. He has been called “elder brother Hu” by millions of Chinese Internet users, a nickname denoting a strong sense of camaraderie and bonding; it is a genuine rarity in Chinese politics that the nation’s president can be identified as a “brother”.

Internationally, Hu has paid state visits to several dozen countries, lavishly doling out economic assistance without strings attached, signing trade agreements based on mutual needs, and offering technical assistance, especially in infrastructure construction, without getting involved in local politics. In some poor countries, especially on the Africa continent, he was hailed as a new descending “messiah”.

Under Hu’s administration, ably complemented by Premier Wen Jiabao, the reputation of China has soared to new heights. Never before in the history of mankind has a nation been under such tight scrutiny and attention by the rest of the world community, targeted for international intrigues and plots, mingled with jealousy, propaganda, innuendo, and outright lies about the Hu-Wen government, its policies, directions, and accomplishments.

… Even in its heyday, the US couldn’t muster such an awesome display of prestige.

Seemingly oblivious to the fact that Hu Jintao is known as the ‘Butcher of Lhasa‘ by the Tibetan people for his deeds there, Mister Chang goes on a bit more in this vein, and waxes poetic indeed on the great victories Hu Jintao enjoyed in dealing with the SARS epidemic, the 2003 Hong Kong crisis, the Anti-Secession Law (which targets Taiwan), and the Harmonious Society that is China. The best bit, however, is this:

Under Hu’s and Wen’s leadership, China’s international standing has reached a new plateau, winning new friends and admirers. Its status as a responsible stakeholder has been certified time and again… China has earned the title of worldwide infrastructure builder… the facts remain that the Hu-Wen government has fundamentally changed the world’s view on China and changed the world as well, something that is truly unprecedented in the history of mankind.

Michael Chang, I hereby award you the MyLaowai Handkerchief Trophy, with which you can wipe the poo off the end of your nose. I’m even throwing in some sunscreen, to prevent you getting burned by the sunlight streaming out of Hu Jintao’s arsehole.

Michael Chang:  Twat.

Posted in Lies & Damned Lies, Propaganda | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

He Says, They Say…

Posted by MyLaowai on Saturday, June 30, 2007

I find sometimes, that it’s helpful to put quotations into perspective:

In China, we don’t have software blocking Internet sites. Sometimes we have trouble accessing them. But that’s a different problem… I’m sure I don’t know why people say this kind of thing. We do not have restrictions at all… Some people say that there are journalists in China that have been arrested. We have hundreds of journalists in China, and some of them have legal problems. It has nothing to do with freedom of expression.

– Chinese Government Official

This is a list of notable websites blocked in the People’s Republic of China. This list includes websites that are specifically blocked in one or more regions of the People’s Republic of China (PRC) under the country’s policy of Internet censorship. Websites that are only blocked in particular institutions (e.g. universities) or are inaccessible because of packet filtering (and hence may be only partially or sporadically blocked) are not included in this list.

This list does not apply to the special administrative regions of Hong Kong and Macau, which have their own legal systems.


  • BBC News (news.bbc.co.uk), the main BBC site (www.bbc.co.uk) is not blocked
  • Boxun News (www.boxun.com)
  • CBS (www.cbs.com)
  • China Digital Times (chinadigitaltimes.net)
  • China Times (www.chinatimes.com.tw)
  • The Epoch Times (epochtimes.com)
  • People’s Radio Hong Kong (www.prhk.org)
  • Radio Canada International (www.rcinet.ca)
  • Radio Free Asia (www.rfa.org)
  • Radio Taiwan International (www.rti.org.tw)
  • Sing Tao Daily (www.singtao.com)
  • TVBS (www.tvbs.com.tw)
  • United Nations News (www.unitednationsnews.com)
  • Voice of America (www.voa.gov)
  • World Journal (www.worldjournal.com)
  • Yazhou Zhoukan (www.yzzk.com)

Blogging/web hosting services

  • Flickr image servers (farm1.static.flickr.com, farm2.static.flickr.com)
  • LiveJournal (www.livejournal.com)
  • Tripod (www.tripod.lycos.com)
  • Technorati (www.technorati.com)
  • WordPress.com (www.wordpress.com)
  • Xanga (www.xanga.com)
  • Blogspot blogs
  • TypePad blogs

Non-governmental organizations

  • Amnesty International (www.amnesty.org)
  • Human Rights Watch (www.hrw.org)
  • Reporters Without Borders (www.rsf.org)
  • Students for a Free Tibet (studentsforafreetibet.org)

Governments and political parties

  • Central Tibetan Administration (www.tibet.net, http://www.tibet.com)
  • Democratic Party of Hong Kong (www.dphk.org)
  • Democratic Progressive Party (www.dpp.org.tw)
  • Kuomintang (www.kmt.org.tw)

Online games

  • Particracy (www.particracy.net)


  • The Gate of Heavenly Peace companion website (www.tsquare.tv)
  • Morning Sun companion website (www.morningsun.org)

(Source: Wikipedia)

This guy has the right idea: The Block China Petition

Posted in Censorship, Lies & Damned Lies, Media | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Dear Dad…

Posted by MyLaowai on Saturday, June 16, 2007

My old man is a decent bloke. He’s one of those chaps who deeply, sincerely believes in the goodness and downright humanity of all people, everywhere. That belief has cost him a few times, when people with a little less goodness and humanity than average have taken advantage of his better nature, but by and large it’s a belief that has seen him right and won him many friends. Despite not being particularly religious, he’s a better Christian than most Christians will ever be, and kudos to him for it.

I used to feel much the same way. As I’ve stated elsewhere, I used to believe that all people were all basically the same, that all parents wanted a better life for their kids than they had themselves, that education was the key to progress, that when you smiled at people, the vast majority would smile back, that love really was the most basic human emotion.

And then I came to the People’s Republic of Cheats China.

I was chatting to my dad the other day on the phone – always a bit tricky, due to the difference in time zones (he lives 5 hours and 5,000 years ahead of China). Anyway, he happened to mention that he’d taken a look at this blog, and he’d been a bit unimpressed. Essentially, he thought it was just a bunch of people complaining about things for the sake of it. I pondered that for quite some time. Is that what we all seem to sound like? Sure, we complain, but isn’t it at least possible that there’s something to it all? What would it take, short of actually living here, to even begin to understand what is really going on in this Evil Empire?

Well, dad, this post is dedicated to you.

1. Do you remember a couple of months back, when you asked about the weather here in Shanghai? I think I replied something to the effect that it was a bit chilly, but not raining. Well, dad, I really shouldn’t have done that. You see, by telling you the current weather, I was in violation of both the 1988 Law on the Protection of State Secrets, and the 1990 Measures for Implementing the Law on the Protection of State Secrets. I can be dragged out of my home in the middle of the night by plainclothed thugs and made to disappear for that. Or I could simply be kept under house arrest without charge indefinitely.

New regulations to take effect next year will clamp down on the illegal acquisition of Chinese meteorological information by foreigners.

The China Meteorological Administration (CMA) has identified about 20 breaches of weather security since 2000, the paper said.

“Illegal meteorological surveys and data collection have infringed China’s sovereignty… and threatened the country’s security,” the paper quoted CMA Vice Minister Zheng Guogang as saying.

– China Daily, 2006

2. Of course, I’m not likely to really get into trouble for telling you the weather, am I? That would be silly. On the other hand, by telling you that the weather is a State Secret, I am in violation of the State Secrets Law. Boy, I’m really racking up the charges now, ain’t I?

According to New York-based Human Rights in China, the world’s most populous country needs to come up with a clear definition of what it considers to be a state secret, The Los Angeles Times reported.

In a study released Tuesday, Human Rights in China said citizens in China have been thrown into jail for mailing newspaper clippings, defending displaced tenants and writing a doctoral thesis using 50-year-old library records.

A Chinese woman whose son was imprisoned for revealing state secrets said the lack of a clear definition means they can call anything they want a state secret, the Times said.

“It’s a conspiracy. They can use these at will to punish people,” Gao Quinsheng said in the article.

3. Of course, it all sounds a bit, well, dramatic, doesn’t it? I mean, it’s not the Cold War any longer, and we’re all friends now in this harmonious new world, aren’t we? Surely China has a right to look after its’ own interests, and anyway, there are plenty of laws to protect people. The Constitution certainly does.

Tell that to my friend, a lawyer who took on a class action against the Shanghai Municipal Government, on behalf of residents who had been illegally evicted from their homes. Their homes were demolished and the land use rights sold to property developers. He won his case, the first time in history that the Chinese Communist Party has lost a court case on its own turf. And then, a week later, my friend was bundled into a police car whilst walking down the street, and sent to the Laogai. Because the Laogai system is extra-judicial, there was no trial, no appeal, and little hope of survival. His family weren’t informed of this for some time. A large number of people gathered to protest (many of whom were the residents on whose behalf he had taken on the court case). Some twenty of them were taken away, too. They haven’t been heard of since. Oh yes, and the same week the ruling judge overturned his own verdict and exonerated the Shanghai Government.

4. But let us not concern ourselves with isolated events. Sure, there are a few unfortunate cases, but by and large China is a peaceful nation and the Party is working hard to improve the condition of the people. Right? I mean, yes, they have annexed Tibet, East Turkestan, and half of Mongolia, and they did invade India, Vietnam, and Korea, not to mention initiating hostilities against Russia and the UN, and supported (financially and materially) revolutionary and anti-government groups in literally dozens of countries. And sure, they were the force behind the Khmer Rouge, and have supplied weapons and intelligence to Osama Bin Laden, Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic, and various groups in the Sudan and elsewhere (and there’s always Taiwan to consider)… BUT, that’s all history, yes?

No. The Chinese Communist Party has an ambitious buying program underway for the Red Army, which includes Improved Kilo SSK’s and Sovremennyy DDG’s armed with SS-N-22 Moskit (‘Sunburn’) ramjet-powered supersonic cruise missiles (to which no defence yet exists). There are new main battle tanks, new mobile artillery, and a brand spanking new airforce that includes SU-27’s, SU-27SK’s, SU-30MK’s, and the new J-10’s. Look ’em up on Google, dad, they are rather impressive. They are developing their own aircraft carriers, and have already purchased the aircraft that will fly off them. There is a new generation of ballistic missile submarines (the 094) entering service now, armed with the DF-31 ballistic missiles (8,000 Km range, MIRV’d warheads). Not that they did it all on their own, the Los Alamos facility all but admitted that every one of their warhead designs were stolen by Chinese spies. Add to this list a manned space program operated for and by the military and the worlds largest army (1.7 million men under arms, which does not include other armed services such as the Peoples Armed Police or the Public Security Forces). What they don’t have is a functional healthcare system, social security net, or many of the other things countries that care about their people seem to have.

5. All well and good, but they wouldn’t actually use any of that hardware, would they? According to Major General Zhu Chenghu, they would:

China should use nuclear weapons against the United States if the American military intervenes in any conflict over Taiwan, a senior Chinese military official has said.

“If the Americans draw their missiles and position-guided ammunition on to the target zone [China or Taiwan], I think we will have to respond with nuclear weapons.”

In extensive comments, Zhu said he believed that the Chinese government was under internal pressure to change its “no first use” policy and to make clear that it would employ the most powerful weapons at its disposal to defend its claim over Taiwan.

Many military analysts have assumed that any battle over Taiwan would be localized, with both China and the United States taking care to ensure that it would not expand into a general war between the two powers, but the comments by Zhu suggest that at least some elements of the military are prepared to widen the conflict.

“If the Americans are determined to interfere, then we will be determined to respond,” he said. “We Chinese will prepare ourselves for the destruction of all the cities east of Xian. Of course the Americans will have to be prepared that hundreds of cities will be destroyed by the Chinese.”

Zhu’s threat is not the first of its kind from a senior Chinese military official. In 1995, Xiong Guangkai, who is now the deputy chief of the general staff of the People’s Liberation Army, told Chas Freeman, a former Pentagon official, that China would consider using nuclear weapons in a Taiwan conflict. Freeman quoted Xiong as saying that Americans should worry more about Los Angeles than Taipei.

Add to that the fact that they recently “blinded a U.S. satellite using a ground-based laser, and blasted one of its own satellites out of orbit with a ballistic missile”, not to mention what they are currently doing to the people in Tibet and East Turkestan…

6. But how do the Chinese people feel about this? That question was asked recently by the BBC. There were many replies, most slightly muted and not as extreme as we who live here hear. These were among the conclusions of the non-Chinese who saw the programme:

I see all these opinions from people of Chinese origin and they confirm my fears. They are not interested in a peaceful China, a tolerant China, a democratic and liberal China, they want to see the superpower, the best country in the world throwing its weight around and bullying the rest of the world. It seems to me that they want an imperialistic China as much as they detest any western superpower. Not good, not good at all.

The future will indeed be a scary place as China will likely be another superpower. A superpower that is undemocratic and has no respect for human rights. A nation that is getting stronger economically and militarily every day.

After speaking with many young Chinese people overseas, I was astonished by the amazing effect of nationalistic propaganda imposed on the new generation. Any criticism towards the communist party is regarded by them as an attack on the people and nation of China. The Chinese communist party has reinforced its grasp of power very well after putting down the massive democratic movement of 1989. I believe the students had good intentions 15 years ago but were overly naïve and hasty. The movement achieved exactly the opposite of its goals: Even if the government at the time was starting to slowly concede more political freedom to the people, it certainly changed its mind in 1989 and decided instead to re-educate the youths to ensure that such challenges to the absolute authority of the Party never happened again.


7. And here I have to say, I lack the will to go on. Mind you, y’know the saying about a picture being worth a thousand words? Well I’ve written just under two thousand words here, but they cannot capture the Spirit Of China nearly as well as the following picture of a Police vehicle:


‘If you ride a motorcycle [use a vehicle] to rob [commit a crime],
You’ll be shot to death on the spot’

If, after all this, you remain unconvinced, then all I can do is tell you that, whilst these people think chicken claws and rats intestines is good food, they hate both Marmite and Vegemite. And that should be enough to convince anyone!

Posted in Censorship, Corruption, Human Rights, Lies & Damned Lies | Tagged: , | 12 Comments »