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Quotations From Bastards

Posted by MyLaowai on Monday, September 3, 2007

From the Land That Time Forgot, these quotations…

“China is highly transparent in terms of military policies and security strategy, as reflected in its commitment to no-first-use of nuclear weapons… [but] Transparency will always be relative. The key point is mutual trust.”
– Peng Guangqian

Yeah, except that China has a stated first-use policy and is internationally known for having the least transparent set of military policies and budgets on earth.
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The number of cases involving foreign institutions and individuals conducting illegal surveying and mapping in China has been on the rise in recent years, according to the State Bureau of Surveying and Mapping (SBSM).

In the first six months of this year, local authorities have handled five cases and investigating five others in the Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region, Shanghai Municipality, and Jiangxi and Jiangsu provinces.

SBSM said most of these foreigners came into the country under the disguise of scientists, tourists, expeditionists, and archaeologists.

The results of these foreigners’ surveying and mapping belong to China, and must not be brought and transmitted abroad without official permission by Chinese authorities, according to the law.

Foreigners who have illegally surveyed, collected and published geographical information on China will be severely punished according to law.
– ChinaDaily

These cases involve innocent people entering positional data into their GPS handsets. Hell, it includes me, since I’ve entered waypoints into my GPS-enabled cellphone. Come and get me. .

“Organic farming is not a new thing in Chinese agriculture. We did it thousands of years ago and now we are just going back to the traditions with some modern technologies.”
– Guo Changjun

Yeah. Modern Technology. Like not shitting in the rice paddy and calling it ‘Organic Farming’.
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“China consistently spares no efforts to enforce its IPR legislation with great success acknowledged by the international community… It is regrettable for China to see the United States has chosen to request the establishment of a panel in spite of China’s efforts to settle this dispute through consultations.”
– Chinese WTO Delegation

Except that China rejected consultations under “relevant WTO regulations”.
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一人超生，全村结扎！
If one person has too many babies, the whole village will have their tubes tied!
“一胎环，二胎扎，三胎四胎杀杀杀！”
One pregnancy gets the ring. Two pregnancies gets your tubes tied. The third and fourth, kill kill kill!
– Family Planning Slogans

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“The reality of this country’s economic reforms is that the country, the race, is prospering. This must be extolled. It can only be extolled. There can’t be anyone who makes fun of it. People who do either have ulterior motives or they’re mentally challenged… As a Chinese director … as a Chinese actor, this point of view must be firmly entrenched.”
– Han Sanping, China Film Group Chairman

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An unidentified official with the [Zhejiang] provincial industry and commerce bureau said that a thorough inspection shall be carried out for imported food products.

He also warned people to be cautious of taking foreign nourishment and avoid blind faith in expansive [sic] products.
-ChinaDaily

Yeah. Better to stick to cardboard-filled buns, right?
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If we are serious about protecting Chinese culture, maybe we should begin by preventing our language from being Europeanized.
– Zou Hanru, ChinaDaily ‘opinion’ writer

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Foreign acquisitions of Chinese companies will be subject to stringent new checks intended to protect national economic security under a new law passed Thursday.

“As well as anti-monopoly checks stipulated by this law, foreign mergers with, or acquisitions of, domestic companies or foreign capital investing in domestic companies’ operations in other forms should go through national security checks according to relevant laws and regulations”
– From the new Anti-Monopoly Law

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Foreign investors are urged to pay more attention to environmental protection and energy conservation.

“China will strengthen restrictions on foreign investment in energy-intensive high polluting and low efficiency industries.”
– Vice-Minister of Commerce Wei Jianguo

Yeah, because that’s the exclusive traditional domain of Chinese companies.

Posted in Censorship, ChinaDaily, Environment, Food, Human Rights, Lies & Damned Lies, Propaganda, Rules of the Road | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

A True History of the P.R.C.

Posted by MyLaowai on Monday, August 27, 2007

October 1st, 1949
Just four years after the end of the Second World War, the first Brave Chinese emerges from hiding under his bed. His name is Mao Zedong (lit. Hairy Fat Bastard). Unopposed by either the Government or the military (none of whom have been seen since the first Japanese tourist set foot in China back in 1937), Mao proclaims to the world:

“China has stood up! Actually, we stood up quite quickly, and now our head is a bit dizzy. We’re going to sit down again now, but we’ll probably have another go at it in fifty years or so, after we’ve had a bit of a rest.”

Mao, realising the true greatness of the Chinese Spirit, immediately orders the formation of a New Model Army* (TM) (*available only in Red), and the invasion of both East Turkestan and Mongolia. The fighting is fierce and at times it looks as though the Red Army might lose, but in the end the fact that neither East Turkestan nor Mongolia are in possession of any soldiers, weapons, or indeed anything more dangerous than a punnet of yak butter, proves to be decisive. Chinese scholars immediately discover a map showing that “…these regions have always been a part of China since ancient times”.

The new Chinese National Flag is described by Mao as representing ‘New Democracy‘, with the large star symbolizing the Communist Party of China’s leadership, and the surrounding four smaller stars symbolizing the Bloc of Four Classes: proletarian workers, peasants, petty bourgeoisie, and the nationally-based capitalists. Foreign groups such as Cambodia’s Khmer Rouge, Peru’s Shining Path, the New People’s Army of the Philippines, and the Maoist Communist Party of India, later agree that Mao was on to a good thing.

1950
Mao, realising the continuing true greatness of the Chinese Spirit, orders the invasion of Tibet. The fighting is fierce and at times it looks as though the Red Army might lose, but in the end the fact that Tibet is not in possession of any soldiers, weapons, or indeed anything more dangerous than a prayer wheel, proves to be decisive. Chinese scholars immediately discover a map showing that “…this region has always been a part of China since ancient times”.

Later the same year, a People’s Volunteer Army* (*note complete non-resemblance to, or any affiliation with, the People’s Liberation Army), march across the Sino-Korean border in order to take part in the Aid Korea, Fight America Campaign. This, too, is a huge success, with nearly 54,000 Evil Capitalist Running Dogs killed at a cost of only a million or so Volunteers KIA.

1951
Mao launches the Three Anti’s Movement, in which the people are liberated from the evils of money, food, and independent thought. The people, freed from their burdens, rush to work every morning in labour camps all over the country.

The last Oppressive Foreign Capitalist Running Dogs are thrown out of the (now much-enlarged-since-ancient-times) country, and their (stolen) property nationalised in the name of the Chinese Communist Party. Mao celebrates with a hundred young girls and a few young boys, and declares that “…there is no prostitution in China”. Shanghai, formerly known as ‘The Whore of the Orient’, is renamed ‘The Keen Amateur Cadre Who Works In The Barbershop Around The Corner of the Orient’.

1952
Following the runaway success of the Three Anti’s Movement, Mao launches the Five Anti’s Movement, in which the people are liberated from the evils of money, food, independent thought, their homes, and their children. The program is a hugely popular one, with over 15,000 trained propagandists working in Shanghai alone. As many as 18,000 confessions of sin are made in the first week of February 1952, and 210,000 by the end of the first month. Some big companies voluntarily make 1,000 confessions a day. The owner of the Dahua copper company originally over-confesses to having illegally obtained 50 million yuan. His employees encourage him to confess to greater crimes, however, and he re-confesses to having obtained a staggering 2 billion yuan, a sum greater than the entire Gross Domestic Product, and nearly enough to purchase a decent steak meal somewhere in Texas.

The [insert random number here] Anti’s Movement concept works so well, in fact, that repeat performances are scheduled to be given to receptive audiences for the next five decades:

1953 New Three-Anti Campaign
1957 Party Rectification
1957-1958 Anti-Rightist Movement
1961 Re-education of Party Members
1963-1964 New Five-Anti Campaign
1964 Party Rectification
1964-1966 Socialist Education
1969 Party Rectification
1981 Anti-Bourgeois Liberalization
1982 Anti-Corruption, Anti-Economic Crimes
1983 Party Rectification, Anti-Spiritual Pollution
1983-1987 Party Rectification
1987 Anti-Bourgeois Liberalism
1987-1988 Against Bourgeois Liberalism
1989 Against Bourgeois Liberalism
1989-1992 Anti-Corruption Drive
1993-2000 Anti-Corruption Campaign

1954-1955
The Red Army seizes the Taiwanese-owned Yijiangshan Islands, forcing Taiwan to abandon the Yachen Islands. Mao orders the Red Army to begin shelling Taiwanese positions on the Quemoy and Matsu Islands. His order to “…fire continuously every waking moment that you are not eating” is taken seriously by his military commanders, and as many as five rounds are shot every weekday, except during National Holidays, when the soldiers are forced to work weekends as well. The Red Army eventually loses interest, after also losing well over 20,000 soldiers and almost all it’s landing craft. Mao doesn’t even notice, as he is distracted by a fly.

1956
WAR! Chinese forces peacefully self-defend themselves against foreign aggression in Burma. The Evil Foreign Oppressors are taught a lesson by the Brave Chinese, who don’t even run away very much at all. This ‘Mass Incident‘ is not mentioned in later Chinese textbooks. Repeated Burmese demands for an apology go unreported in China.

1958
The Great Leap Forward is announced, the stated aim of which is to enable China to quickly overtake Great Britain and the United States in the production of shoddy, unsellable goods, and worthless, unusable pig-iron. The Leap is a complete success, and forty-two million people celebrate by voluntarily starving themselves to death. General Peng Dehuai, Supreme Commander of the People’s Volunteer Army and Defense Minister, mistakenly mentions that he isn’t convinced by the economic benefits, but later comes to realise his mistake and beats himself to death in 1974.

In other news, the Red Army resumes shelling of the Quemoy and Matsu Islands, as a prelude to the invasion of Taiwan. Failing to make any headway, Mao issues a ‘Message to the Compatriots in Taiwan’, calling for a peaceful solution to the ‘Taiwan Issue’ and asking for all Chinese to unite against the “American plot to divide China”. Sporadic shelling continues until 1979.

1959
Mao steps down as Chairman of the Party, saying that he wants to concentrate on his writing. His ‘Little Red Book’, he says, isn’t what the publishers are looking for at this time, and all the Chairmaning work doesn’t leave him enough time for any of his wives or children. He names Liu Shaoqi his successor.

1960
WAR! Chinese forces peacefully self-defend themselves against foreign aggression in India. The Evil Foreign Oppressors are taught a lesson by the Brave Chinese, who don’t even run away very much at all. This ‘Mass Incident‘ is not mentioned in later Chinese textbooks. Repeated Indian demands for an apology go unreported in China.

1962-1963
WAR! Chinese forces peacefully self-defend themselves again against foreign aggression in India. The Evil Foreign Oppressors are again taught a lesson by the Brave Chinese, who don’t even run away very much at all this time, either. This ‘Mass Incident‘ is also not mentioned in later Chinese textbooks. Repeated Indian demands for an apology go unreported in China.

1966
The Cultural Revolution, which never actually happened at all, ever, not even a little bit, we don’t know what you’re talking about, nothing to see here, doesn’t actually begin. The Central People’s Broadcasting Station doesn’t set up over seventy million hate-propaganda speakers all over the country, on every street and in every neighbourhood, and the non-existent Cultural Revolution Group doesn’t issue a statement saying:

“Chairman Mao is a genius, everything the Chairman says is truly great; one of the Chairman’s words will override the meaning of tens of thousands of ours.”

Tens of millions of young people are not there at the time. They are probably away visiting their aunts in the country or something. Millions of students don’t form gangs to torture and kill their teachers and professors, nurses and medical students don’t drown doctors in toilet effluent, not one single young person denounces his or her parents for any reason at all. Liu Shaoqi’s death is an unfortunate case of accidentally torturing himself to death and then cremating himself afterwards. Nearly three million people are certainly not brutally murdered by anyone at all, especially by the young people who are probably in the countryside visiting their aunts or something. And that’s all as it should be, particularly since those same young people would be in their late forties and early-to-late fifties today, and therefore running most of the companies and institutions in the country.

1969
WAR! Chinese forces peacefully self-defend themselves against foreign aggression along the Sino-USSR border formed by the Amur and Ussuri Rivers, on which China claims the historic right to navigate since ancient times. The Evil Foreign Oppressors are taught a lesson by the Brave Chinese, who don’t even run away very much at all. This ‘Mass Incident‘ is not mentioned in later Chinese textbooks. Repeated Russian demands for an apology go unreported in China.

1971
Business is booming, and a journalist, visiting at the invitation of the unfortunately-named Deng Xiaoping, reports that:

‘In 1969 the total output increased 90 percent over 1966. That increase was 100 percent over designated capacity. On this basis, in 1970 we fulfilled production 42 days ahead.”

1976
Mao Zedong, the Great Helmsman, dies. His body is converted into a wax candle by means of Advanced Alchemy, and is put on display. Rumours that he later turns orange and has his ear fall off are greatly exaggerated. A verdict on his reign finds that he was 70% correct, and 30% incorrect. The 30% incorrect portion relates to his repeated hosting of Curry Night at Zhongnanhai, in which he would cook his Famous-in-the-World Beef Vindaloo. Lin Biao in particular had been a staunch critic of Mao’s Vindaloo’s, and refused to allow his own staff anything other than Traditional And Delicious Chinese Cuisine*

(*Ironically, Lin Biao died on September 13th, 1971, when his private jet crashed. The inquest found that both Lin’s pilots had been poisoned by actually eating Chinese food, and recommended that in future, at least one pilot eat real food, imported from the West. This led in turn to KFC, McDonalds and Coca-Cola being invited to set up operations throughout China, and Deng Xiaoping’s ‘Open Door Policy’).

On July 28th, there is an earthquake in Tangshan, killing as many as 750,000 people and destroying 93% of all residential buildings. Mao’s successor, Hua Guofeng, shows great concern for the feelings of all the Chinese people, by refusing to accept Evil Foreign Assistance.

The same year, China is admitted to the United Nations as a result of a typing error. Repeated calls for the typist to apologise go unreported in China.

1978
Deng Xiaoping takes his place at the reins, and over a billion people spontaneously rush out and buy Deng-style suits, replacing the now-faded Mao-style suits. Deng, standing just 3 feet, 4 inches high, quickly becomes famous for his habit of chain-smoking cigarettes made from Panda skin. Panda populations plummet worldwide. Deng also orders the setting up of a ‘Birth Planning Commission’ in every town, the purpose of which is to ensure that useless girl babies no longer waste the State’s resources. Boy babies, on the other hand, are fine, just so long as people only have one of them per pair of parents.

Deng, focused on ‘Developing China’s Economic’, observes that:

“To get rich at the expense of everyone else, at any cost, by any means fair or foul, is glorious.”

and:

“It doesn’t matter whether it is a black cat, or a white cat, as long as you can shove a stick up it’s arse, and sell it as a lamb kebab.”

1979
WAR! Chinese forces peacefully self-defend themselves against foreign aggression in Vietnam. The Evil Foreign Oppressors are taught a lesson by the Brave Chinese, who don’t even run away very much at all. This ‘Mass Incident‘ is not mentioned in later Chinese textbooks. Despite the fact that the Red Army’s maps are 75 years out of date, that the Red Army is one of only two militaries in the world with no system of rank, that there is no air support, that they are armed with WWII-era weapons, that there are no modern logistics, communications or transport facilities, and casualties may well be as high as 75% (the Red Army later admits to a 25% casualty rate), the self-defending operation against Evil Foreign Oppressors is a complete victory. Repeated Vietnamese demands for an apology go unreported in China.

1982
Wang XianSheng becomes the first Chinese citizen in history to look both ways before crossing the road. Sadly, this goes totally unnoticed by anyone else, thus answering the question: “If a tree falls down in the forest and there is no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?”. Obviously, it doesn’t.

1984
Deng Xiaoping proclaims that Hong Kong is to be incorporated into China under a policy of something called ‘One Country, Two Systems’ – no one knows precisely what he is talking about, but most people in China suspect it has something to do with the electrical grid or voltages or something. Perhaps telephones. People in Hong Kong start purchasing flights to Vancouver.

June 4th, 1989
Starbucks officially opens it’s first outlet in Tienanmen Square, Beijing. Hundreds of thousands of students form an orderly queue and wait patiently for their chance to have a coffee. Fireworks to celebrate the opening of the store are mistakenly reported to be gunfire by Evil Foreign Media, NATO estimates of 7,000 deaths, and Soviet estimates of 10,000 deaths, are all cited as examples of why China is a Victim Of Foreign Aggression. Starbucks are told to relocate their outlet to the Forbidden City, where they won’t be able to cause any trouble in the future.

Shortly afterwards, Jiang Zemin is promoted to the top job. Over a billion Chinese citizens spontaneously rush out and buy cheap, ill-fitting business suits. Jiang Zemin is later credited with ‘Three Represents’, an enormous intellectual contribution to world philosophy. Put simply, ‘Three Represents’ states that the Chinese Communist Party is responsible for “…the requirements of the development of China’s advanced productive forces, the orientation of the development of China’s advanced culture, and the fundamental interests of the overwhelming majority of the people in China”. No one really understands it, but it sounds catchy all the same.

1997
Hong Kong becomes a colony of China. Both the electrical and telephone systems get re-wired. Shares in airlines that fly out of Hong Kong go through the roof.

1999
An Evil Cult manages to cause spiritual harm to the entire Chinese people. It is, quite rightly, banned from practising in future. Chinese leaders are praised by the Chinese media for following a correct path.

In other news, hospitals open their doors to Good Foreigners Who Need Organ Replacement Therapy.

2001
A US Navy EP-3E, a converted airliner, deliberately and without warning initiates Air Combat Manoeuvres (dogfighting) with a pair of Chinese fighter aircraft. One of the Chinese fighters is hit by the US Navy aggressor, killing the Brave Pilot. The EP-3E is damaged, but makes it to Hainan Island, where it is carefully repaired one system at a time by Chinese technicians, and the US crew allowed to enjoy a stay at a luxurious hotel, gratis. The inflight recorders are retained by the Red Army for legal reasons.

2002
Hu Jintao, known affectionately to his Tibetan colleagues as ‘the Butcher of Lhasa’, is promoted to the hot seat. He immediately sets about making sure that everyone is healthy, and that everyone is protected from Foreign Diseases. A few newspapers who have been printing irresponsible rumours are closed down for the good of the people, and some lawyers get what’s coming to ’em. Hu Jintao, as an avid musician, presides over the commissioning of a new ‘Harmonica Society’ – the response from jailbirds is overwhelming. The Red Army, too, is delighted, having had it’s wish-list fully granted.

‘Morally Correct’ media reporting and entertainment that is free of Evil Foreign Influences leads to a citizenry that is fully content in every way. Everyone is happy, and China becomes known as the Land Of Milk And Honey.

Posted in Annexed Territories, China, Human Rights, Lies & Damned Lies, Propaganda, Wang Xiansheng | Tagged: , | 33 Comments »

Fine Speech, Sir!

Posted by MyLaowai on Monday, July 30, 2007

This is a speech given by Senator Frank Wolf, who sits on the House Appropriations Committee, State and Foreign Operations Subcommittee. The speech was delivered July 17th, 2007.

…

“Imagine a country where factory workers have no workplace safety, labor or environmental protections and are required to work 80 hour-weeks for no more than $110 per month to produce goods for export.

“Imagine a country which boldly supplies missiles and chemical weapons technology to countries that support or harbor terrorists.

“Imagine a country that oversees a network of espionage operations against American companies and the U.S.

“Imagine a country which tortures and imprisons Catholic bishops, Protestant church leaders, Muslim worshipers, Falun Gong followers, and Buddhist monks and nuns just because of their faith and systematically destroys churches and confiscates Bibles.

“Imagine a country which has a thriving business of harvesting and selling for transplant kidneys, corneas and other human organs from executed prisoners who are thrown in prison with no trial or sentencing procedures.

“Imagine a country which maintains an extensive system of gulags – slave labor camps, also known as the “laogai” – as large as existed in the former Soviet Union that are used for brainwashing and “reeducation through labor.”

“Sadly, none of this is imaginary. Such a nation exists. It is the People’s Republic of China.

“Sadly, too, that’s just part of the list of egregious actions.

“In 2006, the Chinese government arrested 651 Christians that we know of. Currently China has 6 Catholic bishops in jail and another 9 under house arrest. Renowned human rights advocate Rebiya Kadeer has watched from exile as the Chinese government arrests and beats her family members in her homeland.

“Late last year, western mountain climbers captured on videotape a horrifying scene: Chinese police shooting from their North Face tents at a group of Tibetan refugees crossing Nangpa Pass. A 17-year old Buddhist nun was killed and several others were wounded.

“There are some who assert that human rights are something that should come once stability has been attained. They say that protection of human rights comes second to attaining economic power and wealth. We must reject that notion.

“During the debate over granting China permanent normal trade relations status, proponents argued that economic liberalization would lead to political liberalization in China, that exposing China to the West’s ideas and values would lead them to play a more constructive role in the international community, and that the U.S. and other industrialized nations could influence China through economic activity to better respect the rights of its citizens to fundamental human rights and the unfettered practice of their faith.

“Instead, we have seen why the protection of basic liberties should not come second to economic growth. The China of today is worse than than the China of yesterday, or of last year, or of the last decade. China is not progressing. It is regressing. It is more violent, more repressive, and more resistant to democratic values than it was before we opened our ports to freely accept Chinese products.

“And now, in addition to all of the horrible things the Chinese government does to its own citizens, it does to other countries’ citizens as well. It poisons children in Panama, the Dominican Republic, and Australia, with toothpaste containing an industrial solvent and prime ingredient in some antifreeze. This toothpaste was marketed under the brand name “Mr. Cool.”

“Some 1.5 million wooden toys in the Thomas the Tank Engine line of children’s trains were recalled after manufacturers discovered that the Chinese-made toys were slathered in lead-based paint, a substance that is toxic if swallowed.

“China continues to send American consumers adulterated and mislabeled food products, including prunes tinted with chemical dyes, dried apples preserved with a cancer-causing chemical, scallops and sardines coated with putrefying bacteria, and mushrooms laced with illegal pesticides.

“Food and Drug Administration inspectors who traveled across the world to investigate the recent mass poisoning of U.S. pets stemming from tainted pet food from China arrived at two suspected Chinese factories, only to find the factories had been cleaned out and all equipment dismantled.

“On June 28, the FDA banned the import of five types of farm-raised shrimp and fish from China because they are so contaminated from unsafe drugs in China’s polluted waterways.

“A recent NPR story described how garlic from China outsold garlic grown in California for the first time last year. China began dumping garlic at U.S. ports below cost in the 1990s. Hefty tariffs kept the garlic imports at bay for a few years, but since 2001, imports of Chinese garlic have increased fifteen-fold.

“Several Fourth of July celebrations in my district, including in my hometown of Vienna, Virginia, included malfunctioning fireworks that injured 11 people, including children and an infant. These fireworks came from China.

“Some 450,000 imported tires were recalled from Foreign Tire Sales after it was discovered that the Chinese-made tires were sold without a critical safety feature that prevents the tread from separating from the tire. A blown tire can cause the driver of the vehicle to lose control of his or her car and crash.

“China is one of the world’s leading producers of unlicensed copies of goods ranging from movies and designer clothes to sporting goods and medications. According to the Motion Picture Association of America, 93 percent of DVDs sold in China are unlicensed copies. The MPAA, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and other industry groups say that despite stricter Chinese enforcement, product piracy is growing amid China’s booming economic expansion.

“China is building a new coal-fired power plant every week and within a year will be the biggest source in the world of greenhouse gases. It is building factories and infrastructure all over the developing world, but we have no solid data on China’s plans or programs. A recent editorial in The Washington Post reported that World Bank experts estimate that toxic air and water in China kill some 710,000 to 760,000 Chinese each year.

“During a recent visit to Sudan, Chinese President Hu Jintao promised to build a new palace for the Sudanese president, Omar al-Bashir, despite Bashir’s role in orchestrating the ongoing genocide in Sudan’s Darfur region. This is in addition to the recent Amnesty International report that China is selling weapons to the Sudanese government, which are then being used to kill and maim innocent civilians in Darfur.

“China bullies neighboring Taiwan, repeatedly threatening to launch missiles from the mainland for Taiwan’s refusal to accept China’s claims of sovereignty over the democratically governed territory.

“And despite all of these abhorrent acts, China was still awarded the honor of hosting the 2008 Olympics. The Olympic Games: an event designed to lift up “the educational value of good example and respect for universal fundamental ethical principles,” according to its own charter. Does China’s behavior sound like a “good example” to the rest of the world? Or that it is reflecting “fundamental ethical principles” that all nations should aspire to?

“Amnesty International reports that the Chinese government is rounding up people in the streets of Beijing that might “threaten stability” during the Olympic Games, and is detaining them without trial. Human Rights Watch reports that the Chinese government is tightening restrictions on domestic and foreign media, in an effort to control what information leaks out about China’s repressive and violent nature during coverage of the Olympics.

“China has even gone so far as to claim it will “force rain” in the days leading up to the Olympics, in order to have clear skies for the Games. They intend to fire rocket shells containing sticks of silver iodide into Beijing’s skies, provoking a chemical reaction that will force rain – despite mixed reviews on the soundness of this science.

“China s desperation to conceal its true character leading up to the Games smacks of the Nazi bid for the Olympic Games. Analysts are likening the 2008 Beijing Olympics to the 1936 Olympics, in which Nazi Germany soft-pedaled its anti-Semitic agenda and plans for territorial expansion, fooling the international community with an image of a peaceful, tolerant Germany under the guise of the Olympic Games.

“Like the Nazi regime in 1936 Berlin, the Chinese government is preparing for the Olympics by hiring U.S. firms to handle public relations and marketing for the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

“Where is the outrage over China’s unacceptable behavior? The facts are before us. The United States can no longer say that things are improving in China

“But China would have America and the world believe that is the case. China has hired a number of large lobbying firms in Washington, DC to push China’s agenda with the U.S. government. Documents from the Department of Justice show these lobbyists as having a significant presence on Capitol Hill, including almost 200 meetings with Member offices between July 1, 2005 and December 31, 2006.

“America must be a country that stands up for basic decency and human rights. America must speak out on behalf of those who cannot speak for themselves – men and women who are being persecuted for their religious or political beliefs. Our foreign policy must be a policy that helps promote human rights and freedom. Not a policy that sides with dictators who oppress their own citizens.

“Next time you make a purchase, and you see the words “Made in China,” think of the poisoned toothpaste, the contaminated food, the polluted waterways and airspace, the exploding tires, malfunctioning fireworks, the human rights abuses, and the intimidation of religious leaders. Remember that China poses a threat not only to its own citizens, but to the entire world. American businesses have an opportunity to capitalize on China’s failure to protect the safety of its food exports. American businesses should seize this opportunity by reclaiming their place in the global market. The United States government and American consumers must be vigilant about protecting the values that we hold dear.”

…

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Thanks to A True Chinese Renaissance for the report.

Posted in Annexed Territories, Censorship, China, Corruption, Environment, Human Rights, Media, Olympics | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

QQ

Posted by MyLaowai on Sunday, July 22, 2007

First there was MSN Messenger, which was wonderful, because it gave Chinese office employees a reason to go to work. It also opened up an entirely new avenue for IPR theft, which of course is always a good thing here in China. The problem though, was that MSN Messenger was a foreign product, and therefore out of the control of the Party. So along comes QQ, the Chinese copy, which is obviously far better because it isn’t foreign. It still permits graft, has native Pinyin (Chinese language) support, and best of all automatically blocks anything the Communist Party deems dangerous.

Recently, some Chinese hackers located a document within the QQ installation package. The file contains over one thousand words, most of them in Chinese, which will be blocked by the service.

Owned by Tencent, QQ is China’s most popular Instant Messenger service. On a regular basis, tens of millions of users use their service. Because of its high traffic volume, it is technically much harder to build in the key word filtering mechanism on the server’s end. Instead, Tencent sneaked in a filtering program file in their installation package at the client end. When a client installs the QQ2003 software on their own computer desktop, a program file, called COMToolKit.dll, is automatically included. This file contains all the forbidden keywords, which will be automatically blocked when the client runs QQ. About 15% of the words are sex related, the rest are all related to politics. About 20% of the words are Falungong related, including [master] and [disciple]; about 15% are names of current officials and their relatives; about 10% are words used in the liberal political discourse such as “democracy”, “freedom”, and “dictatorship”; and about 5% are related to certain nationalistic issues, such as [defend Diaoyu Island], [Sino-Russian Border], [selling out the country] etc. About 15% of the forbidden words are related to anti-corruption, such as，[smuggling], [public fund]） etc. Other censored words include names of dissidents, writers, and intellectuals, and names of certain foreign publications.

The full list is below. Please note that it is no longer in text format, due to the adverse effect this has on my ability to view my own blog in China. Therefore, it’s a Hi-Res JPG. Download and view to see the list.

Thanks to China Digital Times for the list and heads-up.

 

UPDATE: Want to know which words are blocked? Check This Out!

Posted in Censorship, Human Rights, Media | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

Another Front for Political and Ideological Education

Posted by MyLaowai on Sunday, July 8, 2007

Oh dear, here we go (again)…

China’s Ministry of Education has banned university students from renting private accommodation during their studies, telling all students that they must share four to eight-person dormitories.

In a notice issued on Friday, the ministry instructed all universities to make the dormitories “another front for political and ideological education” in order to create a “good climate for the students’ growth”.

The ministry told the universities to strengthen the administration of dormitories, in what it says will ensure the safety of students and facilitate communication between them.

It also ruled that students sharing dormitories should be classmates with the aim of making it easier for teachers to monitor students’ lifestyles outside the classroom.

– Xinhua

Posted in Censorship, Human Rights | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

Dear Dad…

Posted by MyLaowai on Saturday, June 16, 2007

My old man is a decent bloke. He’s one of those chaps who deeply, sincerely believes in the goodness and downright humanity of all people, everywhere. That belief has cost him a few times, when people with a little less goodness and humanity than average have taken advantage of his better nature, but by and large it’s a belief that has seen him right and won him many friends. Despite not being particularly religious, he’s a better Christian than most Christians will ever be, and kudos to him for it.

I used to feel much the same way. As I’ve stated elsewhere, I used to believe that all people were all basically the same, that all parents wanted a better life for their kids than they had themselves, that education was the key to progress, that when you smiled at people, the vast majority would smile back, that love really was the most basic human emotion.

And then I came to the People’s Republic of Cheats China.

I was chatting to my dad the other day on the phone – always a bit tricky, due to the difference in time zones (he lives 5 hours and 5,000 years ahead of China). Anyway, he happened to mention that he’d taken a look at this blog, and he’d been a bit unimpressed. Essentially, he thought it was just a bunch of people complaining about things for the sake of it. I pondered that for quite some time. Is that what we all seem to sound like? Sure, we complain, but isn’t it at least possible that there’s something to it all? What would it take, short of actually living here, to even begin to understand what is really going on in this Evil Empire?

Well, dad, this post is dedicated to you.

1. Do you remember a couple of months back, when you asked about the weather here in Shanghai? I think I replied something to the effect that it was a bit chilly, but not raining. Well, dad, I really shouldn’t have done that. You see, by telling you the current weather, I was in violation of both the 1988 Law on the Protection of State Secrets, and the 1990 Measures for Implementing the Law on the Protection of State Secrets. I can be dragged out of my home in the middle of the night by plainclothed thugs and made to disappear for that. Or I could simply be kept under house arrest without charge indefinitely.

New regulations to take effect next year will clamp down on the illegal acquisition of Chinese meteorological information by foreigners.

The China Meteorological Administration (CMA) has identified about 20 breaches of weather security since 2000, the paper said.

“Illegal meteorological surveys and data collection have infringed China’s sovereignty… and threatened the country’s security,” the paper quoted CMA Vice Minister Zheng Guogang as saying.

– China Daily, 2006

2. Of course, I’m not likely to really get into trouble for telling you the weather, am I? That would be silly. On the other hand, by telling you that the weather is a State Secret, I am in violation of the State Secrets Law. Boy, I’m really racking up the charges now, ain’t I?

According to New York-based Human Rights in China, the world’s most populous country needs to come up with a clear definition of what it considers to be a state secret, The Los Angeles Times reported.

In a study released Tuesday, Human Rights in China said citizens in China have been thrown into jail for mailing newspaper clippings, defending displaced tenants and writing a doctoral thesis using 50-year-old library records.

A Chinese woman whose son was imprisoned for revealing state secrets said the lack of a clear definition means they can call anything they want a state secret, the Times said.

“It’s a conspiracy. They can use these at will to punish people,” Gao Quinsheng said in the article.

3. Of course, it all sounds a bit, well, dramatic, doesn’t it? I mean, it’s not the Cold War any longer, and we’re all friends now in this harmonious new world, aren’t we? Surely China has a right to look after its’ own interests, and anyway, there are plenty of laws to protect people. The Constitution certainly does.

Tell that to my friend, a lawyer who took on a class action against the Shanghai Municipal Government, on behalf of residents who had been illegally evicted from their homes. Their homes were demolished and the land use rights sold to property developers. He won his case, the first time in history that the Chinese Communist Party has lost a court case on its own turf. And then, a week later, my friend was bundled into a police car whilst walking down the street, and sent to the Laogai. Because the Laogai system is extra-judicial, there was no trial, no appeal, and little hope of survival. His family weren’t informed of this for some time. A large number of people gathered to protest (many of whom were the residents on whose behalf he had taken on the court case). Some twenty of them were taken away, too. They haven’t been heard of since. Oh yes, and the same week the ruling judge overturned his own verdict and exonerated the Shanghai Government.

4. But let us not concern ourselves with isolated events. Sure, there are a few unfortunate cases, but by and large China is a peaceful nation and the Party is working hard to improve the condition of the people. Right? I mean, yes, they have annexed Tibet, East Turkestan, and half of Mongolia, and they did invade India, Vietnam, and Korea, not to mention initiating hostilities against Russia and the UN, and supported (financially and materially) revolutionary and anti-government groups in literally dozens of countries. And sure, they were the force behind the Khmer Rouge, and have supplied weapons and intelligence to Osama Bin Laden, Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic, and various groups in the Sudan and elsewhere (and there’s always Taiwan to consider)… BUT, that’s all history, yes?

No. The Chinese Communist Party has an ambitious buying program underway for the Red Army, which includes Improved Kilo SSK’s and Sovremennyy DDG’s armed with SS-N-22 Moskit (‘Sunburn’) ramjet-powered supersonic cruise missiles (to which no defence yet exists). There are new main battle tanks, new mobile artillery, and a brand spanking new airforce that includes SU-27’s, SU-27SK’s, SU-30MK’s, and the new J-10’s. Look ’em up on Google, dad, they are rather impressive. They are developing their own aircraft carriers, and have already purchased the aircraft that will fly off them. There is a new generation of ballistic missile submarines (the 094) entering service now, armed with the DF-31 ballistic missiles (8,000 Km range, MIRV’d warheads). Not that they did it all on their own, the Los Alamos facility all but admitted that every one of their warhead designs were stolen by Chinese spies. Add to this list a manned space program operated for and by the military and the worlds largest army (1.7 million men under arms, which does not include other armed services such as the Peoples Armed Police or the Public Security Forces). What they don’t have is a functional healthcare system, social security net, or many of the other things countries that care about their people seem to have.

5. All well and good, but they wouldn’t actually use any of that hardware, would they? According to Major General Zhu Chenghu, they would:

China should use nuclear weapons against the United States if the American military intervenes in any conflict over Taiwan, a senior Chinese military official has said.

“If the Americans draw their missiles and position-guided ammunition on to the target zone [China or Taiwan], I think we will have to respond with nuclear weapons.”

In extensive comments, Zhu said he believed that the Chinese government was under internal pressure to change its “no first use” policy and to make clear that it would employ the most powerful weapons at its disposal to defend its claim over Taiwan.

Many military analysts have assumed that any battle over Taiwan would be localized, with both China and the United States taking care to ensure that it would not expand into a general war between the two powers, but the comments by Zhu suggest that at least some elements of the military are prepared to widen the conflict.

“If the Americans are determined to interfere, then we will be determined to respond,” he said. “We Chinese will prepare ourselves for the destruction of all the cities east of Xian. Of course the Americans will have to be prepared that hundreds of cities will be destroyed by the Chinese.”

Zhu’s threat is not the first of its kind from a senior Chinese military official. In 1995, Xiong Guangkai, who is now the deputy chief of the general staff of the People’s Liberation Army, told Chas Freeman, a former Pentagon official, that China would consider using nuclear weapons in a Taiwan conflict. Freeman quoted Xiong as saying that Americans should worry more about Los Angeles than Taipei.

Add to that the fact that they recently “blinded a U.S. satellite using a ground-based laser, and blasted one of its own satellites out of orbit with a ballistic missile”, not to mention what they are currently doing to the people in Tibet and East Turkestan…

6. But how do the Chinese people feel about this? That question was asked recently by the BBC. There were many replies, most slightly muted and not as extreme as we who live here hear. These were among the conclusions of the non-Chinese who saw the programme:

I see all these opinions from people of Chinese origin and they confirm my fears. They are not interested in a peaceful China, a tolerant China, a democratic and liberal China, they want to see the superpower, the best country in the world throwing its weight around and bullying the rest of the world. It seems to me that they want an imperialistic China as much as they detest any western superpower. Not good, not good at all.

The future will indeed be a scary place as China will likely be another superpower. A superpower that is undemocratic and has no respect for human rights. A nation that is getting stronger economically and militarily every day.

After speaking with many young Chinese people overseas, I was astonished by the amazing effect of nationalistic propaganda imposed on the new generation. Any criticism towards the communist party is regarded by them as an attack on the people and nation of China. The Chinese communist party has reinforced its grasp of power very well after putting down the massive democratic movement of 1989. I believe the students had good intentions 15 years ago but were overly naïve and hasty. The movement achieved exactly the opposite of its goals: Even if the government at the time was starting to slowly concede more political freedom to the people, it certainly changed its mind in 1989 and decided instead to re-educate the youths to ensure that such challenges to the absolute authority of the Party never happened again.

Amen.

7. And here I have to say, I lack the will to go on. Mind you, y’know the saying about a picture being worth a thousand words? Well I’ve written just under two thousand words here, but they cannot capture the Spirit Of China nearly as well as the following picture of a Police vehicle:

070616shotdead.jpg

‘If you ride a motorcycle [use a vehicle] to rob [commit a crime],
You’ll be shot to death on the spot’

If, after all this, you remain unconvinced, then all I can do is tell you that, whilst these people think chicken claws and rats intestines is good food, they hate both Marmite and Vegemite. And that should be enough to convince anyone!

Posted in Censorship, Corruption, Human Rights, Lies & Damned Lies | Tagged: , | 12 Comments »

The Finest Blog Post I Have Ever Read

Posted by MyLaowai on Saturday, June 2, 2007

The staggering magnificence of China

It is almost beyond belief: China is in its blossom and no sight could be more gorgeous. As you walk the streets of its capital, there is a wonderful mood of joy and optimism, even invincibility. The restaurants are crowded, and smiling, well-dressed people seem to be everywhere. Who would believe that not that many years ago this nation was suffering from seemingly insurmountable upheavals and crises, political, social and economic –all swept away by a focused, strong and determined leadership the likes of which the nation (and the world) had never seen before?

Yes, people who were here just 10 years ago and who are returning for the first time are calling it a miracle, and indeed it is. This is an engine that simply cannot be slowed, let alone stopped. And it all came about thanks to the vision of one man and one party that knew exactly where China should go and how it should get there. From an isolated and humiliated nation, China has emerged as a true superpower.

The transition hasn’t been easy nor has it always been gentle. The truth is, to keep the momentum going and achieve its high goals, the government has had to be strict. At times, protestors have been dealt with harshly, and many were imprisoned. But when you have an entire nation to watch over, it is simply impractical and impossible to allow dissent and criticism to get in the way. And the Chinese people agree. This is their day in the sun, and they have expressed a sincere love of their government, a love that is utterly without precedent. They have simply never known such success, such glory.

Some on the outside have complained about the persecution of “unfriendly” religious groups, and even acts of violence against them. That cannot be denied, but I’m sure it will improve. Many Chinese see these groups as dangeorus cults, and are only too happy to see them dealt with firmly and efficiently. But these are little things, far overshadowed by the greatness of the economy and all of the benefits it brings.

Some have also said that government spending is behind much of the prosperity. This is true to a certain extent, but other nations have dipped into the state coffers before, and as the economy grows the debts will be paid. The massive spending is worthwhile and will bear results.

As proof of just how high China’s star has soared, the country has been chosen to host the Olympics! Can you believe it, looking back at the relative chaos of 20 years ago? How fast and how explosive this growth has been! The Olympics – this gives China and its regime a patina of respectability and validation like nothing else could. It is a sign of international respect and has elevated national pride to new pinnacles.

Possibly the most extraordinary aspect of the new China is the sheer irrepressible optimism of the people. They are boisterous and proud. They can do anything, they can even help make China a master of the world! They know about the criticisms of the government, the charges of suppression, but it’s water off a duck’s back.

Now is a very, very good time to be Chinese, and they respect the rules. China is a country of laws. You understand and respect the need to not call for changes in the government or to stir up trouble. Yes, the government is everywhere and watches everything, but it’s a tiny price to pay for its pulling China up by its bootstraps. And as long as you mind your own affairs and leave the government free to do its vital business, your prosperity will continue.

So let’s give China in the year 2007 all of the praise and recognition it deserves.

But wait a minute. There is one big lie in the tribute above: It is not about China and it has nothing to do with the year 2007.

It is all about Nazi Germany in the year 1936. Every word. Go back and see. Just substitute Germany for China and Germans for Chinese.

So what’s the point? Only to point out the irony of how something that seemed so picture-perfect in 1936 not long afterward was perceived as something very different. Some of us who are critical of right-wing regimes tend to allow the glare of China’s successes to blind us to the inequities and iniquities inherent to any police state. I was blinded about it myself for some years. I am not drawing any direct comparisons of the CCP to the Nazis, tempting though it may be. The CCP is at least showing dramatic signs of continuing reform. But there are still interesting historical parallels.

Meanwhile, I want to see China continue to grow and prosper, because I care a lot about the people there. Looking at all that prosperity and success, it is so easy to forget that it’s a country still in the iron grip of tyranny. You wouldn’t know that from the smiling faces and jubilant mood in Beijing and Shanghai. But it is.

– The Peking Duck

I’ve been saying the same thing myself… But not nearly so well.

Posted in Human Rights, Media, Olympics | Tagged: | 1 Comment »

Richard Writes…

Posted by MyLaowai on Friday, May 25, 2007

I just read this wonderful post by Richard Spencer, certainly one of the better journalists in China. If I may quote from it:

Some might say that journalists shouldn’t take a stand. Perhaps they are right. But I can tell you that on these things it is hard to pretend we don’t have attitudes: The Dalai Lama: we are sympathetic; the Tibetans have had, and continue to have, a rough time.

Taiwan: we don’t care much whether Taiwan is or is not a part of China. But we think it’s up to the people who live there, not missile batteries on the coast of Fujian.

The East Turkestan Islamic Movement: we are not at all sure this exists any more. If it does, we don’t support terrorism, but as with Taiwan, we think the Uighurs have had a rough time, and are sympathetic to them as a people, at least.

Democracy movements: need you ask? We understand the Chinese desire for caution, and to avoid destablising, overnight change. But at the end of the day – yes, we are in favour. As Margaret Beckett said the other day, a society in which the people are not granted the levers of political change is not stable in any sense we understand.

Falun gong: a bit crazy, and they often talk nonsense (too many of their methods of argument, and their understanding of the word proof, seem to resemble the Chinese Communist Party Propaganda Department’s). But do they deserve in any way what’s happened to them? No.
.
.
Many, many “friends of China” – businessmen and diplomats who say the politically correct thing in public – have the same views in private, even those from “friendly” Asian countries whom Beijing thinks it has won over with its “soft power”.

Kudos to you, Mr Spencer.

Posted in Annexed Territories, Human Rights, Media | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

China’s New ‘Property Rights Law’…

Posted by MyLaowai on Monday, April 23, 2007

Thanks to Roland for translating this article.

Excerpt:

With the Property Rights Law that has just been passed in the background, more than 300 households have just been forcibly evicted. The process occurred over more than one months’ time and the site is in the bustling city center of Foshan. These “scavengers” knocked down doors and walls in enter into people’s homes to take other people’s properties and assets. Sometimes, they did not even care if the household members were present and they robbed and vandalized the homes. Is this still a society under the rule of law? Or are these chaotic times during wartime?

The police explanation of the “scavengers” seems to be the most absurd thing ever. If the police assert that these several hundred “scavengers’ had been able to go undeterred in their crime spree in the center of a major city such as Foshan over the course of one whole month, then the police are guilty of serious dereliction of duty, malfeasance or even being an accessory in crime.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. You’d be a fool to believe any differently.

Posted in Human Rights, Media | Tagged: | 2 Comments »

A Question of Priorities

Posted by MyLaowai on Friday, April 20, 2007

The story goes thusly:

The gf has a friend, who has a father, who has a complicated set of medical problems. I say complicated, but really it’s fairly simple: he suffers from haemorrhaging in the brain and diabetes, which together often show the same symptoms as stroke.

The other day, he had an apparent stroke. The family were there, and luckily for him, they actually care about him a bit, so they called an ambulance. It took a long time for the ambulance to arrive – no surprise, seeing as what few ambulances are in service here are used to take the children of minor-rank Party officials to and from school. Still, you can’t blame the family for believing that the ambulance service would be operational in this Harmonious Workers Paradise. They eventually got him aboard, and headed to the nearest hospital. That hospital turned him away, ostensibly because they were ‘full’, but in reality because a man who looks to be dying is not much of a money earner. The next hospital had another excuse. And the next. And the next. And so on. To cut a long story short, they drove around for several hours – this is in Modern, Developed Shanghai, remember – before finding a (military) hospital that would accept him. The ambulance driver then said to the family (who were along for the ride), “what a waste of resource, driving you poor people around”.

No one would wheel his stretcher in, so his family did. They wheeled him from A to B to C and all the way to M, with lots of backtracking along the way. Lots of tests, and lots of payments by the family to ‘smooth things along’. The people who examined the patient (remember, the guy looks to have suffered a stroke, hardly something minor), said that it would take a couple of days to get an answer, but that he needed an IV drip every day for weeks to come. He also had 200cc of blood drawn because it would be “good for his healthy”, but not for any other reason. And then pronounced him not having had a stroke and they kicked him out.

Now, y’all know I believe we all get the society we deserve, and I’m not about to shed crocodile tears over this guy, but here’s my question:

If China wasn’t financing the world’s largest standing army, wasn’t investing hundreds of billions in advanced offence-only weaponry, didn’t have a large (and growing) first-strike nuclear arsenal (including ballistic missile submarines and road-mobile ICBM’s), and didn’t have the world’s largest military (and manned) space program…

D’ya think they might have a functioning health-care system?

(Since posting this, I’ve had a large number of people answer “No, they still wouldn’t have a functioning health-care system”. Fair enough.)

Posted in Human Rights | Tagged: | Leave a Comment »

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